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blackbeard · 05-15-2003, 11:42 PM

When Jane initially met Tarzan of the jungle, she was attracted to him; during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex. "Tarzan not know sex," he replied. Jane explained to him what sex was. Tarzan said, "Oh, Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree." Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothing and laid down on the ground, "Here" she said, you put it in here." Tarzan removed his loincloth showing Jane his considerable manhood, stepped closer, and then gave her a mighty kick right in the crotch! Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually she managed to gasp for air and screamed, "What did you do that for?" Tarzan replied "check for squirrel."

blackbeard · 05-15-2003, 11:45 PM

here's another
The Pharmacist and the Lady
A lady walks into the drug store and asks the druggist for some arsenic. The druggist asks "Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?". The lady say's "To kill my husband." I can't sell you any for that reason" says the druggist. The lady then reaches into her purse and pulls out a photo of a man and a women in a compromising position, the man is her husband and the lady is the druggist's wife, and shows it to the druggist. He looks at the photo and says" Oh I didn't know you had a prescription

blackbeard · 05-15-2003, 11:50 PM

the last one for tonight:
Bubba and Jimmy Joe
One day, Jimmy Joe was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup. Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin. "Bubba, where'd you get that truck?" "Bobby Sue gave it to me" Bubba replied. "She gave it to you? I knew she was kinda sweet on ya, but a new truck?" "Well, Jimmy Joe, let me tell you what happened. We were driving out on County Road 6, in the middle of nowhere. Bobby Sue pulled off the road, put the truck in 4-wheel drive, and headed into the woods. She parked the truck, got out, threw off all her clothes and said, 'Bubba, take whatever you want'. So I took the truck!" "Bubba, you're a smart man!. Them clothes woulda never fit you!"

Chocoholic · 05-15-2003, 11:55 PM

Those are good!

Krista2882 · 05-15-2003, 11:58 PM

hahahaha!!

blackbeard · 05-16-2003, 12:23 AM

my girl friend sent them to me this morning, she knows my future ex is trying to rake me over the coals and figured I needed a laugh. Since I met her 2 weeks ago its like a dark cloud has been lifted from my life,.

pilotguy · 05-16-2003, 06:55 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by blackbeard
my girl friend sent them to me this morning, she knows my future ex is trying to rake me over the coals and figured I needed a laugh. Since I met her 2 weeks ago its like a dark cloud has been lifted from my life,.

That's great, Blackbeard....Just make sure that your future ex doesn't try driving a jeep through your office!

05-15-2003, 11:42 PM	#1
blackbeard B.O.G. Forum Regular Join Date: Sep 05, 2001 Location: Constitution State Posts: 712	Read if you need a laugh When Jane initially met Tarzan of the jungle, she was attracted to him; during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex. "Tarzan not know sex," he replied. Jane explained to him what sex was. Tarzan said, "Oh, Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree." Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothing and laid down on the ground, "Here" she said, you put it in here." Tarzan removed his loincloth showing Jane his considerable manhood, stepped closer, and then gave her a mighty kick right in the crotch! Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually she managed to gasp for air and screamed, "What did you do that for?" Tarzan replied "check for squirrel."

05-15-2003, 11:45 PM	#2
blackbeard B.O.G. Forum Regular Join Date: Sep 05, 2001 Location: Constitution State Posts: 712	here's another The Pharmacist and the Lady A lady walks into the drug store and asks the druggist for some arsenic. The druggist asks "Ma'am, what do you want with arsenic?". The lady say's "To kill my husband." I can't sell you any for that reason" says the druggist. The lady then reaches into her purse and pulls out a photo of a man and a women in a compromising position, the man is her husband and the lady is the druggist's wife, and shows it to the druggist. He looks at the photo and says" Oh I didn't know you had a prescription

05-15-2003, 11:50 PM	#3
blackbeard B.O.G. Forum Regular Join Date: Sep 05, 2001 Location: Constitution State Posts: 712	the last one for tonight: Bubba and Jimmy Joe One day, Jimmy Joe was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup. Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin. "Bubba, where'd you get that truck?" "Bobby Sue gave it to me" Bubba replied. "She gave it to you? I knew she was kinda sweet on ya, but a new truck?" "Well, Jimmy Joe, let me tell you what happened. We were driving out on County Road 6, in the middle of nowhere. Bobby Sue pulled off the road, put the truck in 4-wheel drive, and headed into the woods. She parked the truck, got out, threw off all her clothes and said, 'Bubba, take whatever you want'. So I took the truck!" "Bubba, you're a smart man!. Them clothes woulda never fit you!"

05-15-2003, 11:55 PM	#4
Chocoholic Member Forum Star Join Date: Dec 01, 2000 Location: Between a rock and a hard place. Posts: 11,235	Those are good!

05-15-2003, 11:58 PM	#5
Krista2882 Member Senior Member Join Date: Apr 10, 2003 Location: CT Posts: 1,370	hahahaha!!

05-16-2003, 12:23 AM	#6
blackbeard B.O.G. Forum Regular Join Date: Sep 05, 2001 Location: Constitution State Posts: 712	my girl friend sent them to me this morning, she knows my future ex is trying to rake me over the coals and figured I needed a laugh. Since I met her 2 weeks ago its like a dark cloud has been lifted from my life,.