Hi, haven't posted in awhile, but . . .

[goldie]

thought I'd post something MTM-related: tonight on a local station, I watched a retrospective of the first few years of "Everybody Loves Raymond" and during the intro to the segment on Debra, MTM stated that she liked the fact that Debra stayed home with the kids.

As an advocate of moms being at home full-time, I thought this was a cool thing for Mary to say. I'd never heard anything about her personal views on this, but it seemed to really reflect a Laura Petrie sort of philosophy, which is nice, I think.

Peace!

[SawgrassSteve]

You're so right, Goldie,
That is nice, or at least I think so. I mean, in my experience, most Moms would rather be at home with their kids than out working and juggling day care, home, and family obligations. I've sat with many working Moms and listened to confessions of guilt for just having dropped off a crying toddler with a sitter. But our society has been restructured. Those old fashioned notions of the Father being the "breadwinner" and the Mother being the nurturer are lost to our post modern belief that you have to earn a paycheck to be valuable (and the bigger the better) in our society. Dad used to bring home the bacon, and Mom would fry it up, and everybody benefited. That's the era in which the Petries were created, and in which Mary was born.
How different our world is from theirs now. Two working parents, latchkey kids, rampant divorce, single parent families, undefined gender roles. No wonder TDVDS has such appeal to us. The Petries didn't have the newest car in their driveway nor the biggest house in the neighborhood, but what they had inside it meant so more than words can express.

Steve

[Lolac]

Originally posted by goldie
thought I'd post something MTM-related: tonight on a local station, I watched a retrospective of the first few years of "Everybody Loves Raymond" and during the intro to the segment on Debra, MTM stated that she liked the fact that Debra stayed home with the kids.

As an advocate of moms being at home full-time, I thought this was a cool thing for Mary to say. I'd never heard anything about her personal views on this, but it seemed to really reflect a Laura Petrie sort of philosophy, which is nice, I think.

Peace!

I am a stay-at-home mother of 3 and it is so nice to see my minority views expressed! I love being a sahm, but I'll tell you, I work harder at home than when I was working as an Operating Room nurse at a major teaching hospital! Lolac

[goldie]

Lolac, Hi to another sahm! We do seem to be a minority, don't we? Being a full-time homemaker is a really important career! Thanks for your reply.

Steve - thanks to you as well, nicely put. I do favor the old shows featuring functional families and traditional roles, and I advocate that today. If I could say this: I know that some mothers do hate being away from their children, but in research, I've been surprised and very disillusioned to learn that so many mothers really don't want to be at home or spend very much time with their children. Some of the attitudes I've encountered have been, to say the least, rather hostile and selfish, and I just don't understand it. But society has pushed people to believe that they must have more and more and it's created division and role reversals and confusion. You really said it: people without a paycheck aren't valued much at all by society today. That's why the characters of Laura and the other tv moms seem special and represent something so sadly missing now.

Your mention of how different our world is and latchkey kids, etc. made me think of a post I made awhile back on the Leave it to Beaver board - it's a piece I wrote (with the June Cleaver character in mind) about moms being at home. I thought perhaps it might be something you guys would be interested in reading, so here it is:


~ How times have changed ~
In this age of
scattered soccer moms,
SUVs and cell phone mania,
breakfasts on the run,
latchkey kids,
and families lost,
she is a kind and refreshing reminder of
what used to be for some,
and of what still should be for all.
She was as surely as anyone, a real career woman.
There are today,
too many distorted caricatures
of what children wish “mom” could really be.
They are over-the-edge extremes whose concerns are
less about home, husband, and children
and more about their “real” career of making money.
They bring children into a
disordered and frightening world,
and complain every single day of
personal sacrifices and
burdens imposed by their own choices, needs, and greed.

But what the children truly want is a real, full-time mom.

Somewhere along the journey,
a detour was taken
and the road has led to a dead-end
for too many families.
Society seems to disallow
the idea of a Mrs. Cleaver today,
while mightily pushing the power of
dollar signs and supposed personal fulfillment.
Fictionally represented though she is,
there is something very nice about
that string of pearls around her neck,
a crisply clean dress, and high heel shoes.
They are the pleasant accessories of
a kind and loving character.
Society has forgotten that
when it’s all said and done,
children will care far, far less about
designer sneakers,
material excess, and
overloaded backpacks,
and far, far more about the
love, support, and nurturing sweetness of mom.
In this world full of
wayward families,
shattered dreams,
and fake gems,
she is – and always will be –
a true mother of pearl.

~ goldie ~

[B&W fan]

Really good stuff, goldie! And I couldn't agree more with you on the current state of soceity and values.

B&W "I haven't been to the LITB board too much recently, but perhaps I'll start swinging by more" fan

[SawgrassSteve]

Originally posted by goldie
Steve - thanks to you as well, nicely put.

No problem, Goldie.
And let me add, at the risk of digressing this thread into a cheering section for sahms, that while I do understand and recognize the need for women to be able to work, earn and be productive in our society on whatever level they are capable (we all have to play the cards we are dealt), I also have a deeply held belief that there is no greater contribution an individual can make to a civilized society than to dedicate one's self to the shaping of little hearts and minds to be decent, honest, responsible, intelligent, law-abiding citizens. Without that, a nation's productivity and it's resultant affluence is meaningless, and only temporary.
In other words, you sahms rock!

Steve

PS, I liked the LITB post, and the flag, so peace back atcha, or as we say, Shalom!

[Lolac]

Thanks, Goldie, for the poem. I think I will print it up to remind me on those crazy days, why I chose to stay home with my 3 darling maniacs! Lolac

[goldie]

Originally posted by B&W fan
Really good stuff, goldie! And I couldn't agree more with you on the current state of soceity and values.

B&W "I haven't been to the LITB board too much recently, but perhaps I'll start swinging by more" fan

Hey B&W!
Thank you ~ glad to learn that others have some of the same concerns and opinions. The old shows offer a sort of respite from the frenetic pace of today, don't they?

I've only gotten back to posting on the boards just recently myself. Maybe I'll see you at the LITB board or elsewhere.

[goldie]

Originally posted by SawgrassSteve

No problem, Goldie.
And let me add, at the risk of digressing this thread into a cheering section for sahms, that while I do understand and recognize the need for women to be able to work, earn and be productive in our society on whatever level they are capable (we all have to play the cards we are dealt), I also have a deeply held belief that there is no greater contribution an individual can make to a civilized society than to dedicate one's self to the shaping of little hearts and minds to be decent, honest, responsible, intelligent, law-abiding citizens. Without that, a nation's productivity and it's resultant affluence is meaningless, and only temporary.
In other words, you sahms rock!

Steve

PS, I liked the LITB post, and the flag, so peace back atcha, or as we say, Shalom!

Give me a C,
give me an H,
give me an E,
give me another E,
give me an R,
give me an S!
Cheers to Steve!

[goldie]

Originally posted by Lolac
Thanks, Goldie, for the poem. I think I will print it up to remind me on those crazy days, why I chose to stay home with my 3 darling maniacs! Lolac

No problem, Lolac - if it inspires, that's great!

Have a good weekend!

[Lolac]

Goldie, where did you get the DVDS opening video clip and how did you get it in your message? I'm just learning about some of these type things. Lolac