9.1 The Custody Battle - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

BeatleMoe · 10-15-2003, 07:35 PM

Special Guest Star JEAN SMART as CHARLENE STILLFIELD
Special Guest Star JULIA DUFFY as ALLISON SUGARBAKER

Scene starts out at Sugarbakers....
CARLENE: Charlene, did you watch the news last night?
CHARLENE: (Excited) Yes I did! Can you believe that right here in Atlanta that the cost of living is going sky high?
CARLENE: It is?
CHARLENE: Well sure, I mean it was on the news! Didn't you watch it?
CARLENE: No. That's why I asked you.
(Enters Suzanne and Allison)
ALLISON: You made such a buffoon out of yourself.
SUZANNE: Okay, come on Tinkerbell! I can't take you interrupting words for me!
MARY JO: That's "interpret", Suzanne.
SUZANNE: Oh, whatever! I can't stand this women sitting next to me, correcting me on my speech and how to get decorating jobs in this community. She is totally charm free!
ALLISON: Mary Jo, Suzanne doesn't know the first thing about speaking eloquently at important functions.
SUZANNE: This is the deal! We didn't get the job on the Harvard house because of her.
ALLISON: ME?!! It was because of you!
SUZANNE: We went to Lemierre's for lunch. And the waiter gives us our menus. And he was speaking this foreign language! I couldn't understand him. Then she ordered for me, and Mr. Harvard left!
ALLISON: Well, I ordered for you, because you screaming "How do you order a cheeseburger and fries in French!" Then, Mr. Harvard left the building.
CARLENE: I can't stand another person ordering my meat for me. Dwayne Dobber used to do that for me all the time!
(Enters Bernice and Julia)
JULIA: That's right, Bernice! Go upstairs and watch the Rockford Files!
CHARLENE: Julia, what happened?
ANTHONY (following Julia): She made another scene at the mall today. She walked out of JC Penny's with a negligee underneath her clothes.
MARY JO: Bernice does things like that all of the time.
ANTHONY: Well, I'm not finished yet Mary Jo. When the alarms went off, there was a black security guard there asking her to show him what she had. And she said in that tack voice, "Okay stuff, you're going to get what you asked for," and then she proceeded to peel of her clothes, just wearing the negligee only, and sang five choruses of "Black Man, Black Man" before she took off the rest of her clothes.
JULIA: I cannot take anymore of her eccentricies. I love her to death, but she has to move out.
MARY J0: Where are you going to send her?
BERNICE: I heard that sister! You've rumbled with me enough! And because of you sister, I am going to move out and stay with your sister!
SUZANNE: (Startled look) Oh, like hell you are! I am not taking in that fruitcake!
BERNICE: I will buy you the world!
SUZANNE: Aunt Bernice!
To be continued...

10-15-2003, 07:35 PM	#1
BeatleMoe Member Forum Regular Join Date: Sep 13, 2002 Location: Nashville TN Posts: 615	9.1 The Custody Battle Special Guest Star JEAN SMART as CHARLENE STILLFIELD Special Guest Star JULIA DUFFY as ALLISON SUGARBAKER Scene starts out at Sugarbakers.... CARLENE: Charlene, did you watch the news last night? CHARLENE: (Excited) Yes I did! Can you believe that right here in Atlanta that the cost of living is going sky high? CARLENE: It is? CHARLENE: Well sure, I mean it was on the news! Didn't you watch it? CARLENE: No. That's why I asked you. (Enters Suzanne and Allison) ALLISON: You made such a buffoon out of yourself. SUZANNE: Okay, come on Tinkerbell! I can't take you interrupting words for me! MARY JO: That's "interpret", Suzanne. SUZANNE: Oh, whatever! I can't stand this women sitting next to me, correcting me on my speech and how to get decorating jobs in this community. She is totally charm free! ALLISON: Mary Jo, Suzanne doesn't know the first thing about speaking eloquently at important functions. SUZANNE: This is the deal! We didn't get the job on the Harvard house because of her. ALLISON: ME?!! It was because of you! SUZANNE: We went to Lemierre's for lunch. And the waiter gives us our menus. And he was speaking this foreign language! I couldn't understand him. Then she ordered for me, and Mr. Harvard left! ALLISON: Well, I ordered for you, because you screaming "How do you order a cheeseburger and fries in French!" Then, Mr. Harvard left the building. CARLENE: I can't stand another person ordering my meat for me. Dwayne Dobber used to do that for me all the time! (Enters Bernice and Julia) JULIA: That's right, Bernice! Go upstairs and watch the Rockford Files! CHARLENE: Julia, what happened? ANTHONY (following Julia): She made another scene at the mall today. She walked out of JC Penny's with a negligee underneath her clothes. MARY JO: Bernice does things like that all of the time. ANTHONY: Well, I'm not finished yet Mary Jo. When the alarms went off, there was a black security guard there asking her to show him what she had. And she said in that tack voice, "Okay stuff, you're going to get what you asked for," and then she proceeded to peel of her clothes, just wearing the negligee only, and sang five choruses of "Black Man, Black Man" before she took off the rest of her clothes. JULIA: I cannot take anymore of her eccentricies. I love her to death, but she has to move out. MARY J0: Where are you going to send her? BERNICE: I heard that sister! You've rumbled with me enough! And because of you sister, I am going to move out and stay with your sister! SUZANNE: (Startled look) Oh, like hell you are! I am not taking in that fruitcake! BERNICE: I will buy you the world! SUZANNE: Aunt Bernice! To be continued...
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