Police Raid TJL's Mansion: Crap Found - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

TJL · 11-23-2003, 04:23 PM

Breaking News From the Sitcoms Online Press...

New York - Police and FBI officials raided the palatial estate of Sitcoms Online Senior Member TJL this morning, after a months long investigation into his financial misdeeds and personal shenanigans.
Acting on several anonymous tips, investigators searched the lush grounds of Lemonjello, TJL's private xanadu high in the hills of Weehawken, New Jersey and found a warehouse containing 5 million cases of Pokemon cards, a full scale replica of the 4077th M*A*S*H set, a sweatshop filled with illegal immigrants making Sean John apparel, and one of those big slides where you have to sit on a potato sack to ride it.
A thorough search of the vine covered main house uncovered rooms filled with knick-knacks, doo-dads, the only known copy of an episode of "Two Guys And A Girl" that was actually funny, and several hundred copies of TJL's new book "How I Stole Tons Of Loot And Hid It Where They Will Never Find It Ha Ha."
When asked to verify reports that TJL's home was often used as a party house where scantily clad models catered to his sexual whims, a spokesman replied "I can tell you without a doubt that no sexual activity occured here. None. Not even close. Are you kidding me? Quakers get more action than he does."
TJL was shuttered in his private penthouse in New York and refused comment except to say that he could totally have sex with models if he wanted to.

fr00ti · 11-23-2003, 04:25 PM

You crack me up.

Crimson and Clover · 11-23-2003, 04:30 PM

PashminaDietrich · 11-23-2003, 04:31 PM

I'm a little surprised they didn't find that secret stockpile under the house. Then you'd really be up the creek, ne?

TJL · 11-23-2003, 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by PashminaDietrich

I'm a little surprised they didn't find that secret stockpile under the house. Then you'd really be up the creek, ne?

Shh.

Ixnay on the ecretstay ockstpliestay..

The Modfather · 11-23-2003, 04:36 PM

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MonarC · 11-23-2003, 06:45 PM

oh man i needed a laugh thx TJL

Ewan's My Man · 11-23-2003, 08:26 PM

PZelda · 11-23-2003, 08:35 PM

!!!!!

As usual, you've outdone yourself, TJL.

Kay Scarpetta · 11-23-2003, 10:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by TJL
Shh.

Ixnay on the ecretstay ockstpliestay..

I'm so lucky I'm fluent in pig-Latin

And

you REALLY crack me up

Janice · 11-23-2003, 10:54 PM

I'm surprised they didn't find your 100 bootleg copies of Gigli.

I also know this photo hangs in your living room, so it's weird that the Feds didn't confiscate it.

dandelion wine · 11-23-2003, 10:59 PM

You, sir, are a hoot.

david&maddie4ever · 11-23-2003, 11:11 PM

Unbelievable. Too funny...

Thanks for the laugh!

~Lauren

dawsongirl · 11-24-2003, 01:31 AM

Great! Now where am I gonna go for Spring Break?? Took me 5 years to get into Lemonjello!!

LILFACE23 · 11-24-2003, 01:33 AM

You crack me up

11-23-2003, 04:23 PM	#1
TJL Suburbanite Extrordinaire Forum Star Join Date: Dec 29, 2001 Location: New Jersey - the cradle of civilization Posts: 16,588	Police Raid TJL's Mansion: Crap Found Breaking News From the Sitcoms Online Press... New York - Police and FBI officials raided the palatial estate of Sitcoms Online Senior Member TJL this morning, after a months long investigation into his financial misdeeds and personal shenanigans. Acting on several anonymous tips, investigators searched the lush grounds of Lemonjello, TJL's private xanadu high in the hills of Weehawken, New Jersey and found a warehouse containing 5 million cases of Pokemon cards, a full scale replica of the 4077th MAS*H set, a sweatshop filled with illegal immigrants making Sean John apparel, and one of those big slides where you have to sit on a potato sack to ride it. A thorough search of the vine covered main house uncovered rooms filled with knick-knacks, doo-dads, the only known copy of an episode of "Two Guys And A Girl" that was actually funny, and several hundred copies of TJL's new book "How I Stole Tons Of Loot And Hid It Where They Will Never Find It Ha Ha." When asked to verify reports that TJL's home was often used as a party house where scantily clad models catered to his sexual whims, a spokesman replied "I can tell you without a doubt that no sexual activity occured here. None. Not even close. Are you kidding me? Quakers get more action than he does." TJL was shuttered in his private penthouse in New York and refused comment except to say that he could totally have sex with models if he wanted to.
	__________________ "I think I'll stroll up to the front to see how the shooting's going..." - Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce Read my blogs! http://centralparkamisguide.com/ http://dvdcriticscorner.com Visit me on Facebook!http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=641138880 Hey, I do the tweet thing too! http://twitter.com/TomLevier My shop of handmade items! http://www.etsy.com/shop/ColdGarageCreations

11-23-2003, 04:25 PM	#2
fr00ti Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Sep 16, 2002 Posts: 12,846	You crack me up.
	__________________ ...

11-23-2003, 04:30 PM	#3
Crimson and Clover Member Forum Star Join Date: Jun 09, 2002 Location: NC Posts: 17,345
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11-23-2003, 04:31 PM	#4
PashminaDietrich Oh no, she's baaack Senior Member Join Date: Jul 20, 2003 Location: north of Arlen, south of Southfork, and stuck in the middle with you... Posts: 1,733	I'm a little surprised they didn't find that secret stockpile under the house. Then you'd really be up the creek, ne?
	__________________ Don't call it a comeback... ah what the heck, go ahead...

11-23-2003, 08:26 PM	#8
Ewan's My Man I'll Cover You Forum Veteran Join Date: Sep 29, 2001 Location: Beneath the opera house... Posts: 5,682
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11-23-2003, 04:36 PM	#6
The Modfather It Sure Does Moderator Forum Celebrity Join Date: Jul 12, 2003 Location: canada Posts: 21,149	LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

11-23-2003, 06:45 PM	#7
MonarC The truth will set you free Forum Fanatic Join Date: Dec 05, 2002 Location: 3rd Stone From The Sun Posts: 9,525	oh man i needed a laugh thx TJL

11-23-2003, 08:35 PM	#9
PZelda Two Valeries! <3 Forum Addict Join Date: Jul 15, 2002 Location: I'm STILL missing NYC. :( Posts: 78,223	!!!!! As usual, you've outdone yourself, TJL.
	__________________ Cheers behind the couch!

11-23-2003, 10:54 PM	#11
Janice Retired Admin - Hollywood Swingin' Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 03, 2001 Location: Beantown Posts: 36,388	I'm surprised they didn't find your 100 bootleg copies of Gigli. I also know this photo hangs in your living room, so it's weird that the Feds didn't confiscate it. Attached Images

11-23-2003, 10:59 PM	#12
dandelion wine ~ Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 20, 2003 Location: Behind the Couch Posts: 34,967	You, sir, are a hoot.

11-23-2003, 11:11 PM	#13
david&maddie4ever ...the hard way... Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 01, 2003 Location: ...staring at my calendar, counting the days until the release of Moonlighting on DVD... Posts: 3,580	Unbelievable. Too funny... Thanks for the laugh! ~Lauren
	__________________ living and loving and learning ...the hard way...

11-24-2003, 01:31 AM	#14
dawsongirl Member Forum Icon Join Date: Jan 04, 2001 Posts: 53,140	Great! Now where am I gonna go for Spring Break?? Took me 5 years to get into Lemonjello!!

11-24-2003, 01:33 AM	#15
LILFACE23 MISS YOU GUYS Senior Member Join Date: Sep 17, 2003 Location: NEW YORK Posts: 1,354	You crack me up
	__________________ LILFACE REST IN PEACE JOHN MAY YOU MAKE THE HEAVENS LAUGH AS YOU DID US. GOD BLESS YOU ALWAYS WE MISS YOU AND LOVE YOU WITH ALL OUR HEARTS