12 Times Uncle Jesse Should’ve Had Child Services Called

[TMC]

http://www.crushable.com/2013/08/19/...rent-examples/

1. The time he moved into Danny’s house and agreed to help him raise the girls, despite being a 25-year-old exterminator with little to no interest in raising children.

Look, I get it. His sister just died in some kind of tragic car accident and his brother-in-law’s stuck raising three girls alone. (In the ’80s, this was unthinkable. A man raising girls!? What’s next? Women not making sandwiches?) He thinks the noble thing to do is to move into the house for awhile and help out. But that’s wrong. The noble thing would’ve been to tell Danny to hire a nanny. I know both of them are in the arts, but I would like to think that they would both have enough of a math background to realize that the only thing worse than one guy who can’t figure out how to diaper a baby is two guys.

2. The time he went bananas on a very young Stephanie for accidentally cutting his hair.

One, Stephanie did him a huge favor by chopping off his mullet. It’s socially irresponsible to leave the house with that thing on your head on any other night besides Halloween. Two, it’s your fault for letting a small play child play hair salon with real scissors. That’s common sense 101. Three, oh you bet there’s a three, Stephanie got distracted and cut his hair because she was listening to him and Joey openly discuss who had to watch the kids that night. Things that don’t make kids feel good? Being told they’re a straight up obligation by their supposed caregivers.

3. The time he was horrible to D.J’s young friend, Kimmy Gibbler

And by time, I mean times plural. Did Jesse ever have a kind interaction with Kimmy Gibbler? While there’s been much written on the interweb about Gibbler’s treatment by the adult men of the Tanner household, I just had to bring it up here because it’s insane. Was it en vogue in the late ’80s to bully an awkward teenage girl and I’m just missing something? Or did the Gibbler Family make the biggest mistake of their lives by moving their tween daughter next door to three adult bullies.

4. The time he yells at DJ for recording over his Casa de Pancakes advertising jingle.

I’ll admit that DJ totally crossed some boundaries by going into Jesse’s room, but how about he keep his professional work in a professional place?! Oh right, he can’t. He and Joey run their entire advertising firm out of Mr. Woodchuck’s ass. If I sound angry, it’s because I am. You can’t be an exterminator, advertising jingle writer, DJ and rock star in one series.

5. The time Jesse let Scott Baio convince him to throw a party in the living room

Remember that time that Jesse threw himself a pity party because Scott Baio called him out on becoming totally lame. And that pity party took place in a suburban living room on a week night when three kids were supposed to be sleeping?! My bigger problem isn’t even the school night thing. It’s the location. The worst way to prove that you’re still Dr. Dare is to throw a G-rated dance party in your living room that involves your toddler niece playing the tambourine. You sure showed Scott Baio there that you still know how to party there Jesse!

6. The time he went parachuting on his wedding day.

Really? You’re going to trust the guy who thinks it’s a good idea to do an extreme sport for the first on his wedding day to raise your kids? Also Becky, don’t marry him. He not only went parachuting, but he went parachuting badly. What kind of novice gets stuck in a tree?

7. The time he didn’t call child services on Joey

Anyone who thinks Joey Gladstone should be rearing children — or even allowed near them — doesn’t deserve to raise children himself. The man not only lives in a basement, but also decorates it like the stuffed animal section of Toys R Us. If all your red flags aren’t going up, you most certainly have one of your own.

8. The time he fancied himself a business man and agreed to run the Smash Club

The guy who just got his high school degree thinks he’s capable of running the Smash Club. Sure, okay, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. Crazier things have happened. Oh NVM, I take back the benefit of the doubt. He locked himself inside a supplies closet on opening night. OPENING NIGHT!

9. The time he yelled at Danny for yelling at him for letting Michelle knock over a million dollar dinosaur skeleton.

Uhhh Jesse, I hate to be on Team Danny, but yes, you ARE in the wrong for letting Michelle run so rampant in the museum that she destroys an extremely expensive dinosaur skeleton. We’re not talking about getting too close to a painting or speaking loudly. We’re talking about a four million dollar artifact. Jeez Jesse, pull it together.

10. The time Jesse brings the delinquent Stavros back to the US

Jesse’s so enamored with himself that he brings his identical cousin Stavros back with him from Greece. He goes on and on about how much he loves the guy, but I think that love’s purely based on the fact that he’s Jesse’s spit and image. I mean, it’s certainly not based on his character. The guy turns out be a giganto creep. But anyone who’s ever encountered a mustache outside of Brooklyn could’ve told you that.

11. The time Jesse brings Michelle’s friends to a bar instead of the science museum

Need I say more?

12. The time he chose to raise his babies in an attic, despite being a rock star in Japan.

I’m sorry, no. It’s incredibly irresponsible, not to mention straight up weird, to CHOOSE to raise your kids in an attic. Yeah, I know, they have super cool car beds. But that doesn’t excuse the fact that he got manipulated by a toddler to stay in that house of horrors. Becky, raise your standards. I saw you raise your Murphy bed every morning in that attic, so I know you can do it.

Read more: http://www.crushable.com/2013/08/19/...#ixzz2cy6cKLqb

[wiseguy182]

Uncle Jesse wasn't perfect, but he was easily one of the most sane people living in that house. Danny deserves most of the blame for being the parent and letting Michelle get away all of the crap she pulled over the years, while at the same time, making life miserable for Dj and Stephanie. And Joey deserves a chunk of the blame too for being a loser and messing up everything.

The haircut - the author of the article needed to take it a step farther. Jesse got into an accident with his motorcycle, broke both of his arms, then blamed the whole thing on Stephanie because of the haircut! She was like 6. And then she spent the rest of the episode feeling guilty and felt she couldn't even be around Uncle Jesse without messing up his life.

I find the adults treatment of Kimmy Gibbler to be completely nauseating. If Danny wanted to find out who was really annoying, he should have looked in the mirror.

And being called lame by Scott Baio has to be downright humiliating. I could never understand the fuss about Scott Baio.

The worst thing about being forced to stay in the attic was because it was what Michelle wanted. She got her way all the way all the time. Michelle doesn't care a whit about forcing her 4 relatives to stay in cramped quarters, she just wants what she wants. Uncle Jesse & company could have just moved elsewhere in the same neighborhood and still have regular contact with Michelle, but that wasn't good enough for her. And then when they all want to move to a bigger house, she is against that idea as well and sabotages the home inspection and forces that huge family to live in the same small house.

As far as the dinosaur thing goes, I've heard a lot of people debate on whose fault it was: Danny or Jesse. I think people are forgetting it was MICHELLE'S fault as it usually is. She was the one running around when she knew she wasn't supposed to. The hilarious thing is she never gets punished for it. She never gets punished for anything. What did the museum do, just shrug it off? If I were Danny, I would have forced her to do hard manual labor until she paid it off.

And I do agree with Jesse on the casa de Pancakes thing (Ole!). Dj went into his room without permission, used his expensive musical equipment without permission, and didn't even have the decency or intelligence to put her own cassette in the deck. Jesse may have well gotten fired if he wasn't able to recreate the whole jingle on his own accord (Joey was off somewhere).

[arsensson84]

Hey, TMC, why do you make it an issue with Jesse having long hair? He's a rock star, for cryin' out loud, so it is perfectly normal for a man to have long hair and wear black leather. As for number 1 (Jesse moving in), it is not at all unthinkable for him to go to live in the house and raise his brother-in-law's three daughters (in my opinion, atleast)...

[Furienna]

I guess all of the characters on this show made their mistakes, just like real people do in real life. Jesse wouldn't be an exception.

But I definately hated how Kimmy was treated in an episode, where she had destroyed a TV set. Despite how it was a complete accident, Danny forbade her to come to their house anymore. And he also yelled at DJ for being her friend! And even after the guys had ended up in jail and Kimmy had helped them get released, she still wasn't welcome in his house!

And sigh, I guess I yet again have to talk about the Michelle hate... I just can't get how a little kid on a sitcom can make so many people that angry. And it wasn't like she always got what she wanted, or that she never was punished. And really, she only was a kid acting like many kids do...

[arsensson84]

Furienna, don't you think that in season 6, part 1 of the episode 'The House meets The Mouse', Stephanie had more of a right to see the genie of Aladdin's and be crowned princess for a day... Atleast she wouldn't have behaved so selfish as Michelle behaved when she got the crown... But no, poor Steph got played out very much by her spoiled-over-the-top, bratty younger sister (and not to mention that episode in season 8 when Michelle with help from Joey tricked Stephanie to give her her 'Counting Crows' ticket...)

[Furienna]

I'm not saying that Michelle never did anything wrong, and I might even stretch myself to say that she was more of a brat than what her sisters were. But kids are bound to do bad things some times, and I think the hate towards Michelle is exaggerated. And if my memory serves me right, Danny even said that he would have a talk to her in the Disneyworld episode.

I don't remember seeing the epsiode, where Michelle got Stephanie's concert ticket, but I've read about it on the internet. Yeah, it sounds really wrong, especially as she wasn't even familiar with the band in question. But I wouldn't blame that on Michelle, but on the adults, who made it possible for her to get (and keep) the ticket in the first place.

[Spark Of Spirit]

Sometimes I feel like people on the internet stretch too much to attempt to be clever. This is one of those times. I mean, #4 is just plain pedantic.

The museum one is a good point. It shouldn't have just been Jesse doing community service because of it. Michelle deserved every bit of that punishment.

[ThomasE]

Originally Posted by arsensson84

Hey, TMC, why do you make it an issue with Jesse having long hair? He's a rock star, for cryin' out loud, so it is perfectly normal for a man to have long hair and wear black leather. As for number 1 (Jesse moving in), it is not at all unthinkable for him to go to live in the house and raise his brother-in-law's three daughters (in my opinion, atleast)...

I agree wholeheartedly.

[yankeesfan82]

Not to mention mullets were the style in the 80s. Heck one of my friends who owns a Country bar had one into the early 90s. Scary. LOL.