Bob Newhart Refused to Have Sitcom Kids

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https://www.cracked.com/article_4316...tcom-kids.html

‘I didn’t want to be the dolt of a father’

August 09, 2024

Bob Newhart had one of the most remarkable sitcom runs of all time, seamlessly transitioning from playing Bob (Hartley) on The Bob Newhart Show for six seasons to playing Dick Louden on Newhart for eight years. What did the shows have in common besides Newhart’s understated, stammering joke delivery? A conspicuous absence of smart-ass kids.

You heard that right, J.D. Vance. Bob Newhart made the conscious decision not to have children — on television anyway. (Before we turn Bob into a campaign commercial, note that the practicing Catholic comic had four kids in real life.)

A childless couple was out of the ordinary for 1970s sitcom families. And it wasn’t because Bob and his on-screen wife Emily were having problems. “Somewhat radical for the time, they were shown sleeping in the same bed,” Newhart said in his memoir, I Shouldn't Even Be Doing This!: And Other Things That Strike Me as Funny. “We were one of the first shows to suggest that Bob and Emily had a sex life — quite something for a TV sitcom in 1972.”

Sex, yes, but kids? No way. In fact, that was one of the only creative demands Newhart made when he agreed to do the show. “I didn’t want to be the dolt of a father who gets himself in trouble and then the precocious kids huddle in the kitchen and plot a way to get dad out of this pickle.”

There was only one loophole. Producers agreed that if Suzanne Pleshette, the actress who played Emily, became pregnant in real life, then her character would be expecting as well. The real-life blessed event never happened, which didn’t stop those same producers from plotting a pregnancy in the show’s fifth season. They commissioned a secret script and sent it over to Newhart for his reaction.

“It’s a very funny script,” Newhart responded.

“Oh, I’m glad you like it,” replied the relived producer. “We were really nervous about your reaction.”

“I only have one question,” said Newhart. “Who are you going to get to play the part of Bob?”

Ironically, one of the main reasons Newhart wanted to do The Bob Newhart Show in the first place was so he could spend more time with his actual kids. By the time his third child came around, the stand-up grind was taking its toll. “As the kids grew older, it was hard for them to travel because of school, friends and activities,” Newhart said. “Sitting alone in hotel room after hotel room, I often thought about cutting down on my days on the road.”

When his manager approached him with the idea of playing a TV psychologist, Newhart was in. “Absolutely. A TV series would be steady work, and it would get me off the road and allow me to be home nights and weekends like 9-to-5 working parents.”

What did his real-life children think about Newhart’s lack of TV offspring? “My own kids didn’t seem to mind that they had no namesakes on TV,” he wrote. “They were just happy with all the new toys.”