Quotes

[Ohio8]

Dick: (to Tommy) "You're a freak, you know that?"

Dick: "You're gonna be the world's tallest idiot."

Sally: (to Glenn)"Well, I don't see a lot of men as good-looking as you."

Harry: "How am I supposed to learn if you keep lettin' me out?"

Dick: "Because I raised a gifted son?"

Mrs. Dubcek: "Sally, marry this man."

Harry: "I'm out! I'm out of the closet."
Glenn: "I love this family."

Tommy: (to August) "...on the graph of smart girls and the graph of pretty girls, you're the sole intersection. The single point of perfection, in an infinity of stupid and homely."

Sally: "I just wanna be all that I can be."

Dr. Menard: "...in a society that's run by intellectual midgets."

Tommy: "Somebody shut me in the head."

Tommy: "I am the king of Dorkopolis."

Sally: "What you see is what you get."

Tommy: "This isn't even a so-called life."

Tommy: "...in a real school, one with metal detectors and pregnant cheerleaders."

Dick: (to Tommy)"Relax! Damn you, relax!"

Dick: "IT'S CALLED THE CORONA! YOU'VE BEEN THERE! YOU KNOW THAT!"

Glenn: "Sally, you are a woman."
Sally: "What'd you think I was!?"
(Various expressions on Sally's face as she catches on.)
Sally: "Woww."

Sally: "I think Glenn found a loophole."

[Ohio8]

The Big Giant Head: (to Vicki) "I'm a rocket man, you know."
Vicki: "Really?"
The Big Giant Head: "Can I help you jettison your pants?"

[MA]

Dick: Can anyone get their head to swivel to the rear? (no) Then how are you supposed to lick your back!?

[Ohio8]

Sally: "...I could snap your neck like a twig."

Sally: "I'm not the perfect woman!"

Dick: "You know, you never see yourself clearly until you see yourself through your lover's eyes... I am red freakin' hot!"
Sally: "Good for you. I'm a loud, destructive, irritating pain in the butt."

Tommy: "Well, Sally, here on Earth humans change for their lovers."

Dick: "...adults have far more complicated problems."

Harry: "I change for no one."

Sally: (to waitress)"I don't want to hear about the specials, lady."

Dick: "A broken heart demands mocha mint!"

Dick: (to Sally)"You've got to have more sex."
Sally: "More? I've never had any, ever."
Dick: "Ever?"

Dick: "Sex fixes everything."

Sally: "I mean, what do I have to lose except my virginity? Good bye, Mr. Hymen."

Sally: "Thanks, Dr. Albright. You're so nice. I always thought you were such a bitch."

Mary: "God, I love grilled cheese."

[Ohio8]

Mary: "She's a fully actualized person with so much to share."

Dick: "... we have been enslaved by our negative emotions."

Sally: "Well, that was worth a four-hour bus ride."

Nina: "Harry, it's a ceiling. Select a color and slap it on."

Tommy: (to Sally)"I think you're just on a power trip."

Dick: "I need conflict, it makes me feel, it makes me learn!"

Sally: "Yeah, but all the negative crap seems to come easily."

[MA]

Dr. Goldberg:
[a psychiatrist is seeing Dick, who has just had his first dream causing him to doubt his sanity] Anything said in this room is absolutely confidential.

Dr. Dick Solomon:
Really? [He jumps on the couch and begins shouting] I don't belong on this planet. I'm an alien from another galaxy. The warranty on my brain just expired, and I'm scared to get married.

Dr. Goldberg:
That's a start. [later] The hour's up, we have to end this session.

Dr. Dick Solomon:
So, I'm all better?

Dr. Goldberg:
Well, I don't deal in a world of "better". I don't speak that language. But, no, you're not even close to "better".