Your favorite lines

[MA]

Roy: "If it's green, it's trouble; if it's fried, order double."

[Ohio8]

Antonio: "Let's just count how many things are wrong with that statement."

Lowell: "It's a beer commercial life."

Lowell: "...you know what they say about rat shoots: two's company, three's crossfire."

Brian: "It's that weasel Sting, isn't it?'

Lowell: "What's behind that door for me, Joe?"

[MA]

Helen: Antonio, I did not know you played guitar.
Antonio: Barely; I started a few months ago. I only know one song.
Helen: Then play that.
Antonio: It is a folk song I used to hear back in my native Italy. For a long time it was the only English I knew.
Antonio strums guitar
Antonio{singing}: My goat knows the bowling score, alleluia. My goat knows the bowling score, al-lay-loo-hoo-hoo-hoo-ya.
Helen: It is Michael, Row the Boat Ashore.
Antonio: No kidding!

[Ohio8]

Lowell: "We Mathers don't believe in divorce."
Roy: "I know. It's a lousy thing to do to a first cousin."

Lowell: "Anyone know a good lawyer?"

Warren: "Well, that does it. I now pronounce you 'man and ex-wife.'"

Brian: "Halfway down the block I could swear I heard them yodeling."

[Ohio8]

Joe: (to Brian)"And everytime you come up for parole, I'll be there."

Lowell: (to Helen) "No. You look like you just had sex."

Antonio: "Just like the rich. Everything's got to be now, now, now."

Lowell: "Wow. Don't I feel the perfect fool?"

Joe: "Asian anchorwoman."
Brian: "Oh. Good one."

Lowell: "Crack a book sometime, pretty boy."

Lowell: "I tell ya, it's enough to make you give up needlepoint forever."

[Ohio8]

Joe: "You broke my heart."

Lowell: "Yeah, once, that extra thumb of his came in handy."

[Ohio8]

Joe: "I want to see Brian on TV."

Antonio: "She, she helped so many of us that day."

Antonio: "I can't believe we're here, where the magic happens."

Antonio: "She's human, like the rest of us."

Antonio: "Go on, girl."

Lowell: "I was robbed!"
Roy: (sarcastically) "Well, there's a shock."

Brian: "And I slept with her."

[MA]

Lowell Mather: I've had this nagging feeling all day that I'm forgetting something.
Roy Biggins: My guess is you get that feeling a lot.

[Ohio8]

Roy: "She had the four appointments before me."

Brian: "I just think it's a stupid, stupid holiday."

Joe: "If there is any trouble, I am sure he's on top."

Fay: "I haven't seen him this excited since the Nancy Sinatra issue of Playboy."

Antonio: "I've got my moon-faced mama back."

[MA]

Alex: Well, what was that all about?
Brain: Lynch just asked Helen to marry him.
Alex: Oh that is great. No wonder why she is so happy.
Brian: You can be that happy too, you know.
Alex: If Davis Lynch asked me to marry him, I would be.