Today I am asking myself this question...

[Pitooey]

Why do I keep pining over a dead man?

Answer - Because this man touched my life in a way no one has ever done before. Because when he came on the screen I felt his energy and talent and humor and I fell in love with him.... He was so phenominal that it was a huge experience for me even though in my real life I had a boyfriend. I was in love with the man on the screen. I followed his every move. Bought every magazine. Read everything on him I could get my hands on. I Literally LOVED him.................

When he died...... His death left such a HUGE hole in my heart that 25 1/2 years has passed but, yet that hole still has
never healed. So I continue pining over him. If he were alive I think he would tell me to "LIVE MY LIFE" and stop thinking about him so much. But I tell him... I would've but, you left me scarred and raw. It still hurts Freddie.............. I will always LOVE you till the day I die.......

JennyLee........

[sfditusa]

Hey JennyLee,

I am experiencing the same phenomenon. I wonder if I would still be pining away over him if he didn't die during my early teen years, and was still alive now. Would I have moved on and have moved forward from my preteen/teen crush. Not giving him more thought than, "yah, I used to have a big crush on him". Or would I still be stuck on him?

Yet, I agree, he was a special person with special talents. My belief as to why I was so drawn to him was that his life as Chico touched me. I started watching him when I was around ten or eleven. And at that age one feels as if your parents are just not there for you. Just angry old people. Ed represented my parents.
And Chico represented me. Yet Chico was doing a much better job of winning over Ed than I was my parents. So, I started looking up to him as a role model.

I knew Chico was a t.v. character, I was saavy enough to know that, yet, Freddie and Chico's persona was rolled into one in my mind. I would read all the magazine articles as well. Studied them to get every last morsel of information on him. I still have those articles in a scrapbook somewhere in my attic.

When he died, part of me felt ripped off of me permanently. Sounds over dramatic, yet I did. I remember watching the news while he was in a coma, praying all day and crying and crying. Hoping for a miracle, waiting for the news to come on, to tell me Freddie would be ok.

When the news came on and announced his death, my jaw literally fell open. Just as you would see in comic strips. I never knew up until that moment, that ones jaw really would react that way upon hearing horrible news.

I was sad for over a year. My grades dropped from A/B's to D's because all day long I would construct new and imaginative ways that Freddie would come back to life. Or how I could have saved him. A greif therapist would say that was the denial part of my grieving process.

Freddie is a part of my life as well, and I too know he always will be. I loved, and love him too. And know I always will. That is why the internet is so great, and finding these sites have opened up avenues I was looking for right after Freddie's death.

One last thought as to why I, and perhaps others on these sites as well, could still be dealing with the surprise and pain of Freddie's abrupt departure from us even to this day. I attached so easily and quickly to him. He was funny, cute, great personality, and was winning over the parental figure in his life. While in my life all I seemed to doing was being beaten down emotionally by my parents. He could just laugh off Ed's verbal abuse, and come out on top of any conversation. I was living vicariously through him.

And when Freddie died, by taking his own life, be it an accident or not, the dichotomy of his smiling face on CATM, and the brutal reality of him being so unhappy that he took his own life shook me to my inner core. How could that happy go lucky guy, the one who was getting approval from Ed, when I couldn't even get that from my parents, kill himself. I wondered how I could live, if he felt he couldn't.

I am not a therapist! And am obviously speaking from my experience, and do appreciate this site and the others as well, to be able to vent with people who understand what I went through those 25+ years. To not feel alone in these feelings is *the best*. And for whatever reason we felt the connection to Freddie, he brought some really cool, great, and supportive people together now.

And for that, I am thankful to him.

[sfditusa]

For me Ed represented my parents, yet, no matter what stage of life one was in at the time CATM was on the air, you could relate Ed to dealing with any hard to please superior. Be it a parent, boss, in law, or just about any position of power one is dealing with. In that respect, every person could relate to Chico's plight in life. Because it was and is such a common day to day struggle for everyone.

You know what I mean?

Let me know what you guys think!

[Cheryl Harrell]

Even tho I wasn't into Freddie back then, even tho I watched CATM back then & just got into him during the TVLAND marathon & re-runs, I can relate to how ya'll feel.

People ask me how come I've gotten into a dead man & joke about it & think it's weird. People think it's weird or dumb to still be into my favorite stars at age 40 something & still collect on them having collected on them for yrs. They think I'm too old to do that. They thought it was weird I didn't drop liking my stars when I got married & continued to like & collect on them (Monkees, John Travolta, Shaun Cassidy, Tommy James of Tommy James & the Shondells & now Arlo Guthrie & now Freddie Prinze Sr). To me it's a hobby like stamp collecting. & You're never too old to enjoy stars I think & be a fan. Some folks might've left behind their stars when they grew up but I didn't. Even if Freddie were here today I would still be crazy about him...

With most of the stars there's no real connection with them other than being a fan as I never have met Tommy James, John Travolta or Shaun Cassidy yet & have met Mike Neswith & Micky Dolenz of the Monkees once each & Peter Tork of the Monkees 3 or 4 times. But having become friends with Arlo there is a real connection there. I love him like a brother & miss him whenever he's nowhere near by.

With Freddie tho even tho I never knew him, somehow I feel a special connection to him. Why I dunno. I just feel that if he were here today & I were to meet him, he would've become friends with me & my hubby Mike. I feel he is a friend I never got to meet. You all are not alone in how you feel. That's why there boards & the Freddie groups are so special. We can all connect here where, before the internet folks thought they were the only one who still loved him. I think if he were here he would be so happy to know he is so loved. This site is a wonderful supprt group!

[Luckymama58]

This is a good thread, Jenny, because I get asked that a hundred times a day (well I exagerate, but you know what I mean). I sometimes wonder myself. I have been enamored by stars before and still have a few others I am enamored with right now. All of this at the same time being hopelessly in love with my hubby, a man who is just as sexy and funny and talented as Freddie, but in a different way. Sometimes I wonder if I wasn't attracted to my hubby because I had just lost Freddie in my life. I met my hubby the month after Freddie died. He is definitely anglo, but his sense of humor and warmth of character reminded me of the kind of persona Freddie exuded on screen as Chico.

Why do I relate to Freddie after 25+ years? I don't know if there is an easy answer for that. I was in high school when Freddie broke on the screen as Chico Rodriguez. He was handsome, and funny, and his eyes always attracted me to him. I would dream of being with him, that is for sure. I had other loves too, teenage girls tend to have more than one infatuation, but Freddie was up there at the top. Then I went off to college and didn't have a TV to keep up with the doings at Ed Brown's Garage. I was kinda busy keeping my head above water too, since I had never been away from home before and now found myself in a strange land (it was a big change from NYC to the wilds of WV believe me!) I missed the third season on TV, but never forgot Freddie. I would read about him from time to time as I could. I was in mourning about him getting married (as all girls are when their teenage heartthrobs get married) but I was moving on with my life too.

Then, in late January, I heard the news on the radio that he had shot himself. OMG I cried and cried. For me, it was a shock, not only because I had loved him, but at my age, we think we are indestructable. Mortality is something we don't like to think about or deal with when we are young and our whole life is ahead of us. Freddie was only three and a half years older than I was. How could this happen? He had everything to live for! Then I heard about the drugs. It made me mad. I had dealt with friends doing drugs in high school. I got mad at Freddie. I kept thinking, "What a stupid jerk for getting mixed up with that." You see, I didn't know they were prescribed. I thought they were street drugs, like my friends had gotten. The more I heard about what had happened, the more I realized what he must have gone through and then I looked at my own life. You see, I too suffer from depression and panic/ anxiety disorders, what I truly believe he must have suffered with. I do think he was never really diagnosed properly. And being given mind altering drugs to combat it only made it worse for me, as it must have for him.

When I met my hubby, Freddie went into the recesses of my memory for many years. It wasn't until my teenage daughter started to be enamored with a young actor by the name of Freddie Prinze Jr. that the spirit of Freddie Prinze Sr. came back into my life. I started to remember all the things I admired about Freddie and tried to tell her about it. But she didn't understand.

Then, to my surprise, the E! True Hollywood Story ran a piece on Freddie in November of 2000. I watched it with my girls, and all they could see was a loser. (Granted, that show didn't put Freddie in the best of lights) I kept telling them I wished they could see the show he was in to see him at his best, the way I remembered him.

Then I was doubly surprised when TVLAND decided to do the fandemonium weekend in January of 2001. I was glued to the set with my girls, showing them what I was trying to tell them all along. The older one, the one who had it bad for Jr. still didn't see what I saw in him, but the younger one saw his talent and did seem to appreciate it. Of course, no one around here appreciated Freddie's other atributes (tee hee) but that was ok.

This is the age of the internet, and after seeing the show, I wondered what might be out there about Freddie on the world wide web. We had just gotten our first computer 6 months earlier and it was all still so new to me. One thing led to another, and then I found the sitcom's board... the MECCA for us Freddie lovers. I was HOOKED!

I know this was kinda long winded, but I am still in love with Freddie because of all the good things he represented in my life. It isn't easy to forget the dark side of his story, that is why I had to go on my quest to find answers and that meant delving into the dark side for those answers. But over all, what I remember the most about Freddie is his good, loving nature, the generous soul who shared his warmth and humor with my generation. And the bottom line is that his eyes still draw me into his soul, even from beyond the grave. My faith teaches that no one is ever really absent from us, that death cannot seperate us from the souls of those who touched our lives. We may not be able to see them physically, and let's face it, if he were still here, I doubt I would ever get to meet him face to face and have the kind of relationship I have with him now. In life, I know he never knew I existed, but I do believe I have been in touch with his spirit, and I do believe he does know who I am now. That is a great gift.

And the other gift he has given me is all of you, and for that I say to him a very large GRACIAS, Freddie!

[Luckymama58]

Oh and BTW there is one more reason I am still enamored with Freddie all of these years later. Freddie represents my youth. I know some people grow old gracefully, but I am doing it kicking and screaming. So, being with Freddie in my fantasies and my dreams helps me to be young forever. Muy gracias, mi amor!

[hue_mee]

Excellent Luckymama, very well put!

My husband thinks I'm twisted and sometimes can't understand why I am the way I am with Freddie. With TVLand's running of Chico and the man. I was like a young girl in love all over again! Bringing back memories of watching the show with my family and laughing together. Reliving the horrific thought of my father telling my mother that Freddie had died. I was lost for words when I heard my father say of what happened to Freddie. I wished so badly to turn back the hands of time.

Today this brings me to a more comfortable state of mind knowing that Freddie's memory is still alive. Telling the younger generation about Freddie Prinze Sr. Telling his jokes to them and laughing along with them. Just knowing that Freddie is smiling down at us in appreciation of us remembering him in a positive and humorous way!

Thank you my dearest Freddie you will always stay in our hearts, minds, and soul!

[Pitooey]

Thank you Jesus for the Internet..........

Each of your words was literally jumping out at me from the screen. I put myself into everyone's psyche and imagination. I understood every one of you. Thank you Lord for leading me to here.

Not only did you understand why I was asking myself these questions. You also have asked yourself these same questions and we've come together.

Freddie would be proud of each of us. I just know it. This was such an enlightment.

[sfditusa]

This has been an enlightenment for me as well. This was exactly what I wanted to hear about. And I was right. This is the closure I've been looking for. I wanted to know I wasn't alone all those years ago. And I wasn't. I just knew I couldn't have been.

This also feels like a beginning for me as well. I have held my love for Freddie inside, with no-one to share it with. And now I have all of these like minded people, who truly can understand me to the core of who I am. How cool is that.

Very cool my friends, very cool.

[hue_mee]

Very well indeed. I have always loved Freddie regardless what people thought. Whether the point was that he was dead and no longer with us physically but with us in spirit, or fawning over other people or interests in general. Freddie's spirit lives in me to move on, to celebrate his life and his laughter. For example my corrisponding with Isaac not only as a friendship held between me and my husband, but in conversations Freddie is occasionally brought up in a happy humorous way. That brings joy into my heart not only that he is still remembered but loved after so many years! I have been accused of fawning over a dead guy and should get a life, but with statements like that, not realizing what Freddie's life has brought to us today. Laughter, love, and joy in the memory of a handsome young man who lived and loved life to the fullest! No one can take his memory away from us! He is with us in hearts, minds, and our soul

[Luckymama58]

Hue_mee, you are soooo right! I have even been accused of necrophilia (look that one up ladies! LOL http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary?va=necrophilia) and by my husband and son no less. They have said it in jest, but still, OMG! I have gotten to the point when hubby does something silly (like getting drunk) I tease and say something like, "well I guess I'll be sleeping with Freddie tonight" (I have my own computer room with a couch and Freddie is all over my walls!) He looks at me weird, but we are only kidding with each other. I do miss Freddie so much it hurts physically sometimes, tho. Have any of you ever felt like that, like you want Freddie so bad there is an aching in your body? (Maybe my hubby and son are right, I am WEIRD! LOL

[sfditusa]

You aren't weird luckymamma. To feel that pain inside is normal. I have felt it anytime I want something I have no control over. And I have also felt it when I have so much love inside of me.

Both of those feelings sound right for you during the times you feel your emotions physically for him. The frustration that he is gone, and the love you feel inside, for him.

[hue_mee]

I don't know if this is off topic or not. My daily reminders of Freddie are everywhere! With this place (sitcoms) or in my line of work. Lately we have been dealing with an exceeding amount of roaches in our warehouse and God forbid the products (converters) we have been receiving lately! Well anyhow. With the latest discovery of finding them. I imediately think of Freddie and his comedy routine! "Freddie? Where are you going. To the grocery store, huh. Don't come back with roach poison or we lock you out!" LMAO! I laugh at that all the time and continually thank Freddie!

[Cheryl Harrell]

I get sad & hurt over him too now. Like I cry reading sad sutff o him like articles & his moms book. Or when I watched the E-TRUE HOLLYWOOD STORY & they shoed the sad stuff in it & his death & funeral & when they showed in the CAN YOU HEAR THE LAUGHTER him dying at the end, I cried my eyes out. They both had me reaching for the hankies. I don't see anything abnormal in how we are all acting.

The neat thing about the internet is that fans of stars from the 60's & 70's can connect with other fans of their favorite stars & find out info on them which wasn't possible before. Before you thought you were the only one. Now we know we are not alone. We can share pics, articles & stories of him with each other in a way we could never do before the internet. & This is a wonderful support group!

[Pitooey]

I'm just lucky that I have a hubby and kids that understand me. They leave me alone. When I first talked about Freddie (especially to my husband), he understood. My kids know Freddie and his son.

Lucky..... As far as necrophelia...... My hubby hasn't told me that.