Ray and Debra marriage

[Greenbeans]

I think couples who stay together know how to fight.

It's one-thing to say "I'd appreciate it I you made more of an effort to pick your clothes up off the floor because I'm kind of a neat-nick and it bothers me"

versus

"You are a lazy slob who leaves your clothes lying all over the place and I'm sorry I ever married you."

It's all you frame things.

[JO Sweet Heart]

Originally Posted by OH Nuts!

Yeah I agree with you the fighting was natural. Some like to paint Debra as this hard-a## bit## but she was tired of Ray weenying out of his responsibilities. And BOY was she smart! Remember how deftly she put out that fire that Ray started?

As for Marie and Frank, I think they love to argue. And while I generally don’t care for Frank, I love how enraged he got when Marie said they had a loveless marriage. IMO one of the classic scenes from the show.

Amen to that scene when Frank got mad about Marie's thought where their marriage was concerned. Yeah, he was a word that I can't say, but if he truly thought that Marie brought nothing to the picture, he never would've stayed married to her and it obviously wasn't just her cooking that was good. I love the episode when we learn about how often Frank and Marie perform their "marital duties". She said that they only did it once a year, but Frank was there to let the true story be out there which is one thing that should be appreciated about everyone who is nothing but honest. Marie only let it be known where Ray's lying streak came from.

God bless you always!!!

Holly

[OH Nuts!]

Originally Posted by JO Sweet Heart

Amen to that scene when Frank got mad about Marie's thought where their marriage was concerned. Yeah, he was a word that I can't say, but if he truly thought that Marie brought nothing to the picture, he never would've stayed married to her and it obviously wasn't just her cooking that was good. I love the episode when we learn about how often Frank and Marie perform their "marital duties". She said that they only did it once a year, but Frank was there to let the true story be out there which is one thing that should be appreciated about everyone who is nothing but honest. Marie only let it be known where Ray's lying streak came from.

God bless you always!!!

Holly

Yup 98% of the time Frank made me gag and think: Marie deserves an award for not having an affair. But then there was that other 2% - like above and when he took the heat for Debra with that canister.

And as macho as Frank likes to make himself out to be, he would barely be able to function without Marie. I mean really: can you imagine him cooking, shopping or doing his laundry? She was a smart cookie and for sure, a smooth operator.

[Cobain]

You have to wonder if Ray and Debra even liked each other -- at times it seemed like it was borderlining on contempt. They would try to undermine each other. Here are some examples:

- Ray not voting for Debra
- Debra telling Ray he misprounces a specific word as he prepares for his big speech
- Debra being jealous of Ray's enjoyment of charity work
- Ray not bring thrilled about Debra going back to work
- Debra making bets with the kids at Ray's expense
- Ray making fun of Debra's braciole despite it being good

I've never seen a TV sitcom couple hate each other as much as they do. This is probably the reason why Ray always sides with Marie whenever there was a dispute between the ladies.

[JO Sweet Heart]

^^^ Ray have not been trilled when Debra went back to work, but when she did only to get fired, he went to her boss and tried to get her job back for her which in my opinion showed support for her.

God bless you always!!

Holly

[rusty spike]

For some couples, they stay together not because they genuinely love each other but they are comfortable living together. It would be greater work to separate and meet others rather than stay fighting and being miserable at times. I think this sums up Ray/Debra.

[nightcrawler]

^
OMG no. I'm in that miserable marriage thing, constantly bickering over everything, zero intamacy (don't care either) I'd rather be alone than what I'm in now, But for now I'm stuck.

I think Debra is a total bytch, Ray is nothing short of an idiot.
Ray constantly having to beg for sex, turn off, If I had to beg for it, that alone would turn me off from that person.
The father is a rotten nasty old unfeeling man. Robert is a little slow, and stupid for still living at home. Ray is an idiot for living across the street from his overbearing domineering mother, simply sickening.

[merlinjones]

That wife is just plain mean and miserable. I don't get the appeal.

[stevea]

They're all odd in their way. It's a generally dysfunctional family, with a buttinsky mother (Marie), loudmouthed, opinionated father (Frank), and two insecure sons (Ray and Robert) who live in fear of their mother.

Ray and Debra? She becomes increasingly hostile to Ray as time goes on, culminating in a fourth season episode where she becomes downright violent. He becomes more and more manipulative as time goes on--really, I'm thinking, if the show went beyond nine seasons, the writers could have had them get a divorce.

[Alan Brady's Hair]

Sitcoms aren't showing random days in people's lives. These are notable days - the ones characters would tell stories about. You're not supposed to think that Ray does something outrageous every single day, and Debra goes off like a bomb.

Everybody Loves Raymond may be the show that has suffered most from binging episodes, both on cable and now streaming. Watching one after another magnifies the negative aspects of the characters, so if you tend to take sitcoms seriously it can lead to judging characters in a way that wasn't really intended.