Quotes

[Ohio8]

Carter: "Hear that? Now there's a date I can believe."

Slater: "I don't know why I even bother to go into town. I could have more fun doing my laundry."

Carter: "Good. No riff raff."

Pvt. Hummel: "Well, well. So this is how the other half lives."

Carter: (on phone)"What is it this time, Baron Munchhausen?"

[Ohio8]

Carter: "What I couldn't accomplish in three soild years is here. Father Time came along and did the job for me."

Carter: "I'm tellin' ya, Pyle, you look like you stepped right out of one of them men's magazines."

Carter: "Surprise, surprise, surprise! Only this time the surprise is on the other foot."

[MA]

Gomer Pyle: Hey, Sarge! Sorry I'm late!
Sarge: Four weeks K.P. for being late!
Gomer: Sorry, sir.
Sarge: Six weeks K.P. for talking!

[ThisLittlePiggy]

Oh, Pyle.

Your shirt is still
sticking out a bit.

Uh, tuck it in, will you please?

Yes, sir, Sergeant, I sure will.

[ThisLittlePiggy]

Could I borrow some
bicarbonate and a lemon?

What for?

Well, it's for Sergeant Carter.

He's having stomach pains.

Oh?

And I'd thought I'd fix him up

some of Grandma
Pyle's stomach medicine.

A half a lemon and two
tablespoons of bicarbonate

and some sassafras root.

[Ohio8]

Gomer: "Yeah. And it's funny, funny, funny."

[Ohio8]

Gomer: "You're just cynical, Duke."

Gomer: "Cynical, cynical, cynical."

[Ohio8]

Carter: "You know somethin', Pyle? The world has changed a lot since I was a kid."

[Ohio8]

Sgt. Hank Singer: "Get the chaplain over to listen to this heartbreakin' story."

Carter: "Come on, Hank, anybody can do your job."

Pvt. Lester Hummel: "I always say, 'Plan your work and work your plan'."

Hummel: "Simple power of observation and retention."

Gomer: "Smart feller, that Lester."

[Ohio8]

Sgt. Hank Singer: "Get the chaplain over to listen to this heartbreakin' story."

Carter: "Come on, Hank, anybody can do your job."

Pvt. Lester Hummel: "I always say, 'Plan your work and work your plan'."

Hummel: "Simple power of observation and retention."

Gomer: "Smart feller, that Lester."

[Ohio8]

Corporal Boyle: "I guess Sunday is just fun day for Gomer."

Gomer: "Fun? Well, I want to tell you one thing, Mister Binder. I don't appreciate your sense of humor and I don't appreciate what you did with my pictures in your magazine.

"It was a mean, low down trick."

Gomer: "It was deceitful, that's what it was. Sham trickery, out and out lying."

[MA]

Alice Whipple: Harry, how long are we going to be here?
Harry Whipple: As long as it takes.
Alice Whipple: Well, I've got to get to the beauty parlor.
Harry Whipple: You're telling me.

[ThisLittlePiggy]

“It’s all about the journey!”

[MA]

Frankie: [Gomer is inviting Frankie to the movies] I don't wanna see another Godzilla picture... He's made more movies than Doris Day!