LIVE-ACTION TV REVIEW: Weird Science (1994-98)

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Here are my TOP SEVEN EPISODES OF WEIRD SCIENCE!

7
Airball Kings

After Wyatt and Gary are pushed around by a bunch of jocks, they get the idea to try out for the school basketball team (though it's entirely Gary's idea). Lisa pulls some strings and gets them on the team... by brainwashing the coach into thinking they're the best players he's ever seen! The thing is, they have zero aptitude when it comes to basketball. Things get really sour when the coach makes Gary the backbone of the whole team ("Give it to Gary! Give the ball to Gary!"), a decision that costs them a game. While everyone else demands that Gary steps down, the coach threatens to quit if the boy resigns.

Will Farber High forfeit its chance at the championship because of Lisa's reality-warping?

Or will that same magic plus a SEGA Game Gear provide the solution to the problem?

6
Unplugged

Costumer designer: Vanilla Ice.

Gary, after witnessing a classmate play a guitar, wants to become a rocker... but he and Wyatt turn out to be complete garbage in that regard. Through Lisa's magic, they find their musical style and the trio becomes a super rock group overnight: Megahurtz! Unfortunately, they turn out to be a one-hit wonder and subsequent songs are just rehashes of their single hit. While Lisa and Wyatt accept that they've become faded stars, Gary refuses to quit.

Can Gary salvage his career?
Will people only remember him as "that hemorrhoid guy"?
No spoilers here.

5
Sci-Fi Zoned

I've said that "friends no more" plots have been done a million times... but here, they try to put a twist on the whole thing.

With Wyatt and Gary's friendship on the rocks, Lisa attempts to salvage it by sending the boys into the very show that made them friends in the first place: The Twilight Zone The Sci-Fi Zone. Lisa figures that if they can survive an episode, they'll patch things up. Talking candy bars, giant doll houses, evil dolls -- can the duo survive without being reduced to skeletons through sheer paranoia? Watch and see!

Also, Lee Tergesen channeling Rod Sterling sells the whole thing!

4
Hot Wheels

Wyatt talks to his father about letting him get his own car (because, as Gary puts it "no wheels, no squeals"). Mr. Donnelly agrees, but his son gets saddled with a 1971 Ford Pinto!

Lisa, acknowledging what a travesty the car is, replaces it with a souped up little number of her own creation called Nadine. It soon turns out the car is sentient and gradually lulls Wyatt into fawning over her. Gary confronts Wyatt about his behavior after finding him writing a love letter to the vehicle... but the power of Nadine makes Gary (and later Chett) obsess over her once he gets behind the wheel. This leads to the two boys quarreling over who gets to be the car's true boyfriend.

What is the key to a resolution? I won't tell!

3
Gary Wallace: Boy Reporter

Gary and Wyatt become part of the school newspaper staff. Gary wants to impress his editor (who is in a singled-minded quest to find out why the fish sticks in the cafeteria contain no fish), but needs an edge. Enter Lisa with a magic pen that makes whatever Gary writes happen, from UFO sightings to two-headed Scotsmen. All the while, Wyatt shows off his inability to take pictures. Will he ever pull it off? Will the riddle of the ersatz fish sticks be answered? Will Gary kiss his editor? Will said editor appear in any future episodes (hint: negative continuity)?

Not sold? How about this: Chett the Yeti!

2
Bikini Camp Slasher

Gary and Wyatt get sucked into a slasher movie and have to avoid a psychopath called Mittface. Fortunately for the duo, Gary is a walking encyclopedia of horror clichés.

That's one thing I love about this episode: the spoof of all the horror tropes.

• Women wearing high-heels that always break.
• Recycled sets.
• An unkillable villain.
• Stripping in front of a window attracting said unkillable villain.
• Weapons in improbable places.
• They even crank the dial up to twelve and bring in one-dimensional, bikini-clad bimbos (who can't keep track of who's who) and a bunch of jocks with unhealthy levels of testosterone... and they all like to do stuff that can get idiots killed in these types of movies.

Keep in mind: this aired before Scream.

While the boys have a fun romp with Mittface, Chett tries to pass himself off to his date as a high-ranking officer and not an unemployed slug leeching off his parents.

1
Pirates!

Wyatt has the male lead in the school play, but Jessica (his female co-star) isn't thrilled about acting alongside him, despite their chemistry. Lisa successfully attempts to make Jessica act like her character offstage, but winds up turning a bunch of dressmaker's dummies into singing pirates that run amuck at school (thanks to a distraction from Gary)! They take Scampi as prisoner -- his impromptu song about wishing that his mother could save him spared the principle from being skewered -- and make Chett their new captain after he KO's the old one. Eventually, the pirates escape from Farber High and rampage through town.

The solution to this chaos comes in the form of... well, I won't say. But keep in mind that these dudes love music, regardless of how arcane.

This was the first episode I ever watched. If there's any one episode that's almost guaranteed to seal the deal on watching this show, this is it. It's got a good number of out-of-left-field moments. How can you not laugh at a villain song about attacking a petting zoo and Pirate! Chett blasts out "Perhaps I'll get a pony ride!" at the end?