Get a good kiss hello Costanza?


I gotta wind up next to ________ and his dog Cujo.

I gotta wind up next to the Pope and his dog Cujo.

She did a full body flex on a ______ jar

She did a full body flex on an Ovaltine jar.

I'm ______ your shrimps.

I'm responsible for your shrimps

The wedding is delayed until June. It's like a stay of______

The wedding is delayed until June. It's like a stay of noise pollution.

All it takes is one ____ to lay eggs.

All it takes is one Bizarro to lay eggs

He gave you the nice _______ discount

He gave you the nice hair hat discount.

The little _____ is blinking right now.

The little Frogger is blinking right now

I'm a ________ camel.

I'm a Chinese camel.

You know, I dig _____ women.

You know, I dig tall women.

Your misery is my______

Your misery is my Moops.

Who invaded _____ in the 8th century?

Who invaded Brooklyn in the 8th century?

You know a ________can be very filling

You know a hot dog at Nathan's can be very filling.

It could be years till I get back to ____________.

You know a hot dog at Nathan's can be very filling.

It could be years till I get back to ____________.

It could be years till I get back to the Red Planet.

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the______

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the the pee-pipes stuff.

He's like an older _______ to me.

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the the pee-pipes stuff.

He's like an older _______ to me.

He's like an older Frankenstein to me.

I never met a man who knew so much about_______

I never met a man who knew so much about the McBierny School.

These people go swimming in the winter. They're ______.

These people go swimming in the winter. The're breathtaking.

You are a laughing stock. You are a ______

These people go swimming in the winter. The're breathtaking.

You are a laughing stock. You are a ______

You are a laughing stock. You are a tad askew.

You were making ____ during Schindler's List?

You were making cookies during Schindler's List?

What the hell is a ______, anyway?

What the hell is a Bozo the Clown, anyway?

How can you call yourself a _____ and not know who Bozo is?

How can you call yourself a orgy guy not know who Bozo is?

His whole life is a _______ camp

His whole life is a Twix camp.

I think I've reached a point in my life where I can tell between _____ and cookie.

I think I've reached a point in my life where I can tell between toilet paper and cookie.

Fine, it's a __________ of limitations!.

Fine, it's a big salad of limitations!

I gotta get over to ______ before it all goes back to China.

I gotta get over to NBC before it all goes back to China

.Hey I got a rubber ______ thing going here

Hey I got a rubber sponge thing going here.


- Why do you have a bug guy? - I have _____.

Why do you have a bug guy? - I have Costanza!

So, um, do you date ________ men?

So, um, do you date West End Avenue men?

I don't even know if I should take my winter ______.

I don't even know if I should take my winter Mansiere?

That's a pretty big _______ ball hanging out there.

That's a pretty big frankfurter ball hanging out there.

Between you and me, Elaine, I think I got a ____-odor problem.

Between you and me, Elaine, I think I got a postal worker odor problem.

I don't want to see the ________ people,

I don't want to see the Hennigan's people.

Did George buy that sweater knowing the _____ was on it?

Did George buy that sweater knowing the voodoo rattle torture was on it?

So the New York Yankees treated you for a bunch of Tyler _______?

So the New York Yankees treated you for a bunch of Tyler bologna sandwiches?

I think you're all a little ______ in the head.

I think you're all a little uneducated in the head

What? What happened to the new_______?

What? What happened to the new Drake's Coffee Cake?

I can't commit to a woman, I'm not committing to an _____.

I can't commit to a woman, I'm not committing to an fantasy camp.

Oh, did I frighten you? I'm not_______

Oh, did I frighten you? I'm not getting hair transplants.

It's like waiting in the shower for the _______ to work.

It's like waiting in the shower for the garbage disposal to work.,

it's for gettin' around, like a_______

It's for gettin' around, like a Woody Woodpecker balloon.

There are ______ with real asses hanging out of their pants.

There are Clowns with real asses hanging out of their pants.

You want Little Jerry to take a________

There are Clowns with real asses hanging out of their pants.

You want Little Jerry to take a________

You want Little Jerry to take a big clown shirt with the ruffles?

Damn it. I can't find my _____ gun.

Damn it. I can't find my pickle gun.

You get a ______of it and look away

You get a map of it and look away.

They always tell you, whatever you do in a hotel fire, do not _____.

They always tell you, whatever you do in a hotel fire, do not do it in he tub!

Why do we have to act like we're________

They always tell you, whatever you do in a hotel fire, do not do it in he tub!

Why do we have to act like we're________

Why do we have to act like we're Moops?


________ like this should be out of circulation.

Soup like this should be out of circulation.

An open-door ________ policy,

An open-door Serenity Now policy

- This is Ronnie Kaye. - The ____ comic?

This is Ronnie Kaye. - The crazy clown comic?

It smells like a cheap_______

It smells like a cheap smelly car.

Kramer, ______'s afraid of Snowball.

Kramer, the Clown's afraid of Snowball.

You're not ________ and you have no integrity

You're not Joe DiMaggio and you have no integrity.

I looked in there and there he was having coffee and a _______.

I looked in there and there he was having coffee and a pickle.


You know a muffin can be very________

You know a muffin can be very one hundred percent Lycra spandex.

This _______ really itches me.

This Rat Har really itches me.

those envelopes were _______

Those envelopes were making me thirsty.

You're bringing in an outside ________?

You're bringing in an outside Muffin?

Cherish the ______

Cherish the clown checks.

You want me to go out, get you a _____ comic?

You want me to go out, get you a serial killer comic?

I'm a man who respects a good______

I'm a man who respects a good pig trying to push his way through from the other side.

Just hurtling through space in your _________ watching TV.

I'm a man who respects a good pig trying to push his way through from the other side.

Just hurtling through space in your _________ watching TV.

Just hurtling through space in your rickshaw watching TV

.His whole life revolves around Superman and_______

His whole life revolves around Superman and Bozo the Clown.

Cynthia felt we should nuke the _______.

Cynthia felt we should nuke the Vandelay Industries!

Jackie's cashin' in on your wretched________

Jackie's cashin' in on your wretched head librarian.

An overdue _____ from 1971?

An overdue bus from 1971?

I told you God would never let me be_______

I told you God would never let me be an architect.

Yeah, there was a fire in my ______.

Yeah, there was a fire in my hair like the bride of Frankenstein.

I was in a ________for 6 hours. Give me a break

I was in a West Side YMCA for 6 hours. Give me a break.

I'm meeting him for lunch at ______ around the corner.

I was in a West Side YMCA for 6 hours. Give me a break.

I'm meeting him for lunch at ______ around the corner.

I'm meeting him for lunch at The Dream Cafe around the corner.

The dreaded______

The dreaded diplomat's club

Who would order a license plate that says ____man?

Who would order a license plate that says virgin man?

This ends the great ____ man experiment

Who would order a license plate that says virgin man?

This ends the great ____ man experiment

This ends the great Chinese man experiment.

Is there anything wrong with getting a receipt at a _______?

Is there anything wrong with getting a receipt at a whorehouse?

What you're cheating on your ________ test?

What, you're cheating on your interesting cultural, ethnic mix test?

Hey, there's a _____ up on the roof.

Hey, there's a butter shave up on the roof.

I went out to apologize to a________

Hey, there's a butter shave up on the roof.

I went out to apologize to a________

I went out to apologize to a coffee table.

What's going on? It's a little early for a Christmas ______.

What's going on? It's a little early for a Christmas Pole.

I couldn't make the trasition from conversation to______

What's going on? It's a little early for a Christmas Pole.

I couldn't make the trasition from conversation to______

I couldn't make the transition from conversation to a massage.


Do you have any conceivable reason for even _________ in the morning?

Do you have any conceivable reason for even butter shaving in the morning?

You know you're getting to be an annoying little ______ yourself

You know you're getting to be an annoying little high talker yourself.


It's Risk, Jerry. The game of _____ conquest.

You know you're getting to be an annoying little high talker yourself.


It's Risk, Jerry. The game of _____ conquest.

It's Risk, Jerry. The game ofLatvian Orthodox conquest.

I don't want your _____ down there

I don't want your sunblock down there.

That is the most ________ lineswoman I've ever seen.

That is the most improbable lines woman I've ever seen.

You're a quirk or two away from full-on_________

You're a quirk or two away from full-on congeniality.

I'm going out with a Miss ___________ contestant.

I'm going out with a Miss Vandelay contestant.

You know, your ________ the entire building.

You know, you're hitting on the entire building.

You know him, Dan. Remember, we went to that ______ at his house?

You know him, Dan. Remember, we went to that sex romp at his house?

Brother Costanzo will be taking the vow of_______

You know him, Dan. Remember, we went to that sex romp at his house?

Brother Costanzo will be taking the vow of_______

Brother Costanzo will be taking the vow of low talking.

By the way, your stationery-store guy called. He's got your ______.

By the way, your stationery-store guy called. He's got your office skank

Momma had taken a lover. Perhaps ______ was this man's name

By the way, your stationery-store guy called. He's got your office skank

Momma had taken a lover. Perhaps ______ was this man's name

Momma had taken a lover. Perhaps Puddy was this man's name.


The _____ with the little curl of smoke.

The pinky toe with the little curl of smoke.

________ was going crazy

The maid was going crazy.

I got a _________from this little old lady in my building, Mrs. Krantz.

I got a Baum from this little old lady in my building, Mrs. Krantz

.It's just so much_______

I got a Baum from this little old lady in my building, Mrs. Krantz

.It's just so much_______

It's just so much snuggliness.

And you want to be my _____ salesman.

And you want to be my wheelchair salesman

She was ________ the floor with me

She was butter shaving the floor with me.


I tripped because of these stupid _______ boots.

I tripped because of these stupid mudder boots.

you think if I jumped off this _______ I'd get hurt?

You think if I jumped off this armoire I'd get hurt?

Bob and Cedric bully Kramer and steal the ______.

Bob and Cedric bully Kramer and steal the Statue!

Boy these are really bad_______

Boy these are really bad cowboy boots.

Hey, I gotta get some cash. I'm gonna run down to the _____.

Boy these are really bad cowboy boots.

Hey, I gotta get some cash. I'm gonna run down to the _____.

Hey, I gotta get some cash. I'm gonna run down to the library

Twix is the only candy with the ________ crunch

Twix is the only candy with the Captain Crunch.

I'm gonna do some TV spots for Leapin' Larry's ______ Store.

I'm gonna do some TV spots for Leapin' Larry's wheelchair store!

Face like a ______ pan?

Face like a muffin pan?

She's too weak to talk, but she'll be happy to hear your _____.

Face like a muffin pan?

She's too weak to talk, but she'll be happy to hear your _____.

She's too weak to talk, but she'll be happy to hear your misery!

His whole life is a ________ camp

His whole life is an Ivory Liquid camp.

Remember that time I got us to _________ in rush hour in 15 minutes?

Remember that time I got us to the bathroom in rush hour in 15 minutes?

Well it's not really like after the _________

Remember that time I got us to the bathroom in rush hour in 15 minutes?

Well it's not really like after the _________

Well it's not really like after the cocoa bean.

My _______ goes babbling on and on like a crazy person.

Well it's not really like after the cocoa bean.

My _______ goes babbling on and on like a crazy person.

My Hooker goes babbling on and on like a crazy person.

You know a muffin can be very_______

You know a muffin can be very brutal.

How could ____ leave us alone with this lunatic?

How could Suprman leave us alone with this lunatic?

Hey I got a rubber _______ thing going here

How could Superman leave us alone with this lunatic?

Hey I got a rubber _______ thing going here

Hey I got a rubber clown check from Chemical Bank thing going here.

This guy, Fred Yerkes, remembers every little thing about that night except _____.

This guy, Fred Yerkes, remembers every little thing about that night except the pony

If it doesn’t fit, you must______

This guy, Fred Yerkes, remembers every little thing about that night except the pony

If it doesn’t fit, you must______

If it doesn’t fit, you must spit.

Doctor gave me a ______ cassette.

Doctor gave me a fantasy cassette.

My little man's an______

My little man's an Elephant Man.

I gotta warn him that I told Joe Davola about his _____.

I gotta warn him that I told Joe Davola about his, Mojambo!.

Tony says you better ______ off George

Tony says you better weave your web off, George.


Fabrics and ______ traded under a starlit sky.

Fabrics and Twix traded under a starlit sky

I told you God would never let me be _______

I told you God would never let me be a banker.

By the way, the car hit a ______, and now it's making a clanking noise.

By the way, the car hit a whale and now it's making a clanking noise

.I got rejected by a _______ woman.

I got rejected by a Sister Mary Catherine woman.

God, I've never seen a _______ so stubborn.

God, I've never seen a male body so stubborn.

Forget about the home bed________

God, I've never seen a male body so stubborn.

Forget about the home bed________

Forget about the home bed Indecent Proposal.

Now, I projected those figures for you regarding the switch to _____ oil for stadium popcorn.

Now, I projected those figures for you regarding the switch to eggplant oil for stadium popcorn

.Oh, this is tantamount to a slap in the______

Oh, this is tantamount to a slap in the big head.

Jerry and Kramer discover Newman has been hiding bags of _____.

Jerry and Kramer discover Newman has been hiding bags of Kasha Varnishkas.

I am one clever ________

I am one clever tubby.

If that yogurt has ___ in it, I will put myself on an all-yogurt diet.

If that yogurt has flouride. in it, I will put myself on an all-yogurt diet.

Run the ________by yourselves! I quit!

If that yogurt has flouride. in it, I will put myself on an all-yogurt diet.

Run the ________by yourselves! I quit!

Run the rest stop supply company by yourselves! I quit!

Wouldn't let that butcher cut my _____.

Wouldn't let that butcher cut my nails

.Not one house to rent in all of_______

Not one house to rent in all of Queens.

You're not having dinner with a ____ salesman.

You're not having dinner with a latex salesman

What's with the fake______

What's with the fake tractor story?

And then the _____ hits him in the head, and he falls right over the railing.

And then the organizer hits him in the head, and he falls right over the railing.

Can you do this one little _______, Newmie?

Can you do this one little butter shave, Newmie?


Hey. Come on, it's $182 there. I don't think that's anything to ________ at.

Hey. Come on, it's $182 there. I don't think that's anything to coup d'e-toe at

I put her keyboard on my ______

I put her keyboard on my extensive toy collection in her apartment.

Jerry brings George over to her apartment with a large ______ and a box of wine.

Jerry brings George over to her apartment with a large squirrel and a box of wine.

You're quite _____ you know

You're quite a baldist you know.

Hello, is this the ____ restoration clinic?

Hello, is this the toe restoration clinic?

My idiot son could open that _______ door

My idiot son could open that Poppie's restaurant door.

I can't wait to get me a _____ and make my own pie.

I can't wait to get me a Monkey and make my own pie.

A little round circular_______

I can't wait to get me a Monkey and make my own pie.

A little round circular_______

A little round circular pizza pie

It's Risk, Jerry. The game of ______.

It's Risk, Jerry. The game of sex romp.

You got anything going on the______

You got anything going on the Super Bowl tickets?

Who goes to the ______ with their mailman?

Who goes to the Cockfight with their mailman?

So, um, do you date ______ men?

So, um, do you date salami salami bologna men?

You know, they never gave me any _______.

You know, they never gave me any Tyler chicken

A crazy ________ is after you?

A crazy busboy is after you?

______ has always wanted to hold the balloon of Woody Woodpecker in the Macy's Thanksgiving parade.

Elmer Fudd always wanted to hold the balloon of Woody Woodpecker in the Macy's Thanksgiving parade.

Your friend here's a real piece of_______

Your friend here's a real piece of Tyler chicken.

George continues to lie to Mary Anne about ______.

George continues to lie to Mary Anne about everything.

Is there any ________ in your house?

Is there any big salad in your house?

George and I just signed up with the __________ volunteer agency.

George and I just signed up with the schizophrenic volunteer agency.

You're quite _____ you know

You're quite non-fat you know.

Pagliacci kills his ____.

Pagliacci kills his squirrel!

The airing of______

The airing of the Diplomat's Club

And, boy, were there a lot of _____ on that route.

And, boy, were there a lot of fornicating on that route.

Look at you with your_______

Look at you with your red dot.

You had sex with the cleaning woman on ______?

You had sex with the cleaning woman on quicksand?

___________ are only used for car accidents

Pinky toes are only used for car accidents.

I can't call a _____ with other people in the room.

I can't call a clown with other people in the room.

What's with the fake_______?

What's with the fake secret code?

I am not giving my ______ to anyone for any reason.

I am not giving my home bed advantage to anyone for any reason.

Short, devious, balding. his name was ________

Short, devious, balding; His name was Pig Man.

He was sleeping, and then he woke up and he looked at me and he made
this _______ sound.

He was sleeping, and then he woke up and he looked at me and he made
this waterfall sound.

_______ my friend, that's what happened to me

Insurance fraud, my friend, that's what happened to me.

You took your ______ off? For my hamstring.

You took your puffy shirt off? For my hamstring.

I got a _______, step on it buddy

You took your puffy shirt off? For my hamstring.

I got a _______, step on it buddy

I got a thumb, step on it buddy.

You sprayed him in the eyes with ______?

You sprayed him in the eyes with cloves of garlic?,

Tony says you better _____ off George

Tony says you better slicer off George.

It says here you worked at Play Now for 4 days. That should be ____.

It says here you worked at Play Now for 4 days. That should be slept!

Elaine is been chosen to represent the Upper West Side in the next _________

Elaine is been chosen to represent the Upper West Side in the next fresh fruit contest.

I'm Jerry Seinfeld. I tell jokes for a living...but there's no joking about the _______ crisis at PBS.

I'm Jerry Seinfeld. I tell jokes for a living...but there's no joking about the Tampax crisis at PBS

It should be based on who's the________

I'm Jerry Seinfeld. I tell jokes for a living...but there's no joking about the Tampax crisis at PBS

It should be based on who's the________

It should be based on who's the highest talker.

Audrey refuses to share a piece of ______.

Audrey refuses to share a piece of Tyler Chicken.

This _______, it's very schizophrenic

This little white dog, it's very schizophrenic.

You're afraid of Snowball? I'm afraid of _____ now.

You're afraid of Snowball? I'm afraid of a fat starving artist now.

I don't want your ______ down there

I don't want your candy bar down there.

______ is the heiress to the Oh Henry! candy bar fortune.

Snowball is the heiress to the Oh Henry! candy bar fortune

.Looking at cleavage is like looking at the________

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the big salad.

Did you happen to notice that Julie handed the big _____ to Elaine?

Did you happen to notice that Julie handed the big rubber pencil to Elaine?

His whole life revolves around Superman and ______

His whole life revolves around Superman and the Dream Café.

A steaming hot, ________ for your pleasure.

A steaming hot Dog for your pleasure

I'm the _______ of any guy you've ever met

I'm the wig master of any guy you've ever met.

Elaine tests positive for ______.

I'm the wig master of any guy you've ever met.

Elaine tests positive for ______.

Elaine tests positive for a hooker.

Do you need some help with that______?

Do you need some help with that salsa?

What's with all the butter? I'm ______ with it.

What's with all the butter? I'm comfortable with it.

Mrs Seinfeld I'm begging you put on the________

Mrs. Seinfeld, I'm begging you to put on the rat hat.

Growing up as a boy in Costa Rica, I heard a rumor that Mama had taken a _____.

Growing up as a boy in Costa Rica, I heard a rumor that Mama had taken a Clown.

What the hell I'll just eat some_______

What the hell I'll just eat some fusilli.


Makes your taste buds come alive. It's like having a _____ in your mouth.

What the hell I'll just eat some fusilli.


Makes your taste buds come alive. It's like having a _____ in your mouth.

Makes your taste buds come alive. It's like having a beer in your mouth.

I was in a ________ for 6 hours. Give me a break.

I was in an old Merv Griffin Show for 6 hours. Give me a break.

And it was his idea to put a sprig of ______ on the plate. You're making this up.
There was never a Joseph Garnish.

And it was his idea to put a sprig of garbage on the plate. You're making this up.
There was never a Joseph Garnish.

So what? Your______ are still lined up.

So what? Your underwater bubble cities are still lined up.


ELAINE: I had the roast _____.

ELAINE: I had the roast 3-legged dog.

George you're becoming one of the________

George, you're becoming one of the blond guys who are always on the Exercycle
at the health club.


Jimmy and George are gonna get ____.

George, you're becoming one of the blond guys who are always on the Exercycle
at the health club.


Jimmy and George are gonna get ____.

Jimmy and George are gonna get schizophrenic

.Oh, I can't wait to get a ________ and make my own pie

Oh, I can't wait to get a Mackinaw peach and make my own pie.

Kramer is eating a Mackinaw peach from ______.

Kramer is eating a Mackinaw peach from Botticelli's.

I told you God would never let me be________

I told you God would never let me be in the Yankee parking lot.

Jerry, George, this is Stan the ______.

I told you God would never let me be in the Yankee parking lot.

Jerry, George, this is Stan the ______.

Jerry, George, this is Stan the Frogger.

Oh, no. No, David. No, please. Not the________

Oh, no. No, David. No, please. Not the big salad.


I'll have a cup of ______ and a turkey club.

I'll have a cup of garlic and a turkey club.

You think if I jumped off this _______ I'd get hurt?

You think if I jumped off this pasta sculpture I'd get hurt?

Hey, they got a phone in the _____ here.

Hey, they got a phone in the wheelchair here.

He was a _______ starving artist

He was a Papaya King starving artist.

When I was 12, the whole family moved from _______to Sheepshead Bay.

When I was 12, the whole family moved from the zoo to Sheepshead Bay.

He likes to fly by the seat of his _______ pants.

He likes to fly by the seat of his puffy pants.

I'm gonna go to the concession stand to get some real _______.

I'm gonna go to the concession stand to get some real yellow popcorn.

My idiot son could open that ______ door

My idiot son could open that hinged panel door.

You're supposed to buy me dinner in a nice restaurant like _____.

My idiot son could open that hinged panel door.

You're supposed to buy me dinner in a nice restaurant like _____.

You're supposed to buy me dinner in a nice restaurant like fantasy camp

Yes I'm bald but I'm still a _____ person

Yes I'm bald, but I'm still a wild savage person.

I'm getting a hankering for some ______ gum.

I'm getting a hankering for some velvet gum.

__________are only used for car accidents

Blood banks are only used for car accidents.

The skin on the top, like when your mother used to make it on the _____.

The skin on the top, like when your mother used to make it on the air conditioner.

I'll loan you my puffy _____!

I'll loan you my puffy rat hat!

Kramer threw a giant sock of _____ at Todd.

Kramer threw a giant sock of garlic at Todd.

You know, your _______ the entire building.