Jerry Mathers near death....say what? - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Just Popped In · 01-02-2004, 12:10 AM

That's what I read at the following source:

http://www.theonion.com/3951/news1.html

I've never heard of "The Onion" and don't know if it's a reliable source for reporting the truth.

Is that story true?
(see below)

---------------------------------------------------------
(here's the info, in case anyone here has trouble opening up the link):

Mobile/PDA | Print Edition | Text Version

VOLUME 39 ISSUE 51 31 DECEMBER 2003
Front Page News Previous Issue Archives

Advertisement

HOLLYWOOD, CA–The inexorable march of time, the prison into which all humankind is born, brought Leave It To Beaver star Jerry Mathers–and all of us–one step closer to the grave Monday.

Above: Leave It To Beaver star Jerry Mathers, whose light grows dim.
"I saw Jerry Mathers on Entertainment Tonight a couple months ago," said Barry Carter, 34, of Duluth, MN. "It was weird. He still has that baby face, but he's, like, in his 50s now. I was like, 'Whoa, look at Jerry Mathers, he's getting up there in years,' and my wife said, 'Well, aren't we all?' I guess it's true. I'm not as young as I used to be, either."

Added Carter with a reflective sigh: "It makes you think."

Mathers, who came face-to-face with his own mortality in April 2001, when a worm he swallowed on The Tonight Show's "Celebrity Survivor" gave him a severe stomach infection, once charmed millions as the irrepressible mischief-maker "The Beav." Yet, as sands through the hourglass, Mathers' remaining moments on Earth continue to run out, bringing the star of the short-lived '80s syndicated series Still The Beaver closer to the day when worms would eat not just his stomach lining, but the whole of his flesh.

"Jerry Mathers?" said Clear Lake, IA, homemaker Janet Platt, 49. "He was so adorable on Leave It To Beaver, the very picture of childhood innocence. But then his youthful innocence gave way–as it must for all of us–to the hard-bitten realities of adulthood and, eventually, old age. But he will live forever in my heart, as well as the hearts of millions of others, where he will always remain the quintessential American boy."

Indeed, as we all project our deepest doubts and fears onto the canvas of our earthly existence, struggling to create meaning where there is none, so too is it with TV's Jerry Mathers. The symbol of an entire culture's faith in the magic of childhood, Mathers has been the subject of myriad rumors, all untrue. Not only was he said to have been killed in the Vietnam War, but he was also rumored to have grown up to become the legendary, death-obsessed '70s shock-rocker Alice Cooper.

Above: Mathers (right) and Beaver co-star Tony Dow in the full bloom of youth, never to be regained.
But as these urban legends continue to circulate, the real Jerry Mathers remains very much alive, forging ahead day after day, as all of us must, despite the inevitable end which awaits him in the cold embrace of Death.

"I think life is a challenge," Mathers said during a recent online appearance on HealthTalk Interactive to discuss his twin battles with diabetes and dyslexia. "Every day, when you get out of bed, there's challenge after challenge. So I say, just take each one as they come. Yes, they were both challenges, but, you know, I've met other challenges in my life, and as I say, I will continue to meet and beat them!"

What more can any of us do?

Determined to maintain a positive attitude in the face of the howling void, Mathers greets each day with a brave smile. The actor, who is available for personal appearances at trade shows, never fails to sign an autograph for an admiring fan. In addition, he jogs one hour every day and has maintained a healthy diet since losing more than 40 pounds on the Jenny Craig program, for which he was briefly a celebrity spokesman.

He still finds regular roles in feature films, including the 1994 thriller Sexual Malice. And his 1998 memoir, And Jerry Mathers As "The Beaver," still in print and a strong seller since its 1998 publication, is a delightful trip down memory lane and an enjoyable book for readers of all ages. Yes, time has been kinder to TV's Jerry Mathers than to most.

Yet we can only wonder: Does Mathers dream of another sort of time? Does he dream of a Vonnegutian reverse-entropy universe in which his smiling childhood visage recedes not into the dimness of the past, but instead moves toward a beautiful convergence, where decay becomes birth, destruction becomes growth, and all find redemption in lost innocence, regained by the reversal of our days?

Only God–and TV's "The Beav"–know for sure.

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junecleaver · 01-02-2004, 12:39 AM

well, i once read something from the onion making fun of Christmas..like Jesus hitting the big 2-0-0-3...i think the onion is just a fake...so we should have nothing to worry about

BlueEyes1767 · 01-02-2004, 08:42 AM

That article states that Jerry Mathers was rumored to have grown up to be Alice Cooper. Actually, it was Ken Osmond. Alice Cooper stated in an interview that he was Eddie Haskell when he was growing up. He was just saying that he was similar to Eddie, but some took it like Eddie and Alice were one and the same.
Osmond was also rumored to be the late porn star John Holmes. He sure gets around!

evermore · 01-02-2004, 10:01 AM

I had heard that Jerry Mathers became severely sick after eating that worm on the show, but he had recovered from it. I never heard of this magazine and the article sounds like a hoax.

2

njf520 · 01-02-2004, 01:59 PM

the onion is a humor site.

look at the other articles and i can't see how one would wonder if this site has ANY credibility.

articles like "Microsoft patents ones and zeros"

very funny site...but not true.

vlcreations · 01-02-2004, 11:03 PM

The Onion is a humor site-he's still well!

Jack1000 · 01-03-2004, 03:37 PM

I know about The Onion and it's stories, but did Jerry really eat a worm on The Tonight Show, as a part of celebrity Survivor?

Jack

evermore · 01-03-2004, 05:37 PM

APRIL
Jerry Mathers (Leave It to Beaver) said he suffered rectal bleeding, abdominal pain and big-time diarrhea after swallowing a live South American worm during a Survivor spoof on The Tonight Show last February. The former Beav, 52, told the April 24 edition of the National Enquirer that he lost 15 pounds during the weeks-long health ordeal, but bears no ill will toward Tonight, or host Jay Leno. He doesn't even think he got the worst end of the Survivor parody. Said Mathers: "I felt sorry for Charlene Tilton because she had to eat a boiled fish eye." (POSTED: 4/30/01)

this was an article from FORMER CHILD STAR CENTRAL
April 2001

MikeZ · 01-03-2004, 07:54 PM

What a way to lose a few pounds!!

Jerry, next time, bite the worm before you eat it.

01-02-2004, 12:10 AM	#1
Just Popped In Lucy & Ricky forever Frequent Poster Join Date: Nov 16, 2002 Location: Monterey Peninsula, California Posts: 304	Jerry Mathers near death....say what? That's what I read at the following source: http://www.theonion.com/3951/news1.html I've never heard of "The Onion" and don't know if it's a reliable source for reporting the truth. Is that story true? (see below) --------------------------------------------------------- (here's the info, in case anyone here has trouble opening up the link): Mobile/PDA \| Print Edition \| Text Version VOLUME 39 ISSUE 51 31 DECEMBER 2003 Front Page News Previous Issue Archives Advertisement HOLLYWOOD, CA–The inexorable march of time, the prison into which all humankind is born, brought Leave It To Beaver star Jerry Mathers–and all of us–one step closer to the grave Monday. Above: Leave It To Beaver star Jerry Mathers, whose light grows dim. "I saw Jerry Mathers on Entertainment Tonight a couple months ago," said Barry Carter, 34, of Duluth, MN. "It was weird. He still has that baby face, but he's, like, in his 50s now. I was like, 'Whoa, look at Jerry Mathers, he's getting up there in years,' and my wife said, 'Well, aren't we all?' I guess it's true. I'm not as young as I used to be, either." Added Carter with a reflective sigh: "It makes you think." Mathers, who came face-to-face with his own mortality in April 2001, when a worm he swallowed on The Tonight Show's "Celebrity Survivor" gave him a severe stomach infection, once charmed millions as the irrepressible mischief-maker "The Beav." Yet, as sands through the hourglass, Mathers' remaining moments on Earth continue to run out, bringing the star of the short-lived '80s syndicated series Still The Beaver closer to the day when worms would eat not just his stomach lining, but the whole of his flesh. "Jerry Mathers?" said Clear Lake, IA, homemaker Janet Platt, 49. "He was so adorable on Leave It To Beaver, the very picture of childhood innocence. But then his youthful innocence gave way–as it must for all of us–to the hard-bitten realities of adulthood and, eventually, old age. But he will live forever in my heart, as well as the hearts of millions of others, where he will always remain the quintessential American boy." Indeed, as we all project our deepest doubts and fears onto the canvas of our earthly existence, struggling to create meaning where there is none, so too is it with TV's Jerry Mathers. The symbol of an entire culture's faith in the magic of childhood, Mathers has been the subject of myriad rumors, all untrue. Not only was he said to have been killed in the Vietnam War, but he was also rumored to have grown up to become the legendary, death-obsessed '70s shock-rocker Alice Cooper. Above: Mathers (right) and Beaver co-star Tony Dow in the full bloom of youth, never to be regained. But as these urban legends continue to circulate, the real Jerry Mathers remains very much alive, forging ahead day after day, as all of us must, despite the inevitable end which awaits him in the cold embrace of Death. "I think life is a challenge," Mathers said during a recent online appearance on HealthTalk Interactive to discuss his twin battles with diabetes and dyslexia. "Every day, when you get out of bed, there's challenge after challenge. So I say, just take each one as they come. Yes, they were both challenges, but, you know, I've met other challenges in my life, and as I say, I will continue to meet and beat them!" What more can any of us do? Determined to maintain a positive attitude in the face of the howling void, Mathers greets each day with a brave smile. The actor, who is available for personal appearances at trade shows, never fails to sign an autograph for an admiring fan. In addition, he jogs one hour every day and has maintained a healthy diet since losing more than 40 pounds on the Jenny Craig program, for which he was briefly a celebrity spokesman. He still finds regular roles in feature films, including the 1994 thriller Sexual Malice. And his 1998 memoir, And Jerry Mathers As "The Beaver," still in print and a strong seller since its 1998 publication, is a delightful trip down memory lane and an enjoyable book for readers of all ages. Yes, time has been kinder to TV's Jerry Mathers than to most. Yet we can only wonder: Does Mathers dream of another sort of time? Does he dream of a Vonnegutian reverse-entropy universe in which his smiling childhood visage recedes not into the dimness of the past, but instead moves toward a beautiful convergence, where decay becomes birth, destruction becomes growth, and all find redemption in lost innocence, regained by the reversal of our days? Only God–and TV's "The Beav"–know for sure. Sponsor Links Newsletters Enter your email address below to sign up for our weekly newsletter! More information Save 80% off printer ink at MyInks! Go Daddy $7.95 Domain Names Web Hosting for Smart People -- pair.com BUCK NAKED w/ CHIX. t-shirts you shouldn't wear Need custom holiday cards? 25% off now! Sexual language. The ultimate Book. HostVentures Web Hosting - only $9.95/month Kick up your CD collection at BMG VOYEUR? Their emails, your fun! FREE! Domain Names for Smart People _ pairNIC.com Get a Degree FAST! Bachelor's in 13 mo.! Bet On Football at Sportsinteraction.com © Copyright 2003, Onion, Inc., All rights reserved. Contact Us Help/FAQ Privacy Policy Media Kit The Onion® is not intended for readers under 18 years of age.
	__________________ Sanity is simply the ability of the mind to adjust to reality. If we can't adjust, we either hide from reality, or we put ourselves above life, where we're super-beings who don't have to follow the rules. ~Sidney Sheldon ("The Naked Face")

01-02-2004, 08:42 AM	#3
BlueEyes1767 Member Occasional Poster Join Date: Nov 26, 2003 Location: Akron, Ohio Posts: 95	That article states that Jerry Mathers was rumored to have grown up to be Alice Cooper. Actually, it was Ken Osmond. Alice Cooper stated in an interview that he was Eddie Haskell when he was growing up. He was just saying that he was similar to Eddie, but some took it like Eddie and Alice were one and the same. Osmond was also rumored to be the late porn star John Holmes. He sure gets around!
	Last edited by BlueEyes1767; 01-02-2004 at 08:57 AM.

01-02-2004, 10:01 AM	#4
evermore Member Forum Regular Join Date: Aug 16, 2003 Location: New York City Posts: 906	I had heard that Jerry Mathers became severely sick after eating that worm on the show, but he had recovered from it. I never heard of this magazine and the article sounds like a hoax.2

01-02-2004, 12:39 AM	#2
junecleaver Member Senior Member Join Date: Jun 28, 2003 Location: i'm a southerner! :D Posts: 1,298	well, i once read something from the onion making fun of Christmas..like Jesus hitting the big 2-0-0-3...i think the onion is just a fake...so we should have nothing to worry about

01-02-2004, 01:59 PM	#5
njf520 Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Jan 29, 2003 Posts: 136	the onion is a humor site. look at the other articles and i can't see how one would wonder if this site has ANY credibility. articles like "Microsoft patents ones and zeros" very funny site...but not true.

01-02-2004, 11:03 PM	#6
vlcreations Member Occasional Poster Join Date: Jan 02, 2004 Location: Colorado Posts: 8	The Onion is a humor site-he's still well!

01-03-2004, 03:37 PM	#7
Jack1000 Member Senior Member Join Date: Dec 05, 2001 Posts: 2,055	I know about The Onion and it's stories, but did Jerry really eat a worm on The Tonight Show, as a part of celebrity Survivor? Jack

01-03-2004, 05:37 PM	#8
evermore Member Forum Regular Join Date: Aug 16, 2003 Location: New York City Posts: 906	APRIL Jerry Mathers (Leave It to Beaver) said he suffered rectal bleeding, abdominal pain and big-time diarrhea after swallowing a live South American worm during a Survivor spoof on The Tonight Show last February. The former Beav, 52, told the April 24 edition of the National Enquirer that he lost 15 pounds during the weeks-long health ordeal, but bears no ill will toward Tonight, or host Jay Leno. He doesn't even think he got the worst end of the Survivor parody. Said Mathers: "I felt sorry for Charlene Tilton because she had to eat a boiled fish eye." (POSTED: 4/30/01) this was an article from FORMER CHILD STAR CENTRAL April 2001

01-03-2004, 07:54 PM	#9
MikeZ The Phoenix Frequent Poster Join Date: Oct 01, 2003 Posts: 208	What a way to lose a few pounds!! Jerry, next time, bite the worm before you eat it.