grief - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Tuesday Weld · 05-14-2003, 10:52 PM

Does anyone else have a really difficult time with the loss of a loved one,and you just can't handle it,like you should?I've always been like that.Whether it's a person or pet,I just stay obsessed for a long time.I guess I'm just so sensitive to that type of thing.I remember when my Grandfather died about 14 1/2 yrs. ago,it took me YEARS to really feel better.Also,when my cat died about 2 1/2 yrs. ago,I had and still have a rough time with that.And now,my most recent loss,my Grandmother,a little over 3 weeks ago and I'm still just devastated.Even when I know someone's passing is for the best,I just can't let go.Does anyone else have a really tough time coping with it?

¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ · 05-14-2003, 11:05 PM

The only deaths Ive had to deal with his my pets- and believe me its just as tragic as people- theyre a part of the family. I hold a special spot for animals- IMO theyre innocent creatures and I have such sympathy for them. When my Grandmother was sick a couple of weeks ago, it was upsetting, but then after I just remembered that when God wants you to go its the right time. When I keep thinking that to myself, it takes off some of the sadness. I believe that God will take you when you are ready and hes not doing it selfishly.

Tuesday Weld · 05-14-2003, 11:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ¤MsConanOBrien¤
The only deaths Ive had to deal with his my pets- and believe me its just as tragic as people- theyre a part of the family. I hold a special spot for animals- IMO theyre innocent creatures and I have such sympathy for them. When my Grandmother was sick a couple of weeks ago, it was upsetting, but then after I just remembered that when God wants you to go its the right time. When I keep thinking that to myself, it takes off some of the sadness. I believe that God will take you when you are ready and hes not doing it selfishly.

Yeah,I try to keep in mind about God taking someone,when it's time.I'm just so overly sensitive and emotional,which is part of the problem.Oh,yes,I know about pets - I still miss my cat,Molly,she died 2 1/2 yrs. ago and I still miss her a lot.

BrandonS · 05-14-2003, 11:23 PM

I'm sorry about your grandmother. My father died in Feb. of 1992, and I was a complete mental vegetable for 3 1/2 months. I was in a great deal of pain about it for many years, and I still feel a lot of pain connected with it. My cat, Coke, died in 1984, and I still miss her a lot, although, my new cat, Winston, fills her spot nicely.

Max Whittaker · 05-14-2003, 11:24 PM

We all handle grief in our own way. You shouldn't feel like you are doing it wrong.

You'll always have a part of those people(and animals) with you; because they touched your heart. When they leave, they never really go.

It's alright to hurt.

Tuesday Weld · 05-14-2003, 11:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BrandonS
I'm sorry about your grandmother. My father died in Feb. of 1992, and I was a complete mental vegetable for 3 1/2 months. I was in a great deal of pain about it for many years, and I still feel a lot of pain connected with it. My cat, Coke, died in 1984, and I still miss her a lot, although, my new cat, Winston, fills her spot nicely.

I'm so sorry about your father and cat.

I know death is tough for anyone,but I think I'm just so extremely sensitive to it,that I just kind of flip out.

DarleneIllyria · 05-14-2003, 11:39 PM

Oh yeah, I really have a rough time with stuff like that. Please don't think this is some sort of cop out, or anything like that. I know death is a part of life and all that, but I've really had whammies full of death. If I start to feel better, I'll lose someone or something else and I get knocked back down again. Usually, I'd slowly climb to my feet again and have the repeat knock downs, but sometimes I'll just be in this dark mood where all I want to do is cry my eyes out. No, I'm not the type of person that goes around crying 24/7. I put up a front when I'm around people, but when I'm alone, that's when it all comes out.

Death is especially hard if you're so close to the person or pet. It's just hard to cope. It's really hard to cope if I see something that reminds me of the person/pet. I'll just have to get by myself and cry and get it out of my system.

Faith · 05-15-2003, 12:06 AM

I have always been really sensitive when it comes to death. I am still feeling sad over the death of my great grandma and great uncle, and that was 10 years ago. This is especially hard because they died so close to eachother ( 13 days apart ).

And then there is the most recent which happened almost 2 months ago. This is also especially hard because he was like a brother to me, and I still feel like maybe I could have done something to stop him from doing this. I don't know.

BrandonS · 05-15-2003, 12:28 AM

Quote:

Sarah wrote:
my mom died from cancer like 8 months ago

I'm sorry about your mom. It's okay to feel sad about the death of someone close to you, because everyone does.

AnaheimPMWitch · 05-15-2003, 12:41 AM

I dont know when I recently lost my Grandpa eventhough he was REALLY mean to us while he was alive it hit really hard for me I was an emotional MESS for A LONG time

*InThisMoment* · 05-15-2003, 01:02 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by ¤MsConanOBrien¤
The only deaths Ive had to deal with his my pets- and believe me its just as tragic as people- theyre a part of the family. I hold a special spot for animals- IMO theyre innocent creatures and I have such sympathy for them. When my Grandmother was sick a couple of weeks ago, it was upsetting, but then after I just remembered that when God wants you to go its the right time. When I keep thinking that to myself, it takes off some of the sadness. I believe that God will take you when you are ready and hes not doing it selfishly.

That Was A Very Good Way To Put It! about a year ago on st patricks day my beloved cat died of lukemia.she was only a year old but i loved her so much.i tryed to be stronge but everynight i would feel so empty without her.i'm just that way with animals.

*InThisMoment* · 05-15-2003, 01:04 AM

but i never lost anybody like parents or that sort of thing..

Janice · 05-15-2003, 01:05 AM

I'm sorry for everyone's losses here.
The Grief Club is not an exclusive one, and sooner or later, we all become a member and pay our dues. Having lost my sister and both my parents, I know all too well the private hell known as mourning.
It takes time, and there are no shortcuts. If you don't deal with it now and repress it, you'll deal with it later.
After I lost my sister in 1991, I was in such severe emotional pain. I was desperate for answers, so I bought books on the grieving process.
For a very close loss, a person is usually in the thick of it for the first year, and the cycle runs about 3 years. This doesn't mean that you forget the person or stop mourning their loss--but the emotional healing usually begins at this point.
I found this to be very true. I still have my moments 13 years later, and I never know when it's going to hit me. I can be in the car and a song she loved will come on the radio, and I get overwhelmed with grief--so much that it feels as fresh as it did when I first lost her.
I realize holidays will never be the same, but I adjust. There's no choice other than to accept your loss.
Grief counseling helps too if you feel that it's bigger than you.
I wish you the best. Time is a great healer.

Jem · 05-15-2003, 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by vintagetvgirl
Does anyone else have a really difficult time with the loss of a loved one,and you just can't handle it,like you should?I've always been like that.Whether it's a person or pet,I just stay obsessed for a long time.I guess I'm just so sensitive to that type of thing.I remember when my Grandfather died about 14 1/2 yrs. ago,it took me YEARS to really feel better.Also,when my cat died about 2 1/2 yrs. ago,I had and still have a rough time with that.And now,my most recent loss,my Grandmother,a little over 3 weeks ago and I'm still just devastated.Even when I know someone's passing is for the best,I just can't let go.

Don't feel bad. Everyone grieves differently. When my dog died back in December it took me until March before I felt better. I'm sensitive when it comes to deaths, too. Especially if they're close to me, whether it be a family member or a pet. I remember a couple of weekends before my dog died I couldn't visit him because of school work. I had a social essay one weekend and a biology term paper the other weekend I had to work on. I still feel guilty that I couldn't set aside at least one hour to see my dog. But, I just didn't know that it would happen.

Titania · 05-15-2003, 10:53 AM

yeah...my way of dealing w/ it is just to ignore it and move on asap..then i find myself awhile later just breaking down and not knowing why.
ive lost all 4 of my grandparents within the past 6 years, my cousin, my great aunt, and 2 of my friends.

i still have a hard time in certain situations- like holidays, birthdays, and family events, and situations where my friends would normally be there.
its especially hard w/ my friends- one was an accident and sometimes ill still think about the news headlines from that night. the other committed suicide which has been incredibly hard to accept.
and i get this insane jealousy when my friends talk about spending time w/ their grandparents.

05-14-2003, 10:52 PM	#1
Tuesday Weld I missed you all. hugs Forum Celebrity Join Date: Feb 02, 2003 Location: Having a great time. Posts: 22,285	grief Does anyone else have a really difficult time with the loss of a loved one,and you just can't handle it,like you should?I've always been like that.Whether it's a person or pet,I just stay obsessed for a long time.I guess I'm just so sensitive to that type of thing.I remember when my Grandfather died about 14 1/2 yrs. ago,it took me YEARS to really feel better.Also,when my cat died about 2 1/2 yrs. ago,I had and still have a rough time with that.And now,my most recent loss,my Grandmother,a little over 3 weeks ago and I'm still just devastated.Even when I know someone's passing is for the best,I just can't let go.Does anyone else have a really tough time coping with it?
	__________________ Cindy Formerly musicrocksmyworld, ElvisDustyfan and vintagetvgirl. After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say "I want to see the manager." - William S. Burroughs

05-14-2003, 11:05 PM	#2
¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ MISS APRIL Forum Addict Join Date: Jul 19, 2001 Location: Parsonsfield ME Shaws - Screwing my way up the employment ladder! Posts: 68,780	The only deaths Ive had to deal with his my pets- and believe me its just as tragic as people- theyre a part of the family. I hold a special spot for animals- IMO theyre innocent creatures and I have such sympathy for them. When my Grandmother was sick a couple of weeks ago, it was upsetting, but then after I just remembered that when God wants you to go its the right time. When I keep thinking that to myself, it takes off some of the sadness. I believe that God will take you when you are ready and hes not doing it selfishly.
	__________________ DAVID COOK FOR AMERICAN IDOL

05-14-2003, 11:24 PM	#5
Max Whittaker I want Serenity back Forum Veteran Join Date: Apr 30, 2001 Posts: 6,180	We all handle grief in our own way. You shouldn't feel like you are doing it wrong. You'll always have a part of those people(and animals) with you; because they touched your heart. When they leave, they never really go. It's alright to hurt.
	__________________ I will get things done for America – to make our people safer, smarter, & healthier. I will bring Americans together to strengthen our communities. Faced with apathy, I will take action. Faced with conflict, I will seek common ground. Faced with adversity, I will persevere. I will carry this commitment with me this year and beyond. I am an AmeriCorps member, and I will get things done.

05-15-2003, 12:41 AM	#10
AnaheimPMWitch AKA CaitlinMoore2002 Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: May 08, 2002 Location: in the Las Vegas Crime Lab hangin with Nick and Sara Posts: 4,973	I dont know when I recently lost my Grandpa eventhough he was REALLY mean to us while he was alive it hit really hard for me I was an emotional MESS for A LONG time
	__________________ "We're not dating , We just go to Movies"-Sara Sidle CSI "Now all I can think about is someone took my Doll and Now I want him back so I can Play with him HER Well you know what I mean"-Reggie on Becker "Just in case I'm not enough of a Freak already LETS add a Tiara"-Mia Princess Diaries

05-15-2003, 10:53 AM	#15
Titania a part of that Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 04, 2000 Posts: 3,694	yeah...my way of dealing w/ it is just to ignore it and move on asap..then i find myself awhile later just breaking down and not knowing why. ive lost all 4 of my grandparents within the past 6 years, my cousin, my great aunt, and 2 of my friends. i still have a hard time in certain situations- like holidays, birthdays, and family events, and situations where my friends would normally be there. its especially hard w/ my friends- one was an accident and sometimes ill still think about the news headlines from that night. the other committed suicide which has been incredibly hard to accept. and i get this insane jealousy when my friends talk about spending time w/ their grandparents.
	__________________ I don't mean to put on any pressure, but I know what a thing is right. and I spend every day reconfiguring my senses. I'll give you stars and the moon and a soul to guide you and a promise I'll never go I'll give you hope to bring out all the life inside you and the strength that will help you grow. myspace

05-14-2003, 11:23 PM	#4
BrandonS Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Aug 18, 2002 Posts: 8,824	I'm sorry about your grandmother. My father died in Feb. of 1992, and I was a complete mental vegetable for 3 1/2 months. I was in a great deal of pain about it for many years, and I still feel a lot of pain connected with it. My cat, Coke, died in 1984, and I still miss her a lot, although, my new cat, Winston, fills her spot nicely.

05-14-2003, 11:39 PM	#7
DarleneIllyria Gone Forum Star Join Date: Oct 15, 2000 Posts: 19,086	Oh yeah, I really have a rough time with stuff like that. Please don't think this is some sort of cop out, or anything like that. I know death is a part of life and all that, but I've really had whammies full of death. If I start to feel better, I'll lose someone or something else and I get knocked back down again. Usually, I'd slowly climb to my feet again and have the repeat knock downs, but sometimes I'll just be in this dark mood where all I want to do is cry my eyes out. No, I'm not the type of person that goes around crying 24/7. I put up a front when I'm around people, but when I'm alone, that's when it all comes out. Death is especially hard if you're so close to the person or pet. It's just hard to cope. It's really hard to cope if I see something that reminds me of the person/pet. I'll just have to get by myself and cry and get it out of my system.

05-15-2003, 12:06 AM	#8
Faith Internet Junkie Forum Fanatic Join Date: Sep 07, 2002 Location: HELL Posts: 9,879	I have always been really sensitive when it comes to death. I am still feeling sad over the death of my great grandma and great uncle, and that was 10 years ago. This is especially hard because they died so close to eachother ( 13 days apart ). And then there is the most recent which happened almost 2 months ago. This is also especially hard because he was like a brother to me, and I still feel like maybe I could have done something to stop him from doing this. I don't know.

05-15-2003, 01:04 AM	#12
InThisMoment a starlit sky and you & me Forum Junkie Join Date: Aug 02, 2002 Location: Detroit, Michigan Posts: 95,142	but i never lost anybody like parents or that sort of thing..

05-15-2003, 01:05 AM	#13
Janice Retired Admin - Hollywood Swingin' Forum Legend Join Date: Aug 03, 2001 Location: Beantown Posts: 36,388	I'm sorry for everyone's losses here. The Grief Club is not an exclusive one, and sooner or later, we all become a member and pay our dues. Having lost my sister and both my parents, I know all too well the private hell known as mourning. It takes time, and there are no shortcuts. If you don't deal with it now and repress it, you'll deal with it later. After I lost my sister in 1991, I was in such severe emotional pain. I was desperate for answers, so I bought books on the grieving process. For a very close loss, a person is usually in the thick of it for the first year, and the cycle runs about 3 years. This doesn't mean that you forget the person or stop mourning their loss--but the emotional healing usually begins at this point. I found this to be very true. I still have my moments 13 years later, and I never know when it's going to hit me. I can be in the car and a song she loved will come on the radio, and I get overwhelmed with grief--so much that it feels as fresh as it did when I first lost her. I realize holidays will never be the same, but I adjust. There's no choice other than to accept your loss. Grief counseling helps too if you feel that it's bigger than you. I wish you the best. Time is a great healer.