Get Lost!!!!!! - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Jenya · 01-24-2004, 08:50 PM

I HATE Jehovah's Witnesses. They were pestering me tonight about joining their church.

I'M NOT INTERESTED!!!

Get Lost! *slams the door*

ABlairican Pie · 01-24-2004, 10:15 PM

So ya don't like Jehovah's Waitresses? Ever want to tell them to GET SAVED?

Polniaczek033 · 01-24-2004, 10:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jenya
I HATE Jehovah's Witnesses. They were pestering me tonight about joining their church.

I'M NOT INTERESTED!!!

Get Lost! *slams the door*

A whole bunch of them came to my house one day and tried to sell us brooms..

Jenya · 01-24-2004, 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Polniaczek033
A whole bunch of them came to my house one day and tried to sell us brooms..

Did you sweep them out the door?

ABlairican Pie · 01-24-2004, 10:34 PM

BROOMS???

"Yeah, sure I'll buy a broom from youse guys.....so I can beatcher asses with it!!!"

No, that's mean. I should tell them we should talk about theological issues over a blood transfusion and a soda...

Jenya · 01-24-2004, 10:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Captain ABlairica
So ya don't like Jehovah's Waitresses? Ever want to tell them to GET SAVED?

Hmmmm.....

This looks like a job for EricIdlefan!

ABlairican Pie · 01-24-2004, 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jenya
Hmmmm.....

This looks like a job for EricIdlefan!

:

Jenya · 01-24-2004, 11:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Captain ABlairica
BROOMS??? "Yeah, sure I'll buy a broom from youse guys.....so I can beatcher asses with it!!!"

No, that's mean. I should tell them we should talk about theological issues over a blood transfusion and a soda...

I should've played Stairway to Heaven in reverse on the Reel-To-Reel deck.

ABlairican Pie · 01-24-2004, 11:02 PM

Jenya · 01-24-2004, 11:10 PM

You should've seen this family. All dressed up. Father & Son in suits. Mother & Daughter in a nice long blue dress.

"Hello" the Mother says.......

"Do you think Satan was responsible for all these terrorist attacks you see on TV"?

"The Devil is the television" She continues, "he spreads bad news and hate to the world".

Hollow · 01-25-2004, 01:47 AM

Tell them that god is full of **** and they can go have an orgy. or if you dont want to do that you can just slam the door.

ABlairican Pie · 01-25-2004, 04:04 AM

The Devil is a MACHINE???

It's like on SNL about 25 years ago when Shelly Duvall hosted and they were doing a bit called "Night of the Living Moonies" hwere they were trying to de-program a member of Reverend Moon's Unification Church who had this braindead look on her face. The one de-programmer was saying, "Why not watch some television, it'll make you feel better," and the girl said in a monotone voice, "Television is the devil's paintbrush." And the guy says, "Okay, how about we get you a hamburger," and she replies, "Hamburgers are the devil's scouring pad."

ABlairican Pie · 01-25-2004, 04:25 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by safety pin
Tell them that god is full of **** and they can go have an orgy. or if you dont want to do that you can just slam the door.

God's not full of...stuff. He invented Metallica and Slayer, didn't he??

I remember over ten years ago, I wanted to become an ordained minister and was going to start a church that used rock lyrics and I would do a sermon based on them: "'Eye of the Beholder ' by Metallica--'Do you see what I see? Truth is an offense.' Here are lyrics that would definitely apply to Our Lord, His words would cause His enemies the Pharisees to cough up huge frothing hairballs of hate and outrage--"What?? This man healed on the Sabbath!! He broke the laws of the Sabbath by showing compassion to a lame man--and He had the NERVE to question OUR authority on the matter!!"

I should write a Metal-ized Version of the Bible. It would sell like hotcakes.

Jenya · 01-25-2004, 11:27 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by safety pin
Tell them that god is full of **** and they can go have an orgy. or if you dont want to do that you can just slam the door.

God is full of love!

The good thing about him is, that he doesn't bash rotten teenagers and give them a fat lip!

Jenya · 01-25-2004, 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Captain ABlairica
The Devil is a MACHINE???

It's like on SNL about 25 years ago when Shelly Duvall hosted and they were doing a bit called "Night of the Living Moonies" hwere they were trying to de-program a member of Reverend Moon's Unification Church who had this braindead look on her face. The one de-programmer was saying, "Why not watch some television, it'll make you feel better," and the girl said in a monotone voice, "Television is the devil's paintbrush." And the guy says, "Okay, how about we get you a hamburger," and she replies, "Hamburgers are the devil's scouring pad."

Now I just might've been more convinced that "The Devil is the television", if they came over on Tuesday night during the State Of The Union Address.

01-24-2004, 08:50 PM	#1
Jenya Supervisor Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 20, 2003 Location: Canmore, Alberta Posts: 3,359	Get Lost!!!!!! I HATE *Jehovah's Witnesses. They were pestering me tonight about joining their church. I'M NOT INTERESTED!!! Get Lost! slams the door*

01-24-2004, 10:15 PM	#2
ABlairican Pie Member Forum Superstar Join Date: Dec 12, 2001 Location: Living where cats reign more Supreme than a pizza. Posts: 31,620	So ya don't like Jehovah's Waitresses? Ever want to tell them to GET SAVED?
	__________________ Release the kitties. --Nathan Explosion

01-24-2004, 10:34 PM	#5
ABlairican Pie Member Forum Superstar Join Date: Dec 12, 2001 Location: Living where cats reign more Supreme than a pizza. Posts: 31,620	BROOMS??? "Yeah, sure I'll buy a broom from youse guys.....so I can beatcher asses with it!!!" No, that's mean. I should tell them we should talk about theological issues over a blood transfusion and a soda...

01-24-2004, 11:02 PM	#9
ABlairican Pie Member Forum Superstar Join Date: Dec 12, 2001 Location: Living where cats reign more Supreme than a pizza. Posts: 31,620

01-24-2004, 11:10 PM	#10
Jenya Supervisor Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Apr 20, 2003 Location: Canmore, Alberta Posts: 3,359	You should've seen this family. All dressed up. Father & Son in suits. Mother & Daughter in a nice long blue dress. "Hello" the Mother says....... "Do you think Satan was responsible for all these terrorist attacks you see on TV"? "The Devil is the television" She continues, "he spreads bad news and hate to the world".

01-25-2004, 01:47 AM	#11
Hollow Member Forum Superstar Join Date: Dec 16, 2001 Posts: 30,406	Tell them that god is full of **** and they can go have an orgy. or if you dont want to do that you can just slam the door.

01-25-2004, 04:04 AM	#12
ABlairican Pie Member Forum Superstar Join Date: Dec 12, 2001 Location: Living where cats reign more Supreme than a pizza. Posts: 31,620	The Devil is a MACHINE??? It's like on SNL about 25 years ago when Shelly Duvall hosted and they were doing a bit called "Night of the Living Moonies" hwere they were trying to de-program a member of Reverend Moon's Unification Church who had this braindead look on her face. The one de-programmer was saying, "Why not watch some television, it'll make you feel better," and the girl said in a monotone voice, "Television is the devil's paintbrush." And the guy says, "Okay, how about we get you a hamburger," and she replies, "Hamburgers are the devil's scouring pad."