Why do you think Lucy and Desi divorced?? - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

lucyfan911 · 06-13-2003, 11:25 PM

I always wondered why Lucy and Desi divorced?? I need a couple of opinions. Thanx, and reply if you can. Luv u all bunches

Just Popped In · 06-14-2003, 02:43 AM

I think a lot of things contributed to the divorce. According to Lucy (in her autobiography), Desi was a "womanizer" and often got drunk.

I'm about to read Desi's book now to see if I can get more details. But in skimming ahead through the pages, I noticed that Desi mentioned that he STILL loved Lucy even after the divorce, and still continued to send her flowers for their wedding anniversary (and I believe she still loved him too).

Mickey · 06-14-2003, 08:06 AM

She did still love him. Allegedly her second husband commented at least once that it felt he was just keeping Desi's place warm. Basically they got divorced because it was the right marriage at the wrong time. Lucy was a mess thanks to her father. She needed a secure, steady marriage to renew her faith in the whole institution. Desi couldn't give her that. His whole upbringing led him to believe that sleeping around was perfectly acceptable. Lucy was insecure about that from the start, certain that she was going to lose him, because he was so much younger than her, and there were so many beautiful young temptations in the entertainment world. Desi couldn't see her problem. Not every culture sees marriage and fidelity in the same way as others, and it's not really Desi's fault. Similarly it's not really Lucy's. It all comes down to making sure that you know what you're marrying!

They're probably up there now, in the place where old actors go to rest, arguing over whether or not Desi is carrying on with the angels behind her back. Bet you they're still together though!

Ricardos4ever · 06-14-2003, 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mickey
They're probably up there now, in the place where old actors go to rest, arguing over whether or not Desi is carrying on with the angels behind her back.

LOL!! Good one!

All of what was said seemed like it was pretty much on the mark. I also want to add that they were opposites, and it was probably what attracted them to each other at first but then it caught up with them later on. She was raised poor, he was raised like a prince; she was frugal with money, he was extravagant in his spending. As mentioned before, their views on marriage were totally different. They were working together and seeing each other probably too much -- they'd have a fight but wouldn't have that cooling off period like other couples have. They both had their own addictions which contributed to the demise of their marriage. Hers was to work, his was to alcohol, sex and gambling. Underneath it all, they still loved each other very much. They just couldn't be married anymore.

SPLAIN · 06-14-2003, 07:35 PM

She was a mess because of her father, Mickey? She was four when he died! Desi was so much younger than her? There were six whole years seperating them in age. 15 years seperated her and her second husband and that lasted 28 years. To the person who asked the opinion, you don't need our opinions, Lucy said it was because he had fits of temper, and was an alcoholic womanizer, BUT, they loved each other forever because she also was a control freak and she couldn't control HIM, and they complimented each other beautifully, one of the greatest LOVE stories of all time because he was also charming and usually a good business man, and BOTH were caring considerate compassionate human beings with more qualities than faults. And i agree with Ricardos forever, that was a great line about th angels Mick! LOL!

Ricardos4ever · 06-14-2003, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by SPLAIN
She was a mess because of her father, Mickey? She was four when he died!

That line struck me funny too, but maybe he meant that because she really didn't have a father figure in her life (other than her grandfather), it was harder on her growing up and was maybe the root of some of her insecurities as an adult. But as for saying that she was a mess, I don't know if I would go that far.

Mickey · 06-15-2003, 05:47 AM

People have often said she had a fear of abandonment because of her father - I guess that's a matter of opinion, and I'm not going to argue with experts like Splain! As for the difference in age - no, I don't think it was very much either, but supposedly it made her insecure. I suppose, when somebody is tempted by pretty (and very young) women, and you're not only older than them, but older than him too, it's likely to be a worry. Don't forget the pressure there is in the industry to be young and beautiful all the time anyway.

I'd query the bit about Desi being raised like a prince though. I mean, yes he pretty much was at first, but after the revolution things were terrible for him ad his mother, much worse than they ever were for Lucy - so that side of their lives probably wasn't that contrasting.

Ricardos4ever · 06-15-2003, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mickey
I'd query the bit about Desi being raised like a prince though. I mean, yes he pretty much was at first, but after the revolution things were terrible for him ad his mother, much worse than they ever were for Lucy - so that side of their lives probably wasn't that contrasting.

I would say that Desi was treated like a prince. He grew up the only child of the mayor of Santiago, who was also a rich doctor. The family owned cattle ranches and many homes. Desi had his own speedboat and a car as a teenager. Yes, he lost everything in the revolution, but he was seventeen when that happened. He was practically an adult. His personality had already been shaped by his childhood and so his beliefs about money stuck with him into his adult life. He spent and gambled away money like there was no tomorrow, whereas Lucy was so frugal that she would look at the price tag on a $3 handkerchief in wardrobe and act like it was the most expensive thing in the world. In my opinion, their socioeconomic upbringings and their views on money were very contrasting.

Mickey · 06-16-2003, 06:36 AM

Yes, fair point actually. He did have a pretty easy time of things to start off with, and I'd imagine their attitudes to money and life in general were probably rather different as a result. Mind you, having to catch rats to survive must have changed his outlook slightly.

I still think Desi's early life would make one hell of a film!

SPLAIN · 06-16-2003, 12:37 PM

I don't think they caught the rats in that warehouse to eat, but rather to sleep better. Lucy grew up poor, so like Streisand and others, she lived frugally her whole life for fear of ever being poor again. She lived a much better life while married to Desi because he knew how to enjoy money, now Gary was cheap, Lucy was careful. When they were starting out, she had bonds and annuities, he squandered everything, but had a good time while doing it, i can see the merits of both sides. Depriving yourself so you can leave more to your kids is not my ideal way of enjoyingthe rewards of hard work. It must have been hard though to go from being rich and having everything to being poor, as it was for Desi, maybe that's why for the rest of his life it was said for everything he built up he had to tear down. And he quit gambling only when he lost everything. Instead of living on the interest of the millions he got when he sold his share of Desilu to Lucy, he spent the capital, and when he and his wife got sick, they spent everything they had and more on medical bills. She deprived herself so she could leave most of it to those kids and that second husband. I can see the good side and bad side of both situations.

06-13-2003, 11:25 PM	#1
lucyfan911 Member Occasional Poster Join Date: Jun 13, 2003 Posts: 20	Why do you think Lucy and Desi divorced?? I always wondered why Lucy and Desi divorced?? I need a couple of opinions. Thanx, and reply if you can. Luv u all bunches
	__________________ #1 Lucille Ball Luver!!!! By the way, I don't care for mean comments. Don't ask 4 names!! Well Splain is pretty bad at the coments.

06-14-2003, 02:43 AM	#2
Just Popped In Lucy & Ricky forever Frequent Poster Join Date: Nov 16, 2002 Location: Monterey Peninsula, California Posts: 304	I think a lot of things contributed to the divorce. According to Lucy (in her autobiography), Desi was a "womanizer" and often got drunk. I'm about to read Desi's book now to see if I can get more details. But in skimming ahead through the pages, I noticed that Desi mentioned that he STILL loved Lucy even after the divorce, and still continued to send her flowers for their wedding anniversary (and I believe she still loved him too).
	__________________ Sanity is simply the ability of the mind to adjust to reality. If we can't adjust, we either hide from reality, or we put ourselves above life, where we're super-beings who don't have to follow the rules. ~Sidney Sheldon ("The Naked Face")

06-14-2003, 08:06 AM	#3
Mickey Ranger Forum Regular Join Date: Oct 12, 2002 Location: The UK, and still finding Desi funnier than Lucy Posts: 960	She did still love him. Allegedly her second husband commented at least once that it felt he was just keeping Desi's place warm. Basically they got divorced because it was the right marriage at the wrong time. Lucy was a mess thanks to her father. She needed a secure, steady marriage to renew her faith in the whole institution. Desi couldn't give her that. His whole upbringing led him to believe that sleeping around was perfectly acceptable. Lucy was insecure about that from the start, certain that she was going to lose him, because he was so much younger than her, and there were so many beautiful young temptations in the entertainment world. Desi couldn't see her problem. Not every culture sees marriage and fidelity in the same way as others, and it's not really Desi's fault. Similarly it's not really Lucy's. It all comes down to making sure that you know what you're marrying! They're probably up there now, in the place where old actors go to rest, arguing over whether or not Desi is carrying on with the angels behind her back. Bet you they're still together though!

06-14-2003, 07:35 PM	#5
SPLAIN I Love Lucy Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 04, 2002 Location: MONTREAL, CANADA Posts: 4,563	She was a mess because of her father, Mickey? She was four when he died! Desi was so much younger than her? There were six whole years seperating them in age. 15 years seperated her and her second husband and that lasted 28 years. To the person who asked the opinion, you don't need our opinions, Lucy said it was because he had fits of temper, and was an alcoholic womanizer, BUT, they loved each other forever because she also was a control freak and she couldn't control HIM, and they complimented each other beautifully, one of the greatest LOVE stories of all time because he was also charming and usually a good business man, and BOTH were caring considerate compassionate human beings with more qualities than faults. And i agree with Ricardos forever, that was a great line about th angels Mick! LOL!

06-15-2003, 05:47 AM	#7
Mickey Ranger Forum Regular Join Date: Oct 12, 2002 Location: The UK, and still finding Desi funnier than Lucy Posts: 960	People have often said she had a fear of abandonment because of her father - I guess that's a matter of opinion, and I'm not going to argue with experts like Splain! As for the difference in age - no, I don't think it was very much either, but supposedly it made her insecure. I suppose, when somebody is tempted by pretty (and very young) women, and you're not only older than them, but older than him too, it's likely to be a worry. Don't forget the pressure there is in the industry to be young and beautiful all the time anyway. I'd query the bit about Desi being raised like a prince though. I mean, yes he pretty much was at first, but after the revolution things were terrible for him ad his mother, much worse than they ever were for Lucy - so that side of their lives probably wasn't that contrasting.

06-16-2003, 06:36 AM	#9
Mickey Ranger Forum Regular Join Date: Oct 12, 2002 Location: The UK, and still finding Desi funnier than Lucy Posts: 960	Yes, fair point actually. He did have a pretty easy time of things to start off with, and I'd imagine their attitudes to money and life in general were probably rather different as a result. Mind you, having to catch rats to survive must have changed his outlook slightly. I still think Desi's early life would make one hell of a film!

06-16-2003, 12:37 PM	#10
SPLAIN I Love Lucy Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Mar 04, 2002 Location: MONTREAL, CANADA Posts: 4,563	I don't think they caught the rats in that warehouse to eat, but rather to sleep better. Lucy grew up poor, so like Streisand and others, she lived frugally her whole life for fear of ever being poor again. She lived a much better life while married to Desi because he knew how to enjoy money, now Gary was cheap, Lucy was careful. When they were starting out, she had bonds and annuities, he squandered everything, but had a good time while doing it, i can see the merits of both sides. Depriving yourself so you can leave more to your kids is not my ideal way of enjoyingthe rewards of hard work. It must have been hard though to go from being rich and having everything to being poor, as it was for Desi, maybe that's why for the rest of his life it was said for everything he built up he had to tear down. And he quit gambling only when he lost everything. Instead of living on the interest of the millions he got when he sold his share of Desilu to Lucy, he spent the capital, and when he and his wife got sick, they spent everything they had and more on medical bills. She deprived herself so she could leave most of it to those kids and that second husband. I can see the good side and bad side of both situations.