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Old 12-14-2003, 01:04 PM   #1
sinatrastar
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http://www.tnh.unh.edu/issues/020102...carrottop.html

KRUNK's Man of the year: Carrot Top
Tom Silvestro
TNH Reporter
"Carrot" and "top" - the words are quite unremarkable by themselves. Webster’s Dictionary defines "carrot" as "a plant widely cultivated for its edible taproot" and defines "top" as "the uppermost part." However, when placed together, the words create the name of a person. Who is this human being? - KRUNK’s Man of the Year for 2001: Carrot Top.

Disenchanted with his Dry Cleaning degree from Cocoa Beach Community College, the red headed moppet started doing stand-up comedy on open mic nights at "Ha Ha’s Chuckle Bar and Grill." Following in the footsteps of prop-comedy pioneer Gallagher, Carrot Top brought audiences to the verge of laughter with his inventions, such as an electric guitar made out of lead - "so you can play HEAVY METAL!" - and eye glasses made out of Budweiser cans — "Beer Goggles for when ya drink too much!"

Carrot Top soon became a darling on the college comedy circuit, selling out countless arenas to half capacity. Then the call came that every comedian dreams about: a five-minute set on network television. Carrot Top’s legendary performance on "The Pat Sajak Show" (sometime in the 80s) nearly catapulted him to the brink of semi-stardom and prompted a media feeding frenzy among industry executives that desperately wanted to get him hired. Soon, Carrot Top was at "the top" (or lower middle) of every comedy club owner’s "long list" of tolerable comedy acts.

Everyone now wanted a piece of the "carrotted one" and television offers began tapering in. He made several memorably forgettable guest appearances on such nondescript shows as "Harry and the Hendersons: The TV Show," "University of Fun" and "Work Sucks!" Also, due to an accidental booking by a casting producer, Carrot Top scored a major guest spot in a 1995 (unaired) episode of "Seinfeld." His recent string of 1-800-CALL-ATT commercials only add to his publicity sheet. "There’s a full page of text now," noted Carrot Top’s Agent, Morty Field on the increased level of ink in his client’s bio.

It was only a matter of time and indifference until movie producers began knocking, and Carrot Top’s first movie, "Chairman of the Board" hit theaters on April 17, 1998 and left the following Monday. While the film drew mixed reviews, one thing is certain — it was indeed a motion picture. Director Alex Zamm has this to say about his experience with Carrot Top: "He is a true mammal in every sense of the word."

Carrot Top’s future is just as bright as his checkered past with an upcoming comedy album, "Carrot Top: Live at Budokan," and guest reading of the "The Boner Speeches," a spin-off of the highly successful "Vagina Monologues." All this, and a book in the works, tentatively titled "Carrot Top’s Guide to Life" with witticisms such as "If life gives you poop, make poop juice." But what does the man of the hour have to say about all the veiled insults and mock adulation? KRUNK was able to obtain an interview with the redheaded ragamuffin. When asked about any New Year’s resolutions, Carrot Top hilariously quipped…"No." Oh, Carrot Top! I guess I better turn up the laugh meter!

The highest echelons of comedy bring to mind names such as Charlie Chaplin, Steve Allen, Jack Benny, Johnny Carson, and David Letterman. "Carrot Top" is also a name.

Unaired episode??
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Old 12-14-2003, 01:06 PM   #2
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Can't blame them for not airing it.
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Old 12-14-2003, 01:52 PM   #3
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I wonder what thats about???
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