I can't get into the Foundation.

Do you realize this is going to be on our _______ records?

Do you realize this is going to be on our phonograph records?

That's a pretty big _______ ball hanging out there.

That's a pretty big Beautiful Mercury ball hanging out there.

You know, my insurance doesn't even cover _____.

That's a pretty big Beautiful Mercury ball hanging out there.

You know, my insurance doesn't even cover _____.

You know, my insurance doesn't even cover Library books?

You think you can get _______?

You think you can get a monogram sewn onto it?

Are they publishing Kramer's __________ book?

You think you can get a monogram sewn onto it?

Are they publishing Kramer's __________ book?

Are they publishing Kramer's filthy book?

Okay from now on call me Jerry the_______

Okay from now on call me Jerry the busboy.

Do you not like ______ pie?

Do you not like halibut pie?

It's upscale clientele, except for ______

It's upscale clientele, except for the gloves in the glove compartment.

Could you mail those to me? Or bring them by my __________.

Could you mail those to me? Or bring them by my jurisdiction.

Well, munjamba. just joked yourself right out of that_______

Well, munjamba. just joked yourself right out of that 1989 Volvo sedan.

Mom and Pop can't afford to bring the ______ up to building code.

Well, munjamba. just joked yourself right out of that 1989 Volvo sedan.

Mom and Pop can't afford to bring the ______ up to building code.

Mom and Pop can't afford to bring the Tuscany up to building code.

They call him a _______

Mom and Pop can't afford to bring the Tuscany up to building code.

They call him a _______

They call him a Jerk store.

Oh, Jerry, this is a piece of _____.

They call him a Jerk store.

Oh, Jerry, this is a piece of _____.

Oh, Jerry, this is a piece of me.

Those aren't ________ balls.

Oh, Jerry, this is a piece of me.

Those aren't ________ balls.

Those aren't diggety-dog balls.

These agencies are usually a front for some ________ scheme.

Those aren't diggety-dog balls.

These agencies are usually a front for some ________ scheme.

These agencies are usually a front for some fat starving artist scheme.

I never met a man who knew so much about_______

These agencies are usually a front for some fat starving artist scheme.

I never met a man who knew so much about_______

I never met a man who knew so much about read during lunch.

We're stand-ins for the actors on ____________.

I never met a man who knew so much about reading during lunch.

We're stand-ins for the actors on ____________.

We're stand-ins for the actors on a show about nothing.

Would you rather date the blind or the_______

Would you rather date the blind or the Masai Bushmen?

No. I have never seen you eat a piece of pumpkin ______.

No. I have never seen you eat a piece of pumpkin trash.

Hey I've got a real thing about_______

Hey I've got a real thing about Del Boca Vista.

Susan thought we'd really get along. I guess because we're both ______.

Susan thought we'd really get along. I guess because we're both, Mojumbo

This ends the great _______ experiment

This ends the great red dot experiment.

Audrey has a rather large _____.

Audrey has a rather large pinkey toe.

You were having sex on our ______?

You were having sex on our Drake's coffee cake?!

He laughed so hard the other night we had to give him an extra shot of _______.

He laughed so hard the other night we had to give him an extra shot of Borax.

You know a ________ can be very filling

You know a Drake's coffee cake can be very filling.

I never had a back problem until that night I slept on the ________.

I never had a back problem until that night I slept on the quicksand

You told _____ to drop dead?!

You told Uncle Leo to drop dead?!

Thank God she spotted the ______ on my Norwegian ice-fishing vest.

Thank God she spotted the matzoh ball on my Norwegian ice-fishing vest.

I don't need any _______. It's a show about nothing.

I don't need any raisins. It's a show about nothing.

By the way, did you get a chance to read the ____?

By the way, did you get a chance to read the dojo?

_________, my friend, that's what happened to me

One-piece silver jumpsuit my friend, that's what happened to me.

If they had anything good, they'd put it in the ______.

If they had anything good, they'd put it in the frying pan.

Astonishing tales of the ______

Astonishing tales of the wedding invitations

I might have some boxes in our _________ in New Jersey.

I might have some boxes in our biosphere in New Jersey.

I think she finds ________ charming

I think she finds bananas charming.

Maybe I'll go down to the track, put it all on a _____.

Maybe I'll go down to the track, put it all on a mudder!

Oh yes he was not shy about ______

Oh yes he was not shy about the kiss hello.

You're constantly walking around with a ______.

You're constantly walking around with a apparatus.

What's the point of opening your mouth and going _______?

What's the point of opening your mouth and going yada yada yada?

Why is that a cake? You don't make ______ into a cake, I'm sorry.

Why is that a cake? You don't make manure into a cake, I'm sorry.

I am one clever_____

Why is that a cake? You don't make manure into a cake, I'm sorry.

I am one clever_____

I am one clever crazy clown.

You know the message you're sending with these ________?

You know the message you're sending with these Ziggy bed sheets?

That ______ dude is pretty cold, huh?

That pre-mousse dude is pretty cold, huh?


Tell me the truth, have you ever seen a better-looking _____?

Tell me the truth, have you ever seen a better-looking clown?

It will be just the three ______

It will be just the three Chinese women.

I'm hoping Campbell's comes out with an lV line of ______.

I'm hoping Campbell's comes out with an lV line of muffins.

Jerry! Instead of salmon he went with________

Jerry! Instead of salmon he went with trash. Garbage.

Well, do you wanna go out and go for a walk, get a cup of ______?

Well, do you wanna go out and go for a walk, get a cup off flouride

.Hey it ______ upside down

Well, do you wanna go out and go for a walk, get a cup off flouride

.Hey it ______ upside down

Hey it has a red dot upside down.

I'm the ______ one. El Clown-o.

I'm the superficia one. El Clown-o.

I come from a long line of _______

I come from a long line of decaf cappuccino drinkers.

By the way, Elaine does not need to know about ______.

By the way, Elaine does not need to know about Joy-Boy!

I wanted to _____ about how we had nothing to talk about

I wanted to yada yada about how we had nothing to talk about.

I'm a comedian of the ____________.

I'm a comedian of the Janitor's meeting.

You know, for a _______ guy you're not very jolly

You know, for a The Other Side of Darkness guy you're not very jolly.

George tells Reilly that he had sex with his _____.

George tells Reilly that he had sex with his fat bastard.

Oh, no. No, David. No, please. Not the_______

Oh, no. No, David. No, please. Not the apple pie!


Why does everything have to have a _____ component?

Why does everything have to have a anatomy component?

You're not artistic and you have no ______

You're not artistic and you have no extra ticket to the historical clothing exhibit at the Met.

Would I want to see what ______ wore to Lincoln's funeral?

Would I want to see what Schmoopie wore to Lincoln's funeral?

I sit around all day pretending I'm ________

Would I want to see what Schmoopie wore to Lincoln's funeral?

I sit around all day pretending I'm ________

I sit around all day pretending I'm Mary Todd Lincoln.

______ never liked Grandma Mema.

Superman never liked Grandma Mema.

Your misery is my_______

Your misery is my strawberry pie.

You got ______ hidden in the trunk?

You got Peat hidden in the trunk?

Clean as a _______. You could eat off that thing

Clean as a busboy. You could eat off that thing.

The Yankees are giving me three months' full pay for _________.

The Yankees are giving me three months' full pay for Yada, Yada

It's different for a man we're expected to be ________

It's different for a man, we're expected to be able to do 10 minutes on the StairMaster.

I happen to have a very keen ______ eye.

I happen to have a very keen medieval eye.

Guess your boyfriend'll have to catch the next_______

Guess your boyfriend'll have to catch the next Photo-store Sheila.

It's the timeless art of __________.

t's the timeless art of sexual favors.

_______ in a bowl could be a meal

Lobster in a bowl could be a meal.

She's brimming with __________.

She's brimming with bad details.

Cherish the ______

Cherish the clock tower.

Hey, Brecky, remind me to tell you what we ____ in Lake George.

Hey, Brecky, remind me to tell you what we discharged in Lake George


Or we could not do the ______ altogether, how about that?

Or we could not do the Tony awards altogether, how about that?

And the Tony for best musical is awarded to ________ Surprise.

And the Tony for best musical is awarded to festivus Surprise.

Would you rather date the blind or the _____

Would you rather date the blind or the people with ponies?

Kramer puts 100 dollars on a ______ game in Jerry's name with Mike.

Kramer puts 100 dollars on a fantacy game in Jerry's name with Mike.

His whole life revolves around _______ and cereal

His whole life revolves around the cabin and cereal.

A steaming hot, folded ______ for your pleasure.

A steaming hot, folded Blackhawks jacket for your pleasure.

The male body is utilitarian, it's for gettin' around, like a _______

The male body is utilitarian, it's for gettin' around, like a Peterman Reality Bus.

Alex goes wild for this hairless _____.

Alex goes wild for this hairless postal worker.

Are you on this _____

Are you on this little Army cot?

What about _____? That's a nice birthday gift.

What about Tampax? That's a nice birthday gift.

Yesterday I had a soft boiled egg and a________

Yesterday I had a soft boiled egg and a grape.

I dropped a _____ in the kitchen and it disappeared.

I dropped a apple pie in the kitchen and it disappeared.

This is the most ______ yet of my many humiliations.

This is the most comedic yet of my many humiliations.

The Tonight Show called and they want me to _______ on the 28th.

The Tonight Show called and they want me to pillage and plunder on the 28th.

I come from a long line of_______

I come from a long line of presidents of NBC.


I don't know who ______ these cheesy things.

I don't know who vomited these cheesy things

Hey I've got a real thing about _________

Hey I've got a real thing about non-pony countries.

I mean like a full, long beard, like ______ Brothers Cough Drops.

I mean like a full, long beard, like The Van Buren Brothers Cough Drops.

She's a seductress, she's a siren, she's a virgin, she's a______

She's a seductress, she's a siren, she's a virgin, she's a Chinese woman.

I can't stand doing laundry. That's why I have 40 ______.

I can't stand doing laundry. That's why I have 40 year supply.

Its like a stay of_______

It's like a stay of apartment-warming gift.

I can't stand Joe Mayo's _____.

I can't stand Joe Mayo's matzoh ball.

They're only comfortable with their_____

They're only comfortable with their Hampton tomatoes.

George gets revenge on Rachel by serving scrambled eggs made with _______.

George gets revenge on Rachel by serving scrambled eggs made with corkscrew pasta.

I think she finds my _________ charming

I think she finds my Bisquick charming.

She had this great black and white _____ with a scoop neck.

She had this great black and white cookie with a scoop neck.

We are friends of a serial______

We are friends of a serial Andrea Doria survivor.

Clarence Eldridge, in 8C has decided that he wants the ______.

Clarence Eldridge, in 8C has decided that he wants the toilet.

Oh you're afraid he might look like _______ the pinhead?

Oh you're afraid he might look like Big Brother the pinhead?

You gotta buy French _____.

You gotta buy French vintage pants.

You know you're getting to be an annoying little ______ yourself

You know you're getting to be an annoying little non-fat yogurt eater yourself.

I can't eat this without ______.

I can't eat this without some trash.

Are we just proud of _________ that comes out of us?

Are we just proud of any salty discharge that comes out of us?

If they had anything good, they'd put it in the ______.

If they had anything good, they'd put it in the Lumbar Yard.

No. I don't want you stretching out the _____ hole.

No. I don't want you stretching out the muffin hole.

Do they have to squeeze his head to get him to say "________"?

Do they have to squeeze his head to get him to say "Serenity now"?

Oh, he's a cute snugly _____.

Oh, he's a cute snugly dolt.

She practically ran the _______ into the ground.

She practically ran the Edmund Fitzgerald into the ground.

Oh, this is tantamount to a ______ in the face.

Oh, this is tantamount to a squirt of ketchup in the face.

And look what I pried off of his ______.

And look what I pried off of his face

Brother Costanzo will be taking the vow of _______

Brother Costanzo will be taking the vow of buying underwear.

My goal is to have over 360 ____.

My goal is to have over 360 Velvet underwear

.Mrs Seinfeld I'm begging you put on the________

Mrs. Seinfeld I'm begging you put on the raincoat.

_____ was on Murphy Brown?

Bozo the clown was on Murphy Brown?

I've got a good feeling about this______

I've got a good feeling about this Jodi Hirsch.

Her parents won't let her date anyone who isn't __________!

Her parents won't let her date anyone who isn't Kosher!

he __________ the little peep hole!

He put a loaf of crumbs in the little peep hole!

Why did I get the _____burger?

Why did I get the garlic burger?

So grab your _____ - if you need one. It's go-time

So grab your piece of cake if you need one. It's go-time.

Cynthia felt we should nuke the _______.

Cynthia felt we should nuke the entire building.

You know a _______ can be very filling

You know a mango can be very filling.

No, they always burn the _____.

No, they always burn the bridges.

George you're becoming one of the _______

George you're becoming one of the pig-men.


Myra and I would like you and Elaine to be ______.

Myra and I would like you and Elaine to be flaunting convention.

Is there a real ______ in the back?

Is there a real pig-man in the back?

I wanna hear more about that ______ collection, Aunt Rose.

I wanna hear more about that pasta collection, Aunt Rose.

Is this the suicide talk or the _______ talk?

Is this the suicide talk or the pig-man talk?

Why do presidents all have bad ______?

Why do presidents all have bad smelling.

I come from a long line of________

I come from a long line of chicken roasters.

I almost had my own _____ in Japan.

I almost had my own rickshaw in Japan.

This _______ stinks up the whole house

This pesto stinks up the whole house.

Sometimes you go to a restaurant, they put the check in a little _____.

Sometimes you go to a restaurant, they put the check in a little nest.

and she a coquettish ______

And she's a coquettish Mia Farrow.

These pretzels are making me _____.

These pretzels are making me kinda puffed up!

I have a lot of_________ with you people

I have a lot of monograms sewn into you people.

You said ______ was in financial trouble.

You said Chemical Bank was in financial trouble?

This ______ stinks up the whole house

This muffin top stinks up the whole house.

I was at Bloomingdale's, waiting for the ______ to heat up.

I was at Bloomingdale's, waiting for the Sanka to heat up.

I haven't heard anything about another ______

I haven't heard anything about another Krypton.

I talked about how my uncle worked in the book depository building with Lee _______.

I talked about how my uncle worked in the book depository building with Lee, the commie.

Hey salads got nuttin' on this _______

Hey salad's got nuttin' on this button.

Look, Kevin, I really like you but maybe we'd be better off just being _______.

Look, Kevin, I really like you but maybe we'd be better off just being Van Buren boys.

The perfect man -- nothing but sex and _______

The perfect man -- nothing but sex and muffin tops.

Everybody's moving to _______.

Everybody's moving to the fortress of solitude.

I've been smacking myself_______

I've been smacking myself and put a big plastic jug of Pepsi in the middle of the table.

You're ______ up there, bubble boy.

You're moussed up there, bubble boy

I don't like Mr. Newman. He is an ________

I don't like Mr. Newman. He is an intern from Francis Lewis High.


His name is Keith. He comes in Mondays after _____.

His name is Keith. He comes in Mondays after a soft boiled egg and a quickie.

I told you God would never let me be _________

I told you God would never let me be a banker.

I've known this guy since ______. He doesn't do drugs.

I've known this guy since fantasy camp. He doesn't do drugs.

Hey I've got a real thing about_______

Hey I've got a real thing about hairless dogs.

Kramer, I am so sick of you coming in here and eating all of my _____.

Kramer, I am so sick of you coming in here and eating all of my mutton.

_________ in a bowl could be a meal

Cream soda in a bowl could be a meal.

She lit this vanilla ______.

She lit this vanilla cookie

Not one house to rent in all of_______

Not one house to rent in all of Java World.

I'm going on vacation to _______.

I'm going on vacation to Bizzaro World.

Well it's not really like after the________

Well it's not really like after the good nap.

Gonna take a stroll through the _____.

Gonna take a stroll through the manure.

This ends the great _________ experiment

This ends the great Campbell's tomato intravenous experiment.

Stunned by _____?

Stunned by bra-less wonder

. But this time, advantage________

But this time, advantage Fragile Frankie Merman.

Every summer, you guys went to _____ together.

Every summer, you guys went to the Hamptons together.

Don't mess with the ______ buddy

Don't mess with the the jerk store buddy.

I'm gonna grab a can of _____.

I'm gonna grab a can of trash

She did a full body flex on a _____ jar."

She did a full body flex on a half pig, half man jar.

So was sacrificing _____ to appease the gods - but we don't do that anymore.

So was sacrificing genitals to appease the gods - but we don't do that anymore.

I've been trying to leave this ______ for 10 years. Vaya con dios.

I've been trying to leave this George's sanctuary for 10 years. Vaya con Dios.

Too many chicks know my _____.

Too many chicks know my B.O

.His whole life revolves around ________ and cereal

His whole life revolves around guest soaps and cereal.

Who put this _____ on the new table?

Who put this pickle jar on the new table?

I've been trying to leave this ______ for 10 years.

I've been trying to leave this place in Vermont I was telling you about for 10 years.

You better find that _____ before it mutates into another life form.

You better find that mutton before it mutates into another life form.

And now the search for the right ________ begins

And now the search for the right bus stop begins.

We just saw your boyfriend at a _______.

We just saw your boyfriend at a fantasy camp.

What's with the fake_______?

What's with the fake busboy?

Elaine is on her way back from Scandinavia with ______.

Elaine is on her way back from Scandinavia with Vegetable Lasagna, and a body bag.

You can smell me without the ______

You can smell me without the nose job.

I always have _____ on toast.

I always have pickle on toast.

Jerry Seinfeld. who I like to call; The ______

Jerry Seinfeld who I like to call The Nucleosis.

I'm like a _____ camel.

I'm like a virgin camel.

I'm the one responsible for those _____ circles.

I'm the one responsible for those Pakistani restaurant circles.

Pipe down, _____ boy.

Pipe down, funny boy.

Flashy, making the scene, flaunting ________

Flashy, making the scene, flaunting Lima bean soup.

Now, tell me about this _____ of yours.

Now, tell me about this pimple of yours

Anybody knows you got to keep your______ apart

Anybody knows you got to keep your pickle jars apart.

Peggy see Elaine and thinks she's ______.

Peggy see Elaine and thinks she's a Israel Commando.

I got rejected by a _______woman.

I got rejected by a a bulimic, chain-smoking woman.

______ is throwing a huge party at Tavern on the Green.

Boutros Boutros-Golly is throwing a huge party at Tavern on the Green

Yesterday I had a soft boiled egg and a________

Yesterday I had a soft boiled egg and a cappuccino.

Yeah, I wrote some jokes for the show and they gave me two ______.

Yeah, I wrote some jokes for the show and they gave me two fleas.

Do your thing where you ______ to everyone

Do your thing where you're selling coffee, bran muffins to everyone.

I saw him shoplifting at the ____store.

I saw him shoplifting at the porn store.

You think you can get _____?

You think you can get in the Hong Kong post office?

They have an intimate knowledge of the ______.

They have an intimate knowledge of the Pez dispenser.

I don't need any ideas. It's a show about______

I don't need any ideas. It's a show about a screen door in Queens.

It was called The Net, with that girl from the _____.

It was called The Net, with that girl from the porno!

Anybody knows you got to keep your _______ apart

Anybody knows you got to keep your baby's rooms apart.

Since when do you _____?

Since when do you Frogger

I probably can't hold a job or keep a ______

I probably can't hold a job or keep a dog.

I'm going for total efficiency and _____.

I'm going for total efficiency and sexual dalliance

I don't submit to forcible _______

I don't submit to forcible disappearing in a sea of people.

So write a letter and move to ________.

So write a letter and move to Tuscany.

Pez dispenser on her______

Pez dispenser on her pagoda

Hong Kong's outlawed the ______.

Hong Kong's outlawed the toilet!

Its like a stay of_______

It's like a stay of black olives.

A 48-pack of _____ waffles.

A 48-pack of fake waffles.

This _______stinks up the whole house

This Lima bean soup stinks up the whole house.

I will never understand the _____ in this country.

I will never understand the society in this country

.To a woman, sex is like the ________ man.

To a woman, sex is like the wig master man.

No. I have never seen you eat a piece of _____ pie.

No. I have never seen you eat a piece of Fusilli pie

It's the Urban Sombrero. I put it on the_______

It's the Urban Sombrero. I put it on the bald woman. :)

Get me one _____ drinker on that jury...

Get me one Heinekens drinker on that jury.

Not the ________ horse?

Not the cigar store horse?

To me, the worst thing is shopping for ______.

To me, the worst thing is shopping for Condom's.

I haven't heard anything about another _______

Student. But Mr Seinfled told me that_______________ and I couldnt believe it!

But Mr Seinfled told me we're out of Bosco! and I couldnt believe it!

Doctor Zeng Zau.has discovered a cure for________

Doctor Zeng Zau has discovered a cure for Soup Nazism.

How many years of ____ school did you have?

How many years of clown school did you have?

Yesterday I had a soft boiled egg and a _______

rasberry.... It tasted so good I ______________ afterwards :)

It tasted so good I puked afterwards.

Did I tell you this guy was _____?

Did I tell you this guy was the soul mate?

Why gnaw away like a mental patient when we have this ______ device?

Why gnaw away like a mental patient when we have this pain train device?

On this issue there is no _______

issue!!

Lets all discuss _________ and not get mad at each other for doing so...

Lets all discuss toilet and not get mad at each other for doing so.

That's a pretty big ______ ball hanging out there.

That's a pretty big ergonomic ball hanging out there.

I buy my _______ at an ergonomic store.

I buy my chicken at an ergonomic store.

Go ahead to your ______ meeting

Go ahead to your Big Stein meeting.

Big Stein wants a little _____.

Big Stein wants a little cigar.

you're afraid he might look like ______ the pinhead

You're afraid he might look like an eggplant calzone the pinhead.

Eggplant, huh? That's a ____ of a thing.

Eggplant, huh? That's a tempting schmear of a thing

.just get on with the stupid _______ story?

Just get on with the stupid man fur story?

Hey, that's Mr. Coffee to ____.

Hey, that's Mr. Coffee to mess with!

So, we're just a couple of ______ people?"