Ok, we can all start role playing...have fun:D


Sam: [opens the bar] Alright everybody, come on in. [leaps over the front of the bar] I still got it.

Lilith [walks into bar]: Is this damn place still open?

Diane: [stepping in cautiously and looking around in awe to see that the place looks the same] My, my...[she sees Sam and Lilith] My goodness. Hello, Sam, Lilith. It's been so long. My taxi was passing by here and I told him to stop when I saw the Cheers sign still hanging...just like it did 11 years ago. I thought to myself...wouldn't it be sad if everything were the same as they were before? The same old converstations at the bar...the same humdrum routines...the same people wearing out their days in the same bar...drinking themselves away...[people start to give her weird looks] And what a comfort it is!

Lilith: I haven't been in here in eleven years..and it feels just the same as it did then.

Diane: So you're all probably dying to know what brings me to Boston!

Sam: Well, since you two ladies are my first costumers, can I pour you a drink?

Diane: Oh! I'll have a white wine. So...aren't you all dying to know why I'm in Boston?

Lilith: Scotch, Sam.

Lilith [sarcastically]: What brings you to Boston Diane?

Sam: You've been gone a long time, Diane. [makes the drinks and places them in front of Lilth and Diane]

Diane: [Smiles, unaware of any sarcasm] Well, I just came back from an interview at a publishing house. It's a pretty high up position! I'm moving back here, if I get the job. Isn't that wonderful? The best thing to do after a divorce is to completely change your life around! [drinks] How is everybody?

Originally posted by DianeDiane
Diane: [Smiles, unaware of any sarcasm] Well, I just came back from an interview at a publishing house. It's a pretty high up position! I'm moving back here, if I get the <A TITLE="Click for more information about job" STYLE="text-decoration: none; border-bottom: medium solid green;" HREF="http://search.targetwords.com/u.search?x=5977|1||||job|AA1VDw">job</A>. Isn't that wonderful? The best thing to do after a divorce is to completely change your life around! [drinks] How is everybody?

Lilith: Now Diane..I'm not entirely sure about completely changing your life around. I didn't, and I ended up-

Diane: Haha...exactly. Oh but it's so wonderful to see my old friends again. A reunion is such a perfect moment to reflect on ones own life. A reunion is a type of lens through which we are able to perceive how far we've all come - how much we've matured - how we've let go of our old habits, our old flaws [major eye rolling at her hypocrisy] - how we've all cleansed our spirits of the past.

Sam: Well, I'm happy for you, Diane. Whatever makes you happy. [to both] Excuse me a moment. [goes into his office]

Woody- Hey everybody

Diane: Woody! It's been so long!

Lilith: Hello Woody.

Sam: [pops his head out of his office] Hey, Woody! [coughs] Look at all this dust! [closes the door and hears rustling in his office]

Diane: Ah...I remember my waitressing days here...That was probably the easiest job I've ever had. Of course...as a waitress, I also had some of my most humiliating moments - far worse than accidentally setting Jane Seymour's hair on fire when I was a writer on "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman."

Originally posted by DianeDiane
Diane: Ah...I remember my waitressing days here...That was probably the easiest job I've ever had. Of course...as a waitress, I also had some of my most humiliating moments - far worse than accidentally setting Jane Seymour's hair on fire when I was a writer on "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman."

Lilith: Frasier told me about that last one.

Sam: [comes out of his office] So, Diane..it's been eleven years. How the heck are ya? Did you....uh, get married? [wipes his nose to muffle the word "married"]

Diane: Oh, yes, I suppose he would. But you know...accidents happen! Funny you should mention Frasier - after he tried to help me out with the production of my play, "Rhapsody and Requiem," I hit it big in L.A. Yes, I met this wonderful film director who said he was willing to turn it into a film! That's my now ex-husband. Well the film didn't go anywhere. He insisted on having the other characters in the script try to kill the heroine, Maryanne. I just wouldn't allow it!

Diane: Yes, Sam. Married and recently divorced. And you? I'm sure you must have married someone by now.

Sam: Sure, Diane. I've had lots of women offer to marry me, but I guess I haven't found Mrs. Right, yet. [gets out a bottle of selzer water]

Woody- Nope Sam here is and always will be single.

Originally posted by Princess Feenster
Sam: Sure, Diane. I've had lots of women offer to marry me, but I guess I haven't found Mrs. Right, yet. [gets out a bottle of selzer water]

Lilith: Frasier did. Her name was actually Ms. Right. Needless to say, things didn't work out as planned.

Originally posted by CheersChild4life
Woody- Nope Sam here is and always will be single.

Diane: Awww, Sam...I see you're still picking through the hors d'oeuvres while the rest of us are at dessert! [laughs]

Lilith: Frasier did. Her name was actually Ms. Right. Needless to say, things didn't work out as planned.

Sam: How is Frasier? Does he still live in Seatle?

Lilith: Divorce is dessert Diane?

Originally posted by Princess Feenster
Sam: How is Frasier? Does he still live in Seatle?

Lilith: Actually, no. Last I heard, he followed his current love interest to Chicago...

[mumbles]: And yet he couldn't follow me home from..here.

Originally posted by BebeSternin
Lilith: Divorce is dessert Diane?

Diane: Touchee, Lilith. But you know, I feel fulfilled - I've done everything I've wanted to do...and then some. I'd say that counts as dessert. I stand here today a self-actualized woman, with no regrets whatsoever [*twitch*]. I'd like another drink now.

Diane: Awww, Sam...I see you're still picking through the hors d'oeuvres while the rest of us are at dessert! [laughs]

Sam: Well, at least I still got it. [to Woody] And my women always get the Sammy dessert special.

Sam: [to Lilith] How's Derek....or was it Maverick?

Originally posted by Princess Feenster
Sam: Well, at least I still got it. [to Woody] And my women always get the Sammy dessert special.

Diane: [rolls eyes] Oh please [laughs]. Well I have to admit I do miss your old lines. [mumbles] Nothing can entertain me more than watching you slip on them.

[Sam pours Diane another drink]

Originally posted by Princess Feenster
Sam: [to Lilith] How's Derek....or was it Maverick?

Lilith: Do you mean Brian?...or Frederick?

Diane: Oh of course! Your son! How is the little darling?

Sam: How is the little champ?

Lilith: Freddie is 14, and we've just found him a new chess tutor. He's far too average for my liking, but I'm proud of him.

Originally posted by Princess Feenster
Sam: How is the little champ?

Lilith: Well, I'm guessing you're not talking about my ex-husband.

Diane: Aw.......well if that isn't unconditional love, I don't know what is! [laughs]

Sam: I'm sorry, Lilith, how's Brian?

Lilith: For a while there, I was afraid he was going to turn out like Sam, but it turned out to be just a phase. And, I'm relieved.

Originally posted by Princess Feenster
Sam: I'm sorry, Lilith, how's Brian?

Lilith: Er. Brian and I are divorced, and he's seeing someone else.

Woody- Since were talking about kids Brett, my son is 10 now, and if I do say so my self he's quite the little brain. Not a single D.

Originally posted by BebeSternin
Lilith: For a while there, I was afraid he was going to turn out like Sam, but it turned out to be just a phase. And, I'm relieved.

Diane: [Diane laugh] Yes - "most" of them grow out of it. Of course I never had that problem. Daddy always said I started to show signs of brilliance when I was a baby.

Diane: Oh, Woody...you should be proud. How is your wife doing?

Lilith: Yes. Myself as well. Although, neither of my parents ever said that..but..that's irrelevent.

Sam: That's too bad, Lilith. Was she a friend, sister...nurse?

Diane: [pats Lilith's knee] I'm sure it wouldn't have made a difference...

ooc-eep, I have to go, but I'll be back later tonight!

Lilith [looks at watch]: Oh, I have to go pick-up Freddie from his chess lesson!

Originally posted by Princess Feenster
Sam: That's too bad, Lilith. Was she a friend, sister...nurse?

Lilith: Actually Sam, he was a construction worker who was working on our bedroom.

Diane: Aw..see you again soon, Lilith!

Originally posted by DianeDiane
Diane: Oh, Woody...you should be proud. How is your wife doing?

Woody- Aw Kelly she's doing great. Guess what she's pregnant with our second kid. When she told me I was just so happy. I mean rasing one kid was great now just think I get to do it again. I just want a great big family. Like mine. Maybe someday I'll move out to the country. The kids can get a nice good country education like I did.

Diane: [To Woody] Right...I'm sure they must have fine educational institutions out in the country by now...

[To Sam] So, Sam? How's the staff? Does Carla still work here? I didn't hear any screams when I entered, so I'm assuming she isnt' here. Have you been "breaking in" any new waitresses lately?

Lilith: Actually Sam, he was a construction worker who was working on our bedroom.

Sam: Oh. [turns around and walks into the pool room to laugh]

Originally posted by DianeDiane
Diane: [To Woody] Right...I'm sure they must have fine educational institutions out in the country by now...

[To Sam] So, Sam? How's the staff? Does Carla still work here? I didn't hear any screams when I entered, so I'm assuming she isnt' here. Have you been "breaking in" any new waitresses lately?

[Carla enters the bar] Carla- Hey every-- [She sees Diane and gives out a long scream]

Diane:...Hello, Carla. I suppose it just wouldn't feel right if we didn't go through this little display every single time.

Sam: Hey, Carla. I thought you'd be home with the kids for a while longer.

Originally posted by Princess Feenster
Sam: Hey, Carla. I thought you'd be home with the kids for a while longer.

Carla- Now that I'm here I wish I would have stayed home. Even if I do have to spend time with my kids. What are you doing here?

Diane: Yes, Carla - it's nice to see you too. Now don't jump for joy when I tell you this...but I'm considering moving back to Boston [quickly shields her face with her purse].

Originally posted by DianeDiane
Diane: Yes, Carla - it's nice to see you too. Now don't jump for joy when I tell you this...but I'm considering moving back to Boston [quickly shields her face with her purse].

Carla- God, I was sure that we had finally gotten rid of you Whitey, but you always return.

Sam: [to Carla] I own this bar, again. I bought it back from Rebecca a few weeks ago. I was just waiting for the right time to re-open.

Originally posted by Princess Feenster
Sam: [to Carla] I own this bar, again. I bought it back from Rebecca a few weeks ago. I was just waiting for the right time to re-open.

Carla- That's great Sammy! To bad SHE is here to ruin the mood.

Diane: [peers over her purse] Oh good, glad we're friends again. So how are the kids Carla? Have you managed to pop out a few extras while I was away?

(Norm comes in)

Norm: Afternoon everybody..

Sam: Hey Norm. What can I get you?

EVERYONE: NORM!!

Diane: Norman. Nice to see you again, Norman.

Diane: [her cell phone rings] Oh! That must be the man from my job interview. [she answers] Hello? Mr. Simmons? Yes, this is Diane Chambers. Really? Oh Really? You want to see me tonight? [Diane laugh] I do love your puns! Yes, I can be there in ten minutes. [she hangs up] I think this means I got the job! He wants to tell me in person. Well, it was wonderful to see you all again! [She leaves]

OOC: will be back shortly

Sam: I'm just going to go into my office and make a few calls. Carla, you make sure Norm doesn't have too much beer, unless he can pay for it. [smiles] I love this job!

[Sam enters his office]

Diane: [walks in] Hello, everyone! [smiles] Pop open a bottle of champagne, because Diane Chambers is now an editor for Morehouse&Sons Publishing!

Sam: [hears the news and comes out of his office] Well, congratulations, Diane. Let me pour you a glass. [gets out the champagne, but Sam smells like after shave]

Diane: Thank you, Sam. [Takes a whiff of his scent and fans her nose] I see you still use that same oh-so-subtle aftershave.

Sam: Yes, it's called "For Sexy Men Only." It never bothered you before. [pours them both a glass of champagne...] Here you go, Diane.

Diane: [Smiles and takes the drink] I suppose one gets accustomed to it...much like one gets accustomed to the mould on the bathroom ceiling! [Laughs] No, seriously - how have you been?

Sam: [leans on the counter] I've been great...[notices that he poured himself a glass of champagne] Silly me. I'm an alcoholic. [throws it out and gets a selzer] I guess I have my mind on other things today.

Diane: Well that's great...[her cell phone rings again] Oh excuse me. [picks up] Hello? Oh hello, dear. Yes, I'm fine. Yes I got the job. No I haven't looked for a place yet - I haven't had time. So you're flying in next week? I can't wait to see you, angel-pie! Yes...[laughs] I love you too. [hangs up] Sorry, that was Dennis. Oh you probably know him - he played for a short while in the L.A. Lakers - they used to call him "Dennis, the slamdunker" - no imagination, I know.

Diane: I know, I know what you're all thinking. What's a woman like me, raised to converse and dine with Kings, doing with another jock-type? [Diane laugh]

Diane: Seriously - I think he's the right one. Yes [*twitch*]. I just love my fella [*twitch*].

Sam: Good for you, Diane. I think Cindy and I are taking in a late night movie tonight. [stretches his arms out] Good thing I keep in shape. [leans over the counter] So, he's a basketball player, huh?

Diane: Oh...Cindy? Is she uh one of the ones from your little black book? Yes he's an EX basketball player. True, he may not be the brightest, the most refined, the most erudite man I've ever met...but he uh...he [searching for words]...he really adores me.

Sam: I'm glad you found someone else. I'm happy for you and Denise, excuse me, Dennis...[gets out his black book] I haven't gone through this thing in ages. Cindy Morris is not like the other girls I've dated. She has a law degree.

Diane: Oh! A law degree? How did you manage to meet her? Let me guess: you were hauled into court and needed a lawyer?

Diane: Oh! A law degree? How did you manage to meet her? Let me guess: you were hauled into court and needed a lawyer?

Sam: Wrong, again, Diane. I met her at one of those stupid parties Rebecca dragged me to. Instead of getting Rebecca, I got Cindy and boy is she great.

Diane: Oh...well....that's great, Sam. I'm very happy for you. It's nice to know that, even after all these years, we can still be friends. Wasn't it Mary Wollstonecraft who said that "friendship is the most sublime of all affections, because it is founded on principle, and cemented by time." I think we're a fine example of that bond.

Sam: I see you're still know your poetry. [laughs] Remember when I got my poem published in that poets book and you didn't? [still laughs]

Diane: [laughs through her teeth] As I recall, that was MY poem, Sam. Which YOU plagiarized. And Wollstonecraft isn't a poet - she was a feminist writer. [laughs] Which reminds me of the other day when [laughs] Dennis asked me if Tolstoy was a Russian dictator! [Diane laugh]

Woody- Hey everybody look what I found at the store.(pulls out a box of Scooby Doo cereal and puts on a huge grin) It's cereal with Scooby Doo on it. Look Sam aint' that great. Look and here's the best part (takes out some of the cereal and eats it). Wow this stuff is good!

Sam: Oh, please, Diane. [takes a drink of selzer water] I know what you're trying to do and it won't work. You can't out smart ole Sammy here. I know your tricks. You're trying to make me jealous with this athletic jock friend of yours, but it's not going to work! [goes into his office]

[Sam opens his office door]

Sam: Woody, get in here!

Diane: ....Oh that's wonderful, Woody. What wonderous things will Kellogs think of next?
Oh dear, I think I've upset Sam. He must think I'm making Dennis up like the last time... when I had Reed pose as my husband.

Woody- (follows Sam in) ok Sam what is you wanted to talk to me about?

Sam: Woody, sit down. [points to the couch; Sam put his hands over his face] Woody, she's driving me nuts! I try to be polite to her and she goes on and on about her boyfriend. If I weren't an alcholic, I'd have a drink right now!

Woody- Sam she's just trying to be nice.

Sam: But does she have to be so damn...I just want to hit her sometimes.

Diane: [still out in the bar - her phone rings] Hello? Dennis? What's the matter? Calm down [getting increasingly impatient]. No, dear, you push then you twist. Right - [starting to tap her fingers nervously] No problem, dear - I know how much you like your Flintstones Vitamins. Byebye now - No, Dennis - I really have to go now...Oh just open the damn thing! It's childproof, for heavens sakes! Oh no...don't cry - [getting red with impatience] byebye now - I...love you too. [hangs up]

Sam: Woody, I need some air. I think I'm going to go back to apartment and watch an old western. [leaves his office, glances at Diane] Carla, take over for me, won't ya? [leaves]

Lilith [opens door]: Damn. I spend more time in this God-forsaken place then Frasier used to.

[Sits on 'her' stool across the bar from Norm's]

Woody- (walks out of Sam's office) Ms.Chambers how long have you and your boyfriend been together?

Diane: [To Woody] Oh about a month...why do you ask?

[To Lilith] Hello, Lilith. You're in a chipper mood. I'm afraid Sam has left in a hurry - maybe it was something I said. How are things with you?

Lilith: I'm fine. Now, will someone get me a Scotch?

Woody-(gets Lilith a Scotch) So what brings you by here Dr.Sternin?

Lilith: Thank you Woody. And, if you must know, after Frasier announced his move to Chicago, I..decided to take a walk. I found myself at the door to this bar, and after I saw that it was open, I threw caution to the wind and came back in. 'Nother Scotch please Woody.

Diane: Oh? Have you spoken with Frasier recently? I gather you two are still good friends.

(Norm is sittin at the bar on his stool)

Norm: Can't a man get a beer around here?

Lilith: Yes. He actually called me just the other day..but I haven't seen him since November. We..

Woody- (gets Lilith another Scotch) Oh I see

Diane: You what?

(Norm sitting there ignored)

Norm: Anyone?

Diane: Here - let me do it. I still remember my old days as a waitress here. There's no bartending skill I mastered more than drawing a beer for my old friend, Norman. [gets behind the bar and rolls up her sleeves in a very prissy manner] Now...which one's the beer again?

Woody- I'm sorry Mr.Peterson how's a beer sound?

Norm: Finally Woody, I was about to go to Gary's. I want a beer.

Diane: Maybe you ought to handle this one, Woody. [she goes back to her stool]

Random customer: Hey...didn't you used to be waitress here?

Diane: Why, yes!

Random customer: Yeah...I remember you...boy when you left everything changed..things just weren't the same.

Diane: [flattered] Oh..well thank you.

Random: Yeah - people stopped having to wait an hour for their drinks - and they even got what they ordered for!

Diane: [tightening her lips] Oh...you're too kind.

Woody- (pours Norm a beer) Here you are Mr.Peterson. Have you seen this. (pulls out the Scooby Doo cereal again) Isn't this great

Lilith [gets behind bar and gets Norm a beer]: God. Was it really that hard?

Originally posted by DianeDiane
Diane: You what?

Lilith: Spent the night in my hotel room. Talking, watching movies. We were actually supposed to have dates, but they..canceled.

Diane: Oh...I see. So he's moving to Chicago now. I suppose he won't be dropping by for this little reunion, now, will he?

Woody- It'd be great to se Dr.Crane again. I'd bet he'd get a kick out of this cereal

Originally posted by DianeDiane
Diane: Oh...I see. So he's moving to Chicago now. I suppose he won't be dropping by for this little reunion, now, will he?

Lilith: I....I....I honestly have no idea.

Diane: Yes, I'd like to see him again too. It's wonderful to do this sort of thing, you know - to be able to confront your past...over and over again. Really cleanses the soul, you know.

Woody- So Dr.Sternin what have you been doing all these years?

Woody-(looks and sees his cereals empty) Uh oh (runs out to get more cereal)

OOC- I'll be back lata

Originally posted by CheersChild4life
Woody- So Dr.Sternin what have you been doing all these years?

Lilith: Well Woody..I've been..writing books..taking patients..raising Freddie..

Diane: Ah yes - the life of an independent career woman, a single mother. We women have come a long way, haven't we. [cell phone rings] Dennis? Not now! [turns away and whispers into the phone] The grape flavored toothpaste is in the second cabinet - that's right. Bye. [hangs up] If only we could say the same about the men...

Lilith [blinks]: Right Diane.

Diane: Indeed. So- [phone rings yet again] Oh dear Lord! [rolls her eyes] Excuse me, but I'm going to take this call outside. [She leaves]

OOC: I may be back later on.

[Walks out of the bar.]

ooc-I think I'm done for the night. I'll be back tomorrow!

(Norm looks around and sees noone is there and smiles.)

Norm: Free beer, now this is the life

Cliff: now, now Normie we couldn't possibly steal Sammy's beer......then again we could just borrow it.

[Sam walks into the bar, turns on the light and stands behind the bar....then he goes into the pool room]

Diane: [walks in and sees Cliff and Norm asleep and smelling like gallons of beer] Oh no - did somebody leave these two alone in the bar?

[Sam comes out of the pool room and straight into his office]

Diane: Oh hi, Sam - [just as he goes into his office. She knocks on the door] May I come in? You left rather abruptly last night, and I'm afraid that I may have been the cause. Could we talk for a minute?

Sam: [sitting in his chair; thinking position] Fine. Come on in.

Diane: [comes in, smiling and looks around] Aw, this feels just like old times. I see you haven't changed the decor [laughs]. Well, Sam, I wanted to appologize for whatever it is that I may have said last night that upset you. Now that I'm moving back to this city, we're bound to run into each other. And I do miss this bar - I want to be able to come by here every now and then. We're still friends, aren't we?

Sam: This was all Rebecca's doing. I'll have this place looking like it's old self in no time. [places a "Sports Illustrated" on the shelf] There. Looks more like my office already. [sits on his desk] You didn't upset me. I just needed some extra time to get everything perfect for Cindy. [going to his filing cabinet, acting as though he didn't care] Friends? Right. Sure, Diane.

Diane: Oh...so you and Cindy are in some kind of serious relationship? And in your case, I guess that would mean more than 4 dates [smiles].

Sam: You could say that...yeah. [dreams state] God, she's perfect. [snaps out of it] So, was that Dennis on the phone last night?

Diane: [sticks her nose in the air - higher than usual, that is] Yes, it was. He uh...wanted to tell me how much he missed me. [sighs and smiles] He's such a sweet man. So, I guess we're both where we want to be. Both in fulfilling relationships. I'd say we have a lot in common now.

Sam: Yeah. [laughs] Right. I guess we do. [gets up] I better go wake up Norm and Cliff...You have a wonderful life, ok?

Diane: [smiles] Thanks Sam. [ponder for a moment and follows him out] Hey, wait a minute! That last remark of yours sounded dismissive. Do you mean you don't want to be friends? That we should behave like strangers in each other's presence?

Sam: All I meant was, have a wonderful life...you left here twice, what makes you think you won't again? [goes and cleans off the tables]

Diane: Oh...well I guess I deserve that. [mumbles almost inaudibly] Although somebody could have gone after me...[then in a clear voice] But the important thing is that I'm staying this time. So whether you like it or not, you'll have to withstand seeing my face in this bar every now and then. Carla didn't stop me, and neither will you. Who knows, I may even make this a habit and spend every afternoon here.

Sam: Fine. If you want to work at Cheers, work at Cheers! You did for four years the last time. [drapes the towel over his shoulder] And another thing...nevermind. You better get to work. Get some coffee for Cliff and Norm, here.

Diane: [releases a particularly snooty "Diane laugh" as she stares at Sam] You think [laughs] you think I want to work here? [laughs some more] Please, Sam. I'm past that stage - I'm an editor now. I start next week. [laughs] Oh, I'm glad you still have your sense of humor [laughs]. [Looks longingly at that old apron and is awfully quick to accept the proposal] But since I'm here and you seem short of staff, I wouldn't mind helping you out today [ties on her apron]. Oh, what a comfort it is to get back to that old routine. [makes Cliff and Norm some coffee]

Sam: Good girl. [gets out the pretzels] Where is Carla when I need her? [looks over at Diane, who is bending over picking up her pencil; Sam covers his face and turns away] No, no, no.

Diane: [picks up her pencil and smiles] Good. Pen, pencil, pen, pencil, pad. So Sam, my boss gave me these two tickets for an Indian Buddhist sandstone sculpture exhibit at the Museum of Art. Do you know of anybody who would want to join me?

Originally posted by Princess Feenster
Sam: Good girl. [gets out the pretzels] Where is Carla when I need her? [looks over at Diane, who is bending over picking up her pencil; Sam covers his face and turns away] No, no, no.

Carla: Hey Sammy, what's up?

Diane: Carla! [shields her face with her tray] Let me be the first to tell you...I'm helping Sam out by working here....but it's temporary - until I start my new job and he finds a new waitress. So no need to go crazy this time.

Sam: [to Diane] Hold that thought. [to Carla] Carla, would you come into my office, please?

[Sam looks under the tables]

Sam: Where did Carla go?

Diane: Oh no...she fainted...

Sam: [gets down on the floor] Carla, it's Sam. Can you hear me? [gets up] Damnit! It's a sign! I just know it! [to Diane] Get some water.

Diane: [gets some water] A sign? A sign of what?

Diane: [gets some water] A sign? A sign of what?

Sam: A sign that..that...oh hell! I'm not a one woman man! Who am I kidding? I could go into my little black book and pick out any number of women....[goes behind the bar, gets it, and opens it] Yeah, yeah..."M's"...Megan, Marcy, Melanie, Maria, Mandy....Oh yeah, Mandy. [sighs] It's silly that I could still care for y--[closes the book and goes into his office]

Diane: [beaming at the spectacle. Once he leaves, she says to herself in a sing-song voice] Seems like someone is having trouble confronting their feelings again!

Diane: [knocks on Sam's door]Sam? Would this be a bad time to ask you to go to the Buddhist sandstone sculpture exhibit with me?

[There's a crash coming from inside his office]

Sam: [yells] Damnit!

Diane: [hearing the crash runs into the office] What's going on? [sees Sam on the floor covered in dusty junk and helps him up] Are you all right?

Sam: [groans] Do I look alright? [looks around] Oh great, I lost my black book! [puts hands over his face and sits on the couch] Why does this always happen to me? I hate this office. I hate what Rebecca did to this office. I hate that I screwed up so many times...I just hate life.

Diane: [sits on the arm of the couch and pats his back] Oh, come on, Sam. I'm sure Cliff and Norm have made copies of your little black book by now. And all your office needs is a little spring cleaning. And yes, you do screw up an awful lot, but it's not the end of the world. Oh isn't this great? You confiding in me - just like old times. See, Sam? We ARE friends. This is a new phase in both our lives. Who was it who said - "friendship is like love minus *cough* sex, plus reason."

Sam: [takes hands from face and looks at her] You won't want to have sex, say, now, would you?

Diane: [rolls her eyes but laughs] You haven't changed, have you. Now, Sam - I think, as friends, we should do things that friends would do together. Such as...accompanying me to the exhibit? It's later tonight. I know you don't like that sort of thing - but I think a little intellectual stimulation might be good for you. As I see it, you've been running on your hormones far too much lately.

Sam: An exhibit? [sinks into the couch] Why must I put myself through this torture and not get something back in return...[looks at Diane, giving him a pity look] Ah...ok, fine. I'll go.

Woody- Hey everybody (looks around) where is everyone?

Diane: Oh goody!! Trust me, Sam, you WILL get something back in return. [he gives her a suggestive look] Not that! You'll come out of there with a newfound appreciation of religious art and nonwestern culture. Oh! This'll be so much fun! [she gives him a hug] I must run back to the hotel now and change - and then we can go to the exhibit!

Oh hello, Woody! Will you watch the bar? Sam and I are going to an exhibit.

OOC: will be back later tonight

Sam: Ok, fine...but if you go out with me tonight, you'll be the one paying! [hanging outside his office, then walking over to Woody] Hey, Woody. Did you get more cereal?

Diane: Yes, yes, I'll pay for everything. And this isn't a date - we're going out as friends. Oh I have to hurry if we're going to make it in time. Meet me at the hotel! Bye, everybody! [she leaves]

Originally posted by Princess Feenster
Sam:
Hey, Woody. Did you get more cereal?

Woody- Yeah this stuff is great. I was thinking about it last night I'm gunna write a letter to Kellogs you know on the sides it says call or write for comments or complaints well I got a lot of comments

Sam: Could you see if you can wake up Carla, there, Woody? She's on the floor. I don't think she was expecting to see Diane when she came to work today. [laughs]

Woody- Yeah this stuff is great. I was thinking about it last night I'm gunna write a letter to Kellogs you know on the sides it says call or write for comments or complaints well I got a lot of comments

Sam: That good, Woody. Take care of Carla. [leaps over the bar] I need to go out and buy some studdly cologne. Maybe some Ralph Lauren...speaking of that, [puts on his jacket] I think I'm going to write to Tommy Hillfiger and have him make a cologne called, "All night Sammy." [opens the door] Night, Woody. You close up tonight, won't ya? [leaves]

Frasier walks into the empty bar, looks around for Sam

Frasier: The doctor, is back.

(nobody responds and he leaves)

Sam: [entering the bar; groaning sigh] What a night. [gets behind the bar, grabs a selzer] I can't believe I was talked into a night of misery. [takes a drink]

Diane: [walks in cheerfully] Good morning, Sam! Sorry I'm late. [puts on her apron] I stayed up late last night reading that book I got at the exhibit. Wasn't it wonderful, by the way? Who knew Buddhist monks could put a modern twist on religious iconography, huh?

Sam: It was an interesting evening, Diane. Let's not forget that I bought a book, too. I flipped through it last night, and decided to have that naked buddist framed. [takes another drink of selzer]

Diane: Haha - I know it wasn't your idea of fun. But I wanted to thank you - you behaved a lot better than that time I took you to the Norwegian woodcutting exhibit.

Sam: [laugh] Now that was stupid. [takes a drink] But why did you have to talk through that entire exhibit? I could read the facts, myself, you know!

Diane: I know you can read - but you never seem to make use of that skill - you glance and walk by the displays as if you were at some meat market choosing a side of beef! Excuse me for trying to enlighten you.

Sam: I accept your apology.

Originally posted by Princess Feenster
Sam: Could you see if you can wake up Carla, there, Woody? She's on the floor. I don't think she was expecting to see Diane when she came to work today. [laughs]

Carla: Please don't tell me shes working here, again.

Diane: [throws down her bar rag] That wasn't an appology *hmf*. [picks up the rag and continues to wipe down the bar and mumbles] If anything you should appolize to me - my olfactory senses were completely desensitized by that pungent cologne you practically bathed in!

Originally posted by MaydayMalonesGirl
Carla: Please don't tell me shes working here, again.

Diane: Hi Carla...it's only temporary...[backs away slowly]

Carla- SAMMY?! Why do you insist on putting me through this torture? What did I ever do to you?

Diane: [throws down her bar rag] That wasn't an appology *hmf*. [picks up the rag and continues to wipe down the bar and mumbles] If anything you should appolize to me - my olfactory senses were completely desensitized by that pungent cologne you practically bathed in!

Sam: Diane, this cologne happens to be Tommy Hillfigers, "Lust and Passion," something we lack, sweetheart! And I'd never give you the satisfaction, even if you got down on all fours, sat up and begged!

[storms into his office, dragging Carla with him]

Diane: [just as he walks into the office] ...I never! Well at least we know it's mutual! [she goes and waits on a customer]

Originally posted by Princess Feenster
Sam: Diane, this cologne happens to be Tommy Hillfigers, "Lust and Passion," something we lack, sweetheart! And I'd never give you the satisfaction, even if you got down on all fours, sat up and begged!

[storms into his office, dragging Carla with him]

[Sam and Carla are in the office] Carla: Hey Sammy, what was that all about?

Sam: Carla, have you ever felt like killing someone? [puts his hands over his eyes]

Carla: Plenty of times. Oo, your talking about Diane. If you do the dirty work, I'll cover for you.

Sam: Carla, I think it's time that I let Diane go. I can't stand having her around without picturing her in a way that I can't have her in, you know? That's ancient history. I learned that last night when I was yawning every five minutes.

Carla: YES! LET HER GO! Kick her out Sammy, it'll be the smartest thing you've done in years.

Sam: Ok, I'll do it. [gives Carla a friend guy punch] Thanks, Carla. [goes out into the bar and sees Diane] Diane, we need to talk.

[Carla follows after Sam with a smile]

Diane: Sam? I'm in the middle of serving this gentleman. What is it?

Gentleman: [whispers to Sam] For goodness sakes - take her! I can't stand listening to her go on about Buddhist sculptures.

Sam: Diane, uh, I need you to talk to me at the end of the bar.

Diane: Oh all right. [to the gentleman, she smiles] I'll tell you the rest when I come back! [she follows Sam to the back]

[Carla follows behind Sam & Diane, still with a huge smile]

Sam: Diane, you know we've had some good times in the bar, but that was all in the past. I know you love this place, and I'm sure the costumers love having you here, and Carla does, too, I think. Well, what I'm trying to say is...[rubs his face with his hand] I didn't think this would be as hard as it is, but....Diane, I can't have you around here, anymore. I'm letting you go, as temporary waitress. You have your other job. Carla is back, so you can go.

Diane: Wha...? [shocked, she slumps down on a chair and covers her face with her hands] ooooooh......[she wails] Ok [swallows] Sam...ooooooh [ sobs] Ok...I'll go....oooooooooh [sobs some more] Where am I going to go? oooooooh [sob] I don't have a job! [continues to cry]

Originally posted by DianeDiane
Diane: Wha...? [shocked, she slumps down on a chair and covers her face with her hands] ooooooh......[she whines...] Ok, Sam...ooooooh [ she starts to sob] Ok...I'll go....oooooooooh [sobs some more] Where am I going to go? oooooooh [sob] I don't have a job!

Carla: Oh brother, don't cry. Whenever you cry Sam ends up feeling bad and doing something stupid. Remember when he proposed to you?

Sam: You don't have a what?

Carla: Oh brother, don't cry. Whenever you cry Sam ends up feeling bad and doing something stupid. Remember when he proposed to you?

Sam: Carla, you're looking at the new Sammy. The new Sammy don't fall for any of that.

Diane: [sniff] I know, Carla - I won't put Sam on the spot now...oooooh [sobs] ....I made the editing thing up so you all wouldn't think I was a failure. Nobody in L.A. will hire me or even look at my scripts! And I can't stand Dennis anymore! After my divorce, I can't bear to stay around for another break up, so I told him I was getting a job here, hoping we would eventually just drift apart - I needed to get away. The only thing I could think of was Cheers...but I see that's not going to work....ooooooh [sobs some more]

Sam: [slaps both hands over this face, takes a drink of selzer, gets behind Diane and massages her shoulders, gently] Diane, don't cry. I don't have to let you go. You're the best waitress I got. [looks at Carla and winks] You can stay if you really want to.

Diane: [sniffs and wipes her eyes with her apron] Oh I don't want to put pressure on you [gives him the most pitiful look ever]. I'm not one to manipulate people into doing things....but [sniff] if you really mean it, then I greatly appreciate it, Sam. And I want to make it up to you - and you too Carla. I know this isn't easy for you to take.

Sam: [smiles; leans over Diane] You can make it up to me tonight. How about dinner at my place?

Diane: Oh, Sam! Come on...if this is going to work this time, we need to prove to each other that we can be professionals around each other. Oh - and I would be very grateful if you didn't tell anybody about my...failed career - which isn't exactly a failure - [trying to convince herself] I just think I need to go back to my roots...you know....Every brilliant writer has had to travel on a bumpy road at some point.

Sam: Yeah, you're right, Diane. We'd never work. [laughs] We weren't right for each other in the beginning. [dream state] I wonder what Candy is doing right now? I haven't seen her in fifteen years. I bet she still looks nice.

Originally posted by Princess Feenster
Sam: [slaps both hands over this face, takes a drink of selzer, gets behind Diane and massages her shoulders, gently] Diane, don't cry. I don't have to let you go. You're the best waitress I got. [looks at Carla and winks] You can stay if you really want to.

Carla: SAM! God. Whitey someday, somehow Im gonna get you out of here for good.

Originally posted by Princess Feenster
Sam: [smiles; leans over Diane] You can make it up to me tonight. How about dinner at my place?

Carla: ICK. Hey Sammy, I need to take the rest of the afternoon off and try to shake the memory of this terrible scene.

OOC: I'll be back tonight. :wave:

Diane: [To Sam] Candy? Whatever happend to Cindy? [smirks]
[To Carla] Aww, Carla - I can honestly say that I've missed your acerbic wit. All right - you go on out. I'll take this shift. I owe it to you.

Sam: Oh, uh, Cindy, she--her grandmother died last night. We had to end our date early. She'll be in Omaha for some time. In fact, I think she told me she's moving there once she becomes a nun...excuse me, I need to make a quick phone call]

[Sam goes into his office]

Diane: [smiles cunningly] Right, Mr. Malone. [goes over to that gentleman] So! As I was saying, the Buddhist monks of the 7th century were actually...[she goes on to bore him for a while]

[Sam, pacing back and forth in his office]

Sam: Why is she driving me crazy? Why didn't I fire her? Why do I care so much? Why am I talking to myself?! [lands face first on the couch] God, take me now.

Diane: [knocks on his door and says in a sing-song voice] Oh, Sam! Those drinks aren't going to make themselves, you know![says smugly, but under her breath so nobody hears] He's still crazy about me.

Sam: [groans] I need another selzer. She's making my stomache hurt. [gets up, walks back into the bar; says rather loudly] Well, I guess I still have it. Candy wants ole "May Day Malone."

Diane: Oh really? So what's Candy like? Is she one of the ones who can order dinner at the drive thru and chew gum at the same time?

Sam: She's actually none of those things. She's kind of like you, only fun.

Diane: Is that so...well I guess she'd have to like "fun". What else would an intelligent woman want from you other than fun? I need two pitchers of beer, by the way.

[Sam gets the pitchers, fills them up and hands them to her]

Sam: Here you go, Diane. Try not to trip over the my dead body , cause I'd never have fun with you, ag--I mean, ever!

Diane: Sure, Sam [she smiles]. But note: you're the one who keeps bringing "us" up. And, if you recall, I haven't exactly broken up with Dennis...yet. [she takes the pitchers to the table and waits on another customer]

[Candy walks into the bar, sees Sam and smiles big]

Candy: Hello, Sam. I saw this place was still here, so I opened the door, and here I am.

Sam: [surprised and smiling so that Diane won't get suspicious] Candy, hi. It's been a long time and you look great. Do you want to sit down and we can catch up? [so Diane can hear] Oh, you think I'm hot? Well, we'll have fun later, just you and me.

[they sit down in a booth and talk]

Diane: [surprised to see that Candy is real - but seeing her bubbliness, regains a little confidence] Oh so YOU'RE Candy? Let me introduce myself - I'm Diane Chambers [extends her hand for a shake]. It's a pleasure to meet you - Sam has told me a lot about you...he regards your culture and intellect in very high esteem.

Candy: [giggles] Me and Sam made a lot of steam in his car back when we dated. He was dreamy and a good kisser.

Sam: Aw, go on.

Candy: [gets up] Ok, but it was nice meeting you, Diane.

Sam: No, Candy, I meant, go on some more about me. How was the sex?

Candy: [smiling with embarrassment] Oh, Sam, really.

Sam: How was I on a scale from one to infinity?

Candy: You were the best, Sam. Thanks to you I was able to use some of your moves on my husband.

Diane: [laughs and smiles cleverly at Sam] It was nice to meet you too, Candy. For some reason, I don't think I'm going to have any trouble guessing what your "major" was. If you'll excuse me [goes over to the bar to load her tray].

[Candy gets up and gives Sam and hug and kiss before leaving]

Sam: Bye, Candy! I'll call you!

[Candy leaves, and Sam goes behind the bar trying to forget what just happened]

Sam: [whistles a made up tune]

Diane: Just like me, but fun, huh? Well I guess that's accurate if "fun" happens to take a toll on one's brain cells [smirks].

Sam: You've really got to have a sense of humor, Diane. [laughs]

[Sam goes into his office]

Sam: [to Diane] I'll be in there if you need me.

Diane: [frowns] Well I'll have you know that in my sorority I was voted the girl with the best sense of humor. Everybody LOVED my puns. Or shall I say - they fancied my fancy with words! [laughs at her own joke as Sam rolls his eyes and enters his office]

Woody- Hey everybody

Diane: Hello, Woody! I'm afraid you're going to have to take on the bar yourself for a while - Sam isn't in one of his best moods.

Oh, and you might as well know - I'm going to be working full time here now. To help Sam out, you know.

Diane: Woody, that table over there wants two martinis - dry. [smiles] Ah, this job feels like walking in old, comfortable shoes [sighs].

Woody- Sure thig Ms.Chambers (mixes a martini) So Ms.Chambers I was just wondering why did you take a job at Cheers if you got that big fancy writing english job?

Diane: Uh....You see, Woody...sometimes you have to make choices in life...I made a choice a long time ago between working here at Cheers and focusing on my career as a writer. Now that I'm...[lying through her teeth] pretty well established in my field, I've decided to help out Sam for a while by working here. He needed another waitress...I was there...you know how these things happen.

Woody- Oh I get it. Well I'm happy to have you back Ms.Chambers.

Diane: Aw, thank you, Woody.

Woody- Morning everybody.

Frasier: (walks in, hungover) (sarcastically....) NOW you're here!! Pour 'em up Woody. Im gonna need it after that whole fiasco.

Diane: [Walks in] Hello, everyone! Frasier? How nice to see you again!...what are you doing here? [Goes to put on her apron]

Originally posted by DianeDiane
Diane: [Walks in] Hello, everyone! Frasier? How nice to see you again!...what are you doing here? [Goes to put on her apron]

Frasier: It's a long story, and you wouldn't care. But I'm telling you anways.
A little over 2 weeks ago, my father got married, my brother had his firstborn, and Charlotte, my most recent love interest, had moved to Chicago. Fast forward to last week, I take a job offer in San Fransisco, say my final goodbyes to my family -- but suprise them all, including myself -- by moving to Chicago chasing after Charlotte.
Then, now its Thursday, I get to Chicago, and finally track down Charlotte -- only to find her in bed with her ex-husband.
Turns out that they weren't divorced at all, it was only a seperation.
I couldnt take it, so I left.
I didn't want to go crawling back to Seattle, and the San Fransisco job had already been filled.
So I did the most, and at the same time least, logical thing and moved back to Boston.
Which brings me here.
And no, I havent spoken to Lilith about any of this yet.

Diane: Oh, Frasier. I'm so sorry. Seems like both of us have come running back to Boston like babes to their mothers' arms. I bet you couldn't picture ME as a waitress again - but here I am...[mumbles] after everything fell through in L.A. [sighs] Ah well. "Home again, home again, home again!"

Diane: Well I better get started serving my customers - I'm sure they've missed the little droplets of wisdom that I used to sprinkle around in this desert of banality [laughs and goes off to do her job].

OOC: i'll be away for a few hours - Diane is "working" or boring her customers to death. But, please, carry on!

Sam: [comes out of his office] I'm not going to allow her to drive me to the nut house. [leaves the bar]

[One Hour later...]

Kelly: [enters the bar, looking for Woody] Woody? [sits down at a table]

Diane: Oh you're Kelly, right? I'm Diane Chambers [shakes her hand]. Woody just stepped out for a minute - he should be back shortly. Is there something I can help you with?

Kelly: I just got back from this terrible accident that happened and Woody's friend was sent to the hospital.

Diane: Good Lord! [sits down at the table next to her] Is he all right?

Random Customer: Hey, missy! Are we ever gonna get our drinks or do we have to wait for you to lecture her too?

Diane: [smiles] I'll be with you in a minute! [turns to Kelly] So tell me.

Kelly: I didn't want to go to the hospital until I told Woody. He's very close to Woody and he's been Woody's bar friend for a long time.

Diane: Oh dear...who is he?

Random customer: [grumbles] Somebody should make this bar self-service.

Kelly: You work here, right? You might know him...Sam Malone. He used to be some sort of baseball player...