As the Ghost of Gerard Stiles would no doubt say: Who wants to have fun? :rotflmao:

Back in the good old Imdb days, us DS fans had years of fun with this. Here's how it works:

1. A Dark Shadows related question is asked ( can be about a character, a place, an object, a storyline, etc...)

2. The responding person posts an answer to the question, that is obviously wrong. The more over-the-top wrong and expansive, the better. This person, then concludes their post with the next question. If no one answers their question within a couple of days, they may respond to their own, and ask another one.

Example: Who was Jason McGuire?

Answer: Jason was the local Minister. Elizabeth Stoddard was always thrilled whenever he came to visit. Roger begged him to marry his sister. Carolyn brought a starter pistol to the wedding, to get the festivities going.

Next Question: What was Chris Jennings' little problem?

...and, so on.

Game commences with my next post, in 3, 2, 1....

First Question: Just what was it Willie Loomis was searching for that fateful night in Eagle Hill Cemetery?

Willie was searching for his long lost wife, Mary Beth Lacey

Quentin's Theme was played on a ________.

Last Question:

Quentin's Theme was played on a ________.

Answer: Stolen Kazoo.

Next Question: What was so important about Roger's PEN being found on the beach after Bill Malloy's murder?

It was important to Roger because he had an APB (All Pen Bulletin) out for it.

David Collins was saved by Vicky when he almost died in a boathouse fire, with his mother, _______.

Previous Question: David Collins was saved by Vicky when he almost died in a boathouse fire, with his mother, _______.

Answer: Almira Gulch. She thought Dorothy and her little dog were in the place also when she lit it up.

Next Question: Why would Willie Loomis never let anyone see the basement at the Old House?

Because the mold hadn't been remediated.

How did Victoria Winters transport in time, back to the year 1795?

Last Question: How did Victoria Winters transport in time, back to the year 1795?

Answer: David slipped LSD into her oatmeal.

Next Question: What spell did Angelique cast upon Joshua Collins in 1795?

She made him lose a spelling bee at the school house.

What did Joshua do to deal with the spell on Barnabas?

Last Question: What did Joshua do to deal with the spell on Barnabas?

Answer: He had Victoria Winters turn himself into a cat, so he could snack on mice while spying on Angelique, hoping she might unknowingly reveal a cure for her spell. He left Lt. Nathan Forbes in charge at the shipyard, seeing as how Nathan was so trustworthy.

Next Question: What really was in that Naga Box Oberon and Haza had Barnabas give to the Todd's?

It contained watermelon seeds Barnabas spat into it.

When Barnabas and Julia were were transported to 1995 Collinwood, what did they find?

"It contained watermelon seeds Barnabas spat into it."

...which would explain why Jeb Hawks was so goofy.

Last Question: When Barnabas and Julia were were transported to 1995 Collinwood, what did they find?

Answer: Infomercials and Grunge Rock. Horrifying!!!

Next Question: The hairdo of Bruno Hess... Why? No, really, WHY???

He was auditioning for a hair stylist gig at the Collinsport Boutique.

How did Petofi plot to kill Aristede, and did he eventually succeed?

Last Question: How did Petofi plot to kill Aristede, and did he eventually succeed?

Answer: Petofi put two shiny pennies at the bottom of a wood-chipper. Judith Collins was eternally grateful for the fertilizer Petofi gave her. Her ferns grew like wildfire.

Next Question: What REALLY happened to poor Innkeeper, Mr. Wells, that night of the full moon?

In a tipsy stupor he fell off Widow's Hill.

What was odd, or different, about the remote parlor at Collinwood?

Last Question: What was odd, or different, about the remote parlor at Collinwood?

Answer: It was odd and different in that one had to use a ladder, and then strap oneself into a chair, as all the furniture was nailed upside down to the ceiling. Roger loved it, because he found it quite challenging to sip his brandy in that position.

Next Question: Why was 17th Century Warlock Judah Zachary's head in a glass box?

Last Question: Why was 17th Century Warlock Judah Zachary's head in a glass box?

Answer: As Leader of Collinsport's coven of witchcraft practitioners, Judah was held in high esteem by his followers. After his unfortunate fatal accident with a... (well, we can get onto that in a future post), his followers decided to honor him by keeping his head for prosperity. Knowing his struggles with claustrophobia, they opted for a glass display case rather than wood or metal. Judah wouldn't have wanted anyone seeing him cry like a Karen, so they went with the glass instead.

Next Question: Why wouldn't Elizabeth Stoddard allow anyone into the locked basement room for eighteen years?

Because she feared someone would find Rev. Trask's body walled up in there.

How was Count Petofi associated with Quentin Collins?

Last Question: How was Count Petofi associated with Quentin Collins?

Answer: Potofi, Quentin Collins, Larry Talbot and Waldemar Daninsky were all former members of MA. Petofi was the only one who figured out that what their mothers had told them was true: "If you don't stop, you'll grow hair all over." Petofi went so far as to have a gypsy cut off his hand, to stop himself. It worked. The other guys, including Quentin... never recovered.

Next Question: Adam went to visit his friend, Professor Stokes. There was a knock at the door, and Stokes told Adam to hide in the other room. He never came out, never to be seen again. Whatever happened to Adam?

He was ejected into a pit of alligators.

Why do the 1795 Collinses think Victoria Winters is a witch?

Last Question: Why do the 1795 Collinses think Victoria Winters is a witch?

Answer: The pointy black hat, and the broom... together with the "I am a Witch!" sign David had stuck on her back when the lights went out at the seance, were their very first clues. The Coven Local 666 union membership card Naomi discovered in her sock drawer the following day, pretty much sealed it.

Next Question: What exactly was Roger's job at the Collins Cannery?

He licked the glue on the labels, and stuck them on the cans.

Who was Laura Collins and what did she want when she visited Collinwood in 1966?

Last Question: Who was Laura Collins and what did she want when she visited Collinwood in 1966?

Answer: Laura Collins was the half-sister of Roger and Elizabeth. Her father was Larry Mondello. (We'll discuss him in a future post). Unknown to Liz, David was the product of Roger and Laura's forbidden romance.

Laura had been the first choice for PBS's Big Bird, but she hated the role, defiantly burning the suit, and returning to Collinsport.

Upon arrival, she informed Roger that she would reveal all to Liz. She demanded Roger give her his Red Sox Season Ticket, and his entire lingerie collection. She threatened to not only rat him out to Liz, but also burn the ticket and the lingerie.

Roger had no choice but to relent. He cried himself to sleep every night for weeks, having nothing comfortable to snooze in.

Next Question: In exchange for wealth, what did the Leviathans demand of Paul Stoddard?

In exchange for wealth, the Leviathans demanded Paul Stoddard marry the ugliest girl in town.

Alex and Claire Jenkins write ________ together.

Last Question: Alex and Claire Jenkins write ________ together.

Answer: A Cooking Blog, titled White Smoke.

Next Question: Mrs. Johnson, who is she, REALLY?

Mrs. Johnson is really the Wicked Witch of the West. The broom she uses in the Collinwood kitchen is really her mode of transportation--after hours, Carolyn wonders why the broom isn't there when she wants to sweep up something.

Who is Charles "Delaware" Tate?

Last Question: Who is Charles "Delaware" Tate?

Answer: In House of Dark Shadows, Chucky Tate, a middling wannabe artist, from Delaware, had a strange obsession for Maggie Evans. Maggie, the live in psychologist who's treating David Collins for his bed wetting, pyromania and torturing of small animals, is the long term fiance of Barnabas Collins.

Chucky, starts stalking Maggie with a cross-bow. He eventually disrupts their wedding, shooting Reverend Loomis with the weapon. He then murders Barnabas with the brake bleeder valve from Roger's Jaguar, and abducts Maggie.

Next Question: What was up with all that really strange breathing emanating from Phillip and Megan Todd's nursery?

Grandpa Todd's bed was in there and he had asthma.

What is Windcliff and what, if anything, did Julia have to do with it?

Last Question: What is Windcliff and what, if anything, did Julia have to do with it?

Answer: Windcliff was a seafood restaurant, located on the rocky coast of Maine, 6.66 miles North of Collinsport. Although their menu boasted an extensive selection of fine food, in reality they were always out of everything except microwaved fish sticks and tater tots.

The "restaurant" was in fact just a front for a sedative distribution ring, operated by an unlicensed quack, who often used the name Julia Hoffman. Her medicine and psychology degrees were fakes, obtained from a diploma mill, operated by the equally fake Reverend Trask.

Next Question: How did the fabulously dressed, gifted conversationalist, Mr. Juggins come to be stuck up the Collinwood attic all those years?

Last Question: How did the fabulously dressed, gifted conversationalist, Mr. Juggins come to be stuck up the Collinwood attic all those years?

Answer: Juggins was originally a gift, given in appreciation to the Collins family by Magda Rakosi, the Gypsy in residence at the Old House during the late 1890s. Magda created the mannequin with the ability to talk, and gifted it to Judith as a curiosity item for the Collinwood drawing room.

Juggins provided hours of heartwarming entertainment, discussing current events, fashion trends and telling humorous tales of imaginary adventures. Then, Quentin returned to Collinwood.

Quentin, a dabbler in the black arts, reprogrammed Juggins. Upon hearing Juggins endlessly chat on and on about worker's rights, quoting passages from Marx and encouraging the employees of the Collins Fishing Fleet to unionize, Judith had Edward carry him to the attic. There he stood, for decades, until David and Amy found him.

Next Question: The Ghost of Gerard, why so grim?

Last Question: The Ghost of Gerard, why so grim?

Answer: You'd have a pouty face too, if you hadn't had a bowel movement in 130 years.

Next Question: What was Mrs. Johnson's occupation twenty years prior to being housekeeper at Collinwood?

Last Question: What was Mrs. Johnson's occupation twenty years prior to being housekeeper at Collinwood?

Answer: Mrs. Johnson was never actually married. She used the title to sell her homemade mayonnaise in stores throughout Coastal New England (and remote villages in Southwest Lichtenstein). The name just seemed more marketable than her birth name, Blanche Stenchrimple. This all ended, of course, when Horace Gladstone allegedly found a brake bleeder valve in a jar of her mayo he'd purportedly purchased in Bangor. After the failure of her enterprise, she took the job as Bill Malloy's First Mate on his fishing boat. After his death, she worked at Collinwood.

Next Question: Why did Burke Devlin return to Collinsport?

He left his wallet at the Blue Whale.

What was the connection between Gerard Stiles and Judah Zachary?

Last Question: What was the connection between Gerard Stiles and Judah Zachary?

Answer: Duct tape. Judah's head would flop around if Gerard moved too suddenly, but everything worked. Red Green was very handy in making it happen.

Next Question: Why was Paul Stoddard peeping in windows upon his return to Collinsport?

Because he was hoping to sneak a peek of Mrs. Johnson. No, but seriously, he was hoping to catch a snatch of Daphne. No, but seriously...

Why was David always under the spell or influence of some supernatural being?

Last Question: Why was David always under the spell or infl
uence of some supernatural being?

Answer: In truth, he actually wasn't. David, as an adolescent, was years ahead of most budding malignant narcissist psychopaths. Already quite skilled in gaslighting and projection, he mearly made everyone think there were supernatural forces at work, diverting blame for his own skullduggery.

Next Question: what's the real reason Elizabeth Stoddard never left Collinwood for eighteen years?

Last Question: what's the real reason Elizabeth Stoddard never left Collinwood for eighteen years?

Answer: As a loyal member of the Leviathan Cult, in 1949, Liz was obligated to use only their line of over-priced, minimally exceptional hair care products. They made her go bald. She simply was afraid that Collinsport's winds would blow her wig off, exposing her to embarrassment. It wasn't until 1967, when Sheriff Patterson and Burke Devlin recovered her bottle of Magda Rokosi's Magic Hair Restorer, buried in the basement by Jason McGuire, that she finally was free. Patterson was so disgusted by Jason's cruelty, he ordered him to leave town. Rumor has it, Barnabas Collins and Willie Loomis helped Jason to go Down Under.

Next Question: Just what were these "Incestors" that Roger Collins spoke of?

Last Question: Just what were these "Incestors" that Roger Collins spoke of?

Answer: Many viewers assumed that Roger Collins had simply made a hilarious flub during that episode of his family's Daytime Reality Series, Dark Shadows. Not so.

Roger accidentally let the truth slip out. Liz Stoddard was targeted for membership, in 1949, by the Only Royal Pure Blood Will Do branch of the Leviathan Cult. Ultimately deciding to stick with the New England Branch, there were no hard feelings. In fact, the faux candelabras on either side of the front doors in the entryway, were a gift from the group.

Next Question: What's the Real reason Barnabas Collins left his cane behind in the Coffee Shop, upon first meeting Maggie Evans?

Because his sciatica was feeling better.

What was Willie looking for when he opened Barnabas' coffin in the secret mausoleum room?

Last Question: What was Willie looking for when he opened Barnabas' coffin in the secret mausoleum room?

Answer: Millicent Collins's lace bloomers. Willie apparently misread the clues he was following.

Next Question: What Really happened to Burke Devlin when he departed for South America, and was never seen again?

Last Question: What Really happened to Burke Devlin when he departed for South America, and was never seen again?

Answer: The pilot of Burke's plane baled out, as planned, and safely parachuted to the prearranged spot in the Amazon Jungle. He was safely rescued by those hired to be there.

The money Liz Stoddard had deposited in a Swiss bank account, enabled the pilot to live quite comfortably in Jamaica for decades thereafter.

Victoria Winters never had a clue.

Next Question: What was the Family Secret Edith Collins failed to pass on in 1897?

Last Question: What was the Family Secret Edith Collins failed to pass on in 1897?

Answer: Who Hash. Edith failed to tell Edward the secret location of the last can of Who Hash on the planet, which Joshua Collins had cleverly hidden in a chained coffin within the secret room of the Collins Mausoleum at Eagle Hill. Edith, who died of fright upon mistaking Barnabas Collins for Mister Grinch, was unable to inform Edward of the truth. Sandor Rakosi, acting on a tip from his wife, Magda, recovered the treasure from the Mausoleum. Upon eating from the can, which was more than a century past its expiration date, Sandor died of food poisoning.

Next Question: What was Ben's job on the Collins Estate in 1795?

Last Question: What was Ben's job on the Collins Estate in 1795?

Answer: Ben was in charge of ensuring all VHS Tapes were promptly rewound, and to hold the Rabbit Ears in the correct position while Master Joshua watched The Banana Splits and The Flying Nun.

Next Question: During their frightening side trip to 1995, Barnabas and Julia discover Mrs. Johnson, dead, in the woods. How did Mrs. Johnson die?

During their frightening side trip to 1995, Barnabas and Julia discover Mrs. Johnson, dead, in the woods. How did Mrs. Johnson die?

Mrs. Johnson got bit by a deadly snake.

How did Lorna Bell die?

Lorna Bell died when when a hard cookie struck her in the head after David threw it.

What did Julia treat Barnabas for?

Last Question: What did Julia treat Barnabas for?

Answer: Excessive Thirst.

Next Question: Why did Magda curse Quentin Collins with Lycanthropy in 1897?

Because he stole her trinkets.

What curse was on Chris Jennings?

Last Question: What curse was on Chris Jennings?

Answer: Poor Chris Jennings. He was cursed with Animal Magnetism. He got it during a midnight showing of Frankenstein's Bloody Terror. He'd stepped out to use the restroom, and returned during a crucial scene. Just as Imre Wolfstein shouted "My curse on you." Chris was standing, blocking the view of a gypsy. The gypsy pointed at Chris, and said "Yes, You!"

After that, women couldn't keep their hands off him. He tried everything to repel them: wearing a full jar of Mrs. Johnson's homemade mayonnaise, using the brake fluid from Roger's car as cologne (courtesy of David), and sporting a Nixon Now button. Nothing worked. They all just went to bloody pieces around him.

Next Question: So, why did Angelique Curse Barnabas Collins, really?

Angelique really cursed Barnabas Collins because he stole her grandmother's dentures.

David removed the _________ from Roger's car.

David removed the seats from Roger's car.

Why did Laura spend so much time at fireplaces?

Last Question: Why did Laura spend so much time at fireplaces?

Answer: Laura hoped it would make her less frigid. Good luck finding even one man who'd say it worked.

Next Question: So, how did Reverend Trask end up behind the wall in the basement of the Old House?

Last Question: So, how did Reverend Trask end up behind the wall in the basement of the Old House?

Answer: Trask knew that, due to social isolation as a vampire, his dearest friend, Barnabas Collins, would be spending Christmas alone at the Old House. The ever cheerful minister dressed up as Santa, and went down the wrong chimney. Instead of the Drawing Room fireplace, he ended up falling all the way into the walled-off basement fireplace. His body was never found.

Barnabas did often wonder why he could swear he heard a ghostly voice humming Christmas tunes while he was trying to sleep in his coffin. Willie thought he was crazy.

Next Question: What caused Roger Collins to wreck his car into a tree? Why was David to blame?

Last Question: What caused Roger Collins to wreck his car into a tree? Why was David to blame?

Answer: David left his copy of Mad Magazine on the front seat of his Mother's Ex-husband's car. Roger was distracted by his favorite recurring feature, Spy vs Spy, and missed a curve.

Next Question: Why did Burke Devlin want Mrs. Johnson to spy for him at Collinwood?

Burke Devlin wanted Mrs. Johnson to spy for him at Collinwood because he wanted to find out if Victoria was seeing another man.

Why was Burke Devlin sent to prison for five years?

Last Question: Why was Burke Devlin sent to prison for five years?

Answer: Burke actually insisted on being sent to State Prison for a simple parking ticket. He wanted to take Auto Repair courses, and get certified as a mechanic. In his prison courses, he learned how to rotate tires, change oil, do body work and remove brake bleeder valves, etc....

Next Question: Why was there a big Television Camera in the doorway to Maggie's hospital room the night Sam Evans had found her on the beach below Widow's Hill? Hmm?

Previous Question: Why was there a big Television Camera in the doorway to Maggie's hospital room the night Sam Evans had found her on the beach below Widow's Hill? Hmm?

Answer: News media throughout New England, rushed to Collinsport that night, with great expectations. ABC even pressed their Daytime Soaps Cameras into emergency service, sending a full crew to the small hospital on the rocky coast of Maine. The hallway was jammed full of television equipment that night, and the ABC Soap camera was first to capture the true story: Roger Collins's long lost pen had not been found on the beach, just some girl.

Next Question: Prior to Maggie's escape from the Old House, Barnabas had Willie Loomis make a coffin for her. Why was Willie using a script page as if it were sandpaper, and why did this appear to amuse Barnabas Collins? Hmm?

Previous Question: Prior to Maggie's escape from the Old House, Barnabas had Willie Loomis make a coffin for her. Why was Willie using a script page as if it were sandpaper, and why did this appear to amuse Barnabas Collins? Hmm?

Answer: Being a Daytime Reality Series, there shouldn't have been any scripts, visible on camera or otherwise. Willie was right to use his quick thinking, deploying the paper to "sand" the coffin lid. Barnabas rightly admired Willie's ingenuity in sparing the show's millions of viewers from the revelation the show was not real, and in fact scripted. Whew!

Next Question: Why did Barnabas Collins slash the painting Victoria Winters had bought?

Previous Question: Why did Barnabas Collins slash the painting Victoria Winters had bought?

Answer: Barnabas Collins was one of a few activist art critics at the time, known as The Slashers. These critics, armed with knives, razors, machetes, and the like... wouldn't write bad reviews, they would simply slash and destroy the artworks. Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger and Michael Myers were particularly prolific in their contempt for the work of contemporary teenagers.

Next Question: Harry Johnson... What's his major malfunction?

Harry Johnson... What's his major malfunction? He had a wardrobe malfunction when his pants kept slipping down.

Who is Bob Rooney?

A commentator (of the time) on 60 minutes.

Who is Pansy?

Previous Question: Who is Pansy?

Answer: Ask any of the bikers at the Bedford Atrocities Bar and Grill, they'll tell you all about Jason McGuire.

Next Question: What did Victoria Winters purchase at the art gallery in Bangor that so offended Barnabas Collins, he took a knife to it?

Previous Question: What did Victoria Winters purchase at the art gallery in Bangor that so offended Barnabas Collins, he took a knife to it?

Answer: Vicky insisted on displaying her recently acquired H.R. Pufnstuf bobblehead in the Collinwood Drawing room. Barnabas feared that Elizabeth, while drinking her customary five or six glasses of after-dinner Brandy, would have flashbacks to her time on the run from Witchiepoo.

Next Question: Why did we never see Angelique on a broom?

Why did we never see Angelique on a broom? Angelique was a fast woman who used a vacuum cleaner instead of a broom.

There was a jukebox in the corner at The Blue Whale which cost ___¢ per song.

Previous Question: There was a jukebox in the corner at The Blue Whale which cost ___¢ per song.

Answer: The Blue Whale, which was not only a Bar, but also a portal to H***, had a Juke Box with only two songs, and it cost 666 cents per play.

Next Question: Why did Roger Collins insist on paying so much for Sam's middling paintings?

LOL at 666 cents

Why did Roger Collins insist on paying so much for Sam's middling paintings? Roger insisted on paying so much because he heard Sam was going to be destitute soon from all his hard drinking and he knew he'd need money.

What place on the show was going to be called The Rainbow Bar until they changed it?

Previous Question: What place on the show was going to be called The Rainbow Bar until they changed it?

Answer: Worthington Hall. Reverend Trask decided running an abusive school was more to his liking.

Next Question: So, what about this fire that got David expelled from a private school?

Previous Question: So, what about this fire that got David expelled from a private school?

Answer: David was showing off a model rocket engine he'd brought to school, when it spontaneously lit off, cathing a nearby roll of toilet paper on fire. The school headmistress got all bent out of shape, and expelled him. That's how he ended up getting Victoria Winters as his Governess.

Next Question: Why were there no pets seen at Collinwood?

Previous Question: So, what about this fire that got David expelled from a private school?

Answer: David was showing off a model rocket engine he'd brought to school, when it spontaneously lit off, catching a nearby roll of toilet paper on fire. The school headmistress got all bent out of shape, and expelled him. That's how he ended up getting Victoria Winters as his Governess.

Next Question: Why were there no pets seen at Collinwood?

Why were there no pets seen at Collinwood?

David sold all his pets to a circus to make money to buy a cool radio.

What is the name of the mansion the Collins family lives in?

Collins Port.

What does Mrs. Johnson do?

Mrs. Johnson juggles knives at the carnival.

Who did Count Petofi fear?

Professor Stokes.

Who opened Barnabas' coffin after his long being chained in there?

Hazel Burke

What did Victoria Winters take from Seaview House?

Amy's hair ribbon

Gerard Stiles was possessed by ...

Gerard Stiles was possessed by Mrs. Brady.

Josette came to Collinsport in 1795 to marry ________.

Josette came to Collinsport in 1795 to marry Quentin Collins.

Angelique came to Collinsport to practice __________.

Angelique came to Collinsport to practice bird calling.

Who sent a vampire bat to bite Barnabas?

Elizabeth Stoddard got a bat from her belfry.

Why did Barnabas time-travel to the year 1897?

Barnabas time-traveled to the year 1897 to attend the dedication of Grant's Tomb in New York.

Why did Portia Fitzsimmons, an art dealer, visit Sam?

Because she wanted to see his etchings.

The disembodied _______ of Judah Zachary caused trouble.

The disembodied nose of Judah Zachary caused trouble.

Miranda and Judah were captured by _____ hunters.

Miranda and Judah were captured by uranium hunters.

The residents of Collinwood were able to observe happenings in parallel time by ....

The residents of Collinwood were able to observe happenings in parallel time by getting into their spaceship and zooming around.

What is David's middle name?

David's middle name is Trouble.

Who are the Leviathans?

^LOL

The Leviathans are people who invented Levi Jeans.

Carl Collins had a reputation for being __________.

Carl Collins had a reputation for being a werewolf.

Barnabas spent his days ....

Barnabas spent his days knitting red turtleneck sweaters.

What was the name of the innkeeper at Collinsport Inn?

Paris Hilton

What is the Blue Whale?

Blue Whale is similar to baked Alaska, but with more blubber, and is served at the inn.

Why did Count Petofi use an alias?

Because he didn't want anyone to know he was really Professor Stokes.

What sort of supernatural being was David's mother?

David's mother was half-pony, half-dog.

Who is the great love of Barnabas' life?

Pansy Faye

Why does Quentin always have a scowl on his face when he's with David and Amy?

Quentin always has a scowl on his face when he's with David and Amy because he loathes the sight of children.

What was the name of the silversmith in Collinsport?

Sterling Leadbody

What did Dr. Hoffman try to cure Barnabas of?

Dr. Hoffman tried to cure Barnabas of malaise.

What did Willie call Maggie when she declined to let him buy her a drink at the Blue Whale?

Meanie Bobeanie

Why did Roger have problems with David?

Roger had problems with David because he disliked his bratty friend Gilbert.

During Judah Zachary's youth, he was a well-known ________.

During Judah Zachary's youth, he was a well-known drunkard at the Blue Whale.

Barnabas used the I Ching wands to ....

Barnabas used the I Ching wands to hypnotize Victoria.

Who killed Mr. Wells and how did he die?

When Victoria rode the train into Collinsport, he was struck by the train as he walked on the tracks. He was killed because the engineer made no effort to stop the train.

Why was the ghost of Quentin so evil when David and Amy discovered his room?

The ghost of Quentin was evil when David and Amy discovered his room because he hadn't tidied up the place and it was a pigsty.

What was the terrible secret Elizabeth had?

Her terrible secret was that she dropped a stitch on her knitting once in a while.

Who is Paul Stoddard and what does he have to do with the Collinses?

Paul Stoddard was the brother of Paula Stoddard, a doctor who fell in love with Barnabas.

What was the name of the small house Burke tried to buy?

Rose Cottage

What had happened to Collinwood when Barnabas and Julia "missed their year" and ended up in 1995?

What had happened to Collinwood when Barnabas and Julia "missed their year" and ended up in 1995 was that the house had been vandalized and graffiti marred.

What did Sarah Collins die from?

She jumped from Widow's Hill.

What happened to the 1795 Rev. Trask when he went missing?

When the 1795 Rev. Trask went missing he had hopped on a bus with Gus.

Who worked as a maid to Josette DuPres?

Mrs. Johnson

Who unchained Barnabas' coffin?

The Righteous Brothers unchained Barnabas' coffin and sang Unchained Melody while doing so.

How did Reverend Trask die?

^ LOL! (rumor has it they originally wanted to call the song "Unchained Coffin")

Barnabas wrapped a chain around his neck, but paused to drain him first.

Barnabas slept in ......

Barnabas slept in the nude! (Shhhh!)

What did Mrs. Stoddard need Victoria Winters for?

She needed her because she was a great hair stylist.

Victoria Winters rode into town on a ________.

Victoria Winters rode into town on a one-trick pony.

Burke Devlin tried to get the employees of the Collins Cannery to _________.

Burke Devlin tried to get the employees of the Collins Cannery to start canning his home-grown tomatoes.

Burke was suspected of rigging Roger's car to crash, but _______ really caused it.

Burke was suspected of rigging Roger's car to crash, but The Monkees really caused it.

Why did Barnabas travel to the year 1897?

Because he thought vampires were more accepted then than in the present.

Chris Jennings had a curse on him that turned him into a _________.

Chris Jennings had a curse on him that turned him into a student of Mr. Kotter's in 1976.

Which woman did Barnabas kidnap in an attempt to bring back his late fiancée?

Barnabas kidnapped Beverly Garland off the set of My Three Sons.

Whose disembodied head was brought to Collinwood by Desmond Collins?

Ward Cleaver's disembodied head was brought to Collinwood by Desmond Collins.

What is Elizabeth's brother's first name?

^LOL

Phil (Collins)

In 1897, Carl Collins returned to Collinwood from Atlantic City and brought ______ with him.

^LOL

Phil (Collins)

In 1897, Carl Collins returned to Collinwood from Atlantic City and brought ______ with him.

In 1897, Carl Collins returned to Collinwood from Atlantic City and brought Danny Aiello with him.

Eric Lang used parts of _______ to create a new living being.

Eric Lang used parts of a Star Trek android to create a new living being.

Who is Alexis Stokes?

Alexis Stokes is the best friend of Victoria Winters, from her old alma mater.

Angelique was able to rise from the grave and switch places with ________.

Angelique was able to rise from the grave and switch places with Elizabeth Stoddard. She then cast a spell on her to make her better at remembering her lines.

What kind of company did the Collins family run?

^LOL

The Collins family run a tavern called The Red Fish.

Jonathan Frid was walking out the door to catch a plane when the phone rang. Who was it?

^LOL

The Collins family run a tavern called The Red Fish.

Jonathan Frid was walking out the door to catch a plane when the phone rang. Who was it?

It was the nurse at his doctor's office. She told him she was feeling drained and accused him of causing it because he wanted an evening appointment.

What is Windcliff?

It was the nurse at his doctor's office. She told him she was feeling drained and accused him of causing it because he wanted an evening appointment.

What is Windcliff?

LOL^

Windcliff is Maggie's favorite pop song.

What drove Crazy Jenny crazy?

She went over the edge when she opened every Collinwood door and found a ghost in every room.

A picture of ______ hung in the Collinwood foyer.

A picture of Grover Cleveland hung in the Collinwood foyer.

Who cursed Quentin Collins and his descendants to howl at the full moon?

Wolfgang Mozart

Victoria participated in a seance, she disappeared, and ended up ........

LOL^

Victoria participated in a seance, she disappeared, and ended up in Hooterville.

The dangerous and beautiful witch once worked as a ______.

LOL^

Victoria participated in a seance, she disappeared, and ended up in Hooterville.

The dangerous and beautiful witch once worked as a ______.

LOL^

The dangerous and beautiful witch once worked as a chauffeur for Jerry Seinfeld, but quit because of his smelly car.

Roger had a bad relationship with ...

LOL!^

Roger had a bad relationship with alcohol.

_____'s ghost helped Maggie escape from Barnabas.

LOL!^

Roger had a bad relationship with alcohol.

_____'s ghost helped Maggie escape from Barnabas.

Herman Munster's ghost helped Maggie escape from Barnabas.

Count Petofi places his mind in ________'s body, and vice versa.

Count Petofi places his mind in Eddie Munster's body, and vice versa.

Barnabas meets Maggie Evans and notices that she looks exactly like ______.

Barnabas meets Maggie Evans and notices that she looks exactly like Miss Piggy.

Petofi's power comes from ...

Petofi's power comes from the gold-plated underwear he wears.

Bathia Mapes was consumed by ________.

Petofi's power comes from the gold-plated underwear he wears.

Bathia Mapes was consumed by ________.

LOL^

Bathia Mapes was consumed by her desire for an Oreo Pumpkin Spice cookie.

Charles Delaware Tate was hired to paint a portrait of __________.

LOL^

Bathia Mapes was consumed by her desire for an Oreo Pumpkin Spice cookie.

Charles Delaware Tate was hired to paint a portrait of __________.

Charles Delaware Tate was hired to paint a portrait of Timothy Shaw.

In 1795 Josette and Jeremiah Collins had their honeymoon at ______.

In 1795 Josette and Jeremiah Collins had their honeymoon at Dick and Joanna's Stratford Inn.

Who is Garth Blackwood?

A 2nd grader :)

Who is the main character?

The main character is Sponge Bob.

What does Maggie's father do?

The main character is Sponge Bob.

What does Maggie's father do?

Cleans Toilets...

Which episode is Sponge Bob kn?

Post to change last post name--see above post.

Which episode is Sponge Bob in?

Sponge Bob is in all the episodes, he is the star. He uses his sponge to soak up all of the blood that is spilled in town.

Who was Quentin Collins' true love?

Quentin's true love is Morticia Addams.

Who is Mordecai Grimes?

Mordecai Grimes is a grimy garbage man.

Who is Mrs. Pettibone?

Mrs. Pettibone is David's latest action figure.

When Julia figures out Barnabas is a vampire, she ...

When Julia figures out Barnabas is a vampire, she flipped her wig and revealed she was bald!

Who did the voice overs for the first year?

^LOL

Clarice Blackburn.

Besides Dr. Julia Hoffman, name another role in the show, played by Grayson Hall.

Another role in the show played by Grayson Hall was a cocktail waitress who had a crush on Sam Evans.

Cyrus Longworth dreamed of becoming a _______.

Pilot......... She always talked about being a pilot and flying high in the air.......

Her son wanted to be a surgeon can ya believe it?

I can't believe anything about him.

Besides Mrs. Johnson, Clarice Blackburn also played ...

Besides Mrs. Johnson, Clarice Blackburn also played Mr. Johnson.

Who is Lady Hampshire?

^LOL

She is the wife of the Duke of Earl.

What is a dream curse?

A dream curse is a dessert whipped up by Mrs. Johnson made with Cool Whip and custard.

Who was Adam Bilodeau?

He was a guy who regretted eating an apple or some other fruit.

Why did Burke come back to Collinsport?

Burke come back to Collinsport to collect Adam's apples.

Creator Dan Curtis claimed he had a dream in 1965 of a what?

Creator Dan Curtis claimed he had a dream in 1965 of a big pile of money to be made in a talk show hosted by Joan Bennett.

Barnabas murdered Jason McGuire by ..... (what method?)

Barnabas murdered Jason McGuire by stuffing a jawbreaker down his throat.

Who was Quentin Collins' first wife?

^LOL

Julia Hoffman

Who was David Collins' mother?

David Collins' mother was Ann Marie from Brewster, NY.

What is Laura Collins obsessed with?

Experiencing the Antarctic chill.

Willie Loomis' main job was to ...

Willie Loomis' main job was to corral the pigs into the sty.

Who taught Ben to read and write?

Professor Stokes, and this was a very difficult task (due to casting)!

Who, if anyone, jumped from Widows' Hill?

Professor Stokes, and this was a very difficult task (due to casting)!

Who, if anyone, jumped from Widows' Hill?

Carolyn Stoddard jumped from Widows' Hill because she was disgusted at herself for dating a man named Buzz.

Carolyn used to think the wind and the waves would give her the answers to ________.

Carolyn Stoddard jumped from Widows' Hill because she was disgusted at herself for dating a man named Buzz.

Carolyn used to think the wind and the waves would give her the answers to ________.

Carolyn used to think the wind and the waves would give her the answers to why she kept thinking she was Charity Trask.

Gerard Stiles was an OK guy until he was possessed by ...

Gerard Stiles was an OK guy until he was possessed by Toony the Tuna.

Who was the law student who unsuccessfully defended Victoria Winters in 1795?

^LOL

A young (at the time) John Houseman

Dirk Wilkins tried to kill _______.

Dirk Wilkins tried to kill Bonnie And Clyde.

Barnabas was secretly buried in a hidden room of ________.

Barnabas was secretly buried in a hidden room of Fort Knox.

Laura Collins died in a ...

Laura Collins died in a plastic bubble.

Angelique used her powers to cure Barnabas and to place a doppelganger in ______.

Angelique used her powers to cure Barnabas and to place a doppelganger in the Cleaver basement.

Who is Amy Jennings?

Amy Jennings is the first girl that David Collins and Wally Cleaver kissed.

Dr. Julia Hoffman took a sabbatical from her medical profession to spend time collating a comprehensive history of __________.

Dr. Julia Hoffman took a sabbatical from her medical profession to spend time collating a comprehensive history of the use of ether as an anesthetic.

Dr. Hoffman figured out that Barnabas was a/an ...

Dr. Hoffman figured out that Barnabas was hemophobic.

When Carolyn was around two years old, her father, Paul, left Collinwood with ______.

When Carolyn was around two years old, her father, Paul, left Collinwood with Tiny Tim, to tiptoe thru the tulips.

Carolyn's mother was ...

^LOL

Carolyn's mother was a terrible cook.

Barnabas' favorite midnight snack was ______.

Barnabas' favorite midnight snack was a Bloody Mary with a bite to eat on the side.

No one could seem to remember seeing Barnabas at ...

No one could seem to remember seeing Barnabas at Bingo Night.

Lamar goes to Collinwood and informs Quentin of _______ death.

Lamar goes to Collinwood and informs Quentin of Abe Lincoln's death.

The Collins family mausoleum has ...

Lamar goes to Collinwood and informs Quentin of Abe Lincoln's death.

The Collins family mausoleum has ...

The Collins family mausoleum has a secret tunnel that leads to the year 1969.

Chris is locked up in the secret room, unable to change back to ______.

Chris is locked up in the secret room, unable to change back to an ape.

You enter the secret room by ...

You enter the secret room by tapping your ruby slippers together three times and saying, There's no place like home.

Behind the gravemarker of Naomi Collins there is a door which leads to ________.

Behind the gravemarker of Naomi Collins there is a door which leads to the city on the edge of forever.

Who is Bramwell Colllins?

Bramwell Collins is the new host of Wheel of Shadows, a game show David likes to watch.

Who is Carlotta Drake?

Carlotta Drake is the host of the new game show, Who Wants to Be A Collins?, which Elizabeth likes to watch.

What was the Collinwood way to entering parallel time?

^LOL

The Collinwood way to entering parallel time was via Hooterville, on a flying pig.

Who was the second wife of Quentin Collins in the parallel time world of 1970?

^LOL

In parallel time of 1970, Quentin was married to Morticia Addams.

Who are the Leviathans?

The Leviathans are a group of hoodlums who ride motorcycles and wear Levi jeans.

Burke Devlin returned to Collinsport in 1966 to get revenge on ________.

Burke Devlin returned to Collinsport in 1966 to get revenge on Mrs. Johnson for serving him cold soup.

What was in the trunk the sheriff and Burke dug up in the Collinwood basement in 1967?

Eddie Haskell was hiding in the trunk the sheriff and Burke dug up in the Collinwood basement in 1967.

Edith was suspicious about ______.

Edith was suspicious about whether Widow's Hill really existed.

Who is Daphne?

Daphne is a daffy "fun girl" who dances at The Blue Whale.

The local newspaper, The ________ Star, is published daily.

The local newspaper, The Mockingbird Lane Star, is published daily.

How did Judah Zachary's head become disembodied?

Judah Zachary's head became disembodied when Herman Munster head butted him after he made a pass at his wife Lily.

According to Burke Devlin, the Blue Whale served the best _______ in the world.

According to Burke Devlin, the Blue Whale served the best whale meat in the world.

During a seance _______is transferred from the present to the year 1795.

During a seance David Collins is transferred from the present to the year 1795.

Maggie Evans was a waitress at the _______ coffee shop.

Maggie Evans was a waitress at the Waffle House coffee shop.

Barnabas thought Maggie Evans looked like ________.

Barnabas thought Maggie Evans looked like Audrey Hepburn.

David often heard his parents fighting about ______.

David often heard his parents fighting about Angelique's curses.

Who is Aristede?

Aristede was a show horse that David rode around the yard.

Aristede returned to Collinsport after he heard that Barnabas was _________.

Aristede returned to Collinsport after he heard that Barnabas was selling the old house.

When Willie Loomis first shows up at Collinwood he admires ______ in a painting.

When Willie Loomis first shows up at Collinwood he admires Elton John in a painting.

Quentin tricked Aristede into killing ______.

^LOL

Quentin tricked Aristede into killing a fly.

Besides Quentin, who else turned into a werewolf?

Besides Quentin, Hazel the housekeeper was also turned into a werewolf.

Julia sneaked into the Old House through a window and witnessed Barnabas _______.

Julia sneaked into the Old House through a window and witnessed Barnabas brushing his fangs.

Laura Collins was fascinated by ______.

Laura Collins was fascinated by the mating dance of peacocks.

When Julia examined Sabrina Stewart she found her weak from a _____ attack.

When Julia examined Sabrina Stewart she found her weak from a black widow spider attack.

Why was Maggie Evans admitted to Windcliffe Sanitarium?

Maggie Evans was admitted to Windcliffe Sanitarium for becoming addicted to watching The Flintstones.

When Maggie was a little girl, she had a doll called Cassandra and would get angry when her parents called it ______.

When Maggie was a little girl, she had a doll called Cassandra and would get angry when her parents called it Barbie.

Where was Rose Cottage, in 1970?

Rose Cottage in 1970 was in St. Olaf.

Why did David and Burke become close friends?

Because David wanted a piggy back ride and no one else would give him one.

Name something David did to make people think he was a brat.

David threw nuts at squirrels to make people think he was a brat.

For her 16th birthday, Carolyn received a birthstone ring from _______.

For her 16th birthday, Carolyn received a birthstone ring from President Johnson.

A portrait of ______ hangs in the drawing room at the Old House.

A portrait of Bea Arthur hangs in the drawing room at the Old House.

Willie carried his ________ till he was 19 years old.

Willie carried his pogo stick till he was 19 years old.

Evan Hanley's job was _________.

Evan Hanley's job was dusting Bea Arthur's portrait.

Quentin came to Evan's house and stole the _____.

Quentin came to Evan's house and stole the werewolf haircut set.

Barnabas carried a _____ all the time.

Barnabas carried a bucket all the time.

Tony caught Carolyn in his office trying to steal the ______.

Tony caught Carolyn in his office trying to steal the Wite Out correction fluid.

Gregory Trask was the headmaster of a school called ___________.

Gregory Trask was the headmaster of a school called Banana Bunch High School.

In 1970, both Philip Todd and Jeb Hawkes fell off _______.

In 1970, both Philip Todd and Jeb Hawkes fell off the wagon.

Jeb wanted to marry _________.

Jeb wanted to marry Wilma Flintstone.

Barnabas used his supernatural powers to summon a gypsy to _____ him.

Barnabas used his supernatural powers to summon a gypsy to marry him.

Who did Barnabas brick in, behind a basement wall?

Barnabas bricked in Sarah, behind a basement wall.

Dave Woodard treated Willie Loomis for acute _______.

Dave Woodard treated Willie Loomis for acute curiosity.

Why did Victoria visit the 18th century?

Victoria visited the 18th century to meet Thomas Jefferson, her idol.

Julia and Carolyn went antique shopping in ______.

Julia and Carolyn went antique shopping in their Halloween costumes.

When not century-hopping with Barnabas Julia ran ...

When not century-hopping with Barnabas Julia ran a beauty contest.

Sam sold a bunch of ________ for $15,000.

Sam sold a bunch of bananas for $15,000.

Charles Delaware Tate was a _______.

Charles Delaware Tate was a construction executive.

The character of Adam is inspired by the novel _______.

The character of Adam is inspired by the novel The Garden of Eden.

Barnabas went on a mission in the past to save _______.

Barnabas went on a mission in the past to save the whales.

Life changed drastically for Willie after coming into contact with _______.

Life changed drastically for Willie after coming into contact with Mary Beth Lacey.

Magda Rakosi put a werewolf curse on ___________.

Magda Rakosi put a werewolf curse on Danny Partridge.

Magda spoke through _______ during a seance.

^LOL

Magda spoke through an interpreter during a seance.

Jeb Hawkes was afraid of ...

Jeb Hawkes was afraid of the big bad wolf.

Jeb attempted to transform Paul's daughter into ________.

Jeb attempted to transform Paul's daughter into Raquel Welch.

Petofi had a plan to switch bodies with ________.