The Holidays Depress Me

[Nanny Fine]

I wonder if anyone else just can't get the holiday feeling?

I grew up in a family that did nothing but fight. They still do nothing but fight. I have no contact with my brother or sister, my father and I can barely sit in a room together. Everything with my mother is tense because of everything else wrong wtih my family.

WE dont get together on holidays. Any holidays. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter - nothing. There is no dinner had, no fun of any sort.

I cant' even tell you the last time I got a Christmas present or a Birthday Present. Mothers Day? You kidding me? I was told when my daughter is big enough to buy stuff for me on her own that's when I would start getting presents on those holidays. So these days come and go and I get nothing, not even a card.

I know it's not about what you get, but still. Doesn't everyone like to get SOMETHING? I never make out a Christmas wish list, no one ever asks what I want and it would be stupid to because I never get anything.

I'm a single parent and I struggle like mad to just make ends meet for my daughter and I. Providing Chrsitmas and Birthday's for her is also very difficult.

Now this year I've had to deal with my car stuff and today I got an eviction notice - I'm a complete loss.

It's not like I don't work or don't try. I just can't climb out of that hole and get on the other side.

Seeing commercials - even the cheesy Walmart Christmas commerc ials and stuff - just depresses the crap out of me. I have to decorate for Christmas soon and I just dont even want to bother. I have to for my daughter, I dont want her to grow up feeling like I do about holidays but it's insanely hard to decorate for something that makes you feel so depressed.

I dont really have anyone to talk to about this - my best friend comes from a family 100% completely opposite of mine. They live several hours away and she goes and spends a week with them - I can't even imagine.

So I wonder...is it just me that feels this way or are there other people out there who deal with this during holidays?

[EricIdlefan]

Originally posted by Nanny Fine
I wonder if anyone else just can't get the holiday feeling?

I grew up in a family that did nothing but fight. They still do nothing but fight. I have no contact with my brother or sister, my father and I can barely sit in a room together. Everything with my mother is tense because of everything else wrong wtih my family.

WE dont get together on holidays. Any holidays. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter - nothing. There is no dinner had, no fun of any sort.

I cant' even tell you the last time I got a Christmas present or a Birthday Present. Mothers Day? You kidding me? I was told when my daughter is big enough to buy stuff for me on her own that's when I would start getting presents on those holidays. So these days come and go and I get nothing, not even a card.

I know it's not about what you get, but still. Doesn't everyone like to get SOMETHING? I never make out a Christmas wish list, no one ever asks what I want and it would be stupid to because I never get anything.

I'm a single parent and I struggle like mad to just make ends meet for my daughter and I. Providing Chrsitmas and Birthday's for her is also very difficult.

Now this year I've had to deal with my car stuff and today I got an eviction notice - I'm a complete loss.

It's not like I don't work or don't try. I just can't climb out of that hole and get on the other side.

Seeing commercials - even the cheesy Walmart Christmas commerc ials and stuff - just depresses the crap out of me. I have to decorate for Christmas soon and I just dont even want to bother. I have to for my daughter, I dont want her to grow up feeling like I do about holidays but it's insanely hard to decorate for something that makes you feel so depressed.

I dont really have anyone to talk to about this - my best friend comes from a family 100% completely opposite of mine. They live several hours away and she goes and spends a week with them - I can't even imagine.

So I wonder...is it just me that feels this way or are there other people out there who deal with this during holidays?

I am really, really so, so, sorry about your situation with your family!! I will be praying for you and your family so that you all can have a much better, much with love and caring, holidays whether Easter, Thanksgiving, or Christmas or Birthdays!! My heart goes out to you!!

[David]

oh my gosh! im so sorry! I hope a miracle happens that will bring all of you together Im sorry that you cant enjoy it as much as other families. If reconciling with your family is impossible, I know a friend who just 'entered' another family, as a friend, and they were like family. (you know, kinda like Urkel on "Family Matters" or that neighbor on "Full House"), and that person usually spends family time with them. It's really nice.

But, I really hope something happens I dont want Christmas to be a bummer for you

[LILFACE23]

I'll be praying for you from now on that things go your way. I think you're doing the absolute right thing with your daughter. Showing her how the holidays can really be spent, with love and laughter and lots of hugs and kisses and even some presents.

It would be one thing if you still had the affection from your parents and didn't get presents. But to not have either, you poor thing.

Well, you can learn from your past and make yourself a whole new life by being the person, mother, and friend you want to be.

My heart goes out to you and your daughter. Just make sure you treat her with all the love only a mother can give, that's the greatest present of all.

[Jrnygrl]

I wish there was something I could do for you. All I can say is take care and hang in there. Like everyone else I will pray for you and your daughter. Just be good to your self, remember somewhere there is hope.

[MonarC]

My goes out to you.
I know it would be so hard for me if I didn't have anyone but my little daughter. I know it's hard but you have to be strong for your daughter. Maybe try going to a local house of worship. There you can find good honest people who love god and would love to help you, and talk to you and help make you feel better. I will also pray for you. And you should pray to god to give you strenght and help your family to open up their hearts to you and your daughter. But no matter how bad you think you have it there is someone out there who is in a worst situation...

[Pitooey]

Originally posted by MonarC
My goes out to you.
I know it would be so hard for me if I didn't have anyone but my little daughter. I know it's hard but you have to be strong for your daughter. Maybe try going to a local house of worship. There you can find good honest people who love god and would love to help you, and talk to you and help make you feel better. I will also pray for you. And you should pray to god to give you strenght and help your family to open up their hearts to you and your daughter. But no matter how bad you think you have it there is someone out there who is in a worst situation...

I couldn't of said it better myself. I use to be a single Mom so I know how hard it is. I would decorate and put on Christmas Carols for my son. I tried to give him a happy Christmas. I cooked a good Christmas meal for him and we would open our presents together.

Nanny I feel for you. I will pray to God that all goes well with you and your lovely daughter. You do have your SO family here.

[Mijada]

Originally posted by Nanny Fine
I wonder if anyone else just can't get the holiday feeling?

I grew up in a family that did nothing but fight. They still do nothing but fight. I have no contact with my brother or sister, my father and I can barely sit in a room together. Everything with my mother is tense because of everything else wrong wtih my family.

You've pretty much described my family. I have very little contact with them. The only family members I see at Christmas is my sister and her kids and they live an hour 1/2 away and the older her kids get and develop lives of their own, the less I see of them. I can't stand being around my mom for long periods of time. My dad does send me money at Christmas and birthdays but that is only because he feels guilty and is trying to make up for the times he was never around when I was growing up. So I understand your position and I sometimes get depressed around holidays too but you do have a daughter with you so try and get into the spirit for her. Take her to see Santa and let her help put decorations up. Enjoy her as much as you can now and be sure she is happy because before you know it she will be grown up and out of the house and you want her to look back on her childhood with fond memories not bitter ones.

[Polniaczek033]

my heart goes out to u nad ur family.. hopefully thisholiday season is different for you.. :/

[*Pleasant Tomorrow*]

I'm so sorry Remember, though, I always say that things can only get better

[LILFACE23]

Originally posted by Mijada
You've pretty much described my family. I have very little contact with them. The only family members I see at Christmas is my sister and her kids and they live an hour 1/2 away and the older her kids get and develop lives of their own, the less I see of them. I can't stand being around my mom for long periods of time. My dad does send me money at Christmas and birthdays but that is only because he feels guilty and is trying to make up for the times he was never around when I was growing up. So I understand your position and I sometimes get depressed around holidays too but you do have a daughter with you so try and get into the spirit for her. Take her to see Santa and let her help put decorations up. Enjoy her as much as you can now and be sure she is happy because before you know it she will be grown up and out of the house and you want her to look back on her childhood with fond memories not bitter ones.

AWE, that brought tears to my eyes...

[WrenCanada]

I am very sorry to hear about your situation. I will be praying for you.

[bandito]

Hang in there Nanny, things will get better just keep working hard at it.

[Nanny Fine]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts.

I am trying really hard for my daughters sake but really it's like an act.

We were going to decorate this weekend and I just couldn't do it. I'm going to try and do it over Thanksgiving.

Everyone out there who has a good solid family should say an extra thanks this Thanksgiving. There's lots of us out here that don't have that.

Thanks everyone

[MonarC]

your right Nanny sometimes we forget just how lucky someof us are to have family who we love and loves us back... I am very thankful. I hope you have a happy holiday with your daughter may god bless you both.