yeah that guy was awesome

"She had that northern accent, pretty bad"

That guy was great though because he was a crucial witness in finding Gail Delano, very helpful.


"My wife got tired of being poor and departed" I loved that line :talk:

You're thinking of the Jeffrey MacDonald case. MacDonald was an Army Special Forces officer stationed at Ft Bragg, NC. He was accused of murdering his wife and two daughters while they slept, was tried, convicted, and is now serving his sentence. It's a hotly debated case and there are many strong opinions on it--search this forum and you'll find a thread that stays pretty hot about it. That being said, MacDonald was featured on UM, in the third or fourth season, IIRC.

Wasn't this case also profiled on AMW?

"I think your ghost likes either sex" :D

This was from the James Donald King case (the man from North Carolina who murdered his first wife in the 60's, was freed on parole, remarried, and then murdered the second wife in 1988):
"Basically you don't want to get married to him, if you want to live." Brilliant advice! :lol:

And then this one was from an episode about a woman who gave birth at 15, and was looking for her long lost son. She wanted to find him not only because he was her birth son, but also because she discovered that she had a terminal illness. (I forget her name). Anyhow, when she discovered she was pregnant, she was at first so excited b/c she thought she would marry her boyfriend. But then the boyfriend came and broke it off with this winning line:

"EVERYONE knows you can't get pregnant when you have sex the first time!"

Granted I know that this story takes place in 1962, and I don't think there was any such thing as sex ed, but after watching it in the 1990's and 2000's, and of course having been through the requisite sex ed course as a teen, it just makes me roll my eyes. :rolleyes:

(whining) "I hate him!"

can anyone guess which segment this was from. it was kind of a background comment, so this might be a bit of a toughie.

"keep your mind on your job."

can anyone guess which segment this was from. it was kind of a background comment, so this might be a bit of a toughie.

"keep your mind on your job."

Rhonda Hinson.

Rhonda Hinson.

yes.

Great thread by the way :) ok can you guess this one?

'If your going to commit suicide, I guess, you jump into the river thinking, I dont wanna get my blockbuster video card WET?!

haha thought it was a good point and put so well lol sad case though still unsolved :(

"He looked at me like he was about to enjoy a large steak". From the Jim Burnside case. Probably mentioned but I thought it was hilarious

For me, it was basically anything uttered in the Sammy Wheeler episode. Patrick Wheeler saying "Co-in-sa-dence" like 3 times in a row was hilarious. Also, when the actor playing Pat Wheeler did his little dance after he found out his brother had been killed and started yelling and grabbed his gun. I know its a tragedy because someone died but that segment was freaking hilarious.

Robert Stack's the man! I grew up hearing that line on Wednesdays and Friday nights as a little kid. Can't imagine anyone else able to live up to that voice.An incredible narrator and great actor- the first actor who played Elliot Ness on TV's "The Untouchables". Love the avatar by the way.

I can't do better than Robert Stack's trademark line (or any of its variations): "For every mystery there is someone somewhere who knows the truth. Perhaps it's you."

Robert Stack's the man! I grew up hearing that line on Wednesdays and Friday nights as a little kid. Can't imagine anyone else able to live up to that voice.An incredible narrator and great actor- the first actor who played Elliot Ness on TV's "The Untouchables". Love the Dr. Savage avatar by the way.

"Hollywood California, the dream factory"

This was in the Crystal SPencer episode and it makes me laugh a little when I hear RS say it for some reason.

"He turned out to be the WORST friend she could have ever made"- such a sad crime. I was around 13 when I first saw that case and it has always stuck with me.

"You know what I'm sayin'?"

"He had come to and was saying 'Theresa, don't leave me here.' And there wasn't anything I could do." The Stamper case is so eerie, even if I think the pulling over on the highway scene wasn't done so well (the tv movie they made about the case did it better, enough to make me jump when Stamper came to the window).

(paraphrasing) "Or maybe he was drawn to the romantic lure of the carnival."

Jeanne Tovrea case: "She was my friend, she was my sister, she was MINE, and she didn't deserve to die."

"We was frens, we was sulstahs...."

"He turned out to be the WORST friend she could have ever made"

:(

"We was frens, we was sulstahs...."


Oh my GOD! I can actually hear this in my head, right now! Which one was this?

Oh my GOD! I can actually hear this in my head, right now! Which one was this?

Rebecca Young's aunt. The context in which it was said wasn't funny at all, but I have to admit I've rewound my DVD multiple times to listen to that bit.

"I think children always feel as though nothing can happen to them. And when they lose someone who was so close to them, it brought it home. Life isn't always fair. You have to be extra careful and sometimes even when you're extra careful, it doesn't matter. This cannot go unpunished. This can't be a situation where this person gets away. And the children have got to know that. If it's important for us, it's even more important for them."

:( I never forgot that quote.

Watched this one again today:

"I thought they were gonna pull an Easy Rider on me, kick me in the head and be done with it." :(

Robert Stack's last lines from the UM New York City coin scam segment:
If you are approached by one of these con artists, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE do NOT buy these coins!
He sounds downright exasperated here!

My favourite is always when RS uses some of his adjectives to describe the crimes or crime scenes. Like:

"a brOOtal murder", or "a grisly discovery" or "an eerie scene".

But the first two are the most common: and the ones I love the most.

My favorite Stack line by far is

"It wasn't long before the Nelson's posted bail and as predictable as the sunrise they skipped town"


:lol:

From the Alan Mann ghost segment:

"I thought I was livin widda bunch a' flakes."

OK, it's time to play "Name That Funny Part of a Segment"!

Does anybody remember this? I have not seen it in over 15 years and do not know if it ever aired on Lifetime:

A murder was committed somewhere in the southern U.S. The victim (a woman, I believe) was killed in a second floor apartment of a duplex. The murderer used a metal gas can to soak the body, and left a trail of gas that went nearly to the door of the apartment. After the fire was extinguished, a couple of local policemen examined the scene. The gas can was immediately discovered. The cop who found it called his partner over to take a closer look. The other cop found evidence on the bottom of the can. Cop 1 says, "What's that?". The other cop says, "A bloody fingerprint!". Due to the southern accentuation, it came out as "fayngerpraint". I can't remember the case despite seeing it three times on NBC.

(BTW, I'm Canadian. I've lived in the States, so it's my turn to throw accentuation humor back at my American friends! Damn this political correctness that demands the employment of this disclaimer!:) )

"I can take this picture...but he'll shoot me.....but I can take this picture...but he'll shoot me...but I can take this picture...but he'll shoot me."

OK, it's time to play "Name That Funny Part of a Segment"!

Does anybody remember this? I have not seen it in over 15 years and do not know if it ever aired on Lifetime:

A murder was committed somewhere in the southern U.S. The victim (a woman, I believe) was killed in a second floor apartment of a duplex. The murderer used a metal gas can to soak the body, and left a trail of gas that went nearly to the door of the apartment. After the fire was extinguished, a couple of local policemen examined the scene. The gas can was immediately discovered. The cop who found it called his partner over to take a closer look. The other cop found evidence on the bottom of the can. Cop 1 says, "What's that?". The other cop says, "A bloody fingerprint!". Due to the southern accentuation, it came out as "fayngerpraint". I can't remember the case despite seeing it three times on NBC.

(BTW, I'm Canadian. I've lived in the States, so it's my turn to throw accentuation humor back at my American friends! Damn this political correctness that demands the employment of this disclaimer!:) )

Cheryl Holland. I'm originally from that part of the country--45 minutes from where that murder was committed in fact, and it sounds like "fayngerpraint" when it comes out of my mouth, too. :lol:


Can anyone guess this one?

"What it is, bro!"

"What it were!"

"Cheaper, but will do..."

Can anyone guess this one?

"What it is, bro!"

"What it were!"

Hugh Harlan! :lol:

"Cheaper, but will do..."
The Whackers! :D

"Hedge. Like the bush."

"Hedge. Like the bush."

Jamie Santos. Super creepy case.

"I love ya, Callie!"

In the Padre Pio segment, Vera Marie Calandra's mother keeps saying "my sick daughter" this, and "my sick daughter that," and she says the words so quickly after each other that, to me at least, it sounds like she's saying "sickdaughter" as if it were one word.

I know this isn't really funny, but I've always loved Robert Stack's way with words, and one of the lines that always sort of makes me laugh is at the beginning of the Jon Maggio segment where Stack says: "Brent Trauth suddenly found himself on the wrong end of a gun."

Henry Rollins, in the Joe Cole segment: "One minute you're walking home from the 90 MILLIONTH trip to the grocery store, and the next it's two guns in your face" and "justice only seems to favor certain minorities, but real justice is a pretty righteous thing and I'd like to see some here."

Robert Stack, in the Salvatore Spinnato segment: "The true him was found stuffed in some boxes in the basement."

Robert Stack, in the Charles Wickman segment: "He usually lies about his age."

Prowler in Sarah Powell segment, after she tries to sneak a glance at him: "You just had to look at me, didn't you?"

Robert Stack, in an armored car robbery segment from around 1991: "The robbers got away scot-free. They also got away with absolutely no money."

Guy called "Sunshine" in Michele Donahoe West segment: "Sounds like Tiny Feet's been callin' the hogs." Response from guy called "Tiny Feet": 'Scuse me, but Tiny Feet does not snore, thank you very much."

Dr. Cyril Wecht, in the Michelle Witherall segment: "The body doesn't bounce."

Stephanie Booker (girl injured in hit and run boat accident): "It felt like there was dough hanging off of my face."

Psychic on train in Robert Dirscherl segment: "Fran?"
Fran (startled): "Why, uh, yes."

Robert Stack, in Countess Marie Louise Von Costell segment: With the investors worried, the countess felt she had no choice but to walk away. What she did not mention was that she was walking away with THEIR money."

Cecil Truschell (interviewee from Gertrude Prewitt segment): "I really did start to become pretty fond of those fruitcakes after a while."

I wish I could remember the exact quote, but it was something like...

"she walked around all the time talking on her phone and you just don't see that very often."

"I saw this girl walking around the mall today, and no matter how hard I looked, she didn't appear to have any type of mobile communication device on her person. How often does that happen nowadays?" Oh, the irony of it all.

Did Zel Losef pass away?

Zel Loseff died on May 7th, 2010 at the age of 101.

"They posted a guard outside of Todd Mueller's bed, but it didn't do a bit of good. To this day, no one knows how he escaped."

"He was big, with long hair, and wore a Megadeth t-shirt..." :lol:

I have perused this entire thread, and I am almost certain that none of the following quotes have been posted:

In the Lizzie Borden case, Stack says that Lizzie's parents were "brutally hacked to death." I just thought it was funny how he said that with such a Stoic, emotionless voice.

The Falcon Lake UFO! Stephen Michalak was awesome. He had a great accent and some of the funniest quotes I've ever heard on Unsolved Mysteries. "Looking up at the trees, I seen two cigarette-like shaped tings... with a HUMP in the middle... I said, 'What the Hell is that?'"

Then there's the fact that he thought the UFO was a experimental aircraft from the U.S. so he was yelling out, "Yankee boys! You have trouble? I'll halp you!" LOL

Then the simple, "I love nature. I love BIRDS." Another great 'Michalakian' (my friend and I coined that term) quote is, "And then I said, 'Now is the time for me to... buzz off from here. Go out.' So I started going." LOL

How about the Tallman's Ghost story where the friend (or was it a family relative?) spent the night and screamed like a banshee when the ghost appeared?

Don Devereux is also a good source of quotes. "In all my years as a journalist, I've never seen a fellow take himself out into the middle of the desert wearing a bullet-proof vest and shooting himself in the back of the head."

Plus the defiant: "And certainly if there are people in the government who are aware of this sort of thing and disapprove of it, then they DAMN WELL should get off their butts and do something about it."

Robert Stack's last lines from the UM New York City coin scam segment:
If you are approached by one of these con artists, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE do NOT buy these coins!
He sounds downright exasperated here!

I LOVE that line. :lol:

"..Tina made some remark about he's going to live to regret the day he picked this man up."

"I’ve always felt that your home is your castle, and what you do in your home is your business. But when they bring their drugs out in front of my house in the streets, that makes it my business. And I don’t do that kind of business."

"The letter I got said, 'If you are reading this, I am dead.'"

^ that segment is the motherlode of funny quotes. I love Stack's: "Danny had an airtight alibi ... he was out bar hopping all night." And Danny, whooo ... that guy needed to make a career out of Unsolved Mysteries. Along with "Michael Jordan" and his odd pronunciation of "CO-INC-I-DENCE" he had such winners as "I never found her attractive, even before my brother got with her"

haha I just watched this one.... and I agree...:happyface

I just went through the whole thread. I don't think the segments featuring the following quotes mentioned here over the years were ever revealed. Some of these are so familiar to me that I should definitely be able to identify them, but I can't. Anyone know which ones they're from?

EDITED to add the answers as you folks come up with them. Answers are [In Brackets] and I put all the ones we don't yet have segment names for in post #558.

1 -I know where it happened and I know how it happened. But I don't know WHY it happened. [Norman Ladner] [Also stated in the North Carolina hit-and-run case. They were the closing words of the segment, spoken by victim Ken Dungee's brother.] [And, it's also a similar quote to what was said by Huey Littleton in the Ellenders murder segment.]

2 - He ignored his usual late night feast.

3 - You didn't let me down. he keeps telling me over and over you didn't let me down. (Possibly from a psychic segment where the psychic claims to communicate with the dead. Either George Anderson or James Van Pragh. The psychic was doing a "reading" and told a family that their deceased loved one (son?) was saying this. Can I get a confirmation on this one? thanks! )

4 - Wanna see my icepick? [Helena Stokely in the reenactment of the Jeffrey MacDonald Family murders.]

5 - No one knows exactly how or when Johnston died, except perhaps, just perhaps, Bruce Kelly.

6 - The valley is home to upscale professionals (Possibly the Roger Dean segment?)

7 - My name is Carl and you are coming with me. [John Grundhofer]

8 - Chuck is alright. Ecclesiastic 12, 1 thru 8.

9 - Say Mike do you have ESP? [Michael Lloyd Self]

10 - Will you come with me Mama? (Could be John Purvis asking his mom to go to the police station with him.)

11 - They have not come up with that word yet, once they do I will call you and let you know

12 - "It was good to meet again, we all took some polaroids together. (One of the lost loves, family reunion segments?)

13 - "You can call me Daddy Nickles, Daddy Nickles.

14 - We found a new home for ________, except there is one problem they do not speak english.

15 - Give me a kiss. But I am your son. [Adam Hecht case, when Tony was trying to convince Adam's mom that he was her son.] Not sure about the "give me a kiss" part yet.

16 - It was a sedative, we had fun. [Rapsit, Dr. Kenneth Frank to one of his victims.]

17 - Hi, I'm Marty, You must be theives. [Quote is from an LA detective to a pedophile he arrested for soliciting kids online. From a mid-nineties segment on computer crime.]

18 - Don't move.....don't make any noise, OK?

19 - The genius of the cryptograms, first of all he laid them out like works of art. (Zodiac?)

20 - I have powers you don't. [Donnie Decker, aka Rainboy]

21 - You can read your article later, do the pants! [David Harry Fisher to his wife after he murdered Laura Leigh Burbank and disposed of her body. He wanted the clothes he had worn that day washed as he was trying to destroy evidence.]

22 - Mom, can I have a dollar for lunch?

23 - Looks like we have a winner here. [Philip Frazer]

24 - I can take this picture...but he'll shoot me.....but I can take this picture...but he'll shoot me...but I can take this picture...but he'll shoot me. [The reporter who snapped a pic of a perp as they were both driving down the road. Forgot the names.]

25 - He turned out to be the WORST friend she could have ever made. [Laura Burbank]

26 - Ain't nobody runnin' my house...but ME! [Larry George]

27 - We're gonna try to keep you out of this, but your buddy's goin' to jail. [Kevin Poulson]

28 - Let's just get the car TAH-morrow....man, Tracy's gonna be maaad at me! [Tracy Wofford case.]

29 - I'm in Wiscasset. Where are you? [Gayle Delano]

30 - He was reliable to the point that you could set your watch by him. [Norman Ladner and possibly the Howard Drummond case.]

31 - I think children always feel as though nothing can happen to them. And when they lose someone who was so close to them, it brought it home. Life isn't always fair. You have to be extra careful and sometimes even when you're extra careful, it doesn't matter. This cannot go unpunished. This can't be a situation where this person gets away. And the children have got to know that. If it's important for us, it's even more important for them. [Lisa Ziegert]

32 - Sit down. Have a coffee. [Philip Frazer]

33 - They told me there was nothing back there that would bother you and just go on about your business. Don't tell anybody what you were doing and everything would be fine. [Dave Bocks]

34 - And to this day, I still don't know what 'it' is. [Blair Adams]

35 - It came as a surprise to me. it wasn't planned, it wasn't discussed. I conceived my son that day. [Could be Judy Olive discussing how her son was conceived on her date with that cult leader named Ulysses.]

36 - What gives him the right, the arrogance to say that he believes something when there's no evidence of it? [Dr. John Branion's response to the prosecutor's belief that Branion hired someone to murder his wife.]

37 - Go wax your wheelchair.

38 - I'm going to rob you and then I am going to kill you. [Blind River Rest Stop, Gordon and Jackie McAllister]

39 - The thought had went through my head a thousand million times. [Gary Grant, Jr.'s father speaking about his son's murder.]

40 -At least call somebody. [Christie Nichols]

41 - We still your family. We still he'p ya and my phone number's the same. [Cheryl Holland]

42 - Which is equal to a jack hammer and an air compressor running. I don't think no one can sleep through that kind of noise. [Boys on the Tracks, Kevin Ives and Don Henry]

43 - The Rotund Conman's garb of choice is a designer sweatsuit," Spoken by Robert Stack (Fumbles the bank robber? Or the guy who wobbled away from crimes on his bicycle?)

44 - When are you going to learn that you're never getting out of there? When we set 'em up, they stay set up. [Circleville writer]

45 - And for starters, they said they'd burn down my garage, my repair shop. [Ron Picard, Doreen's father, speaking about threats made towards him in anonymous phone calls. From the Doreen Picard/Susan LeFerte segment.]

46 - About a missing son: It's the kid, I was really attached to the kid. [Gilbert Ortiz, regarding his kidnapped son Johnathon?]

47 - You see I live a horrible life since he has been missing, I never gave em up.

48 - Or it could have been an eloborate hoax concocted by a professional huckster. [Iceman]

49 - You idiot! What do you think you're doin? [Stanley Gryziek]

50 - I ain't know nothin' 'bout the truck. But I know that he did not have no beer in the truck and he did not throw no gun out the truck because there wasn't no gun in the truck. [Andre Jones segment, quote from the girlfriend]

51 - I don't cry as much as I use to. (Is this one of the parents of a missing or murdered family member?)

52 - I've got some GOOD news and some BAD news - you guys are all under arrest! [Reverse Sting Operation, Detective Bruce Hacker]

53 - What? He aint home yet?

54 - All I could do was say why and who. (Just realized this is DIFFERENT from #1.) [Eric and Pam Ellender murders]

55 - Dead men don't drive a car

56 - I think there was something in the drink because I lost all sense of inhibition and I knew it couldn't have come from just one pina colada. [Judy Olive commenting on the night she "joined psychic centers" with that cult leader.]

57 - We were the three musketeers [Always, Karen]

58 - Are you gonna arrest her or not?" Cop's reply, "Don't tell me how to do my job!

59 - I didn't rape you. [Kenneth Frank]

60 - Uncle Bob fell in the water! [Bob Arcieri, suspected of faking his drowning death to avoid sentencing for criminal convictions.]

61 - I hope this doesn't hurt your feelings but I have really sensitive skin...can you shave? [Segment about con women who drug and rob men they pick up in hotel bars. Late 90s segment, not the one with Karl Malden.]

62 - The car to me, that has to be a phony scene [Kurt McFall]

63 - I was so happy I wanted to scream, but I was afraid if I did they would lock me up.

64 - We are not that type of people, we have lived in this community our whole lives. [Paul Pollis]

65 - Danny!! Danny!! This is not going to help!

66 - Dad's inside, and he's got his belt off. And, he wants you to get inside. [Sharon Stevens and foster parents Zelinsky segment]

67 - Busy place in the old days

68 - A Chevelle...looks blue....'70 model, I believe. Looks like the front end of it's been messed up. It's in primer. The primer is grey. [Rhonda Hinson]

69 - I didn't tell anyone, because I was scared. Then I thought, it's a crime. [Rebecca Young]

70 - Now there was no reason for you to upset Ida like that. That was totally uncalled for! [Wendy Camp segment]

71 - Oh no, I said, not her. She loved her daddy SO much and I knew she had not run off. [Roxanne Woodson's mother from the Joe Sheppard segment.]

72 - The people who did this murder obviously do not want this to be solved. [Roger Wheeler Jr. commenting on his father's murder (Jai Lai case) from the first special narrated by Raymond Burr.]

73 - I just asked him how long he was going to be there and he said indefinitely, and I just dropped him off and I thought that was kind of strange. Did he say when he'd be back?" "No!" [George Owens]

74 - Authority figure: "Can you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 3, 1974 at the powder magazine." ---Inmate: "I, uh, (cough) excuse me." ---Authority figure: Any imate that offers to reveal information usually has some type of ulterior motive. (Was this the one where the boys were locked inside that hut thingie that they used to play in, and then it was set on fire?) [Scott Johnson]

I just went through the whole thread. I don't think the segments featuring the following quotes mentioned here over the years were ever revealed. Some of these are so familiar to me that I should definitely be able to identify them, but I can't. Anyone know which ones they're from?

1 -I know where it happened and I know how it happened. But I don't know WHY it happened.

2 - He ignored his usual late night feast.

3 - You didn't let me down. he keeps telling me over and over you didn't let me down.

4 - Wanna see my icepick? (Is this Ed Kemper?)

5 - No one knows exactly how or when Johnston died, except perhaps, just perhaps, Bruce Kelly.

6 - The valley is home to upscale professionals (The valley? as in the "like omg, gag me with a spoon", "that is so bitchin", "totally grody to the max" and "like, whatevar!" valley?)

7 - My name is Carl and you are coming with me.

8 - Chuck is alright. Ecclesiastic 12, 1 thru 8.

9 - Say Mike do you have ESP?

10 - Will you come with me Mama?

11 - They have not come up with that word yet, once they do I will call you and let you know

12 - "It was good to meet again, we all took some polaroids together. (One of the lost loves, family reunion segments?)

13 - "You can call me Daddy Nickles, Daddy Nickles.

14 - We found a new home for ________, except there is one problem they do not speak english.

15 - Give me a kiss. But I am your son. (It this what it sounds like? Gah! The only thing I can think of is Sante and Kenny Kimes.)

16 - It was a sedative, we had fun.

17 - Hi, I'm Marty, You must be theives

18 - Don't move.....don't make any noise, OK?

19 - The genius of the cryptograms, first of all he laid them out like works of art. (Zodiac?)

20 - I have powers you don't.

21 - You can read your article later, do the pants!

22 - Mom, can I have a dollar for lunch?

23 - Looks like we have a winner here.

24 - I can take this picture...but he'll shoot me.....but I can take this picture...but he'll shoot me...but I can take this picture...but he'll shoot me. (The reporter who snapped a pic of a perp as they were both driving down the road?)

25 - He turned out to be the WORST friend she could have ever made

26 - Ain't nobody runnin' my house...but ME!

27 - We're gonna try to keep you out of this, but your buddy's goin' to jail.

28 - Let's just get the car TAH-morrow....man, Tracy's gonna be maaad at me!

29 - I'm in Wiscasset. Where are you?

30 - He was reliable to the point that you could set your watch by him.

31 - I think children always feel as though nothing can happen to them. And when they lose someone who was so close to them, it brought it home. Life isn't always fair. You have to be extra careful and sometimes even when you're extra careful, it doesn't matter. This cannot go unpunished. This can't be a situation where this person gets away. And the children have got to know that. If it's important for us, it's even more important for them.

32 - Sit down. Have a coffee.

33 - They told me there was nothing back there that would bother you and just go on about your business. Don't tell anybody what you were doing and everything would be fine.

34 - And to this day, I still don't know what 'it' is.

35 - It came as a surprise to me. it wasn't planned, it wasn't discussed. I conceived my son that day. (Um, well that's sure a big dose of TMI.)

36 - What gives him the right, the arrogance to say that he believes something when there's no evidence of it?

37 - Go wax your wheelchair.

38 - I'm going to rob you and then I am going to kill you.

39 - The thought had went through my head a thousand million times.

40 -At least call somebody.

41 - We still your family. We still he'p ya and my phone number's the same.

42 - Which is equal to a jack hammer and an air compressor running. I don't think no one can sleep through that kind of noise.

43 - The Rotund Conman's garb of choice is a designer sweatsuit," Spoken by Robert Stack (Fumbles the bank robber? Or the guy who wobbled away from crimes on his bicycle?)

44 - When are you going to learn that you're never getting out of there? When we set 'em up, they stay set up.

45 - And for starters, they said they'd burn down my garage, my repair shop.

46 - About a missing son: It's the kid, I was really attached to the kid.

47 - You see I live a horrible life since he has been missing, I never gave em up.

48 - Or it could have been an eloborate hoax concocted by a professional huckster.

49 - You idiot! What do you think you're doin?

50 - I ain't know nothin' 'bout the truck. But I know that he did not have no beer in the truck and he did not throw no gun out the truck because there wasn't no gun in the truck.

51 - I don't cry as much as I use to. (Is this one of the parents of a missing or murdered family member?)

52 - I've got some GOOD news and some BAD news - you guys are all under arrest!

53 - What? He aint home yet?

54 - All I could do was say why and who.

55 - Dead men don't drive a car

56 - I think there was something in the drink because I lost all sense of inhibition and I knew it couldn't have come from just one pina colada.

57 - We were the three musketeers

58 - Are you gonna arrest her or not?" Cop's reply, "Don't tell me how to do my job!

59 - I didn't rape you.

60 - Uncle Bob fell in the water!

61 - I hope this doesn't hurt your feelings but I have really sensitive skin...can you shave?

62 - The car to me, that has to be a phony scene

63 - I was so happy I wanted to scream, but I was afraid if I did they would lock me up.

64 - We are not that type of people, we have lived in this community our whole lives.

65 - Danny!! Danny!! This is not going to help!

66 - Dad's inside, and he's got his belt off. And, he wants you to get inside

67 - Busy place in the old days

68 - A Chevelle...looks blue....'70 model, I believe. Looks like the front end of it's been messed up. It's in primer. The primer is grey.

69 - I didn't tell anyone, because I was scared. Then I thought, it's a crime.

70 - Now there was no reason for you to upset Ida like that. That was totally uncalled for!

71 - Oh no, I said, not her. She loved her daddy SO much and I knew she had not run off.

72 - The people who did this murder obviously do not want this to be solved. (What murder was Capitan Obvious talking about here?)

73 - I just asked him how long he was going to be there and he said indefinitely, and I just dropped him off and I thought that was kind of strange. Did he say when he'd be back?" "No!"

74 - Authority figure: "Can you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 3, 1974 at the powder magazine."

Inmate: "I, uh, (cough) excuse me."

Authority figure: Any imate that offers to reveal information usually has some type of ulterior motive.




Good stuff - I can only contribute minimally -

28. Tracy Wofford
44. Circleville Writer
57. Always, Karen

cool, thanks for the info! I'm going to update my list. :O)

I just went through the whole thread. I don't think the segments featuring the following quotes mentioned here over the years were ever revealed. Some of these are so familiar to me that I should definitely be able to identify them, but I can't. Anyone know which ones they're from?

EDITED to add the answers as you folks come up with them. Answers are [In Brackets].

1 -I know where it happened and I know how it happened. But I don't know WHY it happened.

2 - He ignored his usual late night feast.

3 - You didn't let me down. he keeps telling me over and over you didn't let me down.

4 - Wanna see my icepick? (Is this Ed Kemper?)

5 - No one knows exactly how or when Johnston died, except perhaps, just perhaps, Bruce Kelly.

6 - The valley is home to upscale professionals (The valley? as in the "like omg, gag me with a spoon", "that is so bitchin", "totally grody to the max" and "like, whatevar!" valley?)

7 - My name is Carl and you are coming with me.

8 - Chuck is alright. Ecclesiastic 12, 1 thru 8.

9 - Say Mike do you have ESP?

10 - Will you come with me Mama?

11 - They have not come up with that word yet, once they do I will call you and let you know

12 - "It was good to meet again, we all took some polaroids together. (One of the lost loves, family reunion segments?)

13 - "You can call me Daddy Nickles, Daddy Nickles.

14 - We found a new home for ________, except there is one problem they do not speak english.

15 - Give me a kiss. But I am your son. (It this what it sounds like? Gah! The only thing I can think of is Sante and Kenny Kimes.)

16 - It was a sedative, we had fun.

17 - Hi, I'm Marty, You must be theives

18 - Don't move.....don't make any noise, OK?

19 - The genius of the cryptograms, first of all he laid them out like works of art. (Zodiac?)

20 - I have powers you don't.

21 - You can read your article later, do the pants!

22 - Mom, can I have a dollar for lunch?

23 - Looks like we have a winner here.

24 - I can take this picture...but he'll shoot me.....but I can take this picture...but he'll shoot me...but I can take this picture...but he'll shoot me. (The reporter who snapped a pic of a perp as they were both driving down the road?)

25 - He turned out to be the WORST friend she could have ever made

26 - Ain't nobody runnin' my house...but ME!

27 - We're gonna try to keep you out of this, but your buddy's goin' to jail.

28 - Let's just get the car TAH-morrow....man, Tracy's gonna be maaad at me! [Tracy Wofford case.]

29 - I'm in Wiscasset. Where are you?

30 - He was reliable to the point that you could set your watch by him.

31 - I think children always feel as though nothing can happen to them. And when they lose someone who was so close to them, it brought it home. Life isn't always fair. You have to be extra careful and sometimes even when you're extra careful, it doesn't matter. This cannot go unpunished. This can't be a situation where this person gets away. And the children have got to know that. If it's important for us, it's even more important for them.

32 - Sit down. Have a coffee.

33 - They told me there was nothing back there that would bother you and just go on about your business. Don't tell anybody what you were doing and everything would be fine.

34 - And to this day, I still don't know what 'it' is.

35 - It came as a surprise to me. it wasn't planned, it wasn't discussed. I conceived my son that day. (Um, well that's sure a big dose of TMI.)

36 - What gives him the right, the arrogance to say that he believes something when there's no evidence of it?

37 - Go wax your wheelchair.

38 - I'm going to rob you and then I am going to kill you.

39 - The thought had went through my head a thousand million times.

40 -At least call somebody.

41 - We still your family. We still he'p ya and my phone number's the same.

42 - Which is equal to a jack hammer and an air compressor running. I don't think no one can sleep through that kind of noise.

43 - The Rotund Conman's garb of choice is a designer sweatsuit," Spoken by Robert Stack (Fumbles the bank robber? Or the guy who wobbled away from crimes on his bicycle?)

44 - When are you going to learn that you're never getting out of there? When we set 'em up, they stay set up. [Circleville writer]

45 - And for starters, they said they'd burn down my garage, my repair shop.

46 - About a missing son: It's the kid, I was really attached to the kid.

47 - You see I live a horrible life since he has been missing, I never gave em up.

48 - Or it could have been an eloborate hoax concocted by a professional huckster.

49 - You idiot! What do you think you're doin?

50 - I ain't know nothin' 'bout the truck. But I know that he did not have no beer in the truck and he did not throw no gun out the truck because there wasn't no gun in the truck.

51 - I don't cry as much as I use to. (Is this one of the parents of a missing or murdered family member?)

52 - I've got some GOOD news and some BAD news - you guys are all under arrest!

53 - What? He aint home yet?

54 - All I could do was say why and who. [DISREGARD, same as #1]

55 - Dead men don't drive a car

56 - I think there was something in the drink because I lost all sense of inhibition and I knew it couldn't have come from just one pina colada.

57 - We were the three musketeers [Always, Karen]

58 - Are you gonna arrest her or not?" Cop's reply, "Don't tell me how to do my job!

59 - I didn't rape you.

60 - Uncle Bob fell in the water!

61 - I hope this doesn't hurt your feelings but I have really sensitive skin...can you shave?

62 - The car to me, that has to be a phony scene

63 - I was so happy I wanted to scream, but I was afraid if I did they would lock me up.

64 - We are not that type of people, we have lived in this community our whole lives.

65 - Danny!! Danny!! This is not going to help!

66 - Dad's inside, and he's got his belt off. And, he wants you to get inside

67 - Busy place in the old days

68 - A Chevelle...looks blue....'70 model, I believe. Looks like the front end of it's been messed up. It's in primer. The primer is grey.

69 - I didn't tell anyone, because I was scared. Then I thought, it's a crime.

70 - Now there was no reason for you to upset Ida like that. That was totally uncalled for!

71 - Oh no, I said, not her. She loved her daddy SO much and I knew she had not run off.

72 - The people who did this murder obviously do not want this to be solved. (What murder was Capitan Obvious talking about here?)

73 - I just asked him how long he was going to be there and he said indefinitely, and I just dropped him off and I thought that was kind of strange. Did he say when he'd be back?" "No!"

74 - Authority figure: "Can you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 3, 1974 at the powder magazine."

Inmate: "I, uh, (cough) excuse me."

Authority figure: Any imate that offers to reveal information usually has some type of ulterior motive.

7. John Grundhofer
23. Philip Frazer
24. Yes.
26. Larry George
27. Kevin Poulsen
29. Gayle Delano
30. Norman Ladner
32. Philip Frazer
33. Dave Bocks
34. Blair Adams
38. Blind River rest stop
40. Christi Nichols
41. Cheryl Holland
42. Kevin Ives/Don Henry
49. Stanley Gryziec
59. Kenneth Frank
62. Kurt McFall
64. Paul Pollis
68. Rhonda Hinson
69. Rebecca Young
73. George Owens

15--Adam Hecht. This was said by Tony to Hecht's mother, but only the "I am your son" part.

30--Something similar was said in the Howard Drummond segment.

48--This sounds like it was from the Iceman segment.

66--Sharon Stevens/Zelinskis.

Big thanks to Meg and Goo! I updated again. :)

45. Doreen Picard/Susan Laferte
74. Scott Johnson

I'm 99.9% sure the very first one is from the Norman Ladner segment, too.

I keep hearing the quote from #72 in my head, but it's not coming to me at all.

25. Laura Burbank
31. Lisa Ziegert

Just a wild guess on #72, but is that from the Michael Franke segment? His sister-in-law said something along the lines of, "The people investigating Mike's murder, don't want it solved. Because it goes much higher in the Oregon government."

"LARRY! *sob* LARRRY!!!!....Yeah..that's him! YOU (inaudable)"
"Do not be afraid..." ~ Virgin Mary, Guadalupe, etc.
*giggle* *giggle* LizzyBordenHadanaxshegaveherfatherthirtywackswhenshesawwhatshehaddoneshegaveherfatherthirtyone! *giggle* *giggle*

I'm so going to hell for this next one...
"Why was somebody mad at mee. What did I do. To hurt them." ~ The girl that was knocked off the motorcycle. I can't recall her name.

I'm so going to hell for this next one...
"Why was somebody mad at mee. What did I do. To hurt them." ~ The girl that was knocked off the motorcycle. I can't recall her name.

Jennifer Pratt. :)

39. Gary Grant, Jr.'s father speaking about his son's murder
45. Ron Picard, Doreen's father, speaking about threats made towards him in anonymous phone calls (during the '80's, before the advent of "Caller ID")

Thank you everyone! I just updated the list again. :)

Every one has done a great job providing the segments that go with the quotes in post 546! Thank you! Here are the quotes that we still don't have corresponding segment names:

2 - He ignored his usual late night feast.

3 - You didn't let me down. he keeps telling me over and over you didn't let me down. (Possibly from a psychic segment where the psychic claims to communicate with the dead. Either George Anderson or James Van Pragh. The psychic was doing a "reading" and told a family that their deceased loved one (son?) was saying this. Can I get a confirmation on this one? thanks! )

4 - Wanna see my icepick? (Is this Ed Kemper?)

5 - No one knows exactly how or when Johnston died, except perhaps, just perhaps, Bruce Kelly.

6 - The valley is home to upscale professionals (Possibly the Roger Dean segment?)

8 - Chuck is alright. Ecclesiastic 12, 1 thru 8.

10 - Will you come with me Mama? (Could be John Purvis asking his mom to go to the police station with him.)

11 - They have not come up with that word yet, once they do I will call you and let you know

12 - "It was good to meet again, we all took some polaroids together. (One of the lost loves, family reunion segments?)

13 - "You can call me Daddy Nickles, Daddy Nickles.

14 - We found a new home for ________, except there is one problem they do not speak english.

18 - Don't move.....don't make any noise, OK?

19 - The genius of the cryptograms, first of all he laid them out like works of art. (Zodiac?)

22 - Mom, can I have a dollar for lunch?

37 - Go wax your wheelchair.

43 - The Rotund Conman's garb of choice is a designer sweatsuit," Spoken by Robert Stack (Fumbles the bank robber? Or the guy who wobbled away from crimes on his bicycle?)

47 - You see I live a horrible life since he has been missing, I never gave em up.

48 - Or it could have been an eloborate hoax concocted by a professional huckster. (Can anyone confirm that this was the Iceman segment?)

51 - I don't cry as much as I use to. (Is this one of the parents of a missing or murdered family member?)

53 - What? He aint home yet?

55 - Dead men don't drive a car

58 - Are you gonna arrest her or not?" Cop's reply, "Don't tell me how to do my job!

63 - I was so happy I wanted to scream, but I was afraid if I did they would lock me up.

65 - Danny!! Danny!! This is not going to help!

67 - Busy place in the old days

I'll take a stab at some of these...


3 - You didn't let me down. he keeps telling me over and over you didn't let me down.

I think is from one of the segments about a psychic who claims to communicate with the dead. Either George Anderson or James Van Pragh(sp?) The psychic was doing a "reading" and told a family that their deceased loved one (son?) was saying this.


6 - The valley is home to upscale professionals (The valley? as in the "like omg, gag me with a spoon", "that is so bitchin", "totally grody to the max" and "like, whatevar!" valley?)

Just a guess, but I think this is from the Roger Dean segment.


9 - Say Mike do you have ESP?


Definitely from the Michael Lloyd Self segment.


10 - Will you come with me Mama?


John Purvis asking his mother to go with him to the police station?


16 - It was a sedative, we had fun.


Dr. Kenneth Frank to one of his victims trying to justify the rape.


17 - Hi, I'm Marty, You must be theives


LA detective to a pedophile he arrested for soliciting kids online. From a mid-nineties segment on computer crime.


20 - I have powers you don't.


"Rainboy" Donnie Decker to the priest.


21 - You can read your article later, do the pants!

David Harry Fisher to his wife after he murdered Laura Leigh Burbank and disposed of her body. He wanted the clothes he had worn that day washed as he was trying to destroy evidence.


35 - It came as a surprise to me. it wasn't planned, it wasn't discussed. I conceived my son that day. (Um, well that's sure a big dose of TMI.)

Sounds like Judy Olive discussing how her son was conceived on her date with that cult leader named Ulysses.


36 - What gives him the right, the arrogance to say that he believes something when there's no evidence of it?

Dr. John Branion's response to the prosecutor's belief that Branion hired someone to murder his wife.


46 - About a missing son: It's the kid, I was really attached to the kid.

I'm pretty sure this was Gilbert Ortiz talking about his son Johnathan.



48 - Or it could have been an eloborate hoax concocted by a professional huckster. (Can anyone confirm that this was the Iceman segment?)

Pretty sure it was.


50 - I ain't know nothin' 'bout the truck. But I know that he did not have no beer in the truck and he did not throw no gun out the truck because there wasn't no gun in the truck.

Think this was from the Andre Jones segment. His girlfriend's comments about the traffic stop/checkpoint and the police officer's allegations that Jones had tried to throw out a weapon.


52 - I've got some GOOD news and some BAD news - you guys are all under arrest!

Detective Bruce Hacker(sp?) in the Virginia reverse sting operation.


56 - I think there was something in the drink because I lost all sense of inhibition and I knew it couldn't have come from just one pina colada.

Pretty sure this was Judy Olive again commenting on the night she "joined psychic centers" with that cult leader.


60 - Uncle Bob fell in the water!


Bob Arceri(sp?) who allegedly drowned just prior to sentencing for various crimes.


61 - I hope this doesn't hurt your feelings but I have really sensitive skin...can you shave?

From the segment about con women who drug and rob men they pick up in hotel bars. Late 90s segment, not the one with Karl Malden.


70 - Now there was no reason for you to upset Ida like that. That was totally uncalled for!

Wendy Camp segment, I believe.


71 - Oh no, I said, not her. She loved her daddy SO much and I knew she had not run off.

Roxanne Woodson's mother from the Joe Sheppard segment.


72 - The people who did this murder obviously do not want this to be solved. (What murder was Capitan Obvious talking about here? Is it the Michael Franke segment?)

Roger Wheeler Jr. on his father's murder (Jai Lai case) from the first special narrated by Raymond Burr.

That's all I got...

Fantastic work, Justin! Thank you! :)

And I told my husband, I said, "They's something fell outta that plane."

And I told my husband, I said, "They's something fell outta that plane."

The only one I can think of is Brian Stanley Duecker, the guy who hitched a ride on a plane wing in KY and then fell to his death and it took years for them to ID him.

That's the one. I just can't help but laugh at the woman and her dialect when she says that.

That's the one. I just can't help but laugh at the woman and her dialect when she says that.

lol That was the clue that tipped me off to which case it was.

Not sure if you have #1 yet, but it's from the North Carolina hit-and-run case. They were actually the closing words of the segment, from victim Ken Dungee's brother. Just caught it again today.

Not sure if you have #1 yet, but it's from the North Carolina hit-and-run case. They were actually the closing words of the segment, from victim Ken Dungee's brother. Just caught it again today.

Oh wow, that's weird. I'd gotten information that it was from the Norm Ladner case. Do you think it's possible that UM scripted some of these kinds of comments or just that I was mistaken about the source.

Quote #1 was also so close in wording to the Ellender segment (Huey Littleton said it) that at first, I thought it was from that case.

The quotes in post #546 have been updated. :)

I don't know if someone put this yet...

"They got circlestansive evidence!"

I don't know if someone put this yet...

"They got circlestansive evidence!"

lol Jerry Strickland?

I think he said this in an update, but I don't have that one in my collection so I never got to see him say that great line.

Circlestansive evidence indeed! LOL pickle:

his "opinions"...and I'm using this term loosely...SUCK

"He looked crazy - you know when someone is crazy and they give you that crazy kind of look" --- woman who saw Dana Scatterfield's killer

its a new store...we can build it together!

its a new store...we can build it together!

That segment had a few great quotes...the woman who owned the store when she said "I was thrilled on a day when anyone would walk in looking for a job not on drugs it was a good day" "she was huge, 300 lbs, you don't get lost in a crowd when you're that enormous."

"...in her proverbial black limousine..."

"It's TWELVE stitches to the inch! You've only done eleven!"

"Good size, good color for men!"

"Do you believe I have the power?! Do you believe I have the power?!"

"A corpulent conman..."

Let's see if anyone can spot these:


"Translation: Germ Warfare"

"Is something the matter, officer?"

"Look, we're gonna be neighbors so let's get along..."

"Must be somethin' to do with his religion."

"...in her proverbial black limousine..."

"It's TWELVE stitches to the inch! You've only done eleven!"

"Good size, good color for men!"

"Do you believe I have the power?! Do you believe I have the power?!"

"A corpulent conman..."


These are just guesses:

The Countess of Cleveland
Tony "Bedazzle Jacket" Alamo
?
?
The guy who steals gold coins

"I graduated last week, you know."

"What?"

"I graduated from the University of Buffalo last week. I finally got my nurse's degree!"

"we can do business if the price is right"

These are just guesses:

The Countess of Cleveland
Tony "Bedazzle Jacket" Alamo
?
?
The guy who steals gold coins

1. Georgia Tann
2. Su-Ya Kim
3. Ann Corecelli (sp?)
4. Yes

And lol @"Bedazzle Jacket". :p

"Yo, what's up, old bag? We gonna blow your damn house up, see what I'm sayin'?"

ETA: From the same segment---"It's my car, you seen me park it there! Don't act stoopit."

"Yo, what's up, old bag? We gonna blow your damn house up, see what I'm sayin'?"

ETA: From the same segment---"It's my car, you seen me park it there! Don't act stoopit."

That`s gotta be C.J. Roddy!

That`s gotta be C.J. Roddy!

Correct, except it was CW Roddy.

I wondered what became of her, so I did some Googling and found this article from January 2000, ten years after the attack...

http://articles.sfgate.com/2000-01-01/news/17634667_1_roddy-drug-dealers-east-palo-alto

It appears that the drug activity had pretty much stopped in the ten years since she was shot; The police arrested many of the drug dealers that had been plaguing her neighborhood. Unfortunately, her assailants were (at least at that time) never identified.

Sorry about the typo!

Let's see if anyone can spot these:


"Translation: Germ Warfare"

"Is something the matter, officer?"

"Look, we're gonna be neighbors so let's get along..."



Did anyone get these yet?

I think the "look, we're gonna be neighbors so let's get along" was from the segment about Jason Horsley and his wife, who unfortunately moved in next door to Malaika Griffin. She was some kind of anti-white anti-government extremist or something and killed Jason over a parking space.

1. Georgia Tann


Yeah I JUST watched that segment two days ago and right when I heard that I remembered this post. I'm not a religious man but people like Georgia Tann are why I hope there is a Hell. Evil people who don't get punished in life and die before we all realize how wicked they were....oooohhhhh that gets my goat.

Germ warfare sounds like the Anthrax episode.

"What you are about to see is a mother's worst nightmare. Every horrifying detail is true"- Robert Stack narration on the murder of Larry Dickens. And I might add this line was quite appropriate for the segment. Edward Bell was and is a MONSTER!

"Germ Warfare" is from the gelatinous goo segment. :D

Correct; "translation: germ warfare" is from the segment called "The Blob," involving the clear, gelatinous substance that rained for weeks in Washington.

"He ignored his usual late-night feast" is from the segment "Elvis's Last Night."

It's not really a line, but my inner child got a kick out of the name of the medical examiner interviewed in the Rae Ann Mosser case: Dr. Butts.

"What you are about to see is a mother's worst nightmare. Every horrifying detail is true"- Robert Stack narration on the murder of Larry Dickens. And I might add this line was quite appropriate for the segment. Edward Bell was and is a MONSTER!


Didn't he die in prison?

[QUOTE=MegtheEgg86]"...in her proverbial black limousine..."

"It's TWELVE stitches to the inch! You've only done eleven!"
is that Gertrude Pruitt??

[QUOTE=MegtheEgg86]"...in her proverbial black limousine..."

"It's TWELVE stitches to the inch! You've only done eleven!"
is that Gertrude Pruitt??


I know this one has been mentioned but:
"You think youre pretty smart dont you?"

"Well maybe..."

(Im new to this thread so Im still trying to figure out how to post lol)

"good think you're back , I got you something."

"good think you're back , I got you something."

This is what Jim Burnside tells Annette when she went back home.... he gave her flowers! (tragic case but one of my fave episodes!)

2 - He ignored his usual late night feast.



Elvis' Last Night

"I love her to death"

In the Michael Scott Martin case in the re-enactment when he's in the supermarket and he pulls out his knife and keeps coaxing the boxboys with the brooms by saying, "You want some of this?" That part has always been funny to me.

The actress in the Dennis DePue segment....when she says, "Aren't you going to give me hug?"

Something about the way she says it cracks me up!

Any line uttered in the Sammy Wheeler/Bob Bean episode is comic gold.

The famous Chad Noe episode is about to air. "She just sat there, a-griping and a bitchin'."

I want to be at a gathering with everyone from the Bob Bean episode and the Chad Noe episode.

I thought about this thread when I was knitting yesterday and this popped into my head:

"I guess you just don't marry him, if you want to live."

Others that have floated around in my memory randomly as of late:

"After all, there are no more stigmas left.."

"He said that John Lennon had reincarnated in him."

"I swam until there wasn't no swimmin' left in me."

"Jimmy, I don't understand...God will punish this sin!"

"Be my Valentine, love...Forever."

"Jimmy, I don't understand...God will punish this sin!"




I didn't say Moses, you LIAR! I'm talking about Abraham. How can you come in here and doubt what I say. You SORRY WEASEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



^ (Hands down one of my favorites)

I didn't say Moses, you LIAR! I'm talking about Abraham. How can you come in here and doubt what I say. You SORRY WEASEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



^ (Hands down one of my favorites)

"I am God's man and I will not allow it!"

Ol' crazy Tony.

"I am God's man and I will not allow it!"

Ol' crazy Tony.
My mother loves to quote this one: "And he will HANG for being a traitor" or something along those lines when he's talking about trying a judge in his own court. What a nutbar.

My mother loves to quote this one: "And he will HANG for being a traitor" or something along those lines when he's talking about trying a judge in his own court. What a nutbar.

:lol: Nice. Yeah, no joke. I found one of those crazy tracts Tony Alamo's group publishes just last year while I was up in New Jersey on a parked car. It should have been titled Vitirolic Irrational Arguments Monthly. There's also a few radio interview with our boy Tone available for listening on the forbidden site--in one particular interviews, he becomes livid and actually calls one of the DJs he's talking to a weasel! :lol: It was too much.

UM is occasionally too accurate for its own good. :)

The detective in the Kathy Hobbs case. The line I found memorable was “Your immediate feeling is to run home grab your daughter by the arm and bring her to the scene, this is why I say no you can’t go out at night”…I mean why show your daughter a horrific crime scene just to get a point across?! I know the point he was trying to get across but he could have chosen a better choice of words.

I didn't say Moses, you LIAR! I'm talking about Abraham. How can you come in here and doubt what I say. You SORRY WEASEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



^ (Hands down one of my favorites)

This line is second best to “Just by coin-si-dence.. sure it is.. sure it is.. and I’m Michael Jordan,”

The detective in the Kathy Hobbs case. The line I found memorable was “Your immediate feeling is to run home grab your daughter by the arm and bring her to the scene, this is why I say no you can’t go out at night”…I mean why show your daughter a horrific crime scene just to get a point across?! I know the point he was trying to get across but he could have chosen a better choice of words.
I know he didn't do it, but I can sort of understand why he said such a thing, hoping that his daughter would understand finally that he wasn't keeping her in at night because of his own whims or to be mean, but because he loves her and wants to keep her safe. I think I saw a movie like that where the guy took the daughter of his fallen cop to a brutal crime scene to get the point across about how worried he was when she didn't come home the night before.

This line is second best to “Just by coin-si-dence.. sure it is.. sure it is.. and I’m Michael Jordan,”
I knew what I had and I was happy to pass it on *smirk* ok- Bob Bean

"But it's CHARLES!"

"Chance!"
"I didn't do it!"

"Chance!"
"I didn't do it!"

BUT IT'S MY HOUSE! The acting in that segment was interesting...:crazy:

If you believe it thats fine.. if u don't..I don't care... I don't care

:mad: :wave:

Any line uttered in the Sammy Wheeler/Bob Bean episode is comic gold.


If any network needs a new idea for a sitcom, how about a setup where a woman gets divorced and moves in with her new boyfriend and his brother? I could give you a description of the characters, too...;)

The ENTIRE Gertrude Pruit/Prewitt(?) segment...oh man....too many to count!

"You will appear before me in my courtroom."

In the St. James Hotel segment, the guy is talking about how somebody told the spirit it could leave. He says the ghost said in response (something to this effect, it's really unintelligble): "You don't tell this is you to leave." I giggle at that line. I think he was trying to say 3 or 4 things at the same time and it just ended up a jumbled mess. Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

If any network needs a new idea for a sitcom, how about a setup where a woman gets divorced and moves in with her new boyfriend and his brother? I could give you a description of the characters, too...;)
sounds like the sammy wheeler relatives.they would be a real hoot on a sitcom! :D

"You will appear before me in my courtroom."

In the St. James Hotel segment, the guy is talking about how somebody told the spirit it could leave. He says the ghost said in response (something to this effect, it's really unintelligble): "You don't tell this is you to leave." I giggle at that line. I think he was trying to say 3 or 4 things at the same time and it just ended up a jumbled mess. Does anyone know what I'm talking about?
Ahahaha, yes! I have always found that fellow amusing. I know what he was going for, but he just seemed really excited about it and he didn't say it coherently at all.

Also, I love the Tony Alamo quote. Dark segment, but full of so much comedic gold, including:

''I didn't say Moses, you liar!''
''You sorry weasel!''
''Timmy, I don't understaaaaaaand!!''
''He will appear before me in my courtroom and he will HAAAAAANG like a traitor''
''Well, they've already been here for 14 hours...I guess a few more won't hurt'' (something along those lines)
''What can I sayyyy to you, Boniiiiiita...''

''I approached her about sex and we had sex.'' The Kathy and Steve Page case. Yeah, not creepy at all.

May have been done already but
Da da dee dee ga guy Da da dee dee ga guy!

Also, I love the Tony Alamo quote. Dark segment, but full of so much comedic gold, including:

''I didn't say Moses, you liar!''
''You sorry weasel!''
''Timmy, I don't understaaaaaaand!!''
''He will appear before me in my courtroom and he will HAAAAAANG like a traitor''
''Well, they've already been here for 14 hours...I guess a few more won't hurt'' (something along those lines)
''What can I sayyyy to you, Boniiiiiita...''

YES. :rofl:

"God is telling me...give Jimmy ten licks!"

Ahahaha, yes! I have always found that fellow amusing. I know what he was going for, but he just seemed really excited about it and he didn't say it coherently at all.

Also, I love the Tony Alamo quote. Dark segment, but full of so much comedic gold, including:

''I didn't say Moses, you liar!''
''You sorry weasel!''
''Timmy, I don't understaaaaaaand!!''
''He will appear before me in my courtroom and he will HAAAAAANG like a traitor''
''Well, they've already been here for 14 hours...I guess a few more won't hurt'' (something along those lines)
''What can I sayyyy to you, Boniiiiiita...''
You nailed all the best lines

I AM THE POWER I AM THE POWER BE GONE!!!!

from the David Stone case.

"does anyone want to fight in here?"

GOAT UM line in my opinion.

You nailed all the best lines
;) I think I've seen the segment a few too many times.

BTW, love the avatar!

If you believe it thats fine.. if u don't..I don't care... I don't care
Charlie from allegash abductions?

Charlie from allegash abductions?


Sure is!!

another one from the Tony Alamo segment: Stack says something to the effect of: "To say that Tony Alamo is controversial does not nearly begin to describe him." I chuckled.

"Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

They found him dead

And they'll find you, too"

"Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

They found him dead

And they'll find you, too"

The letter to the record store clerk in the Kurt Sova segment.

to put a different spin on this, are there any quotes you have found yourself using in everyday conversations, or hope to?

I've wanted for a long time now to be able to work "I didn't think all of that could come from just one pina colada" into a conversation someday.

to put a different spin on this, are there any quotes you have found yourself using in everyday conversations, or hope to?

I've wanted for a long time now to be able to work "I didn't think all of that could come from just one pina colada" into a conversation someday.

Haha! I actually DO use "buddy deal". :lol: I am also self-conscious that the rhythm of my speech sometimes sounds a little like that man describing shoe sizes in the Henry/Crockett interstate spree killing segment. I guess it's a southern thing.

I also hope to work in "turning a light on and turning a light off" at some point.

"I got tired of lookin' over my shoulder."

"I got tired of lookin' over my shoulder."

That's a very good quote. I'm no fan of John Burns of course, but he really put things into perspective there. I think it proves that crime does not pay, and people that commit the crimes like Burns did will have their lives overcome with guilt to the point that prison seems like an attractive option. Perhaps it's even a bit Twilight Zone-esque.

One of the lines that has always stuck with me occured during a reenactment:
"I want you to sue the U.S. Army".

"Judy Hines is alive, and she lives in Omaha"

"company at 10?"

"He used to compare life to a Monopoly game--he'd say, money isn't everything, but it's the best way to keep score."

This one was running through my head a few weeks ago--Half-heartedly: "The house is on fire, the house is on fire. Everybody get out, the house is on fire."

"You want to run away with them. You want to FLEE with them."

"It isn't everyday that you see seomeone wherever they are walking around with a telephone."

"You still don't get lost in a crowd when you are ENORMOUS."

This one was running through my head a few weeks ago--Half-heartedly: "The house is on fire, the house is on fire. Everybody get out, the house is on fire."


He took pointers from the actress that played Elizabeth "That man took Jonathan!" Ortiz. :lol:

I'm doing these from memory, so I hope these are correct:

"OH...LEWIS, LEWIS!"

"This is about as low as humanity can crawl, or dig, or furrow. Where is their soul, where is their spirit?

"Ugly looking dude." (in reference to the trashy guy/assailant in Kenneth Dungee story)

"He cares about no one, not, not even his own flesh and blood. He's a sick, sick man." (Description of Bob Beane)

"NO NO NO, I don't use the phone" and "You'd do that for me. You're a saint." (NY Coin Scam)

"Well there isn't a phone in that car." (Gainesville Killers)

Probably the worst line I remember. "I'm gonna rob you then I'm gonna kill you"

The dude they got to act that scene was beyond creepy.

"I gotta light the grill!"

''Well, I hate to say it, but she looked kinda trashy.''-The trucker in the Duane McCorkendale segment

''It's got all the aspects of nature.''-Magic Rock

''...for her regular 34 mile bike ride.''- Tara Calico

''The only ones I know for sure didn't do it are my wife and myself. Everyone else is a suspect.''- Don Dixon

And the cream of the crop, everyone's favorite episode for the merit of its dialogue and acting:

''How many of those did you eat?'' ''Uh, a lot, why?'' ''Those are the Dr.'s special love potion. They're full of aphrodesiacs.'' ''Oh...'' :lol:

''Just one look at the succulent oysters provokes thoughts of sex''- personally I think hearing RS say this is comedy gold.

''Just one look at the succulent oysters provokes thoughts of sex''- personally I think hearing RS say this is comedy gold.

:rofl:

"Don't steal my apples, copper!"

''Well, I hate to say it, but she looked kinda trashy.''-The trucker in the Duane McCorkendale segment

''It's got all the aspects of nature.''-Magic Rock

''...for her regular 34 mile bike ride.''- Tara Calico

''The only ones I know for sure didn't do it are my wife and myself. Everyone else is a suspect.''- Don Dixon

And the cream of the crop, everyone's favorite episode for the merit of its dialogue and acting:

''How many of those did you eat?'' ''Uh, a lot, why?'' ''Those are the Dr.'s special love potion. They're full of aphrodesiacs.'' ''Oh...'' :lol:

''Just one look at the succulent oysters provokes thoughts of sex''- personally I think hearing RS say this is comedy gold.

I lol'ed

Probably the worst line I remember. "I'm gonna rob you then I'm gonna kill you"

The dude they got to act that scene was beyond creepy.

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

"I gotta light the grill!"

I swear I'll catch myself saying this when no one's around for no apparent reason then burst into laughter.

"Well there isn't a phone in that car." (Gainesville Killers)

I don't normally like to nitpick mistakes, especially since you used correct grammar there. But the actual quote was "There ain't no phone in that car". (with thick southern accent). I mention that because that's part of what made it funny.

I can't believe I never talk about this one because it's one of my favorite segments, but another one of Danny Wheeler's gems: "He cares about no one, little infant children." :lol: I think this was another case of somebody having multiple thoughts at once and them coming out together was a train wreck.

Here’s one that comes to mind (and again please forgive me if it has already been mentioned)

“ Although on the outside, she personifies class, beauty and professionalism. In reality, she is nothing more than a cheap harlot”

''Is that phone workin'?''

I can't believe I never talk about this one because it's one of my favorite segments, but another one of Danny Wheeler's gems: "He cares about no one, little infant children." :lol: I think this was another case of somebody having multiple thoughts at once and them coming out together was a train wreck.

That segment really never gets old. I also like the way Danny articulates as he's pontificating: "No-morals-no-scruples-he-cares-about-no-one-not-even-his-own-flesh-an'-blood.."

"...an' I'm gonna find him. An' I WILL find him."

:eek: That part was so scary, how the guy came right into the apartment! I have a very difficult time watching that segment overall just because of how sad it is, but I still can't forget the quotes from it, particularly the parts involving the actual killer.
Not verbatim, but paraphrase of what I recall:
''I need to use the phone.''
''There's a payphone on the corner, sir.''
''There's a phone right there, let me use it!''
''I can't let you use the phone, sir.''
''Come on, lady!''
''I can't let you use this phone, sir, but you can use the payphone on the corner.''
Dramatic pause.
''It's right out there, sir.''

This exchange is even scarier when you recall that he had a gun on him the whole time! Thank God he didn't decide to use it on the clerk for not letting him use the phone, particularly considering she was all alone. It was probably being in a public area, though, that caused him not to attack her.

:eek: That part was so scary, how the guy came right into the apartment! I have a very difficult time watching that segment overall just because of how sad it is, but I still can't forget the quotes from it, particularly the parts involving the actual killer.
Not verbatim, but paraphrase of what I recall:
''I need to use the phone.''
''There's a payphone on the corner, sir.''
''There's a phone right there, let me use it!''
''I can't let you use the phone, sir.''
''Come on, lady!''
''I can't let you use this phone, sir, but you can use the payphone on the corner.''
Dramatic pause.
''It's right out there, sir.''

This exchange is even scarier when you recall that he had a gun on him the whole time! Thank God he didn't decide to use it on the clerk for not letting him use the phone, particularly considering she was all alone. It was probably being in a public area, though, that caused him not to attack her.

That WAS scary, both of those things. The entire segment is. Scary and sad. :(

I do so love that actress though: "...see right out there where that lil sign is..." and "It's right out there, sir!" She wasn't taking ANY bull.

Maybe if I wouldve called someone.. this might not wouldve happened

I don't normally like to nitpick mistakes, especially since you used correct grammar there. But the actual quote was "There ain't no phone in that car". (with thick southern accent). I mention that because that's part of what made it funny.

And also hilarious because back in 1988, which I believe was the year of the murders, almost no one had a phone in a car, especially in Gainesville, Texas!
This wasn't Donald Trump in his limo in Manhattan. But this shows that these murderers might have been amoral, but they certainly weren't any masterminds.

And you speak of incorrect grammar-here's another quote:

"We was frens, we was sistahs, we was mother and daughter, grandmother and granddaughter."

"I told you two years ago, when we set them up they stay set up."

Can y'all add the segments for those of us with less than perfect memories? Pretty please :)

Can y'all add the segments for those of us with less than perfect memories? Pretty please :)

"I told you two years ago, when we set them up they stay set up."~ Circleville Writer Segment

Maybe if I wouldve called someone.. this might not wouldve happened~ George Owens segment

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:
Yes that's how I feel every time I watch that scene. The knock at the door frightens me.

"GO, GO, GO"!!!! (Nelson Decloud segment)

"She used foul language"
"She attacked me...verbally."

I just went through all 45 pages of this thread (and boy are my eyes tired.) There actually weren't all that many repeats, not as many as I was expecting anyways. The ones that were repeated were done so several times, but one quote was mentioned a whopping 5 times, the record. Can anyone guess what it was? Hint: think meat.

The ones that were repeated were done so several times, but one quote was mentioned a whopping 5 times, the record. Can anyone guess what it was? Hint: think meat.

Dave's "large steak" comment in the Jim Burnside segment?

I was sure it was going to be Sammy Wheeler's Michael Jordan gem.

Dave's "large steak" comment in the Jim Burnside segment?

I was sure it was going to be Sammy Wheeler's Michael Jordan gem.

yes, it was indeed the steak comment.

For me the most memorable line was from Jeremy's Brights case:

"Someone in Myrtle Point knows exactly what happened to Jeremy. They aren't talking, but they know."

And with Robert Stack's voice, it just sound all the more eerie.

I can't believe this thread has gone this long without some of these mentioned:

"It wasn't raining rain."

"Get the blankety blank out of here!"

"Problems with the power."

"LOUIS!! LOOOOOOOUUUUUUIS! LOU..."

"The terrorists rushed him to a hospital, where doctor's saved his life."

Robert Stack, at the beginning of the Irvin Freeman lost loves segment: "This is a story about a love affair between a father and his little girl."

I know he didn't mean it as such, but it's just impossible to ignore the negative innuendo of such a statement.

"did you make the French toast?"

"Max Plank...I don't know, but you're going to be hearing a lot about him in the near future."

I hope these quotes are all correct or close to correct. I'm doing these
from memory.

"What the Hale! MABEL! MABEL!

"He's going to regret this day he gave that man a ride."

"What's your problem? Get out of the car!"

"I Bringing Them Home. I Bringing Them Home."

"A few snails were sacrificed."

"And don't be talking none of that trash talk around here."

"What it is. (What it were.)"

"He might have been weird, but he wasn't a weirdo."

"Boy I've sure seen a lot of Roland Gasslers lately."

"Hey Keith, you old turkey!"

"SECURITY!" (from the Kevin Poulson story).

"It was kind of like, turning a light on and turning a light OFF. (big eyes)
That was..Clarence."

"A few snails were sacrificed."

"And don't be talking none of that trash talk around here."

IIRC, it was "A few small snails were sacrificied." and "Watch your manners and don't talk that trash in my house." I hate to nitpick, but in these cases, you have to get the exact quotes for maximum LOL.

"Ira impressed me as a man who thought a lot of himself , and I really didn't understand how he could feel that way about himself because I didn't find him particularly attractive"- awesome burn of Ira Einhorn.

Incidentally, when this segment was on the forbidden site, my favorite comment was "I knew Ira's story was bogus as soon as he claimed he was taking a shower."

"why do you want to kill me?

"We couldn't figure out how you could make that much money selling steel drums. Then the joke was, 'what's in the drums?'"

:eek: That part was so scary, how the guy came right into the apartment! I have a very difficult time watching that segment overall just because of how sad it is, but I still can't forget the quotes from it, particularly the parts involving the actual killer.
Not verbatim, but paraphrase of what I recall:
''I need to use the phone.''
''There's a payphone on the corner, sir.''
''There's a phone right there, let me use it!''
''I can't let you use the phone, sir.''
''Come on, lady!''
''I can't let you use this phone, sir, but you can use the payphone on the corner.''
Dramatic pause.
''It's right out there, sir.''

This exchange is even scarier when you recall that he had a gun on him the whole time! Thank God he didn't decide to use it on the clerk for not letting him use the phone, particularly considering she was all alone. It was probably being in a public area, though, that caused him not to attack her.
What segment was this? Sounds familiar.

What segment was this? Sounds familiar.

Roxanne Jeeves and Kristopher Korper.

"What can I say to you, bonita..."

"What can I say to you, bonita..."
:rofl:

Some days I'm just sitting around and this will pop in my head.

I know it's terrible, but sometimes I think I would love to go to a church service and hear the pastor say, "I didn't say Moses, YOU LIAR!" :D

I remember this one quite frequently, this was in reference to Rachel Raver's car:

"It was left unattended on a New York City street, so you can imagine what happened to it."

"I'm sure I know a dopehead when I see one."

''You're busted man!''
''I don't think so...''
''Yeah, you are!''
:crazy:


''You found what you found...'' Gah, I think I want to punch Ira Einhorn in the face multiple times every time I see the segment. That's what you say in response to your girlfriend's body being found in your closet? And then after that blase remark you claim the Russians framed you? Sir, please shut your mouth.


''In a week he can't get that fat.''

''In a week he can't get that fat.''

YES, my boy Tommy Zaino!

I have a few that come to mind. They may have already been mentioned but oh well :)

1. Policeman: "Have you lost a lot of weight recently?"
Woman: "ummm NO I haven't....???"

2. "You know how a crazy person looks when they're crazy? well that's what he looked like...like he was real crazy!!!"

3. "and the whole time we was in the car she was just griping and-a-bitching...and that's all she could do."

4. ".....you're being BAD again!"

5. "and it seemed like she was indirectly indicating that she knew where the bodies were buried."

6. "We was friends...we was sisters......we was mother and daughter...we were grandparents too ya know."

LOL :P

"I'm sure I know a dopehead when I see one."


haha that's the Sonny Liston case. His wife was awesome! :)

"this is takin' too much time, man"

"My friend is gonna teach me how to train monkeys!"

"Who is this?"

"The morphine wouldn't have taken effect for fifteen minutes half and hour, the knot specialist who came in and recreated the same type of knots and the way she was tied up, it took them three minutes."

Men in Black: Mr. Muniz! We have a summons, Internal Revenue Service.
Ray Muniz: Am I being audited?
Men in Black: *chuckling* Just show up!

"They're on a SECRET MISSION!"

"They're on a SECRET MISSION!"
''OK...'' *skeptical face* ''Can you tell us how we can get in contact with them?''

''OK...'' *skeptical face* ''Can you tell us how we can get in contact with them?''

"I have a SOURCE!"

"As I stood beside the casket and looked down at Ralph, I made a vow to him that I would find his killer, and I would not rest until I got him. I figured it would be solved quickly. But it didn’t turn out that way."

- Bob Borowski, friend and partner of deceased officer Ralph Probst

Men in Black: Mr. Muniz! We have a summons, Internal Revenue Service.
Ray Muniz: Am I being audited?
Men in Black: *chuckling* Just show up!

LOL

I'm sure I'm not the only one who finds the IRS wayyyyy scarier than any "men in black."

If I were summoned by some shady guys I thought were IRS agents, but who turned out to be aliens, I'd jump for joy.

(whispering) "There's someone in my garage." That one has stuck with me for 20 years.

LOL

I'm sure I'm not the only one who finds the IRS wayyyyy scarier than any "men in black."

If I were summoned by some shady guys I thought were IRS agents, but who turned out to be aliens, I'd jump for joy.

Until they start probing around in your nether region that is.

"It's a shed."

LOL

I'm sure I'm not the only one who finds the IRS wayyyyy scarier than any "men in black."

If I were summoned by some shady guys I thought were IRS agents, but who turned out to be aliens, I'd jump for joy.

:lol:
If the IRS looked and behaved anything like those goofballs in the MIB segment, I wouldn't be so afraid. As long as I could just bring in my receipts and they let me leave without looking at them. ;)

I love you Cindy, by G.W. Bush

Some more lines that struck me as creepy:

"It's gotten to the point where I wouldn't care if he came after me. Maybe if he killed me, maybe he'd get caught this time."

-Gord McAllister, Blind River Rest Stop Victim

"I LOVE YOU CINDY" by GW

-Cindy Anderson dissappearence in Ohio, spray-painted on a wall by unknown intruder

"The mission's off!"

-Justin Burwinkle

"His skin did not look normal."

-Collette Peters in the Men In Black segment

Just some more to add to the collection.

from Beverly McGowan's case: Sam, Alice's sidekick, says to the travel agent lady - "Uuummmm those plate of refined cookies on your desk looks tempting, may I?"

the travel lady responds: "Sure, why not!"


"You, my friend are a proud owner of a Z"

"Dad, some bad guy killed Sam." "Yes, some real bad guy killed Sam."

"I was so happy I wanted to scream, but I was afraid if I did they would look me up."

"We are not that type of people, we have lived in this community our whole lives."

"Danny!! Danny!! This is not going to help!!!"

"Why is she lying I wonder?"

To be continued...............

Here is mine: "He looked like he was about to enjoy a large steak!!!!"

When he said the word LARGE STEAK before the man shot him, I pictured a juicy large dark steak on a plate at a fancy restaurant ready to be eaten by me. I also found it funny that he did not die. His voice was raspy or kind of super masculine lol.

In this segment a very young girl married a man who was like 30 years older than her! Just wrong! Also, Drew Peterson, the Chicago cop who got arrested a couple years ago for killing one of his 4 wives, had married a hot younger lady who was maybe 25-30 years younger than him.

Women - do not do this. Whenever a young girl (who is usually naïve) marries an older man (that is very controlling cause he is so much older) it leads to only trouble. I find it odd when these old men act all nice and friendly at first, then once he gets her married she 'discovers' the real him on the inside of his house: angry, extremely jealous, wife beater, anxious, and depressed.


AUGH! I hear the speaker saying this ridiculous line... but I don't remember what segment it's from.

*grin* I've got one that EVERYONE will know.

"He's got Jonathan! That man took Jonathan!"

This Stack line has been repeating itself in my mind because it's on one of the few UM vids that are still available on the site that shall not be named:

"The idea of a creature larger than a gorilla and with a odour like a skunk might seem farfetched..."

:lol:

ahhh! hahaha I loved that quote from Stack. One thing I always found fascinating about UM cases on big foot (or any tv case) is that the big foot fans or researchers can never find just one in the entire world. yet we cannot disprove of yeti because we can not seek out the entire world in places like high mountains, forests, cold places, etc. but i still find it funny story. even more funny is lochness which used to fascinate me as a child. you would think a lochness skeleton would float up one day ashore in Canada or some divers accidentally find its skeleton under sea.

big foot
yeti
sasquatch
abominable snowman

so many funny names. just like lochness has many names such as :

Lochness
Nessie
and my favorite (oga poga) lol

This Stack line has been repeating itself in my mind because it's on one of the few UM vids that are still available on the site that shall not be named:

"The idea of a creature larger than a gorilla and with a odour like a skunk might seem farfetched..."

:lol:

"I'm really getting worried; he's always so...prompt."

I'm not sure if this quote is completely accurate:
"I didn't believe in the little green men"

"Thank you all for a wonderful evening."

"I want margaritas and pinatas and..."

"Is this the part where we all get arrested?"

"Anybody who's crazy enough to do this to their own daughter is crazy enough to do almost anything."

"He had written Boise, Iowa instead of Boise, Idaho. We found that to be pretty hilarious."

Not sure if it's been mentioned, but I always thought that the exchange between Richard Relf and his boss, Larry Mouser was funny. Please excuse me if I don't have every last word correct; I haven't seen it in a while

Larry: Hi, Richard. What do you know about a little company called AdTech?

Richard: It's one of our suppliers.

Larry: Do you know where they're located?

Richard (playing stupid): Uh, somewhere in Arizona, I think.

Larry: Do you know who the owners are?

Richard: I don't think I've ever met them.

Larry (very condescendingly): The owners are Richard and Joann Relf. Gimme the keys to the car, YOU'RE FIRED!

yea I remember when Richard's accounting lady asked if they (ADTEC)wanted to set up an account with the company. and Richard lied and mumbled some stuff saying - that they are some mom and pop outfit and would not be interested. lol.

my 'former' best friend from childhood - well his dad had to make sure his family ate at the best restaurants and his kids had more video games than me and more expensive bikes than me and my brother. well later on he got sentenced to prison for stealing money/wiring from a bank. then he went to prison for 1 year. so that is how he fed his family to expensive lobster dinners and etc. shockingly his father did the same fraud after prison and went back to prison for another 1 year stint. how stupid can one man be?

guys like my friend's dumb father and Richard Relf have 2 things in common - first they are greedy and need acceptance from friends, coworkers, family, and strangers. second, they are gullible because they think they can actually steal money forever.

I also found Dr. Fraud segment funny. UM had to poke fun of his weight as they did with Bonnie Wilder. while it is necessary to announce their weight because they are wanted by the law and people need a description of their current or former weights, it is not necessary for tv shows to pick on one's weight. Plus, when Lisa Penzer (the jobber) kept on picking on Bonnie's weight it made her look insecure. She wanted to put all the blame on Bonnie and none on her at all. Part of the blame goes to Lisa and I bet she feels foolish forever for that incident. If she did her job correctly she would hve saved the company's reputation and money.

At the time I didn't think about it but another poster said she got fired perhaps due to not doing a background check with Bonnie. Lisa was stupid to just hire some stranger because of her sparkling personality. What Lisa should have done was perform a background check on Bonnie and she would then discover either a shady past or not much to go on. and if there's not much to go on you become suspic and avoid hiring her.

While many UM fraudsters eventually got caught and served prison time ranging from 3 - 10 years I always hated the fact that Lisa Pen'z store dropped the charges against bonnie simply because the insurance company paid them off. What does that say about our society? Bonnie could have still been arrested if possible and still serve jail or prison time.

Not sure if it's been mentioned, but I always thought that the exchange between Richard Relf and his boss, Larry Mouser was funny. Please excuse me if I don't have every last word correct; I haven't seen it in a while

Larry: Hi, Richard. What do you know about a little company called AdTech?

Richard: It's one of our suppliers.

Larry: Do you know where they're located?

Richard (playing stupid): Uh, somewhere in Arizona, I think.

Larry: Do you know who the owners are?

Richard: I don't think I've ever met them.

Larry (very condescendingly): The owners are Richard and Joann Relf. Gimme the keys to the car, YOU'RE FIRED!

I found it odd and funny when the daughter asked which one - when the sheriff reported an accident. was she thinking the one who died was ironically the one with more life insurance. I doubt it as she was sincerely sad. I don't want to say that. but just the way she said it was different.

I thought it might be interesting for us to share with each other some of our most memorable lines from UM segments. Even better lets see if you can guess which segment this comes from. I can only think of one right now but will post more as they come to me as hopefully you all will. (This may not be the words verbatim but very close).

"I just remember asking which one, I never dreamed it would have been both of them".

Anyone know which segment its from?

MJ also played for the Grand Wizards of Waverly Washington Place.

also I find it sick as huck when people on this site use dead murdered victims as their handle/poster image. I understand using a missing person in hopes someone may see one someday. just saying.

"Coincidence, sure it is and I'm Michael Jordan and I used to play basketball for the Chicago Bulls"

The most infamous line ever spoken on UM

this isn't a quote but I thought it was funny when UM called the phoenix area lady GREEN EYES. Oooh it was so scary and odd to only see her eyes and not the rest of the actress's face lol. but I guess since UM never found "Green eyes" it makes sense to only focus the camera on an actress's eyes.

"Judy Hymes is alive and she lives in Omaha"

"Look what I been doin on my vacation Omar! yaaa haahaahahahahaha"

"I'm not that kind of father, never have been and never will be"

"I didn't even have to use the phone anyway"

I cant think of the quote that father with grey hair said of the murder of his kid in that cult murder case where they had sex with the bodies after she were shot. and I understand his stern behavior and anger and quest for vengeance. though I found it funny when he kept on saying stuff in such a stern voice. I cant remember exactly what he said, but something like...


- where are your souls? where is your sympathy?

he said it so matter of factly


I can remember the exact quote or case...I think its the wendy camp case...if anyone can help me out...

"My Grandmother and Mother had nothing to do with Wendy's disappearence, at least not that they told me about"

Heres another one to guess...

"To say i was involved, well that is just lu-di-crous."

his quote made me laugh too. I assume he did not get out of prison and only said that to throw off the detectives. he wanted to imply he just got released from prison and needed them to comply with him quickly and in order because he was in a hurry to continue being on the run.

Zodiac simply did not want them to take forever in pleading or giving him their keys or wallet. Zodiak just wanted to kill and get out with no hassle.

obviously a real serial killer would not say he just got released or escaped from a nearby prison to some strangers who could then tell authorities who will check the prison on any recently released inmates or escapes.

then again if he planned on killing both people, he could say whatever he wanted.

islimb]I'm an escaped convict from Deer Lodge, Montana... and I don't have much time.

I don't have much time? What was the Zodiac late for a dinner appointment or something? Seriously. Just the way the actor delivers that line makes me chuckle.[/QUOTE]

Not sure if it's been mentioned, but I always thought that the exchange between Richard Relf and his boss, Larry Mouser was funny. Please excuse me if I don't have every last word correct; I haven't seen it in a while

Larry: Hi, Richard. What do you know about a little company called AdTech?

Richard: It's one of our suppliers.

Larry: Do you know where they're located?

Richard (playing stupid): Uh, somewhere in Arizona, I think.

Larry: Do you know who the owners are?

Richard: I don't think I've ever met them.

Larry (very condescendingly): The owners are Richard and Joann Relf. Gimme the keys to the car, YOU'RE FIRED!

I love that one, too, particularly how the guy playing Richard just throws his hands up in defeat as if to say, "You got me!"

We just moved to Georgia and I frequently travel to Columbia, SC for work (the city we live in is ten minutes from the state line). The first time I made the trip I noticed an exit sign for Swansea and got an overwhelming sense of déjà vu. Then I heard it in my head: "...Jon Scott from Swansea, South Carolina..."--the truck driver attesting to Gail Delano's "northern accent".

Oh, what's the one by Paul Pollis stating that he liked to live in a clean house, lol.

The part in the Sharon Kinne segment where she and her victim are driving down the road and she's all "I can't wait! We're gonna go to mexico and drink magaritas and take siestas blah blah blah" so painfully forced...

"Greasy blonde hair....ugly dude!"

"I gotta light the grill..."

"Close the door, will you close the door?"
RS: No one knows what was said behind that closed door, but afterward the two brothers, who had always been close, never spoke again.
:eek:

I think the Stanley Gryziec case is one of the creepiest.

[QUOTE=WishfulDreamer]"Close the door, will you close the door?"
RS: No one knows what was said behind that closed door, but afterward the two brothers, who had always been close, never spoke again.
:eek:

I agree, and because of the circumstances of the case, I think it's unlikely that the case will be solved.

"Close the door, will you close the door?"
RS: No one knows what was said behind that closed door, but afterward the two brothers, who had always been close, never spoke again.
:eek:

I think the Stanley Gryziec case is one of the creepiest.

It's on my P.M. "Do Not Watch" list for sure.

It has:

1. A home invasion
2. Creepy music
3. A stalking-by-car
4. Scary composites
5. Voice distortion in an interview
6. A person wanted for questioning

In other words, just about every unsettling UM element there is all worked into one segment.

I just watched it again recently in the evening (I live alone) because it's one of my favorite segments, but it is really unsettling for all the reasons you mentioned. I also find the part where one of the men is skulking around in the dark at the same time the eyewitness lets her dog out to be pretty unnerving.

It really does seem like it will never be solved. The murderers and any others involved may not even be living now.

It really does seem like it will never be solved. The murderers and any others involved may not even be living now.

For sure. I have always wondered whatever became of Chuck Bruczinski and what he might have known regarding that case. He looked much younger than any of the Gryziec brothers were in the mid-70s, so I wonder if he could be still be around today.

Stuck in my head all day:

"Yeah, that's right--clothes."

Stuck in my head all day:

"Yeah, that's right--clothes."
:rotflmao: I LOVE this one.

"I prayed for years for Suzie to be healed and I thought 'Oh my God, here I go again for another how many years praying for her to be raised from the dead.'"

The formula is fine so just shut up about it

"It's right out there, sir!"

"If you would've played a note on that piano, his whole body would have quivered."

"NO, I DON'T GET PAROLED TIL FEBRUARY."

Todd Mueller segment. It's just hilarious all around.

"It's right out there, sir!"

I admire that lady's persistence.

"Oh, it is a cookbook!"

"She said 'call the sheriff'. I said 'I will call the sheriff and I will call an ambulance. What appears to be the problem?', she said 'call the sheriff'".

"Oh, it is a cookbook!"

"She said 'call the sheriff'. I said 'I will call the sheriff and I will call an ambulance. What appears to be the problem?', she said 'call the sheriff'".

Great ones.

(Smiling) "Let's go home."

"If you want to get rid of it, dump it in the Missouri River." (With Missouri pronounced in that way only a native Missourian does it: miz-OOR-ah.)

"Oh, it is a cookbook!"

"She said 'call the sheriff'. I said 'I will call the sheriff and I will call an ambulance. What appears to be the problem?', she said 'call the sheriff'".

Which cases are these from?

Which cases are these from?

Zip Gun Bomber

Pam and Erik Ellender

"Glen Nash was a hard drinking lawyer whose grip on sanity was beginning to slip ….he had come to the deluded conclusion that agents from the bar were conspiring against him" :lol: :lol:


"who then took advantage of who is open to debate "
:lol:




Going a little offtopic: Interestingly enough the man who played the first convenience store clerk in that segment looks like the Detective from Mathnet in Square One TV :) :D

Obviously guns don’t get up and walk off on their own– Robert Stack (One of his many classic lines)

Another one just came to mind..

Bad Guy with a Friendly voice "Hi!! Youre Richard right?"
Richard: "Yeah..."
Other bad guy: "Get him!!!!"

Another one just came to mind..

Bad Guy with a Friendly voice "Hi!! Youre Richard right?"
Richard: "Yeah..."
Other bad guy: "Get him!!!!"
:lol: :lol: I mentioned this in the unintentionally funny moments thread. What happened is terrible of course, but the line delivery was great.

The case is sad but I found this quote to be funny because has anyone actually used the word "harlot" past the 1950s? lol

"Although on the outside she personifies class, beauty and professionalism in reality she is nothing more than a cheap harlot"

From the Ed Wood's haunted house case about the ghost in the shower "When Ed's son came to visit he got the welcome of a lifetime":lol:

"All right, what's with the shower?" :rotflmao:

The case is sad but I found this quote to be funny because has anyone actually used the word "harlot" past the 1950s? lol

"Although on the outside she personifies class, beauty and professionalism in reality she is nothing more than a cheap harlot"

I like that one lol.


"What's the big rrrlush in middle of the night?!"

What would you say to me Bonita.

What would you say to me Bonita.

Gets stuck in my head constantly.

"That's what I want but I don't know if I can afford it."