Favorite Quotes

[Ohio8]

Dave: "Darling I love you but give me Park Avenue."

Dave: "I mean, it's a wonderfully rendered half-hour of absurdist comedy, you know."

Matthew: "I have cats."

Max: "Do-do they call the Virginia Reel?"

Max: "The original forbidden dance."

Dave: "Nobody gets to go but Matthew."
Beth: "Why does Matthew get to gooo?"
Dave: "Because Matthew... is completely and utterly useless."

Dave: "They're cigars of sorrow."

Dave: "I never had a sense of adventure."

Max: "Mr. James bought me a pig."

Beth: "Sarcasm. The last refuge of sons of bitches!"

Beth: "My eavesdropping has gotten soo sloppy."

Joe: "I'm Joe Garelli and I'm not afraid of anything."

Joe: "Dave, you don't want a Matthew-alien hybrid running around out there,do you?"

Joe: "...I'm just gonna shoot low and kick hard."

Max: "I do all my own stunts."

Dave: "Yeah, in my dreams."

(Last lines of the series.)
Matthew: (to Dave)"It's you and me, pal. Mee and youu forever."
Dave: "I know."

[MA]

Jimmy James:
Morning, wage apes.

Dave:
Mr. James, I thought you had vacation this week.

Jimmy James:
I'm on it.

Dave:
You are?

Jimmy James:
Why travel when you have the resources of the world's greatest city right here?

Dave:
Right.

Jimmy James:
Yeah. I'm gonna go use the can.

[Ohio8]

Matthew: "I'm not regular people."

[MA]

Lisa: I'm not doing a shoot.
Jimmy James: You're not doing the shoot? What, are you crazy? That's free advertising for the station! Honey, free advertising - that's something you just can't buy.