Gary Coleman raps: 9 oddities from Hollywood Squares’ 1987 Christmas episode

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http://www.avclub.com/article/gary-c...res-198-213056

1. Gary “The Outlaw” Coleman raps with Dion “The Indian” Mial

Heartwarming holiday-themed sitcom episodes and reruns of classic Christmas cartoons are TV’s way of insinuating itself into our December traditions. These broadcasts are meant to mingle with sparkling lights and tinsel as we reminisce in later years. But not all Christmas TV creates lasting memories. The culture largely forgot the December 25, 1987 episode of Hollywood Squares as soon as the credits rolled, because unlike its self-important primetime brethren, this daytime celebrity game show was intended to fill a time slot and then vanish.

Thanks to one obsessive fan with a VCR, it was preserved despite itself. (The full episode is above; there are clips throughout the article.) Twenty-seven years later, the recording has ripened into a trove of ’80s pop culture curiosities, as if every square in the game’s giant tic-tac-toe board offers a stocking stuffer made of failure.

Take Diff’rent Strokes star Gary Coleman, who occupied the lower-left square for this taping. When one of the kiddie contestants calls his name, dutiful host John Davidson pulls out a copy of Coleman’s new album. “It’s called The Outlaw And The Indian,” Davidson says, “and on this record, there’s love songs sung by the Outlaw—uh, by the Indian, and you’re the Outlaw, and you do rap against the beautiful songs, and it’s a very interesting album.” (If only there had been a reissue of The Outlaw And The Indian, they could have included this quote on the dust jacket.) Davidson isn’t on camera when he jokes that the record is “very thin,” so it sounds like the emcee is offering his review.

The album’s title song—maybe its only song—features Coleman in a duet with his friend Dion Mial. That would be the aforementioned Indian. (Mial also dabbled as a Michael Jackson impersonator; his mother would later claim that the Outlaw album failed because Jackson personally sabotaged it.) Around the time of the Squares taping, Coleman and Mial promoted the record on a syndicated talk show, a cultural happening seen directly above. First, the host introduces the duo with a “nerdy white guy raps!” routine that makes a compelling case for reparations. Then comes the performance. Coleman is the slacks-wearing-est gun in town, and Mial is a pair of jeans wearing the top half of a bobblehead doll. “Look at my jacked-up ride / Ain’t got no place to go inside,” Coleman sings. It rhymes.

In a post-song interview, Coleman references his countless regrets, lies about his mishandled finances, observes that he’s “not a very responsible person,” and shares his dream of becoming a short story writer. The audience laughs, on account of he is short.

[Mace Dolex]

Man that's sad, just only the year before Gary Coleman was the star of a successful show and then after he was resorting to game show appearances for income.

[ThomasE]

But everybody and their mother was appearing on game shows back in the 80's. It was the "in" thing.

[DJM77]

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Originally Posted by Mace Dolex

Man that's sad, just only the year before Gary Coleman was the star of a successful show and then after he was resorting to game show appearances for income.

In a way, I'm not that surprised that it had to end up that way. I'm guessing that Gary Coleman couldn't get another real starring vehicle after DS because he's health issues made him too much of a liability (and/or difficult to insure). Plus, Gary when you got right down to it, had a pretty limited acting range. This made it harder to take him seriously as an adult, leading man actor. I would like to say that his height was also a problem, but that didn't exactly kept people like say, Mickey Rooney or Danny DeVito from having long and successful careers.

[king of comedy]

It was sad. Mickey Rooney and Danny DeVito had wider ranges as actors.

[Edward216]

Many actors, singers, and comedians appeared on game shows in the 70s and 80s. I don't see why you think that's "sad". It's what celebrities did back then when they were popular.

Ed.