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JoJoJoJoJoJoJoJoJo · 08-04-2003, 09:32 AM

How's about yuns help me w/ some advice i'm suppose to give to a friend.. heres her situation....

She's been dating her boyfriend for like, 6 months now. They have both gotten really close, and honestly feel that they are meant to be together. They both understand that they are going to wait until she gets out of college (she's 2 years younger than him) and there both really level headed and aren't two stupid kids that wanna run off and get married tommorow. Right now it's summer, and they've been spending all of their free time together, pretty much if you don't see one w/ the other you should worry. Now heres the problem... her mom keeps harrassing her about how she's "worried about you two spending so much time together" and keeps asking her over and over if "he's harrassing you to get married.. it's just as important for a woman to get a college degree as a man". Now my friend has told her mom over and over and over that he isn't harrasing her, which he isn't. It's like she doesn't belive her. He is very very supportive of all of my friends college decisions and etc. How should my friend approach her mom?

Speak amongst yourselves....

¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ · 08-04-2003, 11:30 AM

Hmm.. has her mother met her boyfriend yet? If not, why dont she introduce them so they can meet eachother. Maybe your friend and her boyfriend can give eachother some space? Like if they go out to eat 4 times a week, make it three. Have her sit down with her mother and explain that hes not harassing her into anything and she WANTS to finish college before settling down- they only spend time together because they love eachother.

AllIWantIsYourClutch · 08-04-2003, 12:37 PM

Yah I would say that he should meet her mom and just tell her that he supports her and blah blah blah.

DTP · 08-04-2003, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Now my friend has told her mom over and over and over that he isn't harrasing her, which he isn't.

It seems like she has already approached her mother. Her best bet is to ignore her mother and "go with the flow". It would be great for her boyfriend to have a one on one conversation with both her parents over dinner. If that doesn't work then nothing will unless down the road he just "grows on them"; and they still may not like him. They might just put up with him just to please each other. I've never been in that situation. Hope I never will too.

Kay Scarpetta · 08-04-2003, 02:04 PM

Hmm... I say you have the boyfriend and the mother sit down alone and talk about it. Have him talk to her (in a calm, reassuring way, that is) that he's not pressuring her into marrying him and that they really love eachother. He should bring up significant points, like how important it really is for her to get a college degree and that he is supporting her 100%.

dawsongirl · 08-04-2003, 09:49 PM

Oh man...that would make me so mad if my mom said that to me. It's like she doesn't trust me or my boyfriend.

But I agree with everyone that said the boyfriend and the mom should talk. If the mom doesn't believe her daughter about the boy, maybe she'll believe the boy.

JoJoJoJoJoJoJoJoJo · 08-04-2003, 11:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ¤MsConanOBrien¤
Hmm.. has her mother met her boyfriend yet? If not, why dont she introduce them so they can meet eachother. Maybe your friend and her boyfriend can give eachother some space? Like if they go out to eat 4 times a week, make it three. Have her sit down with her mother and explain that hes not harassing her into anything and she WANTS to finish college before settling down- they only spend time together because they love eachother.

Yes, the boyfriend and mother met on the second date, he met her father too. (Dad really seems to like him)

This is my friends' (both of them are my buds) situation.. they belive there meant to be together, as in marriage, so therefore, why would they want a break from each other? You can't do that when your married. And they really really love each other, they don't seem to get sick of each other at all.

Thanks everyone for the advice... the word shall be spread

08-04-2003, 09:32 AM	#1
JoJoJoJoJoJoJoJoJo A and J Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: May 31, 2001 Location: .S.C. Posts: 3,070	Friends situation... How's about yuns help me w/ some advice i'm suppose to give to a friend.. heres her situation.... She's been dating her boyfriend for like, 6 months now. They have both gotten really close, and honestly feel that they are meant to be together. They both understand that they are going to wait until she gets out of college (she's 2 years younger than him) and there both really level headed and aren't two stupid kids that wanna run off and get married tommorow. Right now it's summer, and they've been spending all of their free time together, pretty much if you don't see one w/ the other you should worry. Now heres the problem... her mom keeps harrassing her about how she's "worried about you two spending so much time together" and keeps asking her over and over if "he's harrassing you to get married.. it's just as important for a woman to get a college degree as a man". Now my friend has told her mom over and over and over that he isn't harrasing her, which he isn't. It's like she doesn't belive her. He is very very supportive of all of my friends college decisions and etc. How should my friend approach her mom? Speak amongst yourselves....
	__________________

08-04-2003, 11:30 AM	#2
¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ MISS APRIL Forum Addict Join Date: Jul 19, 2001 Location: Parsonsfield ME Shaws - Screwing my way up the employment ladder! Posts: 68,780	Hmm.. has her mother met her boyfriend yet? If not, why dont she introduce them so they can meet eachother. Maybe your friend and her boyfriend can give eachother some space? Like if they go out to eat 4 times a week, make it three. Have her sit down with her mother and explain that hes not harassing her into anything and she WANTS to finish college before settling down- they only spend time together because they love eachother.
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08-04-2003, 02:04 PM	#5
Kay Scarpetta Defy Gravity 8.26.05 Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 04, 2001 Location: La Vie Boheme Posts: 28,013	Hmm... I say you have the boyfriend and the mother sit down alone and talk about it. Have him talk to her (in a calm, reassuring way, that is) that he's not pressuring her into marrying him and that they really love eachother. He should bring up significant points, like how important it really is for her to get a college degree and that he is supporting her 100%.
	__________________ The people who think they know everything about Broadway make me laugh. They've never seen a Broadway play in their life. "oh mi godddd RENT's a mooovie! lyke 525600 minuuuuuuutes!" No. To be a Broadway Freak, you must live, eat, sleep, study, devout, think, obsess, dream, believe Broadway. You must know original & revival casts, soundtracks, performance runs, dates, theatres, numbers, how many Tony Awards A Chorus Line won. You must be Broadway. That's right bitches. I AM Broadway.

08-04-2003, 12:37 PM	#3
AllIWantIsYourClutch peaceout. Forum Icon Join Date: Aug 02, 2001 Location: Illinois. Posts: 53,424	Yah I would say that he should meet her mom and just tell her that he supports her and blah blah blah.

08-04-2003, 09:49 PM	#6
dawsongirl Member Forum Icon Join Date: Jan 04, 2001 Posts: 53,140	Oh man...that would make me so mad if my mom said that to me. It's like she doesn't trust me or my boyfriend. But I agree with everyone that said the boyfriend and the mom should talk. If the mom doesn't believe her daughter about the boy, maybe she'll believe the boy.