‘J. Peterman’ From ‘Seinfeld’ Reveals His Favorite Monologue That Never Made The Show - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

TMC · 06-29-2015, 12:47 AM

http://uproxx.com/tv/2015/06/j-peter...ite-monologue/

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By Andrew Roberts • 06.28.15

The Hollywood Reporter had a great chat with John O’Hurley, the man behind the fake ‘real’ J. Peterman on Seinfeld. O’Hurley is currently gearing up for a show on Travel Channel called Uncommon Goods with the real life John Peterman, but his interview focuses squarely on his time as Elaine’s memorable boss at the famous catalogue.

O’Hurley details how he came upon the role, recounting the pitch for the character and his first table read where Elaine manages to fall into her job:

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They gave me a copy of the catalogue. They said, “We just want him to sound the way the catalogue is written.” It was long adventure story about an Oxford button down. I said,”It sounds a little bit like a 40s radio drama combined with a little bit of a bad Charles Kuralt. That’s where the bombastic voice and the self important, “Mr. MaGoo, legend in his own mind” character kind of started. In the first episode, they hadn’t even finished writing the script when we did the table read. By the time they finished it, Elaine was working for me and I had a job. Everyone turned to me and said “looks like you have a job now.”

The actor notes that the classic sitcom wasn’t funny when he first read it, but it “performs funny.” He also goes over his favorite perk from the show during his time as Peterman, which makes the interview a must read for fans. The money is the cut Peterman monologue, lost from the Friar’s Club episode featuring Rob Schneider as the hard of hearing co-worker that Peterman believes is making romance with Elaine. This monologue comes from the moment when the catalogue mogul attempts to create a love connection before sending them off to the circus performance:

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Elaine, I too am no stranger to love on the clock. As a youngster, my father apprenticed me to a honey factory in Belize. The chief bee keeper was this horrible hag of a woman with gnarled teeth and a giant wart that she called a nose. Wooh! She was not attractive, even by backwoods standards. But love is truly blind, Elaine, and as the days went on, working closer and closer together, that sweet smell of honey in the air, I knew I had to have that horrible creature. And I did. So you and Bob have a good time tonight.

If you’re not reading that in his voice, perhaps this clip will help to push it into your head. Or you can go watch on Hulu, or just turn on your TV to a random channel. It’s sure to be on somewhere.