Home Improvement lines and quotes - Page 12 - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Ohio8 · 08-18-2021, 07:12 PM

Al: "And a storefront in under a minute."

Tim: "And remember, if it doesn't say 'Binford' on it, somebody else probably made it."

Pete: "Yeah, Dwayne spent 9 years takin' 12th grade math."

Heidi: "Mr. Binford died."
Al: "Binford died?"
Heidi: "Yeah. He had a heart attack this morning."

Al: "How did he sound?"
Tim: "Alive."

Tim: "What am I gonna do, cry in my beer?"

Tim: "Next stop, Tool Heaven."

Brad: "Dad, guys don't cry."

Wilson: "You know, the shedding of tears is just one way that people mourn."

Tim: "Talk about guts."

Tim: "John Binford was the greatest guy in the world to me."

Tim: "I Just don't know how to mourn for John Binford."

Al: "If I didn't let my feelings out, Tim, I wouldn't be the man I am today."

Jill: "He cried more than the window."

Ohio8 · 08-18-2021, 07:55 PM

(Last lines of the series.)
Jill: "I didn't know a tugboat could go this fast."
Tim: "It can if it's got more power."

MA · 08-20-2021, 12:11 PM

“Tim: I go to the opera with you.

Jill: Oh, once. I've sat through three Rambo movies. When was the last time you took me to a foreign film?

Tim: Didn't we just see Le Robocop?”

Ohio8 · 12-04-2022, 12:53 AM

(First line of the series.)
Tim: "Guys... My show's on. Come on and watch!"

MA · 12-06-2022, 01:34 PM

Tim: We've talked about this long enough; I'm gonna put another sink in this room.
Jill: Oh, no no no no you're not.
Tim: It's not that big a job; it's a small job.
Jill: There is no such thing as a small job with you, Tim. First you'd start with the sink, and the next thing I'd know you'd be ripping out walls, and running a subway through here.
Tim: I'd give you free tickets!

Ohio8 · 05-05-2024, 05:45 PM

Wes Davidson: "The hair's off limits, Taylor."
Tim: "It's off your scalp too."

Jill: (to her sons)"...you're just like pirahnas in blue jeans."

Randy: "You're always thinkin', Mom."

Tim: "This is an inferior tool."

Tim: "He doesn't care about quality the way I do."

Jill: "You think he's a weasel."
Tim: "I don't have a problem with that."

Wilson: "...when it's a question of integrity, there are no easy answers."

Al:"I never walk away from a tool in need."

MA · 10-29-2024, 08:10 AM

Jill: Tim, do you ever listen to me? It was the last thing that I said in bed to you last night.
Tim: No, I believe, if you recall, the last thing you said to me in bed last night was "no!"
Jill: You're thinking of tonight.

08-18-2021, 07:12 PM	#166
Ohio8 Member Forum Star Join Date: Jul 29, 2003 Location: Wherever you aren't. Posts: 18,886	Al: "And a storefront in under a minute." Tim: "And remember, if it doesn't say 'Binford' on it, somebody else probably made it." Pete: "Yeah, Dwayne spent 9 years takin' 12th grade math." Heidi: "Mr. Binford died." Al: "Binford died?" Heidi: "Yeah. He had a heart attack this morning." Al: "How did he sound?" Tim: "Alive." Tim: "What am I gonna do, cry in my beer?" Tim: "Next stop, Tool Heaven." Brad: "Dad, guys don't cry." Wilson: "You know, the shedding of tears is just one way that people mourn." Tim: "Talk about guts." Tim: "John Binford was the greatest guy in the world to me." Tim: "I Just don't know how to mourn for John Binford." Al: "If I didn't let my feelings out, Tim, I wouldn't be the man I am today." Jill: "He cried more than the window."
	__________________ "Shorter of breath and one day closer to death." -- Pink Floyd

08-20-2021, 12:11 PM	#168
MA Member Moderator Forum Idol Join Date: May 20, 2017 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 127,105	“Tim: I go to the opera with you. Jill: Oh, once. I've sat through three Rambo movies. When was the last time you took me to a foreign film? Tim: Didn't we just see Le Robocop?”
	__________________ ~-Mikaela-~

08-18-2021, 07:55 PM	#167
Ohio8 Member Forum Star Join Date: Jul 29, 2003 Location: Wherever you aren't. Posts: 18,886	(Last lines of the series.) Jill: "I didn't know a tugboat could go this fast." Tim: "It can if it's got more power."

12-04-2022, 12:53 AM	#169
Ohio8 Member Forum Star Join Date: Jul 29, 2003 Location: Wherever you aren't. Posts: 18,886	(First line of the series.) Tim: "Guys... My show's on. Come on and watch!"

12-06-2022, 01:34 PM	#170
MA Member Moderator Forum Idol Join Date: May 20, 2017 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 127,105	Tim: We've talked about this long enough; I'm gonna put another sink in this room. Jill: Oh, no no no no you're not. Tim: It's not that big a job; it's a small job. Jill: There is no such thing as a small job with you, Tim. First you'd start with the sink, and the next thing I'd know you'd be ripping out walls, and running a subway through here. Tim: I'd give you free tickets!

05-05-2024, 05:45 PM	#171
Ohio8 Member Forum Star Join Date: Jul 29, 2003 Location: Wherever you aren't. Posts: 18,886	Wes Davidson: "The hair's off limits, Taylor." Tim: "It's off your scalp too." Jill: (to her sons)"...you're just like pirahnas in blue jeans." Randy: "You're always thinkin', Mom." Tim: "This is an inferior tool." Tim: "He doesn't care about quality the way I do." Jill: "You think he's a weasel." Tim: "I don't have a problem with that." Wilson: "...when it's a question of integrity, there are no easy answers." Al:"I never walk away from a tool in need."

10-29-2024, 08:10 AM	#172
MA Member Moderator Forum Idol Join Date: May 20, 2017 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 127,105	Jill: Tim, do you ever listen to me? It was the last thing that I said in bed to you last night. Tim: No, I believe, if you recall, the last thing you said to me in bed last night was "no!" Jill: You're thinking of tonight.