D'Abo Smackdown: Olivia Vs. Maryam

[TMC]

http://lebeauleblog.com/2015/11/01/d...via-vs-maryam/

Posted by lebeau

In the eighties, if you were crushing on an English blonde actress, there was a pretty good chance her last name was D’abo. The D’abo clan gave the world not one but two lovely ladies who would star in not just movies and television, but also the fantasies of a generation of young boys. Or so I hear. It’s not like I watched Conan the Destroyer and The Living Daylights over and over again just for the D’abo factor.

In recent weeks, we’ve been talking about James Bond and the Golden Rasberries; two topics which inevitably lead us to the cousins D’abo. Odds are if you liked one actress, you were probably fond of the other as well. They share some truly spectacular DNA. But the time has come to make a choice. Who is your preferred D’abo? Olivia or Maryam.

Both Olivia and Maryam were born in London, England. They are separated by nine years; Maryam is the elder of the two. Olivia is the daughter of model and actress, Maggie London, and Mike d’Abo, from the 1960s group Manfred Mann. Maryam is Mike D’abo’s cousin making her Olivia’s first cousin once removed. Both actresses ended up in Hollywood in the early eighties, so they decided to buy a house together to save money on rent.

With intros out of the way, let’s get into the categories.

Category 1: Filmography

You could view this as a battle of quantity vs. quality. Neither actress has had a thriving movie career. Olivia has more mainstream Hollywood credits to her name. But the majority of them are supporting roles in movies like Wayne’s World 2, Point of No Return, Greedy and The Big Green. If you know Maryam at all, it’s probably from her turn as a Bond girl in The Living Daylights. In terms of volume, Maryam is overwhelmed by her younger cousin. But Olivia doesn’t have any starring roles in any mainstream movies that are as good as Maryam’s one stand-out. In terms of movies, Olivia is probably best known for playing the virginal princess protected by Wilt Chamberlain in Conan the Destroyer. and she won a Razzie for the Worst New Star for that performance.

While Olivia’s movie career lasted longer, it never really amounted to much. Maryam only had one starring role in a high profile movie, but it was one more than her cousin.

Winner: Maryam

Category 2: Television

Likely one of the reasons that Olivia’s movie career lasted longer than Maryam’s is that Olivia also did quite a bit of TV work. She’s done episodes of Growing Pains and Star Trek: The Next Generation. But she is best known for having played Fred Savage’s hippie sister in the long running TV show, The Wonder Years. Maryam also worked in television. But for the most part, it was guest spots on racy cable shows like Tales From the Crypt and Red Shoe Diaries.

This one isn’t really a contest. Olivia spent five years on a hit show. Maryam’s longest run on TV was eight episodes of a horror show called Something is Out There.

Winner: Olivia

Category 3: Hottest D’Abo

Is this category reductive? Sure. But these ladies didn’t become internationally famous (or semi-famous anyway) for their advanced theories in biophysics. Both Mayram and Olivia came into the public eye because they had the right look. And looking at their filmographies, neither one of them was shy about selling their sex appeal. One of Olivia’s first movies was the John Derek-Bo Derek opus, Bolero which like all John Derek movies is basically soft core porn. (Thanks to reader Jestak for pointing out that Olivia was only 14 when she did her first nude scene. Ew.)

Mayram may seem a bit more demure. She is after all the first Bond girl that 007 was monogamous to for an entire movie. But she promoted the movie with a pictorial in Playboy and appeared in the Red Shoe Diaries. Like all Zalman King productions, Red Shoe Diaries is a lot like soft core porn or a John Derek movie. So hotness may be a crude category, but I think it’s fair.

For this one, we’re going to need to consult photographic evidence.

Both d’Abo’s bring the heat. But Olivia’s hotness was thermonuclear.

Winner: Olvia

Category 4: Crushability

This one may be even more subjective than hotness. Olivia tended to play sexy ingenues. She was desirable, sure. But her characters didn’t necessarily inspire devotion. Her character on The Wonder Years may have inspired some crushes if she had been the center of the show. But her hippie big sister was definitely a supporting player in her younger brother’s story. She was usually causing family drama on the fringes of the show.

Maryam, on the other hand, won James Bond’s heart like few Bond babes before or since. If you rank the romantic relationships of 007, Kara Milovy has to be in the top five. If she was good enough for Bond, she was more than good enough for your teen crush.

Winner: Maryam

Category 5: Cool Factor

Olivia is a singer-songwriter. Let’s check out one of her songs:

Pretty cool, right? She’s also done a ton of voice work in video games and cartoons. She has voiced Black Widow, Star Sapphire and Jane from Tarzan. Those are all pretty cool items on her resume.

Here’s the problem. Maryam was a freaking Bond girl. Sorry, but there’s no matching that with cartoon voice overs.

Winner: Maryam

Overall Winner: Maryam d’Abo

I’m not going to lie. I started this article expecting to crown Olivia the victor. She’s actually my favorite d’Abo girl. But when you break it down and start assigning points, the Bond factor carries Maryam to the top.

Now it’s your turn. Who’s your favorite d’Abo?

[dwayne99]

What!

[dwayne99]

This ****ing site sucks!!! Bye..

[Torgo]

Had a crush on both as a kid in the 80's- Maryam in the 1982 scifi horror flick Xtro, and Olivia in Conan The Destroyer. I was more aware of Olivia later on because of The Wonder Years, Maryam played a Bond Girl in one of the more forgettable Bond movies and didn't really notice her in much besides that.

[dwayne99]

What!!!!