My Fake Channel's Fake Thomas Haden Church Marathon

[Adamantium]

Over on the General Boards, I have "TV Adam's Channel". Anyways, since some of you may not visit there that often, I thought I'd bring my fake marathon post over here.

The Thomas Haden Church - A - Thon

Hosted by Thomas Haden Church.

Debra Messing (Stacey Colbert) and David Schramm (Roy Biggins) make brief cameos during the intro scenes.

Thomas Haden Church: Hello to all 6 of you watching TV Adam's Channel. I'm Thomas Haden Church. For five and a half seasons I played the dumb, loveable mechanic Lowell Mather on "Wings". Then I gave that up to play the smart, pompous Ned Dorsey on "Ned & Stacey". Tonight I want you all to sit back, relax and watch as both Lowell and Ned join forces to make you laugh. In this, Thomas Haden Church - A - Thon.

**
These intros to the commercials get played during almost every commercial break in the marathon.
**
Thomas Haden Church: I'm still Thomas Haden Church and you're still watching my marathon. Now we're heading for a rough patch of cheesy, crappy commercials. I'm told these are unavoidable. But stay right where you are, and they will be over soon.

Thomas Haden Church: It's me again. You survived the commercials and now back to the show.

**
**
Thomas Haden Church: Hey, I'm Thomas Haden Church and this is my "Ned & Stacey" co-star, Debra Messing.

Debra Messing: Hi everybody.

Thomas Haden Church: Sadly, "Ned and Stacey" was Debra's only near-popular show.

Debra Messing: Um, actually I star in "Will & Grace". It's on NBC and doing quite well.

Thomas Haden Church: Hmm ... "Will & Grace"? Doesn't ring a bell. (to the viewers) Obviously poor Debra's gone crazy after the cancellation of our fine show. Oh well, at least she still has her looks.

**
**
Thomas Haden Church: I don't know about you, but I'm really enjoying this marathon. And so is David Schramm. You know, Roy from "Wings".

David Schramm: Yes, of course I'm enjoying this marathon. I love to look back at myself throughout my years on "Wings".

Thomas Haden Church: (Angry) You love to look back at YOURSELF! You should be looking back at me. Afterall, it's a Thomas Haden Church - a - thon. Not a David Schramm - a - thon. (to the viewers) I hate people who only think of themselves.

**
**

8:00pm Wings
058. Mathers of the Heart: Lowell decides to ask Helen out on a date. Once they go, she ends up liking him, while Lowell finds her boring.

8:30pm Wings
061. It's So Nice to Have a Mather Around the House: After Brian accidentally sinks Lowell's boat-house, Lowell moves in with Joe and Brian and plays housekeeper.

9:00pm Ned & Stacey
01. Ned & Stacey: In order for Ned to get a promotion and for Stacey to get a life, they decide to get "married".

9:30pm Ned & Stacey
02. Portrait of a Marriage: Ned and Stacey have their firstcorporate party. However, Stacey is upset by the past Ned has written for her.

10:00pm Wings
072. Goodbye, Old Friend: After a long time friend of Lowell's dies, he tries to write the eulogy for his funeral.

10:30pm Wings
075. Bye, Bye, Bunny: Lowell officially divorces Bunny. Afterwards the couple begin to act like newlyweds.

11:00pm Ned & Stacey
024. The End?: Ned and Stacey decide to set eachother up on dates. When Stacey falls in love with her date, it results in Ned throwing her out of the apartment.

11:30pm Ned & Stacey
025. The Other End: With Ned and Stacey now living apart, Ned's work begins to suffer. Meanwile, Stacey moves in with her boyfriend.

12:00am Wings
125. The Person Formerlly Known as Lowell: After Lowell sees a man murdered at a restaurant, he decides to leave Nantucket and join the Witness Protection Program.

12:30am Ned & Stacey
46. Best of Luck on Future Projects: Ned's life has turned upside down and he finds himself moving to Texas. But before he goes, Ned pays Stacey a final visit to tell her he loves her.

Rest of the night is the regular schedule.
1:00am ALF
1:30am Perfect Strangers
2:00am Boy Meets World
2:30am Step by Step
3:00am NewsRadio
3:30am Wings
4:00am Ellen
4:30am Two Guys and a Girl
5:00am Ned & Stacey
5:30am Taxi

For more on my (Fake) channel, go to the General Sitcoms and discussion board.

[Krista2882]

hehehehe you're awesome

[AngeFaitore]

...and then let's not forget the oh-so-imfamous Ange Faitore meets Thomas Haden Church scene.

Thomas: And now... the winner of the Thomas Haden Church-a-thon contest, Ange Faitore!

Ange: You mean that I won... and you're not offended with me?

Thomas: No, Ange. You sure seem to have a helluva lot of anxiety attacks...

Ange: Well, that's a relief. You know, I've had a bad history within the fandom.

Thomas: Oh yeah. Plus, didn't you send me some of your fan fiction?
(Thomas looks to the cameras with desperation)

Ange: No, I sent you fan art.

Thomas: Oh, that's a relief, because I sure don't want to read about what you wish you could do to me...

Ange: By the way, I've been meaning to burn my cache of 5-subject notebooks...

Thomas: Don't tell me that you think that will solve everything.

Ange: Hey, at least it gets rid of my remorse.

Thomas: I find that athority always wins.

Ange: True. I'm sure you'll find all my Churchshipping stuff and hand me over to the FBI.

Thomas: Ange... Ange.... you're normal. You've got the personality of a 14-year-old obsessed Professor Snape fan. You're harmless.

Ange: Oh thank God. So, want to go play Dance Dance Revolution?

Thomas: (looks around the room) Um, sure, as long as you don't turn this into Misery.

Ange: Thomas, are you okay?

Thomas: Yeah. Um, sure.

(Thomas suddenly bolts off the set)