Tell Us a Joke - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

BrandonS · 07-04-2003, 11:23 PM

...but nothing too vulgar, please.....

Here's one to get it started:

A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "A shot of whiskey, and
have one for yourself!" The bartender, happy to oblige, pours two shots of
whiskey and the two men each down one. "That'll be seven-fifty," says the
bartender. "I haven't got a cent on me," grins the abortive customer. So
the bartender beats the living daylights out of him and throws him out of
the bar.

Two days later, the same guy walks in, and says to the bartender, "A shot of
whiskey, and have one for yourself!" Now, the bartender assumes that no
man'd want TWO such beatings, so he pours the two shots. "That'll be
seven-fifty," he says. "I haven't got a cent on me," says the customer
again. So the bartender smacks the living daylights out of him and throws
him out of the bar.

Two days later, in limps the exact same guy. "A shot of whiskey, please."
The bartender, angry but curious, asks, "Aren't you going to buy ME one?"
"I certainly am not," exclaims the patron, "you get violent when you drink!"

Polniaczek033 · 07-04-2003, 11:37 PM

y did the chicken cross the road?

to get the other side!!! LOL LOL

i am so good!

wanna hear a dirty joke?
the pig fell in the mud

wanna hear a clean joke?
the farmer hosed him off

LOL! ok, that sucked

Swimfan85 · 07-04-2003, 11:41 PM

"Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says-- "

BrandonS · 07-04-2003, 11:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Swimfan85
"Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says-- "

I don't think this was, "Begin a joke." See, now you've got me all curious as to how it turns out. Whole jokes, please.

Swimfan85 · 07-04-2003, 11:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BrandonS
I don't think this was, "Begin a joke." See, now you've got me all curious as to how it turns out. Whole jokes, please.

Haha I dont kno...its from the Breakfast club...

Swimfan85 · 07-04-2003, 11:44 PM

Bender falls through the ceiling so the joke is never finished

BrandonS · 07-04-2003, 11:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Swimfan85
Bender falls through the ceiling so the joke is never finished

That's absolutely fascinating. And now back to the jokes......

Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A: A dope ring.

Swimfan85 · 07-04-2003, 11:48 PM

can I share a few priest jokes?

Swimfan85 · 07-04-2003, 11:49 PM

A peanut was walking down the street, it was assulted

Swimfan85 · 07-04-2003, 11:50 PM

2 guys walk into a bar and say ouch

BrandonS · 07-04-2003, 11:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Swimfan85
can I share a few priest jokes?

Go right ahead. St. Peter jokes are good too.

Cactus Jack · 07-04-2003, 11:59 PM

Whats Jenny Piccalo ( from Happy Days )'s phone number?
867-5309

Swimfan85 · 07-05-2003, 12:01 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by King Istillgotit
Whats Jenny Piccalo ( from Happy Days )'s phone number?
867-5309

JEEEEEEENNNNNNY I GOT YOUR NUMBER I WANNA MAKE YOU MINE, JENNY DONT CHANGE YOUR NUMBER....867-5309

Crimson and Clover · 07-05-2003, 12:03 AM

best blonde joke ever
clickhere

Swimfan85 · 07-05-2003, 12:03 AM

WARNING DON'T READ IF U ARE GOING TO BE OFFEND IN ANY WAY, THIS IS A PRIEST JOKE

What did the mother say to the priest at the beach?

get out of my sun

!@!@!@!@!

what do mcdonalds and a priest have in common?

they stick their meat between 10 year old buns

07-04-2003, 11:23 PM	#1
BrandonS Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Aug 18, 2002 Posts: 8,824	Tell Us a Joke ...but nothing too vulgar, please..... Here's one to get it started: A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "A shot of whiskey, and have one for yourself!" The bartender, happy to oblige, pours two shots of whiskey and the two men each down one. "That'll be seven-fifty," says the bartender. "I haven't got a cent on me," grins the abortive customer. So the bartender beats the living daylights out of him and throws him out of the bar. Two days later, the same guy walks in, and says to the bartender, "A shot of whiskey, and have one for yourself!" Now, the bartender assumes that no man'd want TWO such beatings, so he pours the two shots. "That'll be seven-fifty," he says. "I haven't got a cent on me," says the customer again. So the bartender smacks the living daylights out of him and throws him out of the bar. Two days later, in limps the exact same guy. "A shot of whiskey, please." The bartender, angry but curious, asks, "Aren't you going to buy ME one?" "I certainly am not," exclaims the patron, "you get violent when you drink!"

07-04-2003, 11:37 PM	#2
Polniaczek033 believe. Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Feb 26, 2002 Location: edinboro. Posts: 4,634	y did the chicken cross the road? to get the other side!!! LOL LOL i am so good! wanna hear a dirty joke? the pig fell in the mud wanna hear a clean joke? the farmer hosed him off LOL! ok, that sucked
	__________________ mindfulness.

07-04-2003, 11:59 PM	#12
Cactus Jack RonFingSwanson Forum Idol Join Date: Dec 09, 2001 Location: Santa Rosa Beach,FL Posts: 103,099	Whats Jenny Piccalo ( from Happy Days )'s phone number? 867-5309
	__________________ Id Love to help you Tracy, but I cant have sex with a black guy, Id lose my endorsement deal with NASCAR-Jenna Maroney,30 Rock April 17,2009 9:02 PM : 100,000th post!

07-05-2003, 12:03 AM	#14
Crimson and Clover Member Forum Star Join Date: Jun 09, 2002 Location: NC Posts: 17,345	best blonde joke ever clickhere
	__________________ Friend me: http://www.facebook.com/MaryLynnCall My Etsy shop http://www.etsy.com/shop/MotherMary You'll never find a sweeter combination As peace and love - Mishka

07-04-2003, 11:41 PM	#3
Swimfan85 Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Jul 04, 2001 Posts: 7,030	"Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says-- "

07-04-2003, 11:44 PM	#6
Swimfan85 Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Jul 04, 2001 Posts: 7,030	Bender falls through the ceiling so the joke is never finished

07-04-2003, 11:48 PM	#8
Swimfan85 Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Jul 04, 2001 Posts: 7,030	can I share a few priest jokes?

07-04-2003, 11:49 PM	#9
Swimfan85 Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Jul 04, 2001 Posts: 7,030	A peanut was walking down the street, it was assulted

07-04-2003, 11:50 PM	#10
Swimfan85 Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Jul 04, 2001 Posts: 7,030	2 guys walk into a bar and say ouch