I need some advice - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Three'sCompanyrules · 04-23-2003, 03:03 AM

I need some advice from you guys. I know a poster awhile back posted something like this, but now I find myself in the same situation.

Well about 4 months ago I met a girl on the internet. So I e-mailed her to introduce myself, because I found out she is from the same state I am, but our two towns is about an hour and a half drive from each other. So we e-mailed each other for about two months or so, and in late February or early March we started talking over Instant messanger, and we found our we have the same intrests and alot of the same views on certin issues, and we both seem real nice, we have also talked to each other over a microphone that you plug into your computer and we have nice conversations. I have seen a picture of her, but she hasn't seen a picture of me yet, because our scanner isn't working right, so she will see it once it is fixed, then we will know what we each look like. Then we talked about being boyfriend/girlfriend after 4 months of knowing each other and remember she hasn't seen a picture of me yet, however I'm not the best looking guy in the world, but I'm not an ugly guy either. We have talked about meeting each other in person, but it has been only 4 months since we have known each other. I showed my parents and friends her picture and explained to them how we met and stuff, and they are very happy for me and ok with it, however when she told her parents about me, they are like you can be friends but nothing more, and when she told her best friend about me and how we met she didn't take it very well. Now I can understand her concern, because you hear alot of stories about people meeting over the internet, but I am not one of those people, and I don't know how to convince them I'm a nice person. Some of her friends think this is great but we should take this very slow. Now we have agreed to be just friends, but we both still wish we could be a couple and we don't want to make anybody mad. So I have some questions that maybe you can help me answer. 1. Do you think we moved to fast? Since we wanted to meet after 4 months, or do you think we should wait a little longer? 2. How can I convince her parents and friends that I'm not a sex crazed maniac on the computer looking for a good time? 3. Do you think we should or Shouldn't meet in the future, because how will we know if we are or aren't meant to be if we never meet? Oh and remember she hasn't seen a picture of me yet. So if you could help me out and give me some advice about what I posted and the questions I asked, I would greatly appreciate it! Thanks!

PS. If I can think of more questions I will post them, becuase we both hope this can work out, but we agreed if it doesn't we will be friends.

pps I have thought of another question and this may tie all questions together, but with all I posted do you think this girl and I should think about becomming an item in the futre after everyone is happy about us or should we just remain friends?

peter may · 04-23-2003, 06:30 AM

well if you do meet ...meet in daytime and take a friend with you, you never know what weirdos are online

Mijada · 04-23-2003, 10:14 AM

I agree with what Peter May said, but I see nothing wrong with meeting this person. I don't think you should become romantically involved right away though. I would wait a little while. Get to know her family and stuff first and a few months down the road, if you still have feelings for each other, I see nothing wrong with becoming an item. Not everyone you meet on the internet is a wierdo. My brother met his wife through one of those dating services and she turned out to be a very nice person and they are still very happily married.

JoJoJoJoJoJoJoJoJo · 04-23-2003, 12:07 PM

I say go for it. I met my current boyfriend online and I really coudln't be happier. We sorta had an advantage over yoru situation though, cause we met online only cause mutual friends gave him my screen name and vice versa, so I knew right away that he wasn't a maniac and he knew the same, cause friends don't hook friends up w/ maniacs, lol. But we have been dating for 2 months now, and we are both really really happy. He's the nicest guy i've ever met and i consider myself extremely lucky to have him in my life right now. So yea, i say go for it.

¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ · 04-23-2003, 03:04 PM

Well, I looked @ your profile and saw that you are the same age as me (19) so I dont think its a big deal. It isnt like your 15 or anything. IMO, I dont think you're going to slow @ all. 4 months is long enough if you ask me. Obviously Id say take it slow if a relationship does begin, but I dont see a problem with meeting now. The only 3 things I think you should do is:

1. Bring a friend with you and have her bring one too!
2. Dont meet @ nighttime. Meet during the day, its safer.
3. Meet and stay in public places! Hang out @ the mall or movies. Dont go out skipping in the woods!

Best of luck to you two! People tend to emphasize more on the BAD things about meeting people from online then from the GOOD things! Being online friends and getting to know eachother for 4 months is just like hanging out with someone from work for a week.

Mossopp · 04-23-2003, 03:16 PM

Yeah - what everyone else said basically:

*Take a friend with you
*Make sure that someone else - mum/dad/brother/sister - knows where you are and who you're with
*Meet during the day, in a place where there are lots of other people around - don't go off on your own with this person

Another important thing is this - don't get your hopes up!
I met a girl online who seemed really nice and we had lots in common but I soon found out that she was only after one thing! Luckily, I found out what her intentions were before I met up with her. It could've been pretty awkward if I had found out sooner rather than later!
Basically, don't go to meet this girl thinking that she's gonna turn out to be the love of your life cos you'll only end up getting hurt. Just hang out for a while and see how things go.

Good luck - and take care!

Mossopp
x x x

*PinkLady* · 04-23-2003, 03:58 PM

Everyone else has already covered my advice - so good luck!

Titania · 04-23-2003, 04:04 PM

1. Do you think we moved to fast? Since we wanted to meet after 4 months, or do you think we should wait a little longer?

depends...if you feel ready to meet id say go for it. but personally id wait more than 4 months.

2. How can I convince her parents and friends that I'm not a sex crazed maniac on the computer looking for a good time?

well, they said you could be friends and meet right? so once you meet hopefully they'll realize that you arent a psycho killer/80 yr old freak/rapist/etc.
honestly my parents would be the exact same way- thats why I dont tell them much (ok, anything...)

3. Do you think we should or Shouldn't meet in the future, because how will we know if we are or aren't meant to be if we never meet?
if you meet- like others have said- bring a friend and meet in a public place in the daytime.

Three'sCompanyrules · 04-24-2003, 12:30 AM

Thanks for the great advice guys, I think this helps alot. I greatly appreciate it!

04-23-2003, 03:03 AM	#1
Three'sCompanyrules Member Senior Member Join Date: Nov 14, 2002 Location: Holdrege, NE Posts: 1,233	I need some advice I need some advice from you guys. I know a poster awhile back posted something like this, but now I find myself in the same situation. Well about 4 months ago I met a girl on the internet. So I e-mailed her to introduce myself, because I found out she is from the same state I am, but our two towns is about an hour and a half drive from each other. So we e-mailed each other for about two months or so, and in late February or early March we started talking over Instant messanger, and we found our we have the same intrests and alot of the same views on certin issues, and we both seem real nice, we have also talked to each other over a microphone that you plug into your computer and we have nice conversations. I have seen a picture of her, but she hasn't seen a picture of me yet, because our scanner isn't working right, so she will see it once it is fixed, then we will know what we each look like. Then we talked about being boyfriend/girlfriend after 4 months of knowing each other and remember she hasn't seen a picture of me yet, however I'm not the best looking guy in the world, but I'm not an ugly guy either. We have talked about meeting each other in person, but it has been only 4 months since we have known each other. I showed my parents and friends her picture and explained to them how we met and stuff, and they are very happy for me and ok with it, however when she told her parents about me, they are like you can be friends but nothing more, and when she told her best friend about me and how we met she didn't take it very well. Now I can understand her concern, because you hear alot of stories about people meeting over the internet, but I am not one of those people, and I don't know how to convince them I'm a nice person. Some of her friends think this is great but we should take this very slow. Now we have agreed to be just friends, but we both still wish we could be a couple and we don't want to make anybody mad. So I have some questions that maybe you can help me answer. 1. Do you think we moved to fast? Since we wanted to meet after 4 months, or do you think we should wait a little longer? 2. How can I convince her parents and friends that I'm not a sex crazed maniac on the computer looking for a good time? 3. Do you think we should or Shouldn't meet in the future, because how will we know if we are or aren't meant to be if we never meet? Oh and remember she hasn't seen a picture of me yet. So if you could help me out and give me some advice about what I posted and the questions I asked, I would greatly appreciate it! Thanks! PS. If I can think of more questions I will post them, becuase we both hope this can work out, but we agreed if it doesn't we will be friends. pps I have thought of another question and this may tie all questions together, but with all I posted do you think this girl and I should think about becomming an item in the futre after everyone is happy about us or should we just remain friends?

04-23-2003, 12:07 PM	#4
JoJoJoJoJoJoJoJoJo A and J Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: May 31, 2001 Location: .S.C. Posts: 3,070	I say go for it. I met my current boyfriend online and I really coudln't be happier. We sorta had an advantage over yoru situation though, cause we met online only cause mutual friends gave him my screen name and vice versa, so I knew right away that he wasn't a maniac and he knew the same, cause friends don't hook friends up w/ maniacs, lol. But we have been dating for 2 months now, and we are both really really happy. He's the nicest guy i've ever met and i consider myself extremely lucky to have him in my life right now. So yea, i say go for it.
	__________________

04-23-2003, 03:04 PM	#5
¤I Love Clay Aiken¤ MISS APRIL Forum Addict Join Date: Jul 19, 2001 Location: Parsonsfield ME Shaws - Screwing my way up the employment ladder! Posts: 68,780	Well, I looked @ your profile and saw that you are the same age as me (19) so I dont think its a big deal. It isnt like your 15 or anything. IMO, I dont think you're going to slow @ all. 4 months is long enough if you ask me. Obviously Id say take it slow if a relationship does begin, but I dont see a problem with meeting now. The only 3 things I think you should do is: 1. Bring a friend with you and have her bring one too! 2. Dont meet @ nighttime. Meet during the day, its safer. 3. Meet and stay in public places! Hang out @ the mall or movies. Dont go out skipping in the woods! Best of luck to you two! People tend to emphasize more on the BAD things about meeting people from online then from the GOOD things! Being online friends and getting to know eachother for 4 months is just like hanging out with someone from work for a week.
	__________________ DAVID COOK FOR AMERICAN IDOL

04-23-2003, 03:16 PM	#6
Mossopp asleep at the wheel Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 30, 2000 Location: Helensburgh, Scotland Posts: 3,726	Yeah - what everyone else said basically: Take a friend with you Make sure that someone else - mum/dad/brother/sister - knows where you are and who you're with Meet during the day, in a place where there are lots of other people around - don't go off on your own with this person Another important thing is this - don't get your hopes up*! I met a girl online who seemed really nice and we had lots in common but I soon found out that she was only after one thing! Luckily, I found out what her intentions were before I met up with her. It could've been pretty awkward if I had found out sooner rather than later! Basically, don't go to meet this girl thinking that she's gonna turn out to be the love of your life cos you'll only end up getting hurt. Just hang out for a while and see how things go. Good luck - and take care! Mossopp x x x
	__________________ "Heavy metal has been my life since I was 10 years old. It's the only thing I know, it's the only thing I care about." Dimebag Darrell, 1966 - 2004

04-23-2003, 04:04 PM	#8
Titania a part of that Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Sep 04, 2000 Posts: 3,694	Re: I need some advice 1. Do you think we moved to fast? Since we wanted to meet after 4 months, or do you think we should wait a little longer? depends...if you feel ready to meet id say go for it. but personally id wait more than 4 months. 2. How can I convince her parents and friends that I'm not a sex crazed maniac on the computer looking for a good time? well, they said you could be friends and meet right? so once you meet hopefully they'll realize that you arent a psycho killer/80 yr old freak/rapist/etc. honestly my parents would be the exact same way- thats why I dont tell them much (ok, anything...) 3. Do you think we should or Shouldn't meet in the future, because how will we know if we are or aren't meant to be if we never meet? if you meet- like others have said- bring a friend and meet in a public place in the daytime.
	__________________ I don't mean to put on any pressure, but I know what a thing is right. and I spend every day reconfiguring my senses. I'll give you stars and the moon and a soul to guide you and a promise I'll never go I'll give you hope to bring out all the life inside you and the strength that will help you grow. myspace

04-23-2003, 06:30 AM	#2
peter may The SO Limey Senior Member Join Date: Feb 26, 2002 Location: LONDON Posts: 1,883	well if you do meet ...meet in daytime and take a friend with you, you never know what weirdos are online

04-23-2003, 10:14 AM	#3
Mijada Spencers mom Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 02, 2001 Location: eastern US Posts: 4,093	I agree with what Peter May said, but I see nothing wrong with meeting this person. I don't think you should become romantically involved right away though. I would wait a little while. Get to know her family and stuff first and a few months down the road, if you still have feelings for each other, I see nothing wrong with becoming an item. Not everyone you meet on the internet is a wierdo. My brother met his wife through one of those dating services and she turned out to be a very nice person and they are still very happily married.

04-23-2003, 03:58 PM	#7
PinkLady Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Jun 04, 2002 Posts: 7,457	Everyone else has already covered my advice - so good luck!

04-24-2003, 12:30 AM	#9
Three'sCompanyrules Member Senior Member Join Date: Nov 14, 2002 Location: Holdrege, NE Posts: 1,233	Thanks for the great advice guys, I think this helps alot. I greatly appreciate it!