Favorite Quotes - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Ohio8 · 07-15-2018, 01:45 PM

Bill: (to Dave)"Is Matthew superior to me?"
Dave: "You mean genetically?"

Ohio8 · 07-15-2018, 01:47 PM

Joe: "Here is my strategy: an old-fashioned, street-smart all-American ass kicking!"

Adamantium · 07-15-2018, 01:49 PM

Dave: "Wait a minute, Joe. If what you're saying is true... then I... still don't care."

Joe: "You're living in a dream world."

Dave: "If I was living in a dream world, it wouldn't be quite like this."

The above quote is better heard than read, haha.

MA · 07-15-2018, 02:05 PM

Mr. James: You're sleeping with the boss now, Lisa. What do you think the staff's gonna feel about that? You know what people think about Yoko Ono.

MA · 08-26-2018, 11:00 AM

Mr. James: Seriously, Dave. If that eulogy went on a minute longer it would have been yours.

Ohio8 · 01-28-2020, 05:36 PM

Lisa: "It was a, uh, particularly devastating review of Devo's third album."

Joe: "Get to them early, before they get brainwashed by the thought police."
Max: "Oh, like Big Bird and Elmo?"
Joe: "Elmo's on our side, dude."
Matthew: "I knew it."

Matthew: "Wait a minute... Big Bird's not on our side?"

Lisa: "Nobody is that open minded."

Max: "Hear me, children. You know not what awaits you in the years to come."

Lisa: "We will see whose ass gets kicked when we get back to the office."

Jimmy: "This little bumpkin is officially retired."

MA · 02-05-2020, 01:14 PM

Beth: That must be so demeaning, just getting coffee for people all day... Wait a minute...

Ohio8 · 02-08-2020, 07:43 PM

Joe: (to Andrew)"Come on, dude, you're not twins."

Beth: (to Matthew)"You're handsomer."

Andrew: "...I can grow a beard."

Bill: "You know, Andrew, your brother's one hell of a guy."

Jimmy: "You're a bigger man than I am, Gunga Din."

MA · 02-08-2020, 08:34 PM

Bill: It's not garbage. It's rap music. And I love it. The pulsating rhythms, raw bass line. This stuff speaks to me in places I didn't even know I had ears.

Mr. James: And free advertising, well that's something you just can't buy.

Ohio8 · 08-02-2020, 02:35 PM

Bill: "'Artistic? That's poor for 'naked'."

Dave: "It's Dave."
Joe: (o.s.)"Dave's not here, man."

Jimmy: "That's what I call art."

Bill: "Hold that boat! I'm 've got a heart condition. And I'm a woman."

Bill's final line: "No. Did you?"

MA · 08-04-2020, 06:52 AM

Dave: We're not talking about me anymore, are we?
Beth: No, we're not, Dave. We're talking about me now.
Dave: You and, uh...
Beth: The Fed-Ex guy.
Dave: We don't use Fed-Ex.
Beth: Not anymore.

Ohio8 · 09-20-2020, 12:20 PM

Lisa: "Well... As memorial services go, I think that was very nice."

Beth: (chuckles)"Oh, the irony of that would've made Bill laugh."

Matthew: (to Dave)"Your eulogy was the best."

Beth: "...and yelled 'Shut the hell up, you crazy bitch'."
Joe: "That's just what Bill would've done."

Dave: "Lisa?"
Lisa: "What?"
Dave: "We didn't have a wake for Bill."

Jimmy: "Dave, your eulogy sucked."

Beth: "Thank you for everything, Bill."

Dave: "Where's Bill's coffee cup?"

Lisa: "...I've been drunk off my ass since eight this morning."

MA · 09-21-2020, 07:47 AM

Bill : In the future, it might help if you located the source of your rage before you unleashed it on the world.

Ohio8 · 02-11-2021, 11:51 PM

(First line of the series.)
Dave: "Morning, I'm..."

Dave: "I'm the new news director."

MA · 04-24-2021, 05:45 PM

Dave:
Have you read the interview yet?

Bill McNeal:
No.

Dave:
Great. Why don't I autograph that for you?

Bill McNeal:
Autograph? So it's gone to his head already. I like your style.

Dave:
Oh, I'm not going to do it now. Uh, no, I need-I need a little time to, uh, think of, you know, uh, le mot juste.

Bill McNeal:
More juice - I hear ya.

07-15-2018, 01:45 PM	#1
Ohio8 Member Forum Star Join Date: Jul 29, 2003 Location: Wherever you aren't. Posts: 18,886	Favorite Quotes Bill: (to Dave)"Is Matthew superior to me?" Dave: "You mean genetically?"
	__________________ "Shorter of breath and one day closer to death." -- Pink Floyd

07-15-2018, 01:47 PM	#2
Ohio8 Member Forum Star Join Date: Jul 29, 2003 Location: Wherever you aren't. Posts: 18,886	Joe: "Here is my strategy: an old-fashioned, street-smart all-American ass kicking!"
	Last edited by Ohio8; 01-15-2023 at 06:32 PM.

07-15-2018, 02:05 PM	#4
MA Member Moderator Forum Idol Join Date: May 20, 2017 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 127,105	Mr. James: You're sleeping with the boss now, Lisa. What do you think the staff's gonna feel about that? You know what people think about Yoko Ono.
	__________________ ~-Mikaela-~

07-15-2018, 01:49 PM	#3
Adamantium TVAdam No More Forum Veteran Join Date: Sep 11, 2002 Location: Springfield, Ohio Posts: 7,820	Dave: "Wait a minute, Joe. If what you're saying is true... then I... still don't care." Joe: "You're living in a dream world." Dave: "If I was living in a dream world, it wouldn't be quite like this." The above quote is better heard than read, haha.

08-26-2018, 11:00 AM	#5
MA Member Moderator Forum Idol Join Date: May 20, 2017 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 127,105	Mr. James: Seriously, Dave. If that eulogy went on a minute longer it would have been yours.

01-28-2020, 05:36 PM	#6
Ohio8 Member Forum Star Join Date: Jul 29, 2003 Location: Wherever you aren't. Posts: 18,886	Lisa: "It was a, uh, particularly devastating review of Devo's third album." Joe: "Get to them early, before they get brainwashed by the thought police." Max: "Oh, like Big Bird and Elmo?" Joe: "Elmo's on our side, dude." Matthew: "I knew it." Matthew: "Wait a minute... Big Bird's not on our side?" Lisa: "Nobody is that open minded." Max: "Hear me, children. You know not what awaits you in the years to come." Lisa: "We will see whose ass gets kicked when we get back to the office." Jimmy: "This little bumpkin is officially retired."

02-05-2020, 01:14 PM	#7
MA Member Moderator Forum Idol Join Date: May 20, 2017 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 127,105	Beth: That must be so demeaning, just getting coffee for people all day... Wait a minute...

02-08-2020, 07:43 PM	#8
Ohio8 Member Forum Star Join Date: Jul 29, 2003 Location: Wherever you aren't. Posts: 18,886	Joe: (to Andrew)"Come on, dude, you're not twins." Beth: (to Matthew)"You're handsomer." Andrew: "...I can grow a beard." Bill: "You know, Andrew, your brother's one hell of a guy." Jimmy: "You're a bigger man than I am, Gunga Din."

02-08-2020, 08:34 PM	#9
MA Member Moderator Forum Idol Join Date: May 20, 2017 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 127,105	Bill: It's not garbage. It's rap music. And I love it. The pulsating rhythms, raw bass line. This stuff speaks to me in places I didn't even know I had ears. Mr. James: And free advertising, well that's something you just can't buy.

08-02-2020, 02:35 PM	#10
Ohio8 Member Forum Star Join Date: Jul 29, 2003 Location: Wherever you aren't. Posts: 18,886	Bill: "'Artistic? That's poor for 'naked'." Dave: "It's Dave." Joe: (o.s.)"Dave's not here, man." Jimmy: "That's what I call art." Bill: "Hold that boat! I'm 've got a heart condition. And I'm a woman." Bill's final line: "No. Did you?"

08-04-2020, 06:52 AM	#11
MA Member Moderator Forum Idol Join Date: May 20, 2017 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 127,105	Dave: We're not talking about me anymore, are we? Beth: No, we're not, Dave. We're talking about me now. Dave: You and, uh... Beth: The Fed-Ex guy. Dave: We don't use Fed-Ex. Beth: Not anymore.

09-20-2020, 12:20 PM	#12
Ohio8 Member Forum Star Join Date: Jul 29, 2003 Location: Wherever you aren't. Posts: 18,886	Lisa: "Well... As memorial services go, I think that was very nice." Beth: (chuckles)"Oh, the irony of that would've made Bill laugh." Matthew: (to Dave)"Your eulogy was the best." Beth: "...and yelled 'Shut the hell up, you crazy bitch'." Joe: "That's just what Bill would've done." Dave: "Lisa?" Lisa: "What?" Dave: "We didn't have a wake for Bill." Jimmy: "Dave, your eulogy sucked." Beth: "Thank you for everything, Bill." Dave: "Where's Bill's coffee cup?" Lisa: "...I've been drunk off my ass since eight this morning."

09-21-2020, 07:47 AM	#13
MA Member Moderator Forum Idol Join Date: May 20, 2017 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 127,105	Bill : In the future, it might help if you located the source of your rage before you unleashed it on the world.

02-11-2021, 11:51 PM	#14
Ohio8 Member Forum Star Join Date: Jul 29, 2003 Location: Wherever you aren't. Posts: 18,886	(First line of the series.) Dave: "Morning, I'm..." Dave: "I'm the new news director."

04-24-2021, 05:45 PM	#15
MA Member Moderator Forum Idol Join Date: May 20, 2017 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 127,105	Dave: Have you read the interview yet? Bill McNeal: No. Dave: Great. Why don't I autograph that for you? Bill McNeal: Autograph? So it's gone to his head already. I like your style. Dave: Oh, I'm not going to do it now. Uh, no, I need-I need a little time to, uh, think of, you know, uh, le mot juste. Bill McNeal: More juice - I hear ya.