Skipper: I wish I could run around in my swim trunks, but I'd drive the girls crazy!

The Professor: I'm thankful the Skipper wears regular clothes because if he ran around in swim trunks, the girls would ignore me even more since I'm not nowhere near as handsome as he is.

Mr. Howell: "Wouldn't you know, I put up $50,000 for a wet tee shirt contest and the only one who entered was the damn skipper."

Lovey: Thurston, you're ugly. I'm going to marry the Skipper when we leave this island. Sorry, Bub.

Mr. Howell: "Wouldn't you know, I put up $50,000 for a wet tee shirt contest and the only one who entered was the damn skipper."

Mary Ann: That's because he's the only one of us who HAS a t-shirt. I never expected him to just bring the t-shirt from the clothes line to enter the contest.

Ginger: I'm too curvy. I wish my shape were more like Gilligan's. (sigh)

Skipper: "Just saw Gilligan taking a leak down by the lagoon. No more calling him "Little buddy."

Mrs. Howell to Thurston: I only socialize with the most refined, brilliant, charming people. So I'm leaving you for Gilligan!

Skipper: Hey Mary Ann and Ginger, can I sleep in your hut tonight?

Professor: Mr. Howell, why did you bring your teddy bear on a three-hour cruise?

Mrs. Howell: "Thurston darling, where's my chewing tobacco?"

Skipper: Hey Mary Ann and Ginger, do you want to go skinny dipping in the lagoon?

Ginger: No, thanks, Skipper. You know we prefer to do our skinny dipping on the beach that no one else has gone to since we got shipwrecked!

Professor: Well, I think I've figured out a 78th way to recharge the batteries that just might work this time!

Professor: "Ginger, I don't care how many times you shove your cleavage in my face, I'm not balancing your checkbook."

Ginger: Who, besides Mr. Howell, needs money here anyway?

Thurston doesn't ring a bell. Who is that?
The episode with the theif is my favorite.

Mary Ann: Well, if Gilligan doesn't love that native chief's daughter, no way should he marry her even if it means we stay stuck on this island!

Thurston doesn't ring a bell. Who is that?
The episode with the theif is my favorite.

Thurston Howell

Mrs. Howell: Professor, why did you go on a three-hour tour? Was it so you could get away from your stick-in-the-mud colleagues?

Professor: "Now listen everyone. I've made a careful study of the tides and how the water currents flow back to Hawaii along with the buoyancy of the raft and my purely scientific conclusion is we're up ****'s ****ing creek."

Skipper: Professor, how is it you've been able to construct huts, pedicabs, furniture and toys out of coconuts and bamboo but you can't fix our boat?

Ginger: Skipper, I just love a blubbery man in a uniform. Wanna make out?

Skipper: I'm WAY too sexy for a wallflower like Ginger!

Mary Ann: Is everybody gettin' some except me?

Mary Ann: Is everybody gettin' some except me?

Gilligan: Getting some what?

Mary Ann: Professor, perhaps you should have the birds & the bees chat with Gilligan.

Mary Ann: Professor, perhaps you should have the birds & the bees chat with Gilligan.

Professor: I'd leave one that to Ginger but that would guarantee Gilligan fainting!

Ginger: You couldn't pay me to give Gilligan a class in the birds and the bees. He's too dopey.

The professor is a fool, he probably needs help from the elderly woman.

Skipper: Ginger, can I touch your coconuts? (wink, wink)

Ginger: Skipper, keep your paws to yourself or I'll smash your filberts!

Skipper: I'm shipwrecked with two gorgeous women, but I can't even touch them. Damn!

Mr. Howell: That's why you should have gotten married before we got shipwrecked like I did!

Mrs. Howell: Thurston, you've got the bucks, but Skipper's got the build. Treat me right or I'll stray.

Mrs. Howell: Thurston, you've got the bucks, but Skipper's got the build. Treat me right or I'll stray.

Professor: I don't have either of those things so it looks like I missed out again, darn it!

Ginger: Well, Professor, if you spruced up your wardrobe a bit and stopped wearing white every single day, it might help.

Professor: Ginger, why would it help if I just dusted off the top of my wardrobe and stopped wearing clothes?

Ginger: Professor, I was trying to help you look more desirable but hey, if you don't want suggestions just say so.

Mary Ann: "Hey professor, why don't you whip us up some ice so we can get a three on three hockey game going here? Mrs. Howell can ref."

Ginger: Mary Ann, could you teach me how to bake pies so I can help you out?

Gilligan: "Hey, maybe next time Vito Scotti guest stars on the show he can bake us a super big cake like he did in The Godfather."

Mary Ann: Holy cow, Ginger, did you just let one rip?

Ginger: It's only a bra strap and I'll sew it up in no time so don't have a cow, Mary Ann!

^
^

:)

Lovey: Thurston, you make me so mad sometimes that I wish a headhunter would put your head on a stick!

Lovey: Thurston, you make me so mad sometimes that I wish a headhunter would put your head on a stick!

Thurston: I'd NEVER let my head be impaled by the local bamboo or palm. We Howells insist on nothing less than mahogany!

:lol: ^

Thurston: Stick it in your ear, Lovey! With my billions, I could buy any woman I want! :cool:

:lol: ^

Thurston: Stick it in your ear, Lovey! With my billions, I could buy any woman I want! :cool:

Lovey: Your billions can't buy you a leak-proof boat, Ginger and Mary Ann only like single men so you're stuck with ME!

Thurston: Well, if the Professor weren't so stupid, maybe we'd have a leak-proof boat!

Lovey: Thurston, if you were so smart, you'd have flown a drone over Oahu and the surrounding waters for us to stream on YouTube instead of insisting we had to take that three-hour boat tour!

Ginger: "Mary Ann, are you going to bake a coconut cream pie today?"

Mary Anne: " I thought you were on a diet?"

Ginger: "I am. I need a lubricant."

Ginger: "Mary Ann, are you going to bake a coconut cream pie today?"

Mary Anne: " I thought you were on a diet?"

Ginger: "I am. I need a lubricant."

Mary Ann- What for? I haven't heard your Welcome Wagon squeak in a week!

I'm bad.

You're worse.

:lol:

Skipper: Mary Ann, enough with the banana and coconut. Can't we ever have boysenberry or peach pie?

Mary Ann- Darn it. I was going to make a cranberry pie, tonight!

Lovey: If Santa Claus could find us to give us cheer, why didn't he just take us OFF the Island in his sleigh?

Mrs. Howell: "Thurston, how do you come to Tour d'Argent and order a Big Mac and fries!?

Thurston: What better place to have French fries than in Paris? As for the Big Mac? It makes as much sense in Paris as anything that's happened on this Island!

Gilligan: Mr. Howell, is your teddy bear's name really Teddy? So original. NOT.

Gilligan: "Hey, maybe next time Vito Scotti guest stars on the show he can bake us a super big cake like he did in The Godfather."

LOL:)

Gilligan, to Mary Ann: "Can I eat your pie?"

Mary Ann- Skipper ,you already had two slices of coconut creme pie, so shut your own pie hole!

Skipper: I wonder if Mary Ann would have my baby? I've always wanted a son.

Mary Ann: The way you already screwed up Gilligan? FAT CHANCE!

Ginger: If any of the dumb men get me off this island, I'll have his baby! Let's go!

Mary Ann- Ginger, you can forget about me changing any diapers while we're stuck on this island so you'd better hold off and hold out until after we're actually back on the Mainland!

Mr. Howell: If Ginger has my baby on the island, I'll pay Mary Ann a million dollars to be our nanny.

Mrs. Howell- And I'll take $2 million in alimony per month if you step out on me- even here!

Mr. Howell: Oh, Lovey. I was just dreaming. I would never cheat on you, Darling. Ginger isn't even all that pretty. (cries into his teddy bear)

Mrs. Howell- Teddy has ALL the luck here!

Teddy: You people are sick.

The Professor: A talking teddy bear sure fits in with everything else that's gone on on this island!

Skipper: Professor, if you're starting to hear talking teddy bears I'm not sure if we can depend on you to rescue us anymore. We'll be here forever!

Professor: Skipper, don't raise your voice in front of the bear! You'll make him pout.

Skipper: Yikes, Professor. You've been out in the sun too long. You need a long nap.

Professor: Excellent idea! I'll have Ginger sing me a lullaby while Mary Ann massages my feet and then afterwards, all three of us will have pleasant dreams!

Mary Ann: Sorry, Professor, but I wouldn't touch your smelly feet with a ten-foot fishing pole.

Professor: I'll wash them in peppermint soap beforehand AND put a clothes pin on your nose , Mary Ann. Otherwise, it looks as though I'll have to make do with Ginger. .. and Teddy.

Teddy: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Mr. Howell: Lovey, I just heard something stuffed call out for. .. the Ark builder in spite of no 40 day flood here in recent times!

^^^^^
:lol:

Teddy: Howell, I may be stuffed, but you're a stuffed shirt. I wish I belonged to the tender Gilligan.

Gilligan:Skipper, do you think that it's possible that there's someone bearable out there crushing on me?

Skipper: Gilligan, you're just so handsome and sweet. You'd be a real catch for anyone!

Gilligan: I'm sick of all you people. I'm going to drown myself in the lagoon.

Gilligan: I'm sick of all you people. I'm going to drown myself in the lagoon.

Professor: Don't even think about it, Gilligan! You never can do ANYthing right! You'd manage to somehow survive while screwing up our fish supply!

Professor: Hey everybody, I just developed a substance to repair the holes in the Minnow!

Gilligan: I can't even drown myself correctly. Man, I suck.

Gilligan: I can't even drown myself correctly. Man, I suck.

Mary Ann: Don't be so hard on yourself. We need you! What other name could we call the Island?

Gilligan: Well, I am now officially in love with Mary Ann. Her lips look tastier than the berries she puts in her pies.

Gilligan: Well, I am now officially in love with Mary Ann. Her lips look tastier than the berries she puts in her pies.

Professor: That's the first time I've ever heard of anyone considering coconuts as a kind of berry!

Skipper: Speaking of coconuts, have you seen Ginger?

Skipper: Speaking of coconuts, have you seen Ginger?

Gilligan: What does Ginger have to do with coconuts, Skipper? Mary Ann's the one who uses them to bake the pies!

Gilligan: What does Ginger have to do with coconuts, Skipper? Mary Ann's the one who uses them to bake the pies!

Skipper: I keep forgetting you haven't hit puberty yet, Gilligan. Forget it for now. :D

Skipper: I keep forgetting you haven't hit puberty yet, Gilligan. Forget it for now. :D

Gilligan: I don't know who this Pugh Berty is you're talking about and I haven't ever seen him on the Island but I DID hit Skinny Mulligan once so that counts. Right?

Skipper: (to the audience) This sailor boy is so stupid.

Skipper: (to the audience) This sailor boy is so stupid.

Gilligan:Really?Then why haven't you asked these invisible folks you keep talking to rescue us?

Skipper: Gilligan, stuff a sock in it before I push you off a cliff. (winks at audience)

Ginger: Guess what everyone ! I think I'm gunna have a baby from that time I went swimming on the other side of the island with the hunter guy Jonathan Kincaid !!

Ginger: Guess what everyone ! I think I'm gunna have a baby from that time I went swimming on the other side of the island with the hunter guy Jonathan Kincaid !!

Gilligan: Ginger,why didn't you just e-mail your baby order to Amazon instead of bugging a stork for one when swimming over there?

Professor: If you have Jonathan Kincaid's kid, he'll probably grow up to be a psychopathic maniac and kill all of us. At least we may finally get off this island.

Professor: If you have Jonathan Kincaid's kid, he'll probably grow up to be a psychopathic maniac and kill all of us. At least we may finally get off this island.

Ginger: I only swam with Jonathan Kincaid but, while he busied himself trying to attack sharks, I busied myself with his guide Ramoo. At least our kid won't get sunburned as easily as the rest of us!

:lol:

Gilligan: Mary Ann can be Baby Ramoo's wet nurse and I'll be his Godfather. Skipper, what is a wet nurse exactly?

Gilligan: Mary Ann can be Baby Ramoo's wet nurse and I'll be his Godfather. Skipper, what is a wet nurse exactly?

Skipper: Well, it means Mary Ann will feed the baby but NOT by taking him under the waterfall. Got it?

Gilligan: I don't get it, Skipper. Not even a little bit.

Gilligan: I don't get it, Skipper. Not even a little bit.

Ginger: Oh,Gilligan, just go seek out and hit that Mr. Pugh Berty for all our sakes!

Gilligan: Sometimes I wish I could prance around the island catching butterflies. That guy had fun.

Gilligan: Sometimes I wish I could prance around the island catching butterflies. That guy had fun.

Ginger: How I love hearing your macho, alpha-male yearnings!

Ginger: How I love hearing your macho, alpha-male yearnings!

Gilligan: Was that a dig, Ginger? :lol:

Gilligan: Was that a dig, Ginger? :lol:

Ginger: Oh, yeah. Dig it, Maynard. .er Gilligan?

Gilligan: What kind of sissy name is Maynard?

Gilligan: What kind of sissy name is Maynard?

Ginger: Well, that is a friend of Dorothy... er Dobie.

Gilligan: What kind of a name is Dobie? Gilligan is better.

Gilligan: What kind of a name is Dobie? Gilligan is better.

Ginger: Ah, but my name can be spicy, sweet AND an excellent cure for nausea!:lol:

Skipper: I'm feeling a bit queasy, Ginger. You're a cure for that right?

Skipper: I'm feeling a bit queasy, Ginger. You're a cure for that right?

Ginger: True! I'll be happy to lend you some of my leftover Tums!:lol:

Skipper: The word I want to call you right now is not nice so I'll just go back to my hut.

Skipper: The word I want to call you right now is not nice so I'll just go back to my hut.

Ginger: Oh, Mary Ann THOUGHT a worse term for me- and it looks like I cured your nausea anyway! :lol:

Skipper: Women! You can't live with 'em and you can't drown 'em in the lagoon!

Skipper: Women! You can't live with 'em and you can't drown 'em in the lagoon!

Mary Ann: No coconut creme pie for you tonight, Skipper!

Mary Ann: No coconut creme pie for you tonight, Skipper!

Skipper: Women are so touchy too. :p

Skipper: Women are so touchy too. :p

Ginger: And you'd better keep looking instead of attempting to touch! I thought you were heading for your hut!

Skipper: Fine, you win, Ginger. Women always have to have the last word too.

Skipper: Fine, you win, Ginger. Women always have to have the last word too.

Ginger [grins and silently nods while winking to the camera];)

Professor mumbling to himself: Why does the Skipper get to wink to the audience but I never get to?

Professor mumbling to himself: Why does the Skipper get to wink to the audience but I never get to?

Mary Ann- Because he's the comic relief while you're the straight man, Professor!

Professor: Is that why I'm always wearing a starched white shirt?

Professor: Is that why I'm always wearing a starched white shirt?

Mary Ann- What else could you wear that wouldn't show your coconut creme pie stains?

Mary Ann- What else could you wear that wouldn't show your coconut creme pie stains?

:crazy:

Professor: Mary Ann! Are you insinuating that I'm sloppy!? :mad:

:crazy:

Professor: Mary Ann! Are you insinuating that I'm sloppy!? :mad:

Mary Ann: Professor, I'd NEVER do that! I spelled it out to you! So chill out or else you can wash your OWN shirts from now on! :lol:

Professor: I'll be good, I promise.

Professor: I'll be good, I promise.

Ginger: When I'm good, I'm very good but when I'm bad, I'm better! ;)

Ginger: When I'm good, I'm very good but when I'm bad, I'm better! ;)

Professor: Ginger, shhh, or I'll stain my pants. :D

Professor: Ginger, shhh, or I'll stain my pants. :D

Ginger: How? I'm not going to spill any paint on 'em!:lol:

Professor (blushing) : Nevermind, here comes Gilligan.

Professor (blushing) : Nevermind, here comes Gilligan.

Gilligan: You rang, Professor? I was getting ready to paint a basketball [ stumbling into the scene while spilling a bucket of orange paint onto the Professor]

Gilligan: Eek! Oh, I'm sorry Professor. That orange paint is not going to cover up that huge stain that you've got there.

Gilligan: Eek! Oh, I'm sorry Professor. That orange paint is not going to cover up that huge stain that you've got there.

Mary Ann- I don't know what you've got on there and I don't CARE but from now on, you can wash your own pants, Professor. Meantime, here's a native' leftover grass skirt you can wear 'til they're clean! [hands the Professor a grass skirt and pushes him to behind a screen to change]

Professor: Mama told me there'd be days like this. But me wearing a grass skirt! My mama would be horrified.

Professor: Mama told me there'd be days like this. But me wearing a grass skirt! My mama would be horrified.

[at that moment somewhere on the Mainland. ...]
Mrs. Hinkley: I don't know where Roy is or what he's doing but wherever he may be, I've been horrified every since I bore a bore who bore no resemblance to his trapeze artist real father! :rolleyes:

[somewhere on the Mainland....]
Mrs. Hinkley: But wherever my Roy is, I hope he has a sweet young woman who can do his laundry. He never did figure out how to starch his own shirts.

Professor: I wonder why I suddenly feel the need to starch myself up AND do a cartwheel on a high wire!

Skipper: Professor, are you feeling okay? You seem to be talking to yourself a lot lately.

Skipper: Professor, are you feeling okay? You seem to be talking to yourself a lot lately.

Professor: Skipper, I'm fine and what other smart folks are there to talk to on this Island?

Skipper: I guess that is true. I'm sorry I'm not an intellectual like you are, Sir.

Skipper: I guess that is true. I'm sorry I'm not an intellectual like you are, Sir.

Professor: I never imagined big lug like you could be such a hypersensitive crybaby!

Skipper: WELL, I NEVER! (runs off pouting)

Skipper: WELL, I NEVER! (runs off pouting)

Ginger: And at this rate, you never WILL!:lol:

Skipper (openly weeping) : Ginger, I thought you'd eventually do it with me!

Skipper (openly weeping) : Ginger, I thought you'd eventually do it with me!

Gilligan: Do what with you? Sing sea shanties?

Ginger: Gilligan, it's time Skipper had the birds and the bees talk with you.

Ginger: Gilligan, it's time Skipper had the birds and the bees talk with you.

Skipper: Please sing some sea shanties with me instead of putting me through that again! It's like trying to teach a rock to fetch a newspaper!

Ginger:
My Bonnie is over the ocean
My Bonnie is over the sea
My Bonnie is over the ocean
Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me

Ginger:
My Bonnie is over the ocean
My Bonnie is over the sea
My Bonnie is over the ocean
Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me

Skipper: Yo ho, Ginger! Blow this man down! :D

Ginger: Pucker up, guys!

Ginger: Pucker up, guys!

Skipper: I NEVER thought Ginger would have squeezed lemon juice into our mouths when our eyes were closed waiting for her kisses!

Professor: Where did Ginger FIND lemons anyway?

Skipper: Professor, where did Ginger find lemons? Heck, where did the Howells find all those matching outfits?

Skipper: Professor, where did Ginger find lemons? Heck, where did the Howells find all those matching outfits?

Skipper: You're one to talk Mr. ' I can build any furniture we need with palm fronds and bamboo but I can't figure out how to patch a hole in a boat'!

Mrs. Howell: Oh, phooey, you two. I was out walking on the beach one night when 10 crates of clothing washed ashore. Just because nobody else saw it doesn't mean it didn't happen. Now, shoo.

Mrs. Howell: Oh, phooey, you two. I was out walking on the beach one night when 10 crates of clothing washed ashore. Just because nobody else saw it doesn't mean it didn't happen. Now, shoo.

Skipper: Speaking of which, did those crates contain any size 12 Keds? I could use a new pair to replace my very worn pair!

Skipper: Speaking of which, did those crates contain any size 12 Keds? I could use a new pair to replace my very worn pair!

Really, Skipper! The Howells do not share with peasants. Sorry not sorry.

Really, Skipper! The Howells do not share with peasants. Sorry not sorry.

Skipper: Those shoes would be too big for either you or Mr. Howell so what could you possibly use them for?

Mrs. Howell: They make the most fashionable planters!

Skipper: Mrs. Howell? You really stink, you know that?

Skipper: Mrs. Howell? You really stink, you know that?

Mrs. Howell: Really, Skipper?! You spend your days tending to fish nets and latrines while I wear the most expensive, finest scents! Talk about cesspool calling orchid!

Mrs. Howell: Really, Skipper?! You spend your days tending to fish nets and latrines while I wear the most expensive, finest scents! Talk about cesspool calling orchid!

Skipper: Lady, I meant your attitude stinks. But you're too hoity-toity to understand common language. Go drown in the lagoon! :mad:

Skipper: Lady, I meant your attitude stinks. But you're too hoity-toity to understand common language. Go drown in the lagoon! :mad:

Mrs. Howell: I think I've been insulted. Thurston, challenge him to a duel at once!

Mrs. Howell: I think I've been insulted. Thurston, challenge him to a duel at once!

Mr. Howell: (hiding under the bed with Teddy) I can't hear you, Lovey.

Mr. Howell: (hiding under the bed with Teddy) I can't hear you, Lovey.

Teddy: Get off of me so I can maul the Skipper to save your family's honor!

Thurston: That's odd. I heard something muffled from something stuffed- again!

Lovey: Thurston, Dear, you're hearing muffled voices again? You'd better go see the Professor again. Maybe he can figure out your issue.

Lovey: Thurston, Dear, you're hearing muffled voices again? You'd better go see the Professor again. Maybe he can figure out your issue.

Professor: Mr. Howell it's obviously your eating those mind reading seeds again. Please Stop eating them.

Professor: Mr. Howell it's obviously your eating those mind reading seeds again. Please Stop eating them.

Teddy: Professor, if Mr. Howell could read my mind right now, it would shock the crimson right off his Harvard varsity sweat shirt! Now are you going to beat up the Skipper for trash talking Mrs. Howell or will *I* have to do it since Mr. Howell makes Gilligan look as brave as my distant cousin Smokey!

Mary Ann: Oh, can't we all just get along like we used to? (sobs)

Mary Ann: Oh, can't we all just get along like we used to? (sobs)

Teddy: If you have me over at your hut, I'll do my best to console you while the Professor beats up the Skipper!

Teddy: If you have me over at your hut, I'll do my best to console you while the Professor beats up the Skipper!

Mary Ann: It's a deal, Teddy! I love hairy men!

Mr. Howell: "Hey Professor, you think you can invent something useful for a change like X-Ray binoculars so I can peer into the girls' hut?"

Ginger: Mr. Howell, a peeping Tom? Or is that a peeping Thurston?