Quotes Thread - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Ohio8 · 10-23-2018, 09:40 PM

Heaven's Gate Keeper: (to Jim)"Apparently, you've been red-flagged."
Jim: "Ahhh, hell."
HGK: "Potentially 'yes'."

Ohio8 · 10-23-2018, 09:41 PM

Andy: "...you don't get over a broken heart without a little liver damage."

MA · 10-24-2018, 05:50 AM

Cheryl: Jim, are you listening to yourself?

Jim: Yes I am, Cheryl. I *am* a genius. I can talk and listen to myself at the same time!

MA · 04-04-2019, 05:42 AM

Jim: Are you nervous?

Ruby: No.

Jim: Then why are your hands so cold?

Ruby: You made me hold your Slurpee!

Ohio8 · 10-12-2022, 07:39 PM

Andy: "You know, it's not funny when you guys unplug my keyboard."

Ohio8 · 10-12-2022, 07:42 PM

Jim: (to Cheryl)"Andy's right. Get the belt."

paul.austin · 10-13-2022, 06:28 AM

Ruby's more likely to be red flagged than Jim:

Ohio8 · 10-30-2022, 03:29 PM

Cheryl: "Another store I can't go back to..."

Jim: "Well, where do you think the money comes from?"
Ruby: "The machine at the bank. You put your card in, and push 4-7-2-0."
Jim: "How do you know my code?!"
Gracie: "You move your lips when you do it."

Jim: "Look, girls, it may be okay for your mother to sit around the house all day lookin' pretty, but it's not gonna work for you."
Cheryl: "You know, girls, it's true. Not everyone can have a fairy tale life."

paul.austin · 10-31-2022, 02:56 AM

I think Jim now strongly wishes he could have locked Ruby up in that castle tower, after all:

MA · 11-05-2022, 11:58 AM

Ruby:
Daddy, since Gracie won, can Kyle and I have popsicles?

Jim:
How does that work?

Ruby:
She's our sister, we're part of her posse.

paul.austin · 11-22-2022, 01:23 PM

adult Taylor Atelian - Booby from According to Jim

MA · 12-07-2022, 10:01 AM

Gracie: Trophies are stupid and all the others are nerds. It's like being with 50 other Uncle Andys.

Ohio8 · 12-15-2022, 07:26 PM

Jim: "And on that farm he had a heart attack."

Dana: "What'd you do? Send them to another family for three days?"

Dana: "I wish more of our relatives would die."
Jim: "I wish you would just leave."

Jim: "I've made it worse, haven't I?"

Cheryl: "Anger, fury, bitterness."

Andy: (to Jim)"You are upset. That's a helluva metaphor."

Cheryl: "My Uncle Donald was my dad's big brother."

Ohio8 · 12-16-2022, 06:39 PM

Jim: "Unless it's about sports, steaks, or fireworks, I don't get excited!"

Jim: "I know what you're thinkin'... I married the hot sister."

God: "Seriously. You'd all go to Hell for Jim?"

Dana: (sarcastically)"I'm so glad I flew across the country for that."

Jim: "No! I'm gonna stay the way I am!"

(Last line of the series.)
Jim: "Well! God don't want me, the Devil won't have me, the way I figure it, it might never change. I'm gonna live forever."

MA · 12-28-2022, 10:03 AM

Jim: Where's the rulebook?"
Cheryl: What rulebook?"
Jim: You know. The religious one . . . the Bible.

10-23-2018, 09:40 PM	#1
Ohio8 Member Forum Star Join Date: Jul 29, 2003 Location: Wherever you aren't. Posts: 18,885	Quotes Thread Heaven's Gate Keeper: (to Jim)"Apparently, you've been red-flagged." Jim: "Ahhh, hell." HGK: "Potentially 'yes'."
	__________________ "Shorter of breath and one day closer to death." -- Pink Floyd Last edited by Ohio8; 11-09-2022 at 09:33 PM.

10-24-2018, 05:50 AM	#3
MA Member Moderator Forum Idol Join Date: May 20, 2017 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 127,116	Cheryl: Jim, are you listening to yourself? Jim: Yes I am, Cheryl. I am a genius. I can talk and listen to myself at the same time!
	__________________ ~-Mikaela-~

10-13-2022, 06:28 AM	#7
paul.austin Member Forum Regular Join Date: Jul 22, 2012 Posts: 669	Ruby's more likely to be red flagged than Jim:
	__________________ www.bbc.co.uk\letterfromamerica

10-30-2022, 03:29 PM	#8
Ohio8 Member Forum Star Join Date: Jul 29, 2003 Location: Wherever you aren't. Posts: 18,885	Cheryl: "Another store I can't go back to..." Jim: "Well, where do you think the money comes from?" Ruby: "The machine at the bank. You put your card in, and push 4-7-2-0." Jim: "How do you know my code?!" Gracie: "You move your lips when you do it." Jim: "Look, girls, it may be okay for your mother to sit around the house all day lookin' pretty, but it's not gonna work for you." Cheryl: "You know, girls, it's true. Not everyone can have a fairy tale life."
	Last edited by Ohio8; 04-08-2023 at 11:05 PM.

12-15-2022, 07:26 PM	#13
Ohio8 Member Forum Star Join Date: Jul 29, 2003 Location: Wherever you aren't. Posts: 18,885	Jim: "And on that farm he had a heart attack." Dana: "What'd you do? Send them to another family for three days?" Dana: "I wish more of our relatives would die." Jim: "I wish you would just leave." Jim: "I've made it worse, haven't I?" Cheryl: "Anger, fury, bitterness." Andy: (to Jim)"You are upset. That's a helluva metaphor." Cheryl: "My Uncle Donald was my dad's big brother."
	Last edited by Ohio8; 04-08-2023 at 11:05 PM.

10-23-2018, 09:41 PM	#2
Ohio8 Member Forum Star Join Date: Jul 29, 2003 Location: Wherever you aren't. Posts: 18,885	Andy: "...you don't get over a broken heart without a little liver damage."

04-04-2019, 05:42 AM	#4
MA Member Moderator Forum Idol Join Date: May 20, 2017 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 127,116	Jim: Are you nervous? Ruby: No. Jim: Then why are your hands so cold? Ruby: You made me hold your Slurpee!

10-12-2022, 07:39 PM	#5
Ohio8 Member Forum Star Join Date: Jul 29, 2003 Location: Wherever you aren't. Posts: 18,885	Andy: "You know, it's not funny when you guys unplug my keyboard."

10-12-2022, 07:42 PM	#6
Ohio8 Member Forum Star Join Date: Jul 29, 2003 Location: Wherever you aren't. Posts: 18,885	Jim: (to Cheryl)"Andy's right. Get the belt."

10-31-2022, 02:56 AM	#9
paul.austin Member Forum Regular Join Date: Jul 22, 2012 Posts: 669	I think Jim now strongly wishes he could have locked Ruby up in that castle tower, after all:

11-05-2022, 11:58 AM	#10
MA Member Moderator Forum Idol Join Date: May 20, 2017 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 127,116	Ruby: Daddy, since Gracie won, can Kyle and I have popsicles? Jim: How does that work? Ruby: She's our sister, we're part of her posse.

11-22-2022, 01:23 PM	#11
paul.austin Member Forum Regular Join Date: Jul 22, 2012 Posts: 669	adult Taylor Atelian - Booby from According to Jim

12-07-2022, 10:01 AM	#12
MA Member Moderator Forum Idol Join Date: May 20, 2017 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 127,116	Gracie: Trophies are stupid and all the others are nerds. It's like being with 50 other Uncle Andys.

12-16-2022, 06:39 PM	#14
Ohio8 Member Forum Star Join Date: Jul 29, 2003 Location: Wherever you aren't. Posts: 18,885	Jim: "Unless it's about sports, steaks, or fireworks, I don't get excited!" Jim: "I know what you're thinkin'... I married the hot sister." God: "Seriously. You'd all go to Hell for Jim?" Dana: (sarcastically)"I'm so glad I flew across the country for that." Jim: "No! I'm gonna stay the way I am!" (Last line of the series.) Jim: "Well! God don't want me, the Devil won't have me, the way I figure it, it might never change. I'm gonna live forever."

12-28-2022, 10:03 AM	#15
MA Member Moderator Forum Idol Join Date: May 20, 2017 Location: New Hampshire Posts: 127,116	Jim: Where's the rulebook?" Cheryl: What rulebook?" Jim: You know. The religious one . . . the Bible.