Every Bizarre Plotline On ‘Sex And The City’ Actually Happened In Real Life

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http://uproxx.com/tv/sex-and-the-city-all-true/

In a new interview with IMDbAsks, Cynthia Nixon reveals that every bat-sh*t thing that happened on Sex and the City was based on a real event. “They had a rule in the writing that they couldn’t put anything in an episode that didn’t literally happen to someone in the writer’s room or someone they knew firsthand,” Nixon says. “It couldn’t be, like, my father’s brother’s sister’s shoe-repair guy heard once that, you know. So, the outlandish physical, sexual things that happened — they really did happen.”

Though it’s masquerading as a benign throwaway quote in a benign throwaway interview, Nixon’s quote has implications that will likely destroy the lives of millions of men and women alike, who’ve spent the past 18 years or so innocently believing Sex and the City to be some kind of lacquered urban fantasy. “Sure, Carrie has spent $40,000 on shoes on a writers’ salary, but this is a fairytale,” we all told ourselves as we duct-taped the tops of our Adidas sandals. “Sure, Samantha got pulled out of a ditch by Leonardo DiCaprio, but Leonardo DiCaprio certainly doesn’t frequent ditches in real life, no reason to hurl ourselves into ditches or anything.”

Turns out we were wrong, my friends. It was real. All of it was real. This is the kind of life-altering revelation that sends the mind reeling. Now is the time to ask ourselves: What is truth? What is beauty? What is love? What is Post-It? But before we fall down the rabbit hole of our freshly ruined lives, let’s review some of the more outlandish Sex and the City plotlines that we once thought to be mere folly, but know now to be 100 percent true: