Movie Cliches - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Rickenbacker · 08-27-2003, 10:48 AM

Some of these killed me!...

During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.

All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.

"I've gotta bad feeling about this!"

The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No-one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.

A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead.

If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.

Wearing a vest or stripping to the waist can make a man invulnerable to bullets.

If you find yourself caught up in a misunderstanding that could be cleared up quickly with a simple explanation, for goodness sake, keep your mouth shut.

Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

A cough is usually the sign of a terminal illness.

All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

When in love, it is customary to burst into song.

When confronted by an evil international terrorist, sarcasm and wisecracks are your best weapons.

One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them than 20 men firing at 1 man.

Creepy music coming from a cemetery should always be investigated more closely.

If being fired at by Germans, hide in a river - or even a bath. German bullets are unable to penetrate water.

Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

Freelance helicopter pilots are always eager to accept bookings from international terrorist organizations - even though the job will require them to shoot total strangers and will end in their own certain death as the helicopter explodes in a ball of flames.

Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper clippings - especially if any of their family or friends have died in a strange boating accident.

All computer disks will work in all computers, regardless of software.

Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste by their actions.

You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

You can tell if somebody is British because he will be wearing a bow tie.

When driving a car it is normal to look not at the road but at the person sitting beside you or in the back seat for the entire journey.

An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight year old child.

Having a job of any kind will make fathers forget their son's eighth birthday.

Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.

If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert in Nuclear Fission at age 22.

The more a man and a woman hate each other, the more likely they will fall in love.

"Is this somebody's idea of a JOKE?!"

Any more that aren't up there?

Swimfan85 · 08-27-2003, 11:30 AM

I cant think of anymore right now, but I saw those, its really funny!!!

Penny Lane · 08-27-2003, 12:00 PM

Very good Rickenbacker!

dlemond · 08-27-2003, 01:37 PM

The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment you turn on the set

A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations.

Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.

Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it.

If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition, even if you haven't been carrying any before now.

It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

Breeding is genetically possible between humans and virtually any creature from elsewhere in the universe.

When paying for a taxi, don’t look into your purse or wallet as you remove cash - just grab some bills and hand 'em over. It will always be the exact fare.

When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

Large loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people - whether they are employed or not.

All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.

Brian Damage · 08-27-2003, 01:48 PM

Very good dlemond

Rickenbacker · 08-27-2003, 01:57 PM

Good ones!

webuster · 08-27-2003, 04:51 PM

Television stations always have a 'W' in the title.

Any strange transformation is always explained by nuclear waste

To make a person seem smart in a film, just hgave them talk real fast and say words like 'forcefield' 'terminate' 'operation' and 'processing'.

Someone always has to hurt themselves while trying to escape, and always say to 'go without them'- and at these scenes the thing after them running at 200mph seems to slow down

Quiet women always hit someone in a movie, near the end

webuster · 08-27-2003, 05:06 PM

When the stereotypical gay man is talking on a phone or is overwhelmed by something his mouth hangs open, and he usually calls someone called Barbera- in some odd, effeminate male new york gangster way 'bawbwa!!!'

The bad guy always reveals his plan to the hero, while the hero is getting away.

The hero always goes back to some dangerous place on his own when he knows he's surrounded by people wanting to kill him.

TJL · 08-27-2003, 05:54 PM

Every movie detective is divorced, behind on his alimony, lives in a messy apartment with no food in the fridge, drives a beat up classic car and is hated by his Captain.

If you’re Meg Ryan, you’re always dating/engaged to an obnoxious, mean, or annoying guy. Why wouldn’t she fall for Tom Hanks??

It apparently takes very little to turn a regular guy who is an expert in technology into a homicidal madman who loves to take hostages and blow stuff up.

Cab drivers are always that fat cigar chomping white guy with a newsboy cap and a New Yawk accent.

And they still drive the fifties style Checker cabs.

On every crowded bus, subway platform, or line, there is always a guy wearing a construction hat.

Staring out a window watching the rain while the soundtrack plays means you’re falling in love with the person you’ve hated for the entire movie.

Rickenbacker · 08-27-2003, 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by TJL
Every movie detective is divorced, behind on his alimony, lives in a messy apartment with no food in the fridge, drives a beat up classic car and is hated by his Captain.

Cab drivers are always that fat cigar chomping white guy with a newsboy cap and a New Yawk accent.

On every crowded bus, subway platform, or line, there is always a guy wearing a construction hat.

LMAO!!

I'm lovin' these!

Penny Lane · 08-27-2003, 07:22 PM

[QUOTE][i]

Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment you turn on the set

Shades of Gilligan's Island?

Rickenbacker · 10-23-2003, 07:33 AM

Sorry- I just hadda dredge this one back up because I saw another one on tv last night.

During every car chase, one car must inevitably hit a fruit stand!

webuster · 10-23-2003, 01:20 PM

When there's a school play- it's either about American President's or it's a ballet- and the main character's kid is always playing a plant.

08-27-2003, 10:48 AM	#1
Rickenbacker Member Forum Regular Join Date: Jan 15, 2003 Location: NYC Posts: 507	Movie Cliches Some of these killed me!... During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once. All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her. "I've gotta bad feeling about this!" The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No-one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. Kitchens don't have light switches. When entering a kitchen at night, you should open the fridge door and use that light instead. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear. Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames. Wearing a vest or stripping to the waist can make a man invulnerable to bullets. If you find yourself caught up in a misunderstanding that could be cleared up quickly with a simple explanation, for goodness sake, keep your mouth shut. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant. A cough is usually the sign of a terminal illness. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off. When in love, it is customary to burst into song. When confronted by an evil international terrorist, sarcasm and wisecracks are your best weapons. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them than 20 men firing at 1 man. Creepy music coming from a cemetery should always be investigated more closely. If being fired at by Germans, hide in a river - or even a bath. German bullets are unable to penetrate water. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization. Freelance helicopter pilots are always eager to accept bookings from international terrorist organizations - even though the job will require them to shoot total strangers and will end in their own certain death as the helicopter explodes in a ball of flames. Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper clippings - especially if any of their family or friends have died in a strange boating accident. All computer disks will work in all computers, regardless of software. Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other. Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste by their actions. You can always find a chainsaw when you need one. Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds - unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside. You can tell if somebody is British because he will be wearing a bow tie. When driving a car it is normal to look not at the road but at the person sitting beside you or in the back seat for the entire journey. An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight year old child. Having a job of any kind will make fathers forget their son's eighth birthday. Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert in Nuclear Fission at age 22. The more a man and a woman hate each other, the more likely they will fall in love. "Is this somebody's idea of a JOKE?!" Any more that aren't up there?

08-27-2003, 12:00 PM	#3
Penny Lane Butter Pie Forum Icon Join Date: Jul 03, 2001 Location: Beneath the blue suburban skies Posts: 51,231	Very good Rickenbacker!
	__________________ Vulgarity is no substitute for wit- Lady Violet Crawley

08-27-2003, 01:37 PM	#4
dlemond Hey, I know you. Moderator Forum Veteran Join Date: Dec 03, 2001 Location: New Jersey Posts: 6,751	The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment you turn on the set A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty. It is not necessary to say hello or goodbye when beginning or ending phone conversations. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving. Mothers routinely cook eggs, bacon and waffles for their family every morning even though their husband and children never have time to eat it. If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition, even if you haven't been carrying any before now. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down. Breeding is genetically possible between humans and virtually any creature from elsewhere in the universe. When paying for a taxi, don’t look into your purse or wallet as you remove cash - just grab some bills and hand 'em over. It will always be the exact fare. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish. Large loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people - whether they are employed or not. All grocery bags contain at least one stick of French Bread.
	__________________ Michael

08-27-2003, 05:54 PM	#9
TJL Suburbanite Extrordinaire Forum Star Join Date: Dec 29, 2001 Location: New Jersey - the cradle of civilization Posts: 16,588	Every movie detective is divorced, behind on his alimony, lives in a messy apartment with no food in the fridge, drives a beat up classic car and is hated by his Captain. If you’re Meg Ryan, you’re always dating/engaged to an obnoxious, mean, or annoying guy. Why wouldn’t she fall for Tom Hanks?? It apparently takes very little to turn a regular guy who is an expert in technology into a homicidal madman who loves to take hostages and blow stuff up. Cab drivers are always that fat cigar chomping white guy with a newsboy cap and a New Yawk accent. And they still drive the fifties style Checker cabs. On every crowded bus, subway platform, or line, there is always a guy wearing a construction hat. Staring out a window watching the rain while the soundtrack plays means you’re falling in love with the person you’ve hated for the entire movie.
	__________________ "I think I'll stroll up to the front to see how the shooting's going..." - Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce Read my blogs! http://centralparkamisguide.com/ http://dvdcriticscorner.com Visit me on Facebook!http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=641138880 Hey, I do the tweet thing too! http://twitter.com/TomLevier My shop of handmade items! http://www.etsy.com/shop/ColdGarageCreations

08-27-2003, 11:30 AM	#2
Swimfan85 Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Jul 04, 2001 Posts: 7,030	I cant think of anymore right now, but I saw those, its really funny!!!

08-27-2003, 01:48 PM	#5
Brian Damage I'm Rich Bitch Forum Icon Join Date: Feb 03, 2002 Location: What Ain't No Country I Ever Heard Of...They Speak English in What? Posts: 63,107	Very good dlemond

08-27-2003, 01:57 PM	#6
Rickenbacker Member Forum Regular Join Date: Jan 15, 2003 Location: NYC Posts: 507	Good ones!

08-27-2003, 04:51 PM	#7
webuster Member Senior Member Join Date: Aug 26, 2002 Posts: 2,150	Television stations always have a 'W' in the title. Any strange transformation is always explained by nuclear waste To make a person seem smart in a film, just hgave them talk real fast and say words like 'forcefield' 'terminate' 'operation' and 'processing'. Someone always has to hurt themselves while trying to escape, and always say to 'go without them'- and at these scenes the thing after them running at 200mph seems to slow down Quiet women always hit someone in a movie, near the end

08-27-2003, 05:06 PM	#8
webuster Member Senior Member Join Date: Aug 26, 2002 Posts: 2,150	When the stereotypical gay man is talking on a phone or is overwhelmed by something his mouth hangs open, and he usually calls someone called Barbera- in some odd, effeminate male new york gangster way 'bawbwa!!!' The bad guy always reveals his plan to the hero, while the hero is getting away. The hero always goes back to some dangerous place on his own when he knows he's surrounded by people wanting to kill him.

08-27-2003, 07:22 PM	#11
Penny Lane Butter Pie Forum Icon Join Date: Jul 03, 2001 Location: Beneath the blue suburban skies Posts: 51,231	[QUOTE][i] Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment you turn on the set Shades of Gilligan's Island?

10-23-2003, 07:33 AM	#12
Rickenbacker Member Forum Regular Join Date: Jan 15, 2003 Location: NYC Posts: 507	Sorry- I just hadda dredge this one back up because I saw another one on tv last night. During every car chase, one car must inevitably hit a fruit stand!

10-23-2003, 01:20 PM	#13
webuster Member Senior Member Join Date: Aug 26, 2002 Posts: 2,150	When there's a school play- it's either about American President's or it's a ballet- and the main character's kid is always playing a plant.