Joy Bryant reveals why she doesn't want children as she hits out at the 'rude' people

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Parenthood isn't for everyone — including one of the stars of the NBC show by the same name.

Joy Bryant, who played a mother-of-three on the hit TV series until it wrapped in 2015, says she has no intention of becoming a mom herself, and feels quite comfortable with that decision. Unfortunately, everyone else seems to have a problem with it.

In an essay for Lenny Letter, the 41-year-old actress lists all of the nosy, not-their-business and definitely not-the-point opinions she's heard from friends and strangers alike, who have urged her to have a baby with arguments like 'you’ll be such a good mother' and 'you’ll have beautiful children' — and she breaks down just why comments like those are inappropriate.

It's not that Joy just isn't yet ready for children, or that she's trying to get pregnant and having trouble — both of which would also be good reasons for not asking her about her procreating plans — but rather that Joy simply doesn't want to be a mother and, as she explains, that's nobody's business but hers and her husband's.

But even though plenty of people don't think twice before 'being impolite, or insensitive, or invasive, or just straight-up rude' by asking her when she plans to have a baby, Joy notes that she always bites her tongue and answers back politely.

'I, as the recipient, must keep my cool and either explain myself or gracefully defend myself,' she wrote. 'They’re lucky I’m a classy broad. I know people don’t mean any harm, but this really shouldn’t be an issue at all, because what I choose to do or not do with my womb should be of no concern to anyone but my husband.'

Exacerbating the problem is that fact that so many people don't just drop the issue when Joy tells them she doesn't 'have the need to breed' — they push, trying to convince her to change her mind about a major decision that she's given plenty of thought to.

And, Joy notes, their 'reasons' why she should have a baby aren't even good ones.
Some tell her that she and her husband of eight years, stuntman Dave Pope, would have 'beautiful children' — as if knowing they'd be beautiful is alone a great justification for procreating.

'I should commit to one of the toughest jobs in the world, all for the sake of populating the planet with a super-human specimen of good breeding? No, thanks. I’m good,' she wrote.

Some insist that Joy would be 'such a good mother', to which she retorts in the essay (but not in real life): 'I’d be a good competitive eater, too, doesn’t mean I should.'

Others insist that motherhood is 'so much fun', which Joy highlight doubts, while some implausibly link the fact that she played a 'good mom on Parenthood' to the probability that she'd be a good mom in real life.

As Joy so patiently points out, Parenthood was just a TV show — so if anyone thinks she seemed like a good mom, she'll take it as a compliment of her acting skills.

Then there are the people — whether they be close friends, acquaintances, or even strangers — who throw out sexist and outdated arguments, reminding her that her biological clock is ticking and she should 'just give [her husband] a baby already'.

As for the biological clock, she says, she's not concerned, since she 'rocks the clock for fashion, not function'.

And to those who imply that it's her duty to give her husband children? She says that this one 'really hurts'.

'We are talking about a human being who should be wanted by the people who created her,' she wrote. 'When a married couple is thinking about bringing life into the world, both partners should be on board.
At the end of the day, she explains, whether or not she wants to be a parent is her choice, and nobody else's. She doesn't feel that she needs to be a mother to be 'fulfilled', and that's up to her.

'We don’t have to be automatic breeders,' she said. 'My womb doesn’t belong to the world. It doesn’t even belong to my husband. It is mine and mine alone, and my womb should be free to live life as MY nature intended. And if that doesn’t include a child, that’s OK, because I’ve got plenty of love to give, and plenty of plans to help make the world a better place through something other than my offspring.'