I wrote a song.... - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Sitcomwriter · 04-13-2003, 01:10 AM

Tell me if you think this is any good:

"Benjamin's Song"
Benjamin was an alcoholic
But he still managed to tend the bar
He took a few sips every now and then
Although he knew he shouldn’t by far
Benjamin he blamed his ex-wife
She ran away with the pool boy
Benjamin he sure loved his wife
But right now he knew he should end his life
So he took that gun and he put it by his head
In just a few seconds Benjamin will be dead
Just Then he was reminded of his daughter
7 years old
Blonde hair,Blue eyes
Curly hair
She looks like her mother
She has such innocent eyes
Can she live without a father?
Benjamin he smiled and then rethought his decision
He put down that gun he held
He didn’t want to end his life
Even though he no longer has a wife
So the moral of this story
Is as simple as can be
If you want love then look inside and
Crawl to your family
Crawl to your family
It’s as simple
As can be
If you want love
Then Crawl your family

~*Hannah_Lee*~ · 04-13-2003, 01:27 AM

Good job. That song has an incredible message!

Brandon · 04-13-2003, 02:05 AM

i don't like it

Hollow · 04-13-2003, 02:51 AM

its pretty good

Kay Scarpetta · 04-13-2003, 11:46 AM

Kinda depressing.... but okay, I suppose

*PinkLady* · 04-13-2003, 07:44 PM

It sounds pretty good, but it's too dramatic.

Mijada · 04-13-2003, 08:11 PM

It's better that what I could do. I suck at stuff like that.

Jem · 04-13-2003, 09:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ~*Hannah_Lee*~
Good job. That song has an incredible message!

I agree. More songs should be written like that to show what the effects that alcohol can have on people and their families.

Warm & Fuzzy · 04-14-2003, 07:04 AM

Not bad. I like the ending.

04-13-2003, 01:10 AM	#1
Sitcomwriter Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Feb 27, 2001 Posts: 7,356	I wrote a song.... Tell me if you think this is any good: "Benjamin's Song" Benjamin was an alcoholic But he still managed to tend the bar He took a few sips every now and then Although he knew he shouldn’t by far Benjamin he blamed his ex-wife She ran away with the pool boy Benjamin he sure loved his wife But right now he knew he should end his life So he took that gun and he put it by his head In just a few seconds Benjamin will be dead Just Then he was reminded of his daughter 7 years old Blonde hair,Blue eyes Curly hair She looks like her mother She has such innocent eyes Can she live without a father? Benjamin he smiled and then rethought his decision He put down that gun he held He didn’t want to end his life Even though he no longer has a wife So the moral of this story Is as simple as can be If you want love then look inside and Crawl to your family Crawl to your family It’s as simple As can be If you want love Then Crawl your family

04-13-2003, 01:27 AM	#2
~Hannah_Lee~ Let's dance in style Forum Veteran Join Date: Apr 09, 2002 Location: Alabama Posts: 7,358	Good job. That song has an incredible message!
	__________________ Some are like water, some are like the heat Some are a melody and some are the beat. Sooner or later they all will be gone. Why don't they stay young? It's so hard to get old without a cause. I don't want to perish like a fleeing horse. Youth is like diamonds in the sun, And diamonds are forever. Forever young, I want to be forever young. Do you really want to live forever?

04-13-2003, 02:05 AM	#3
Brandon Member Senior Member Join Date: Jan 03, 2003 Location: Hell Above The Soil Posts: 2,838	i don't like it
	__________________ <center> <img src=http://www.tvlinksonline.com/boards/attachment.php?s=&postid=875292> Break back another heart attack!

04-13-2003, 11:46 AM	#5
Kay Scarpetta Defy Gravity 8.26.05 Forum Superstar Join Date: Jul 04, 2001 Location: La Vie Boheme Posts: 28,013	Kinda depressing.... but okay, I suppose
	__________________ The people who think they know everything about Broadway make me laugh. They've never seen a Broadway play in their life. "oh mi godddd RENT's a mooovie! lyke 525600 minuuuuuuutes!" No. To be a Broadway Freak, you must live, eat, sleep, study, devout, think, obsess, dream, believe Broadway. You must know original & revival casts, soundtracks, performance runs, dates, theatres, numbers, how many Tony Awards A Chorus Line won. You must be Broadway. That's right bitches. I AM Broadway.

04-14-2003, 07:04 AM	#9
Warm & Fuzzy Member Forum Fanatic Join Date: Feb 02, 2001 Posts: 10,254	Not bad. I like the ending.
	__________________ "To the world, you may be one person, but to one person, you may be the world." ~Unknown

04-13-2003, 02:51 AM	#4
Hollow Member Forum Superstar Join Date: Dec 16, 2001 Posts: 30,406	its pretty good

04-13-2003, 07:44 PM	#6
PinkLady Member Forum Veteran Join Date: Jun 04, 2002 Posts: 7,457	It sounds pretty good, but it's too dramatic.

04-13-2003, 08:11 PM	#7
Mijada Spencers mom Forum 4000 Club Member Join Date: Dec 02, 2001 Location: eastern US Posts: 4,093	It's better that what I could do. I suck at stuff like that.