TJL Ends Relationship With Bennifer Jokes - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

TJL · 01-24-2004, 10:16 PM

More made up crap from the Sitcoms Online Press:

The Sitcoms Online community was once again thrown for a loop with today’s announcement that Senior Member and snappy dresser TJL has ended his relationship with any jokes related to Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez.
“It’s over,” a teary eyed TJL announced in a surprise press conference from his posh Manhattan abode. “After many hours of hard thought, careful deliberation and a little afternoon nap, I have decided to end my long and fruitful association with any jokes regarding Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, or as they were more commonly known; Bennifer.”
For nearly a year TJL gleefully hurled pun filled jibes, witty barbs, and verbal groin kicks at Bennifer; culminating last Summer with the release of the Hollywood supercouple’s uberbomb “Gigli.” “TJL was so happy back then,” Sitcoms Online Moderator Janice noted. “He told me the jokes practically wrote themselves. Which is good since TJL has trouble holding a pen because the years of alcohol abuse has made him as shaky as Ozzy Osbourne on a cold winter morning.”
Sadly the relationship had grown strained over the past few months when lack of news and gossip regarding Ben and Jen made it hard for TJL to make fun of them. “TJL was really trying to make it work, but Bennifer decided to lay low, ” Mariah Carey thread starter MonarC confided. “How can you expect someone to write a ‘Top Ten’ list about you when you won’t do anything stupid?”
When Jen and Ben ended their relationship earlier this week, TJL shuttered himself in his study, where wept profusely and ordered his tech support people to purge any unpublished bits about Bennifer from his computer. “It broke my heart to delete so many pieces of comic gold,” an insider reported. “ He had this great bit about Ben’s hairpiece being interviewed by that guy from Inside The Actors Studio. No one can write funny hairpiece dialog like TJL.”
Though still visibly shaken by the breakup, TJL has vowed to shoulder on through the crisis and find some new famous people or current events to ridicule. “I’m told there are these people called politicians that can be amusing,” he said. “I’ve also heard there’s some kind of war thingy going on in Iraq, which sounds like a load of laughs. But it’s going to be a while before I mock another celebrity. It’s just too soon… Are Demi and Ashton still together?"

Polniaczek033 · 01-24-2004, 10:22 PM

PashminaDietrich · 01-24-2004, 10:47 PM

{Damn, you're good...

}

dawsongirl · 01-24-2004, 11:22 PM

david&maddie4ever · 01-25-2004, 12:13 AM

Oh, my, my...you are just so good at this. You should definitely take this up as a profession.

God...

~Lauren

dlemond · 01-25-2004, 12:21 AM

Excellent work as usual my friend.

The "careful deliberation and a little afternoon nap" was my favorite, though perhaps dry for other people's taste, I chuckled into my champagne cocktail.

Don't worry- Demi and Ashton are going to be fodder for a long time/or woops that's over.

How about a name for them?

Demash?

They did the Demash
They did the Monster Demash
The Monster Demash

Janice · 01-25-2004, 02:47 PM

I knew it had to come to an end someday.

Funny funny stuff TJL. Thanks for not misquoting me.

Janice · 01-25-2004, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dlemond
They did the Demash
They did the Monster Demash
The Monster Demash

Cactus Jack · 01-25-2004, 03:51 PM

Funny FUNNY stuff, if youve ever written a parody, or just anything, youd be a hit at amIright.com

Cactus Jack · 01-25-2004, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dlemond
Excellent work as usual my friend.

The "careful deliberation and a little afternoon nap" was my favorite, though perhaps dry for other people's taste, I chuckled into my champagne cocktail.

Don't worry- Demi and Ashton are going to be fodder for a long time/or woops that's over.

How about a name for them?

Demash?

They did the Demash
They did the Monster Demash
The Monster Demash

LOL!!!!!! Demash! I LOVE it!

Lucylover22 · 01-25-2004, 04:44 PM

Ewan's My Man · 01-25-2004, 05:57 PM

*Pleasant Tomorrow* · 01-25-2004, 06:37 PM

¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ · 01-25-2004, 06:59 PM

ks · 01-25-2004, 11:49 PM

As always...funny stuff.

ks

01-24-2004, 10:16 PM	#1
TJL Suburbanite Extrordinaire Forum Star Join Date: Dec 29, 2001 Location: New Jersey - the cradle of civilization Posts: 16,588	TJL Ends Relationship With Bennifer Jokes More made up crap from the Sitcoms Online Press: The Sitcoms Online community was once again thrown for a loop with today’s announcement that Senior Member and snappy dresser TJL has ended his relationship with any jokes related to Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez. “It’s over,” a teary eyed TJL announced in a surprise press conference from his posh Manhattan abode. “After many hours of hard thought, careful deliberation and a little afternoon nap, I have decided to end my long and fruitful association with any jokes regarding Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, or as they were more commonly known; Bennifer.” For nearly a year TJL gleefully hurled pun filled jibes, witty barbs, and verbal groin kicks at Bennifer; culminating last Summer with the release of the Hollywood supercouple’s uberbomb “Gigli.” “TJL was so happy back then,” Sitcoms Online Moderator Janice noted. “He told me the jokes practically wrote themselves. Which is good since TJL has trouble holding a pen because the years of alcohol abuse has made him as shaky as Ozzy Osbourne on a cold winter morning.” Sadly the relationship had grown strained over the past few months when lack of news and gossip regarding Ben and Jen made it hard for TJL to make fun of them. “TJL was really trying to make it work, but Bennifer decided to lay low, ” Mariah Carey thread starter MonarC confided. “How can you expect someone to write a ‘Top Ten’ list about you when you won’t do anything stupid?” When Jen and Ben ended their relationship earlier this week, TJL shuttered himself in his study, where wept profusely and ordered his tech support people to purge any unpublished bits about Bennifer from his computer. “It broke my heart to delete so many pieces of comic gold,” an insider reported. “ He had this great bit about Ben’s hairpiece being interviewed by that guy from Inside The Actors Studio. No one can write funny hairpiece dialog like TJL.” Though still visibly shaken by the breakup, TJL has vowed to shoulder on through the crisis and find some new famous people or current events to ridicule. “I’m told there are these people called politicians that can be amusing,” he said. “I’ve also heard there’s some kind of war thingy going on in Iraq, which sounds like a load of laughs. But it’s going to be a while before I mock another celebrity. It’s just too soon… Are Demi and Ashton still together?"
	__________________ "I think I'll stroll up to the front to see how the shooting's going..." - Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce Read my blogs! http://centralparkamisguide.com/ http://dvdcriticscorner.com Visit me on Facebook!http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=641138880 Hey, I do the tweet thing too! http://twitter.com/TomLevier My shop of handmade items! http://www.etsy.com/shop/ColdGarageCreations

01-24-2004, 10:22 PM	#2
Polniaczek033 believe. Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 26, 2002 Location: edinboro. Posts: 4,634
	__________________ mindfulness.

01-24-2004, 10:47 PM	#3
PashminaDietrich Oh no, she's baaack Senior Member Join Date: Jul 20, 2003 Location: north of Arlen, south of Southfork, and stuck in the middle with you... Posts: 1,733	{Damn, you're good... }
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01-25-2004, 12:13 AM	#5
david&maddie4ever ...the hard way... Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 01, 2003 Location: ...staring at my calendar, counting the days until the release of Moonlighting on DVD... Posts: 3,580	Oh, my, my...you are just so good at this. You should definitely take this up as a profession. God... ~Lauren
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01-25-2004, 12:21 AM	#6
dlemond Hey, I know you. Moderator Forum Veteran Join Date: Dec 03, 2001 Location: New Jersey Posts: 6,751	Excellent work as usual my friend. The "careful deliberation and a little afternoon nap" was my favorite, though perhaps dry for other people's taste, I chuckled into my champagne cocktail. Don't worry- Demi and Ashton are going to be fodder for a long time/or woops that's over. How about a name for them? Demash? They did the Demash They did the Monster Demash The Monster Demash
	__________________ Michael

01-24-2004, 11:22 PM	#4
dawsongirl Member Forum Icon Join Date: Jan 04, 2001 Posts: 53,140

01-25-2004, 02:47 PM	#7
Janice Retired Admin - Hollywood Swingin' Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 03, 2001 Location: Beantown Posts: 36,388	I knew it had to come to an end someday. Funny funny stuff TJL. Thanks for not misquoting me.

01-25-2004, 03:51 PM	#9
Cactus Jack RonFingSwanson Forum Idol Join Date: Dec 09, 2001 Location: Santa Rosa Beach,FL Posts: 103,099	Funny FUNNY stuff, if youve ever written a parody, or just anything, youd be a hit at amIright.com
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01-25-2004, 04:44 PM	#11
Lucylover22 Young and Hopeless Forum Regular Join Date: Aug 15, 2001 Location: She-Town Posts: 769
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01-25-2004, 05:57 PM	#12
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01-25-2004, 06:37 PM	#13
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01-25-2004, 06:59 PM	#14
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01-25-2004, 11:49 PM	#15
ks Certifiably Insane Forum Veteran Join Date: Dec 21, 2000 Location: I live in my hole... Posts: 5,501	As always...funny stuff. ks
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