TJL's Hollywood Crapola - 8/3 - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

TJL · 08-03-2003, 09:58 PM

DEMI MOORE TO CLONE YOUNG BOYFRIENDS

Riding high from her comeback in the Summer smash “Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle,” and grabbing headlines with her young studly boyfriends, Demi Moore is now using science to keep her datebook filled for years to come.

Moore, who is dating Ashton Kutcher, a guy nearly 15 years her junior, has just completed construction of a high tech genetics laboratory on her Idaho ranch, where scientists are now cloning a stable of hot boytoys to squire her around tinstletown.

“Demi likes em young, virile and stupid, so we are carefully encoding each clone with just such features,” a scientist at the lab stated in a recent interview. “We are also factoring in other genetic traits she admires in attractive Hollywood heartthrobs. Colin Farell’s eyes, Matt Damon’s smile, Keanu Reeve’s incredible feeling of self importance. These traits are crucial when you need arm candy for the MTV Video Music Awards.”

Moore promises that all of her man clones will not only be easy on the eyes, but safe for the environment.

“They’re all completely biodegradable,” she beamed as she showed off her newest model, a blonde hunk with Josh Hartnett’s chin and Johnny Depp’s bored stare. “When I’m done with him, I just flush him down the toilet. What could be simpler?”

Scientist and genetic researchers are hoping this will put an end to a problem that has been plaguing A list Actresses for many years; ugly husbands, otherwise known as Kate Hudson Syndrome.

Janice · 08-03-2003, 10:21 PM

....or the Julia/Lovett Syndrome.
Very funny TJL. Did you write that?

PashminaDietrich · 08-03-2003, 10:29 PM

But, hey, it's not a bad idea. I ought to put in an order one of these days! (Trouble is, my guy-clones would have to actually use that thing between their ears. Oh, well, back to the ol' drawing board...)

Pitooey · 08-03-2003, 10:35 PM

Imagine that? I could see her flushing them down too. They would probably all be in a clone closet or something.

Kay Scarpetta · 08-03-2003, 11:47 PM

very good TJL

TJL · 08-03-2003, 11:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Janice
....or the Julia/Lovett Syndrome.
Very funny TJL. Did you write that?

Yes. I was very bored this evening, and I couldn't find any real showbiz articles to make fun of, so I decided to make one up.

I wonder if IMDB would like a copy...

Cactus Jack · 08-03-2003, 11:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by TJL
DEMI MOORE TO CLONE YOUNG BOYFRIENDS

Riding high from her comeback in the Summer smash “Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle,” and grabbing headlines with her young studly boyfriends, Demi Moore is now using science to keep her datebook filled for years to come.

Moore, who is dating Ashton Kutcher, a guy nearly 15 years her junior, has just completed construction of a high tech genetics laboratory on her Idaho ranch, where scientists are now cloning a stable of hot boytoys to squire her around tinstletown.

“Demi likes em young, virile and stupid, so we are carefully encoding each clone with just such features,” a scientist at the lab stated in a recent interview. “We are also factoring in other genetic traits she admires in attractive Hollywood heartthrobs. Colin Farell’s eyes, Matt Damon’s smile, Keanu Reeve’s incredible feeling of self importance. These traits are crucial when you need arm candy for the MTV Video Music Awards.”

Moore promises that all of her man clones will not only be easy on the eyes, but safe for the environment.

“They’re all completely biodegradable,” she beamed as she showed off her newest model, a blonde hunk with Josh Hartnett’s chin and Johnny Depp’s bored stare. “When I’m done with him, I just flush him down the toilet. What could be simpler?”

Scientist and genetic researchers are hoping this will put an end to a problem that has been plaguing A list Actresses for many years; ugly husbands, otherwise known as Kate Hudson Syndrome.

YoliUSA · 08-03-2003, 11:59 PM

dawsongirl · 08-04-2003, 03:36 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by TJL
Scientist and genetic researchers are hoping this will put an end to a problem that has been plaguing A list Actresses for many years; ugly husbands, otherwise known as Kate Hudson Syndrome.

Rockapella722 · 08-04-2003, 11:48 AM

good, one.

i only dis-approve of two couples in hollywood. her and ashton, and j.lo and ben. but, y'know, j.lo and ben will be over in a year anyway.

PashminaDietrich · 08-04-2003, 12:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Rockapella722

i only dis-approve of two couples in hollywood. her and ashton, and j.lo and ben. but, y'know, j.lo and ben will be over in a year anyway.

[/B]

A year? Aren't we being generous. I give it six months.

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"Clad in a pink scarf and a tan sundress, armed with an appreciation of cute things, a wit dry enough to peel paint, and a near-encyclopedic knowledge of pop culture, PashyDee attempts to make her way in a world that seems to run counter to good will and common sense. Most of the time, though, she's as serious as a Hollywood marriage ... "

08-03-2003, 09:58 PM	#1
TJL Suburbanite Extrordinaire Forum Star Join Date: Dec 29, 2001 Location: New Jersey - the cradle of civilization Posts: 16,588	TJL's Hollywood Crapola - 8/3 DEMI MOORE TO CLONE YOUNG BOYFRIENDS Riding high from her comeback in the Summer smash “Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle,” and grabbing headlines with her young studly boyfriends, Demi Moore is now using science to keep her datebook filled for years to come. Moore, who is dating Ashton Kutcher, a guy nearly 15 years her junior, has just completed construction of a high tech genetics laboratory on her Idaho ranch, where scientists are now cloning a stable of hot boytoys to squire her around tinstletown. “Demi likes em young, virile and stupid, so we are carefully encoding each clone with just such features,” a scientist at the lab stated in a recent interview. “We are also factoring in other genetic traits she admires in attractive Hollywood heartthrobs. Colin Farell’s eyes, Matt Damon’s smile, Keanu Reeve’s incredible feeling of self importance. These traits are crucial when you need arm candy for the MTV Video Music Awards.” Moore promises that all of her man clones will not only be easy on the eyes, but safe for the environment. “They’re all completely biodegradable,” she beamed as she showed off her newest model, a blonde hunk with Josh Hartnett’s chin and Johnny Depp’s bored stare. “When I’m done with him, I just flush him down the toilet. What could be simpler?” Scientist and genetic researchers are hoping this will put an end to a problem that has been plaguing A list Actresses for many years; ugly husbands, otherwise known as Kate Hudson Syndrome.
	__________________ "I think I'll stroll up to the front to see how the shooting's going..." - Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce Read my blogs! http://centralparkamisguide.com/ http://dvdcriticscorner.com Visit me on Facebook!http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=641138880 Hey, I do the tweet thing too! http://twitter.com/TomLevier My shop of handmade items! http://www.etsy.com/shop/ColdGarageCreations

08-03-2003, 10:35 PM	#4
Pitooey Member Forum Star Join Date: Feb 15, 2001 Location: Rocking in Transylvania. Posts: 15,042	Imagine that? I could see her flushing them down too. They would probably all be in a clone closet or something.
	__________________ Pitooey... AKA JennyLee - I love the Monkees all over again! *SAY NO TO DRUGS* Jesus saves...

08-03-2003, 11:47 PM	#5
Kay Scarpetta Defy Gravity 8.26.05 Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 04, 2001 Location: La Vie Boheme Posts: 28,013	very good TJL
	__________________ The people who think they know everything about Broadway make me laugh. They've never seen a Broadway play in their life. "oh mi godddd RENT's a mooovie! lyke 525600 minuuuuuuutes!" No. To be a Broadway Freak, you must live, eat, sleep, study, devout, think, obsess, dream, believe Broadway. You must know original & revival casts, soundtracks, performance runs, dates, theatres, numbers, how many Tony Awards A Chorus Line won. You must be Broadway. That's right bitches. I AM Broadway.

08-03-2003, 11:59 PM	#8
YoliUSA Fan of the Classics Forum Veteran Join Date: Jun 13, 2002 Location: In a galaxy far, far away... Posts: 5,290
	__________________ "All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them". ~Walt Disney "Sometimes I just don't understand human behavior"- C-3PO My DVD's

08-04-2003, 11:48 AM	#10
Rockapella722 .B.A.D.G.E.R. .G.I.R.L. Senior Member Join Date: Oct 28, 2001 Location: Madison, WI Posts: 1,489	good, one. i only dis-approve of two couples in hollywood. her and ashton, and j.lo and ben. but, y'know, j.lo and ben will be over in a year anyway.
	__________________ ...Queer Eye For The Straight Guy... "You guys, look. This is my pile of stuff I don't like..... is it getting too big?" -Thom Filicia \| livejournal \| email \|

08-03-2003, 10:21 PM	#2
Janice Retired Admin - Hollywood Swingin' Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 03, 2001 Location: Beantown Posts: 36,388	....or the Julia/Lovett Syndrome. Very funny TJL. Did you write that?

08-03-2003, 10:29 PM	#3
PashminaDietrich Oh no, she's baaack Senior Member Join Date: Jul 20, 2003 Location: north of Arlen, south of Southfork, and stuck in the middle with you... Posts: 1,733	But, hey, it's not a bad idea. I ought to put in an order one of these days! (Trouble is, my guy-clones would have to actually use that thing between their ears. Oh, well, back to the ol' drawing board...)