TZ Fanfic - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Zone1 · 07-24-2003, 10:59 PM

( Any similarities to any names or situations is a coincidence, albeit it may seem" Steel" - esque or " Big Tall Wish" -esque, which was not intentional)
----------------------------------------------------------
The Dark Fight -----

Scene: A smoky backroom of a sports arena: A large man sits on a massage table, his manager is bandaging his hands, while his son is lacing his shiney black boots.

Manager: Excellent work, DB, you took down the' Blue Dog ' in no time, you are the best,my man.

The large man ( aka DB) : You taught me to be the best, VT, understand son, to beat the best you must be the best. (the large man the whispered :May not be original, but its so correct.)

Son: Yes sir, I will be the best. ( The eyes of the boy narrows, determination is written on his face.)

DB: Good, Don't let me down, maverick ( sons name).
The large man looks at his son in new respect.

The camera pulls to a brick wall, in walks the narrator in a black suit, cigarette in one hand, he narrates:

Meet Dillon Briksman aka 'Sir Preme' , an old school wrestler, he has been in the business since he was a kid,he has beaten everyone in his path, now he will enter the ring of .... the Twilight Zone....
----------------------

Maverick ( the son) : Dad,I am going to start in the Minor Leagues (ML) wrestling, what do you think?

Dillon: I am 100% behind it, VT ( Vick Tory) can help you be the best, make me proud, boy.

Maverick: Thanks, Dad, I am all over it.

Maverick leaves, and signs up for the ML program, he trains for his fights, he goes by the unoriginal name of 'The Maverick'. He,'The Maverick" is successful in all his fights, which, many years later, helps him work up to the major leagues.
On entering the Major leagues, Maverick is told to don a black mask and go by the unoriginal name of 'Mask Black'. His father
( Dillon Briksman) was too busy with his own career to know this (ok, this may be a streeecth).

The two men are now in the wrestling ring together, the bell sounds, the two go at it, its a grueling match, the father is past his prime, but considerably larger and more experienced then his son, yet his son is in his prime(peak), he is quicker and more agile. The father 'Sir Preme' was gaining the upper hand by multiple body slams on the boy 'Black mask'. (The two exchange garbled words of self promotion. " I 'm da bess", " No one kin bead me", etc...)
Then the tables turned, 'Black Mask', the son, has 'Sir Preme ', his dad, in a boston crab, the father is hurting for along time, it looks like this is it for 'Sir Preme", but the father breaks the hold.
The father tries multiple attacks on 'Mask Black', all unsuccessful. His son is beating him and 'Sir Preme', the father, does not even know it.
"Black Mask",the son, throws "Sir Preme",the father, on the floor, the son goes for a 3 count several times but only gets 2, almost 3, the father is spent and he is shocked, this has never happened, no one came this close to beating him.
Thus,in a last ditch effort, the father collects enough adrenaline to do a mad clothesline on the boy,'Mask Black'. Is 'All- or- none' the father thinks to himself, somehow the father does it, and the boy is down, 1- 2- 3 its over.

-----------------------------------------------
More to come sooooon

BRY, I did not think of adding professional wrestlers/etc.., do u do that? cool, so BRY, what do u think? I hope to read some of your work soon

Zone1 · 07-25-2003, 06:37 AM

Maverick ( the son) is on the floor, gasping for air, his father ( DB)is hovering over him, and looks down, he decides to remove the mask, the boy gives no resistance, the father looks on his sons face, aghast. He is devastated.

Maverick ( the son): I failed you, dad, I am not the best, I failed...
(He is bleeding severely, he is badly bruised, and is trying to breath, his eyes are watery......)

The Father( is on his knees next to his son, his dark eyes fill with tears, he looks down at the boy and says):

" No son, I failed you.... ...I failed you...I failed.. you...."

( The two are in the center of the stage, the father holds the boy in his arms, they are now in the spotlight, a stretcher comes to take the boy to the hospital, all else is black)

RS narration >>>>>>>>>

To exceed is excellent, yet the lesson here tonight is that we must not create impossible expectations, that may only lead to another path or to here.... in the Twillight Zone.....

(Pls comment/critique, thanx)
BRY: if u have any wrestling terms I should, give it up

Peace

bry · 07-25-2003, 04:43 PM

hey, that's a pretty good story!!
you tricked me though. i thought the son was gonna play the father like in johnny cash's video "the baron" where the son he deserted years earlier challenged him to billiards. the boy was losing it all and put his mothers wedding ring on the table. that's when the baron realized it was his wife's. and he was his son. as he was ready to beat the boy, the forgiving wife placed her hand on his as he aimed. the baron picked up the ball and put it o the shelf. and they lived happily ever after.
BTW, marty stuart played the son and of course, June was the wife.
see the connection? close.

grap terminology worked well with your story.
creative slump right now with the on going stories here.

again, good stuff ZZ.

Zone1 · 07-25-2003, 07:49 PM

Thanks BRY, I appreciate your comments alot.

I hope your writers block ends soooon. Maybe u could direct me to some of your older stuff. I love your hard boiled add ons to my story, thanks.

Just one Q, do u think it would be more effective if the boy dies? I did not want to offend to many ppls sensibilities, thats why I used this ending.

And thanks for the heads up on Johnny Cash, I will have to check that out, hes a great dresser IMHO .

Mr. Z

bry · 07-26-2003, 12:22 AM

yeah all the great heroes wear black.
johnny cash
hop a long cassidy
darth vader

Zone1 · 07-27-2003, 07:22 AM

Bry, I agree 100%, black rules

Good guys/vigilantes in black rule too:
The Shadow ( pulp/comic character/radio drama/movie character)
Pulp Fiction/ Reservoir Dogs ( Tarantino Movies)
etc.............

So, everyone pls post your fanfic here, I hope u liked mine if not tell me what u would change, thanx

Mr Z

bry · 07-28-2003, 12:30 AM

the maverick awakes. darkness is all around. he comes to slowly. in a daze he fights to open his eyes.
thinking to himself, "ok. i'm awake. so i must be alive. only...that must have been a dream. another dream. dad died 14 years ago when i strangled him. another dream. same dream every time. but we are different people each time. if only he hadn't been so forceful in making me follow in his footsteps. i never wanted to be an actor. but he made me!!!..."
then a woman comes in "your sleep therepists are meeting about your latest tests." "thanks ma." "but something happened today.." "what ma, what happened? ya gotta tell me."
nervously, her face changes to one of concern to one of a coniving smirk. " this time, you did it. you did what i wondered about all along. i knew your father didn't hang himself. and now i know...you killed your father!!!"
"what..how?"
"while you were asleep, you wrote out a complete confession of what you did. in detail. you killed my husband! you sentenced me to a life alone. and for that you will pay!" as she lunges for him, the medics pull her off her son.

the doctors examine his confession with the police and criminal psychologists. and arrest him.

RS: picture if a man with a problem, a problem he wanted to get away from so he seeked out professioal help. but he learned one thing that most of us will never find out. tonight he learned that when you ask about questions you have in the night, that you may find all your answers, and others may find out yours. ...in the twilight zone.

alternate ending.

Zone1 · 08-05-2003, 07:38 PM

BRY, Great add on , it is a perfect ending too ( It reminds me of " Perchance to Dream" allittle, cooool)

I liked your RS outro alot, I like when an ep is psychological, sometimes guilt makes us think strange things.

Thanx, pleasure reading it

bry · 08-06-2003, 06:07 PM

thanks pal. that's the best i could come up with. hope it was suitable.

Zone1 · 08-09-2003, 05:55 PM

BRY,

I like both endings. I was thinking for my ending, the boy dies, it would have been very tragic.

I like your ending alot, it is cool to examine ppls inner demons. Also a tragic ending, even though he is arrested, the pain they must endure,these types are very effective in literature.
From Shakespeare to today, writers seem to strive for that, cool)

Maybe we will try our hands at a new piece of tragic fanfic, or whatever.

I would love to do a parallel universe story, and some political tales, maybe later ( when I have more time).
What do u think?

Again great work, thanx

Mr Z

bry · 08-09-2003, 10:31 PM

parallels on what kind of topics? that may be interesting.

Zone1 · 08-10-2003, 07:28 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by bry
parallels on what kind of topics? that may be interesting.

us
Not sure yet, but like u I love da concept. Sorry, maybe we can mess around with the evil twin ideal ( like in soaps or Star Trek).

Not sure, sorry. Maybe it will be an analysis of one twin here vs over there in twin world ( it could be political, ) fill u in later sorry

Mr Z
Thanx

bry · 08-10-2003, 01:00 PM

i guess we could do a story on me running for congress like i always wanted to. i could get a date if i was a congressman, take what i wanted from her, kill at a bridge, and still keep my job 30 years later.
that's not funny. it's sad but true.
but i have seen myself running for the big offices. and what would happen. maybe that's an idea?

Zone1 · 08-10-2003, 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by bry
i guess we could do a story on me running for congress like i always wanted to. i could get a date if i was a congressman, take what i wanted from her, kill at a bridge, and still keep my job 30 years later.
that's not funny. it's sad but true.
but i have seen myself running for the big offices. and what would happen. maybe that's an idea?

You would be an honest caring politician, we need more of that. Someone who will look out for us

Maybe, we can do it Obsolete Man style,that is, A broader study of politics.:: perhaps it abt a leader and his parallel universe self ( who represents their govts), One make good decisions, the other is more sinister. Pls give me more suggestions, I like them, thanx. If u really want to be the star, go for it. cool

So what do u think, Maybe we should start a new thread, if u think this one is too long. U can start a new one if u like,

C u later

Mr Z

07-24-2003, 10:59 PM	#1
Zone1 Member Occasional Poster Join Date: Jun 17, 2003 Location: USA Posts: 71	TZ Fanfic ( Any similarities to any names or situations is a coincidence, albeit it may seem" Steel" - esque or " Big Tall Wish" -esque, which was not intentional) ---------------------------------------------------------- The Dark Fight ----- Scene: A smoky backroom of a sports arena: A large man sits on a massage table, his manager is bandaging his hands, while his son is lacing his shiney black boots. Manager: Excellent work, DB, you took down the' Blue Dog ' in no time, you are the best,my man. The large man ( aka DB) : You taught me to be the best, VT, understand son, to beat the best you must be the best. (the large man the whispered :May not be original, but its so correct.) Son: Yes sir, I will be the best. ( The eyes of the boy narrows, determination is written on his face.) DB: Good, Don't let me down, maverick ( sons name). The large man looks at his son in new respect. The camera pulls to a brick wall, in walks the narrator in a black suit, cigarette in one hand, he narrates: Meet Dillon Briksman aka 'Sir Preme' , an old school wrestler, he has been in the business since he was a kid,he has beaten everyone in his path, now he will enter the ring of .... the Twilight Zone.... ---------------------- Maverick ( the son) : Dad,I am going to start in the Minor Leagues (ML) wrestling, what do you think? Dillon: I am 100% behind it, VT ( Vick Tory) can help you be the best, make me proud, boy. Maverick: Thanks, Dad, I am all over it. Maverick leaves, and signs up for the ML program, he trains for his fights, he goes by the unoriginal name of 'The Maverick'. He,'The Maverick" is successful in all his fights, which, many years later, helps him work up to the major leagues. On entering the Major leagues, Maverick is told to don a black mask and go by the unoriginal name of 'Mask Black'. His father ( Dillon Briksman) was too busy with his own career to know this (ok, this may be a streeecth). The two men are now in the wrestling ring together, the bell sounds, the two go at it, its a grueling match, the father is past his prime, but considerably larger and more experienced then his son, yet his son is in his prime(peak), he is quicker and more agile. The father 'Sir Preme' was gaining the upper hand by multiple body slams on the boy 'Black mask'. (The two exchange garbled words of self promotion. " I 'm da bess", " No one kin bead me", etc...) Then the tables turned, 'Black Mask', the son, has 'Sir Preme ', his dad, in a boston crab, the father is hurting for along time, it looks like this is it for 'Sir Preme", but the father breaks the hold. The father tries multiple attacks on 'Mask Black', all unsuccessful. His son is beating him and 'Sir Preme', the father, does not even know it. "Black Mask",the son, throws "Sir Preme",the father, on the floor, the son goes for a 3 count several times but only gets 2, almost 3, the father is spent and he is shocked, this has never happened, no one came this close to beating him. Thus,in a last ditch effort, the father collects enough adrenaline to do a mad clothesline on the boy,'Mask Black'. Is 'All- or- none' the father thinks to himself, somehow the father does it, and the boy is down, 1- 2- 3 its over. ----------------------------------------------- More to come sooooon BRY, I did not think of adding professional wrestlers/etc.., do u do that? cool, so BRY, what do u think? I hope to read some of your work soon
	__________________ Peace be upon you Last edited by Zone1; 07-25-2003 at 06:25 AM.

07-25-2003, 06:37 AM	#2
Zone1 Member Occasional Poster Join Date: Jun 17, 2003 Location: USA Posts: 71	Z Maverick ( the son) is on the floor, gasping for air, his father ( DB)is hovering over him, and looks down, he decides to remove the mask, the boy gives no resistance, the father looks on his sons face, aghast. He is devastated. Maverick ( the son): I failed you, dad, I am not the best, I failed... (He is bleeding severely, he is badly bruised, and is trying to breath, his eyes are watery......) The Father( is on his knees next to his son, his dark eyes fill with tears, he looks down at the boy and says): " No son, I failed you.... ...I failed you...I failed.. you...." ( The two are in the center of the stage, the father holds the boy in his arms, they are now in the spotlight, a stretcher comes to take the boy to the hospital, all else is black) RS narration >>>>>>>>> To exceed is excellent, yet the lesson here tonight is that we must not create impossible expectations, that may only lead to another path or to here.... in the Twillight Zone..... (Pls comment/critique, thanx) BRY: if u have any wrestling terms I should, give it up Peace
	Last edited by Zone1; 07-27-2003 at 07:25 AM.

07-25-2003, 04:43 PM	#3
bry Member Forum Regular Join Date: Jan 21, 2003 Location: n.c. Posts: 819	hey, that's a pretty good story!! you tricked me though. i thought the son was gonna play the father like in johnny cash's video "the baron" where the son he deserted years earlier challenged him to billiards. the boy was losing it all and put his mothers wedding ring on the table. that's when the baron realized it was his wife's. and he was his son. as he was ready to beat the boy, the forgiving wife placed her hand on his as he aimed. the baron picked up the ball and put it o the shelf. and they lived happily ever after. BTW, marty stuart played the son and of course, June was the wife. see the connection? close. grap terminology worked well with your story. creative slump right now with the on going stories here. again, good stuff ZZ.
	__________________ that's Y-A-T-E-S.

07-25-2003, 07:49 PM	#4
Zone1 Member Occasional Poster Join Date: Jun 17, 2003 Location: USA Posts: 71	Thanks BRY, I appreciate your comments alot. I hope your writers block ends soooon. Maybe u could direct me to some of your older stuff. I love your hard boiled add ons to my story, thanks. Just one Q, do u think it would be more effective if the boy dies? I did not want to offend to many ppls sensibilities, thats why I used this ending. And thanks for the heads up on Johnny Cash, I will have to check that out, hes a great dresser IMHO . Mr. Z

07-26-2003, 12:22 AM	#5
bry Member Forum Regular Join Date: Jan 21, 2003 Location: n.c. Posts: 819	yeah all the great heroes wear black. johnny cash hop a long cassidy darth vader

07-27-2003, 07:22 AM	#6
Zone1 Member Occasional Poster Join Date: Jun 17, 2003 Location: USA Posts: 71	Bry, I agree 100%, black rules Good guys/vigilantes in black rule too: The Shadow ( pulp/comic character/radio drama/movie character) Pulp Fiction/ Reservoir Dogs ( Tarantino Movies) etc............. So, everyone pls post your fanfic here, I hope u liked mine if not tell me what u would change, thanx Mr Z

07-28-2003, 12:30 AM	#7
bry Member Forum Regular Join Date: Jan 21, 2003 Location: n.c. Posts: 819	the maverick awakes. darkness is all around. he comes to slowly. in a daze he fights to open his eyes. thinking to himself, "ok. i'm awake. so i must be alive. only...that must have been a dream. another dream. dad died 14 years ago when i strangled him. another dream. same dream every time. but we are different people each time. if only he hadn't been so forceful in making me follow in his footsteps. i never wanted to be an actor. but he made me!!!..." then a woman comes in "your sleep therepists are meeting about your latest tests." "thanks ma." "but something happened today.." "what ma, what happened? ya gotta tell me." nervously, her face changes to one of concern to one of a coniving smirk. " this time, you did it. you did what i wondered about all along. i knew your father didn't hang himself. and now i know...you killed your father!!!" "what..how?" "while you were asleep, you wrote out a complete confession of what you did. in detail. you killed my husband! you sentenced me to a life alone. and for that you will pay!" as she lunges for him, the medics pull her off her son. the doctors examine his confession with the police and criminal psychologists. and arrest him. RS: picture if a man with a problem, a problem he wanted to get away from so he seeked out professioal help. but he learned one thing that most of us will never find out. tonight he learned that when you ask about questions you have in the night, that you may find all your answers, and others may find out yours. ...in the twilight zone. alternate ending.

08-05-2003, 07:38 PM	#8
Zone1 Member Occasional Poster Join Date: Jun 17, 2003 Location: USA Posts: 71	BRY, Great add on , it is a perfect ending too ( It reminds me of " Perchance to Dream" allittle, cooool) I liked your RS outro alot, I like when an ep is psychological, sometimes guilt makes us think strange things. Thanx, pleasure reading it

08-06-2003, 06:07 PM	#9
bry Member Forum Regular Join Date: Jan 21, 2003 Location: n.c. Posts: 819	thanks pal. that's the best i could come up with. hope it was suitable.

08-09-2003, 05:55 PM	#10
Zone1 Member Occasional Poster Join Date: Jun 17, 2003 Location: USA Posts: 71	BRY, I like both endings. I was thinking for my ending, the boy dies, it would have been very tragic. I like your ending alot, it is cool to examine ppls inner demons. Also a tragic ending, even though he is arrested, the pain they must endure,these types are very effective in literature. From Shakespeare to today, writers seem to strive for that, cool) Maybe we will try our hands at a new piece of tragic fanfic, or whatever. I would love to do a parallel universe story, and some political tales, maybe later ( when I have more time). What do u think? Again great work, thanx Mr Z

08-09-2003, 10:31 PM	#11
bry Member Forum Regular Join Date: Jan 21, 2003 Location: n.c. Posts: 819	parallels on what kind of topics? that may be interesting.

08-10-2003, 01:00 PM	#13
bry Member Forum Regular Join Date: Jan 21, 2003 Location: n.c. Posts: 819	i guess we could do a story on me running for congress like i always wanted to. i could get a date if i was a congressman, take what i wanted from her, kill at a bridge, and still keep my job 30 years later. that's not funny. it's sad but true. but i have seen myself running for the big offices. and what would happen. maybe that's an idea?