List alphabetically ways to lose your job.

A... ALLOW your friends to come to your work place and have their band practice.

B

B- Bring beer to work and drink it!

Copy the boss's weird voice - not knowing hes standing right behind you.

D

Dance around the office while the phones are ringing off the hook!

embarrass your boss big time in front of his boss

Frowning too much at a job where you are supposed to be smiling and bubbly ! Such as a receptionist ,cashier or waitress!

Get caught having sex with the boss's wife. Just me?

Having a meltdown when the customer is trying to convince you that they're right even when they clearly aren't and your boss agreeing with them because he believes the customer is always right. :rolleyes:

Inappropriate comments, looks or touching of a coworker of the opposite sex!

Joke about how your boss is driving the company into the ground at the water cooler and within earshot of your boss's office.

K

Killing annoying customers

L

Looking at porn on a work computer

M

Make everyone think the boss gave YOU a huge raise and not them so by the time he comes in they are all mad @ shouting @ him.....Start laughing and tell him the news;ask for a raise :D

N

Not show up without even calling in sick!

O = Obnoxious behavior toward your company's most important client

P

Peeing too much!!! LOL!!! What I mean is TOO MANY trips to the rest room, making it obvious that "nature hasn't called" or that you DON'T have a stomach bug, kidney problem or other illness! But that you are sneaking a smoke, drink or drugs!!!:confused:

The reason I post this is because I REALLY worked with a person like this before! The supervisor caught on pretty quickly (well we ALL did, it was kinda obvious) ,and they were let go! :wave:

Quit

Rummaging through your co workers and boss's desks while they are on break or in the rest room!

Stealing

uttering threats against your boss, co-workers, or customers!

Vicious gossip about the CEO that gets traced back to YOU

Walk out

XXX rated wallpaper on your work computer for all to see

You guys missed a letter!!!! -- Thats why its good to put the next letter underneath!!! (Ah man!!)

Anyway......


Yelling @ your boss,telling him he is no good... Swearing @ him,etc.........

Z

Zero work performance

A

Absences - Calling in sick too much!


B ?

Being late to work all the time and then one day when your boss is late,start cutting him down,etc until he explodes......

C

Caught sleeping on the job (which in my job a VERY bad idea)

D

D- Drunk, showing up to work drunk or drinking on job!

E

Emailing porn to a colleague.

Fooling around with the bosses wife/husband

G

Giving your boss a hard time by calling him @ 3am and demanding equal rights;pay @ the office..... Keep calling back,carry on :D

H

Hollering at important clients

Insubordination.

Jettisoning your boss's favorite chair out the window!

Keying the boss's car.

L

Lazy work ethic resulting in many missed deadlines.

Making frequent large mistakes.

N

Never show up for work on time

Oppose all company rules.


P

P- Partying too much at night and showing up at work the next day too hung over to perform your duties well!!


Q

Q-Quit, or threaten to quit

Risque behavior during an office party

Starting false rumors about your coworkers

T

Undermining the bosses authority

Undermining the bosses authority


T was skipped,but that's OK .I'll do T! ;)


T- Talking to your coworkers too much about personal stuff and not getting work done!


Next Letter is V!!

Viciously gossiping about your boss and he/she finds out you're the source.

Wrecking expensive equipment.


X

XXX Porn as your computer's wallpaper

Yodeling continuously throughout the day.

Z

Zero accuracy on all your work

Arriving mid-shift 2 to 3 times a week.

Botching up your work all the time

C

Yodeling continuously throughout the day.

Z


:lol: :D That would be funny! :wave:


C-Counting the hours till your shift is over! Like watching the clock and not really doing your work! Making it obvious you are just there to earn a paycheck!


D

Dumb mistakes ALL the time.

Enraging co-workers against each other.

Fraudulent expense report submissions

Grumbling under your breath about duties the boss asks you to perform!


H

Hurting the company's bottom line with many bad decisions/mistakes.

I

Indecent exposure! Wearing very provocative clothing in a conservative work place!


J

Jumping up and down like a f00l when you accidently read a letter your boss sent to ANOTHER EMPLOYEE saying they were fired and then going in and cutitng him down big time w/o realising the letter wasnt meant for you :D

K

Kicking your boss or one of your coworkers up the ass

L

Laughing hysterically at your boss daily.


M

Making your boss feel like an idiot WHEN HIS BOSS COMES and ends up giving YOU a raise (3x as much as your boss)... Start laughing @ your boss after HIS BOSS leaves.....

N

Not meeting several important deadlines.


O

Peeing regularly in your chair and co-workers chairs. lol I think that
would send you out the door!

Questioning authority frequently (insubordination)

R

Reading your boss's emails

Regurally showing up 1/2 late for work and then when your boss is late one day yell @ him and call him names,etc........

S

Stealing from petty cash

T

T- Too much time spent up and around away from your desk, avoiding work that was supposed to be done and not on hand to answer the ringing phones in a timely manner!


U

Using office supplies and equipment for personal use.

Vulgar language and demeanor ALL the time

Wrestling co-workers.

X Rated behavior in the workplace!

Yelling and treating other colleagues disscourteously all the time.

Z

Z- Zoning out / not paying attention to your job and making mistakes.

A= absenteeism that becomes excessive

B- Boozing it up - Drinking on the job

C=Cheating on an expense account or time card

D=Driving through your office window.

Emailing pornography to a colleague

****ing your boss's wife.

Grotesque behavior in front of the company's most important client

H=Harassing someone sexually.

I- Ignoring your boss or Supervisor when they are giving you new instructions or reprimanding you!

****ing your boss's wife.

Walter, please don't self-edit and expletives. Just type it as is and let the board filter do it's job.

Thank you.

J- Job performance. Not preforming your job duties well!

K - Kicking the trash over in your boss's office and then lying to him saying a co-worker did it and then start laughing like a 2yo;carry on :D

L

Lying on your resume

M- Making fun of your boss

N=NOT meeting deadlines.

O- Objecting to workplace rules/policies

Picking up the garbage and dumping it all in your boss's office and then calling him @ 2am laughing;asking if you can have a raise,let him in on the secret that it was YOU who trashed his office :D

Q

Q- Quit doing your assigned work duties properly.

R - Refusing a boss's order without a good reason.

S-Smoking in the workplace

Telling lies to everyone that the boss gave you a major raise and say he favours you,etc......... When he comes in,tell him the news and then demand even more :D

U

Utilizing company Internet to watch porn.

V- Verbal abuse to your boss or coworkers

W = Working too slowly

Making XTREME noise in your cube and then laughing/cutting the boss down when he says something about it.......

Y

Y- Yelling at your boss

Z = zero productivity

Asking someone if you can copy all thier stuff so the boss doesnt know you didnt do squat today,then laughing when the boss notices its the same as thiers! (Oops ya made a blunder!! -- AH MAN!!)

B

B- Barely coming to work , meaning calling in sick a lot !

Calling in a lot even if you are not sick and have other excuses

Daydreaming.

E- Eating at your desk if it isn't permitted !!

Failing to complete your work

Go to the movies instead.

Have a nap

Instigating fights with the boss or coworkers

Joking around too much

Knock out the boss

Lay on the bosses office table and knock everyothing off it while drinking beer and laughing;carry on like a 2yo :D

M

Making up excuses

Noise into your bosses private life and then spread it thru the office;laugh and ask for a hefty raise :D

O

Offer to ask how much you are getting paid

Post negative things about your boss and coworkers on Face Book.

Quarreling with your boss all the time

Rule breaking

Smoking in non designated places !

Tip off the other employees about your bosses embezzelment schemes

U

Untidy appearance in a job that requires you look real clean cut and presentable !

Visiting other employees when you're supposed to be working

Whining to your boss calling him @ a 2am denmanding a raise and equal rights.... Keep carrying on......

X

Skip X

Yawning constantly at a work meeting !

Zoning out

Argiung too much

Bringing your pet to work

C- Calling in sick too much

D = Drinking excessively during work hours

E- Excessive personal phone calls while at work

F = Failing to turn your work in on time

G = Gambling with Company funds

H - Hollering at our Boss, in front of everyone!

I = Incompetence

Jamming nails into the copy machine

Kleptomaniac behavior with office property

Lugging office chairs out the door and into your own truck

M- Making obscene phone calls on the office phones!

N - Nagging your boss until he fires you (LOL)

O = Often calling in sick

P- Picking fights with Co workers

Q = Quarreling frequently with clients and colleagues.

R - Ruining Expensive equipment.

S- Staring out the window daydreaming and letting phones ring and desk work go undone !

T - Talking on your phone when you should be working

U = Under-Performing

V- Vandalizing the work place

W-Walking out of the office during working hours

X- Xanax - Taking too many while working and zoning out or falling asleep at your desk/ work station

Yelling at clients

Zero work output

A- Assaulting a coworker or worse yet , your boss !

B = Being late or absent a lot.

C = Crying uncontrollably during meetings with no reason

D- Dating your coworkers if there is a no dating policy

Error rate of work is too high.

F- Falling asleep at your desk or work station

G = Goofing off for extended periods of time

H - Hitting your boss

Insubordination

J- Job Hunting - Being on employment websites looking and /or sending out resumes to find another job while you are at your desk supposed to be working!

K = Kvetching non-stop about the company and how much you hate your job: TO YOUR BOSS!

L = Laziness

Mauling a co-worker

Nagging someone about how much you’ll get paid

O- Ordering your Co workers around and you aren't their supervisor !

P - Put stuff out that shouldn't be seen on social media

Q = Quarreling frequently with most of your co-workers

R- Rummaging around in your coworkers desks or work space or worse yet your bosses desk !

S - Sleeping when you're really supposed to be working

Talking on the phone when you should be doing work instead

Underperforming

V = Violently throw things at your boss

W = whining constantly

X - Taking too much time comparing your present job to your X ( former) job and trying to change things around to be like that one.

Y = Yelling at your boss

Z - ZZZZZ at your desk

A = Absconding with company property.

B = Bullying customers

Carrying on too many conversations with Co workers / distracting them from their duties !

D = Destroying Company property

Eating loudly at your desk when it isn't even lunch or your break

Failing to dress when you should be following the dress code

Groping someone (sexual harassment)

Having meltdowns a lot

Idiotic mistakes galore will likely show you to the door!

Joking around when you're supposed to be working

Keeping booze and drugs at your desk

Late for work

Manipulating work reports (falsifying them)

Not showing up on time

Operating heavy machinery in your workplace while drunk

Putting off what you're supposed to be doing and do something else instead

Questioning your bosses orders constantly

Ripping up important reports you are supposed to turn in

S- Shouting obscenities at your workplace !

Talking too loudly so that others can't concentrate on their own work

U- Untidy appearance in a job that requires you to look very well dressed and well groomed !

V = Vandalizing Company property

W - Wailing and pounding your desk out of frustration or anger

X = Xeroxing and handing out trade secrets

Y = Yelling at people such as your boss, managers, and co-workers

Z = Zero productivity

A = Ask HR how much you get paid for unused vacation days

Bellow at customers

Complain loudly

Doctor your expense account

E- Express too much emotion or anger over situations that really aren't that bad!

F - Failing a drug test

Groping a co-worker

Harassing someone

Insubordination

Joking off way too much

Killing time and getting caught

Lying to your boss

Malfesance

Not doing what you're supposed to do.

Overstepping your budget by a lot

Post on social media when you're really supposed to be working

Quitting!

Resting on the job!

Sleeping on the job!

Telling a lot of lies

Underperforming

V - Vacate your desk during a rush period

W - Wander away from the job site and go somewhere else

X-rated screensaver for all to see

Yelling at your boss

Zero productivity

Assaulting coworkers or your boss

Being irresponsible

Cheating on your expense and time reports

Drinking too much

Evacuating your desk too early

False Reports.

Goofing off

Hallucinate on drugs at work

Imbibe booze or inject dope

Joke around about things that you aren't supposed to be talking about

Kvetching obnoxiously in front of clients

Late for work

Mess up an important project

Not doing the work assigned to you!

Obnoxious attitude to your boss & co-workers

Pestering people