Now I have a Dating Question--FOR GUYS - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Cashodeen · 06-06-2003, 09:36 PM

Why is it that guys will ask a girl out, or hint to a girl they want to go out, yet they give the girl THEIR phone number and sometimes do not ask the girl for theirs? Also tell me if you've ever done this and why.

Girls can answer this too and tell why they think guys do it. Also you can mention if it's happened to you. Did you get annoyed?

Evita Peron · 06-06-2003, 09:42 PM

This has never happened to me. I once swapped phone numbers with a guy and he called me.

Mijada · 06-06-2003, 10:02 PM

That's never happened to me either. The guy always asks me for my number if he's interested. Sometimes I am reluctant to give it to him though because if it turns out I don't like him he will still have my number and might end up harrassing me or something.

Cashodeen · 06-06-2003, 10:21 PM

It has happened to me enough times that I want to know what is up with them. If a guy is trying to ask me out, I want him to just ask for my number. I think it's cause they are wusses, but before I get all judgmental I want to know from guys on here why they would do such a thing. Are you too chicken she'll say no to that?

Dammit · 06-06-2003, 10:29 PM

it lets her know we are interested, and lets her decide if she is or not without the fear of beigng stalked if they decide later that they are not interested.

It has nothing to do with being chicken, it has everything to do with letting the woman feel as if she is in control, which she is anyway.

I used to do this all the time, I don't anymore bc of the chance of disapearing before she calls. She calls, I don't return the call for 3 months, she gets pissed..its all over before it even starts.

BrandonS · 06-06-2003, 11:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dammit
it lets her know we are interested, and lets her decide if she is or not without the fear of beigng stalked if they decide later that they are not interested.

It has nothing to do with being chicken, it has everything to do with letting the woman feel as if she is in control, which she is anyway.

I used to do this all the time, I don't anymore bc of the chance of disapearing before she calls. She calls, I don't return the call for 3 months, she gets pissed..its all over before it even starts.

I've done this a few times, and the above reason is why I do it when I do. I use this for cases, where I think the girl is a little skittish, or uncertain about me, and I want to let her know I like her, without applying a lot of pressure. If I do this, it certainly means I want her to call.

Cashodeen · 06-07-2003, 05:24 PM

Okay, well here's where I am on this. Never once have I called a guy who has giving me their number--even if I was interested. Not once! I hope you've never met up with a girl like me then, and given her your number. Because then you'd miss out. I just won't do it. I figure, if they are asking me out, they should want to call me.

Unless a girl has had a bad experience with harassers or even stalkers, I don't see why she is so timid that she can't give out her number. I really sympathize with the girls who've had problems, but otherwise I say, "It's just a phone number!" It's not like she is giving out her address, which is something I understand she would be gaurded about. And guarenteed, you ask any girl who claims she never gives it out, "have you ever given it out at least once?" Almost all girls will have its happened before. I think guys should just go for it, and always ask themselves. Then if she says, no, the guy knows where he stands. Heck, if he REALLY wants to he could give his out. I just don't dig it.

BrandonS · 06-07-2003, 05:56 PM

It seems to me that any successful relationship is going to include compromise, patience, a pleasant manner, and flexibility on both individuals' parts. Forgive me, but you don't sound like someone who shows these qualities to your dates or potential dates. In just a few posts in this thread, you've called us wusses, chickens, and said that the man has to do things your way or you won't play. In addition, you've offered not very gentle advice to people whose shoes you've never been in. If I detected this sort of attitude in someone I was initially interested in, I would probably become significantly less interested. Sorry, but that's what I'm picking up here.

Cashodeen · 06-07-2003, 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BrandonS
It seems to me that any successful relationship is going to include compromise, patience, a pleasant manner, and flexibility on both individuals' parts. Forgive me, but you don't sound like someone who shows these qualities to your dates or potential dates. In just a few posts in this thread, you've called us wusses, chickens, and said that the man has to do things your way or you won't play. In addition, you've offered not very gentle advice to people whose shoes you've never been in. If I detected this sort of attitude in someone I was initially interested in, I would probably become significantly less interested. Sorry, but that's what I'm picking up here.

No no, I totally understand why you would pick that up from me. And there is really nothing I can do to convince you otherwise. I'm very particular and expect a lot of the aspects of dating to go a certain way, even though as a whole I am a laid back type person. While Doc Love's advice column, and the other columns at askmen.com, haven't influenced me in any way, I agree with most of what is said. Their messages are actually about how to help guys have success in dating, and to also not waste their time with creepy females. Because there are a lot of creepy females out there, and I think guys deserve better. I'm not into male bashing and having the women possess all the control. I'm all for give and take, but I also feel there are certain things guys should do, just as there are certain things girls should do. That's just how I am. I don't expect you to agree with the male writers at askmen.com. You have to do whatever works for you, and then you'll make it. What works for me is something else and I'm fine with it.

Cashodeen · 06-07-2003, 06:55 PM

Something else to add regarding "males needing to do things my way," its not that I want it done MY way, I want the guy's way to be my way. The common ground is what I need for a starting point in relationships. If it's not in the guy's interest to do certain things, I don't want him to waste time on me, because I would be really a waste of time for him. I want no one to "cater" to me. I want them to find someone who shares their feelings on most things.

And I really can't help but classify some of the guys as wusses when they force their number on me. I certainly shouldn't assume they all are, because you do it, and you do it to be respectful toward the girl's feelings.

BrandonS · 06-07-2003, 07:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cashodeen
Something else to add regarding "males needing to do things my way," its not that I want it done MY way, I want the guy's way to be my way. The common ground is what I need for a starting point in relationships. If it's not in the guy's interest to do certain things, I don't want him to waste time on me, because I would be really a waste of time for him. I want no one to "cater" to me. I want them to find someone who shares their feelings on most things.

And I really can't help but classify some of the guys as wusses when they force their number on me. I certainly shouldn't assume they all are, because you do it, and you do it to be respectful toward the girl's feelings.

Okay. If what you're doing is working for you, and enough guys fall into this category that you're looking for, then there's no reason for you to reconsider. But bear in mind, that we often aren't sure how to interpret what you do either, and the person with the traditional responsibility for making the offer doesn't have to be a wuss to find rejection painful.

06-06-2003, 09:36 PM	#1
Cashodeen Hi. Forum Star Join Date: Aug 30, 2001 Posts: 11,363	Now I have a Dating Question--FOR GUYS Why is it that guys will ask a girl out, or hint to a girl they want to go out, yet they give the girl THEIR phone number and sometimes do not ask the girl for theirs? Also tell me if you've ever done this and why. Girls can answer this too and tell why they think guys do it. Also you can mention if it's happened to you. Did you get annoyed?

06-06-2003, 09:42 PM	#2
Evita Peron Evita Perón Frequent Poster Join Date: May 19, 2003 Location: USA Posts: 311	This has never happened to me. I once swapped phone numbers with a guy and he called me.
	__________________ "Time is my greatest enemy." -Eva's favorite saying. "I would willingly die a thousand times for my descamisados." Evita

06-06-2003, 10:02 PM	#3
Mijada Spencers mom Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 02, 2001 Location: eastern US Posts: 4,093	That's never happened to me either. The guy always asks me for my number if he's interested. Sometimes I am reluctant to give it to him though because if it turns out I don't like him he will still have my number and might end up harrassing me or something.

06-06-2003, 10:21 PM	#4
Cashodeen Hi. Forum Star Join Date: Aug 30, 2001 Posts: 11,363	It has happened to me enough times that I want to know what is up with them. If a guy is trying to ask me out, I want him to just ask for my number. I think it's cause they are wusses, but before I get all judgmental I want to know from guys on here why they would do such a thing. Are you too chicken she'll say no to that?

06-06-2003, 10:29 PM	#5
Dammit Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Jun 14, 2002 Location: Texas Posts: 147	it lets her know we are interested, and lets her decide if she is or not without the fear of beigng stalked if they decide later that they are not interested. It has nothing to do with being chicken, it has everything to do with letting the woman feel as if she is in control, which she is anyway. I used to do this all the time, I don't anymore bc of the chance of disapearing before she calls. She calls, I don't return the call for 3 months, she gets pissed..its all over before it even starts.

06-07-2003, 05:24 PM	#7
Cashodeen Hi. Forum Star Join Date: Aug 30, 2001 Posts: 11,363	Okay, well here's where I am on this. Never once have I called a guy who has giving me their number--even if I was interested. Not once! I hope you've never met up with a girl like me then, and given her your number. Because then you'd miss out. I just won't do it. I figure, if they are asking me out, they should want to call me. Unless a girl has had a bad experience with harassers or even stalkers, I don't see why she is so timid that she can't give out her number. I really sympathize with the girls who've had problems, but otherwise I say, "It's just a phone number!" It's not like she is giving out her address, which is something I understand she would be gaurded about. And guarenteed, you ask any girl who claims she never gives it out, "have you ever given it out at least once?" Almost all girls will have its happened before. I think guys should just go for it, and always ask themselves. Then if she says, no, the guy knows where he stands. Heck, if he REALLY wants to he could give his out. I just don't dig it.

06-07-2003, 05:56 PM	#8
BrandonS Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Aug 18, 2002 Posts: 8,824	It seems to me that any successful relationship is going to include compromise, patience, a pleasant manner, and flexibility on both individuals' parts. Forgive me, but you don't sound like someone who shows these qualities to your dates or potential dates. In just a few posts in this thread, you've called us wusses, chickens, and said that the man has to do things your way or you won't play. In addition, you've offered not very gentle advice to people whose shoes you've never been in. If I detected this sort of attitude in someone I was initially interested in, I would probably become significantly less interested. Sorry, but that's what I'm picking up here.

06-07-2003, 06:55 PM	#10
Cashodeen Hi. Forum Star Join Date: Aug 30, 2001 Posts: 11,363	Something else to add regarding "males needing to do things my way," its not that I want it done MY way, I want the guy's way to be my way. The common ground is what I need for a starting point in relationships. If it's not in the guy's interest to do certain things, I don't want him to waste time on me, because I would be really a waste of time for him. I want no one to "cater" to me. I want them to find someone who shares their feelings on most things. And I really can't help but classify some of the guys as wusses when they force their number on me. I certainly shouldn't assume they all are, because you do it, and you do it to be respectful toward the girl's feelings.