Quotes

[ThisLittlePiggy]

Hi, ALF.

Hi.

What does
E-N-N-U-I spell?

Beats me.

What do we send
you to school for?

Beats me.

[ThisLittlePiggy]

Oh, I always say,
"Never send a Weedwhacker to do a garden weasel's job."

[MA]

ALF: Kate, have I ever lied to you?
Kate: Yes. Several times.
ALF: I meant today.

[ThisLittlePiggy]

Thanksgiving on Melmac

wasn't called thanksgiving.

It was called fappiano.

And we didn't eat turkey.

Instead, we sat down

to a nice, big,
juicy, stuffed...

Time out! We know exactly
what you're gonna say, ALF.

And you know that
we find that offensive.

What was I gonna say?

Cat! Big, juicy, stuffed..

...cat.

I was always partial
to the dark meat.

[MA]

Trevor Ochmonek: Hey, Willie! Could we borrow some of your tools?
Willie: Sure. They're in your garage.

[ThisLittlePiggy]

And these grocery bills!

Well, we can't touch those.

Although, I might point out
that filet of cat

is cheaper than roast of beef.

[MA]

[Kate turns on the lights and finds out that the living room is empty]
Kate: Willie! Willie!
Willie: Our furniture!
Kate: We've been robbed!
Willie: Wishful thinking.

[ThisLittlePiggy]

I decided it might be good
for you to have a pet after all.

Oh, thank you!
Thank you! Thank you!

I'll feed him oats every day.

I'll even name him after you.
White Beauty.

[MA]

ALF: I noticed you spend a lot of time fixing stuff, Willie.
Willie Tanner: That's because you spend a lot of time breaking stuff, ALF.
ALF: Well, it's nice that our hobbies are so compatible.

[ThisLittlePiggy]

ALF, ALF, what's going on?

How far apart
are the contractions?

Did you boil the water yet?

How do you expect me to help you
if you won't calm down?

ALF, will you just listen
to me for one minute?

Okay. Okay.
Everything is under control.

Aah!

- There, I'm fine now.
- What's going on?

Uh, I'm seeing your mother

through the miracle
of childbirth.

[MA]

ALF: "Traditions are like plates, they're meant to be broken."