Quotes Thread

[Ohio8]

Andy: "It's just basic vacuum science."

Jim: "These two are so crabby, it's like havin' one adult woman here."

[Ohio8]

Jim: "What, can't a man class up his breakfast a little bit?"

Jim: "The sad thing is, I did his laundry."

[Ohio8]

Andy: "It's the Oscars of teeth."

[Ohio8]

Cheryl: (to Jim)"We're alone?"
Jim: "Yeah."
Cheryl: "Upstairs, naked. Now!"

Jim: "I've got fancy hair."

Jim: "I got so lucky... And she didn't get pregnant."

Jim: "...a healthy, mature approach to the old squeaky squeak."

Dana: "Jim teaching kids about sex? I'm scared."

Jim: "When have I ever stayed in the background?"

Ruby: "Are we doing my sex talk or not?"

[Ohio8]

Cheryl: "Jim, you don't count each can in a six pack."
Jim: "In my world you do."

[FHCastmember]

This show sucked

Stealing Matthews house SMH

[Ohio8]

Andy: "International waters, that's where the real action is."

Jim: "Andy, we're a go for boobies."

Dana: "I don't want my husband my husband to see me topless..."

Jim: "We're watchin' drunk girls take their tops off."

Ryan: "...but drunken bar flasher never came up."

Jim: "If I wanted my advice, I'd listen to myself when I talked!"

Andy: "Thanks a lot, skanks."

Dana: "At least I was a single skank."

Cheryl: "That belongs out on Jackass Island."

Jim: "It's a pair of biggies."

[MA]

Jim: Do you want Cheryl to make you a sandwich?
Dana: I don't think that'll help, Jim.
Jim: [pause] Do you want to make *me* a sandwich...?

[ThisLittlePiggy]

No, I mean, look, we hardly
had anything to begin with,

so we never gave anything away.

At my grandfather's funeral,
we had to bury him naked.

So my uncle could have
a suit to wear to the funeral.

[MA]

Kyle: I want a sponge bath, from a nurse.
Cheryl: What?
Kyle: Uncle Andy says they're the best!
Jim: I think sometimes Andy forgets that Kyle's in the back seat.

[Ohio8]

Jim: "Ohhh. You're both losers."

Jim: "Must be chilly down in Mexico."

[Ohio8]

Ruby: "Mommy, is this what Hell is like?"
Cheryl: "No, honey, there's no popsicles there."

Andy: "Be ready to be cool."

Cheryl: "Oh, that's right. I forgot about your vacation with the Flintstones."

Andy: "Damn. 95 degrees at 7:30 in the morning."

Dana: (to Andy)"I have exactly a tenth of the bod you have."

Jim: "I took the day off so I could go swimming with my bad, bad wife."

[Ohio8]

Jim: (to Ruby)"Anything else?"
Ruby: "Yes. I need you to buy me a training bra."

Andy: (to Dana) "Rebellious? You two were the town skanks."

[MA]

Ruby: Daddy, since Gracie won, can Kyle and I have popsicles?
Jim: How does that work?
Ruby: She's our sister, we're part of her posse.