Advantages and Disadvantages of Both Masculinity and Feminism

[LucyFan]

1) What are the advantages and disadvantages do you think is there of being feminine?

2) What are the advantages and disadvantages do you think is there of being masculine?

[ABlairican Pie]

You mean femininity. Feminism is the belief in female empowerment.

[ABlairican Pie]

Originally posted by LucyFan
1) What are the advantages and disadvantages do you think is there of being feminine?

2) What are the advantages and disadvantages do you think is there of being masculine?

1. The inability to pee standing up.

2. The inability to have P.M.S.

[~LadyJess~]

Originally posted by Captain ABlairica
2. The inability to have P.M.S.

But do you actually want PMS or just to be able to use that as an excuse?

[dawsongirl]

There seems to be a trend in your posts, LucyFan. Anyway...

1) What are the advantages and disadvantages do you think is there of being feminine?

~You can be gentle and delicate.
~Feminine clothes are better.
~Men do things for us, i.e. open doors, pay the check, etc. At least they should!!

However...

~I'm not a helpless infant, so don't treat me like one.

2) What are the advantages and disadvantages do you think is there of being masculine?

~You can easily beat people up.

However...

~Being that macho isn't always a good thing. Men need emotions too, ya know.

[ABlairican Pie]

I think I've figured it out, why this is a big deal to Lucyfan about the whole sexual identity thing: he is a Christian who most likely of the fundamentalist stripe who has, like most of us, had a significant born again experience. But the thing that has been hammered into his head by his like-minded peers is that "guys are to be rough, tough, macho he-men with muscles like the Michelin Tire Man, watch football and OD on testosterone..." So when he finds that he wants to get in touch with his feminine side, i.e., the caring, sensitive, nurturing, emotional side, he is intimidated into thinking it's got to be all-or-nothing, like most things are with fundamentalists. Getting in touch with the feminine side means ultimately to him, "wanting to be totally female," he's had this idea ingrained in him by his fundie peers
that men in NO WAY could have lingering ideas of being sensitive or emotional ("Big Boys don't cry"), because real men are too tough all through and through. "If a guy has the idea in a small way to be emotional and sensitive--FEMININE, he is not a real man..." It can also mean he has been DENIED his ability to express his feminine side, he may not consciously think it, but the idea is very much in the back of his mind.

[Hershey]

Originally posted by Captain ABlairica
I think I've figured it out, why this is a big deal to Lucyfan about the whole sexual identity thing: he is a Christian who most likely of the fundamentalist stripe who has, like most of us, had a significant born again experience. But the thing that has been hammered into his head by his like-minded peers is that "guys are to be rough, tough, macho he-men with muscles like the Michelin Tire Man, watch football and OD on testosterone..." So when he finds that he wants to get in touch with his feminine side, i.e., the caring, sensitive, nurturing, emotional side, he is intimidated into thinking it's got to be all-or-nothing, like most things are with fundamentalists. Getting in touch with the feminine side means ultimately to him, "wanting to be totally female," he's had this idea ingrained in him by his fundie peers
that men in NO WAY could have lingering ideas of being sensitive or emotional ("Big Boys don't cry"), because real men are too tough all through and through. "If a guy has the idea in a small way to be emotional and sensitive--FEMININE, he is not a real man..." It can also mean he has been DENIED his ability to express his feminine side, he may not consciously think it, but the idea is very much in the back of his mind.

Bravo!! Well said cuz im getting sick of these damn posts by him. It bugs me.

[¤I Love Clay Aiken¤]

The things I hate about being a woman:
Periods
Pregnancy
Im treated like a woman
High expectations!

[ABlairican Pie]

Originally posted by TerpFan 3



Bravo!! Well said cuz im getting sick of these damn posts by him. It bugs me.

I think the word I was looking for about his going ape-doodoo about wanting to be female was over-compensation. To have a
certain "feminine" quality was a step toward being TOTALLY femmed out. It's like in cartoons where you have the guy crawling
through the desert, his throat parched and he's calling out for water before he drops dead....he then finds an oasis (not a mirage) and doesn't just guzzle down life-giving water, he dives in and swims like a fish...

[Hershey]

Yeah-over compinsation was the word I was looking for. It doesnt bother me that people are gay or bi cuz its thier life but when they always have to be like we need our own posts and **** it just bothers me. Im straight and i think people should just lay off ya know? That probally sounds harsh and Im sorry but we cant help him figure out who he is, he's got to do that on his own.

[Mossopp]

Originally posted by TerpFan 3
Yeah-over compinsation was the word I was looking for. It doesnt bother me that people are gay or bi cuz its thier life but when they always have to be like we need our own posts and **** it just bothers me. Im straight and i think people should just lay off ya know? That probally sounds harsh and Im sorry but we cant help him figure out who he is, he's got to do that on his own.

I basically agree with what you're saying. I too think that perhaps LucyFan has some underlying issues that he can't deal with so he's trying to work it out by gaugeing other people's reactions first.
But what exactly do you mean by "they always have to be like 'we need our own posts and sh*t' " and it "bothers" you? Are you referring the 'Bi/Gay/Les' thread that Holly started a while ago? Why does it bug you that the gay members of the board would want to have their own thread where they can discuss issues relating to their lives? I'm sure it'd bother you more if we talked about it all the time, in every single thread, wouldn't it? Why shouldn't we have a thread about it? Do you feel excluded or something?
Look, I'm not having a dig at you but I feel you contradicted yourself. You say you don't have a problem with gay people yet you don't want us to talk about being gay. If you don't have a problem with it then why does it bother you so much when we talk about it?
I'm not picking a fight, I just wanna try to understand your logic.

[Hershey]

Im sorry-my wording was off-i had to be somewhere and I had to get offline in a hurry. All I was saying about that topic Holly posted was if u dont want to be critized, then dont put it out were people can critize you. People get pissed when someone says something about them being that way and if they dont want to hear a rassion of s*it then they shouldbt post it on a board seen by thousands of ppl a day. ****-that doesnt sound right either i cant get the wording correct. Im really sorry i wasnt intending to piss anyone off or hurt them. Im sorry if I did-this subject is very conterversal.

By the way, one of my best friends mother is gay and when she moved to my nieghborhood people called my friend a dyke and I hated it-why would they call her that just because her parents are different? I stook up for her thank you very much and i go over to her house and I talk w\ her mother and her step mother so I dont have a problem w\it. What bugs me is people always having to have pity parties. You are what you are, I really dont give a **** wether you like the same sex or not, like I said its your life-live it the way you want it. You have a right to pursue happiness so go w\ that right. And for those of you who come out-all the power to ya(im straight) and it took me 6 months to tell the the hottie that I liked him and im straight.

Im sorry if i have upset anyone-i didnt mean to put any of you down.

[Mossopp]

Originally posted by TerpFan 3
Im sorry-my wording was off-i had to be somewhere and I had to get offline in a hurry. All I was saying about that topic Holly posted was if u dont want to be critized, then dont put it out were people can critize you. People get pissed when someone says something about them being that way and if they dont want to hear a rassion of s*it then they shouldbt post it on a board seen by thousands of ppl a day. ****-that doesnt sound right either i cant get the wording correct. Im really sorry i wasnt intending to piss anyone off or hurt them. Im sorry if I did-this subject is very conterversal.

By the way, one of my best friends mother is gay and when she moved to my nieghborhood people called my friend a dyke and I hated it-why would they call her that just because her parents are different? I stook up for her thank you very much and i go over to her house and I talk w\ her mother and her step mother so I dont have a problem w\it. What bugs me is people always having to have pity parties. You are what you are, I really dont give a **** wether you like the same sex or not, like I said its your life-live it the way you want it. You have a right to pursue happiness so go w\ that right. And for those of you who come out-all the power to ya(im straight) and it took me 6 months to tell the the hottie that I liked him and im straight.

Im sorry if i have upset anyone-i didnt mean to put any of you down.

No, no, no, listen, it's OK. You didn't upset me and I didn't feel like you were putting anyone down. I just didn't understand where you were coming from, that's all. You didn't offend me.
Thanks for replying to me. I understand better now where you're coming from but I still think you are slightly off the mark.
The purpose of Holly's 'Bi/Gay/Les' thread was not so we could all have a "pity party". We just wanted to hear from anyone else on the board who is gay or bi so we could chat with them about our lives. The purpose of that thread was such that anyone on here who was having trouble figureing out who they are or having doubts about their sexuality could talk to other people who've gone through the same thing. It wasn't so we could all say "Oh, I'm gay and society has treated me like sh*t and I'm so depressed........blah blah blah".
Gay people will always be treated like sh*t by narrow-minded fools who have nothing better to do than try'n bring people down. When I came out I fully expected to get abuse from the wankers in my town. Should I have to pretend to be someone I'm not for my entire life just so I don't get made fun of? I have every right to be myself! The reason I finally came out - after years of denial and pretence - was cos I was sick of self-censorship! I was sick of always thinking before I spoke - "now, am I gonna give something away by saying what I'm about to say?" I couldn't do that to myself anymore - I'd run out of energy. I finally thought "f*ck it!" and I just started being honest with it. It wasn't an easy thing to do - and I'm still working my way through telling my friends - but I'm glad I did it. I'd go so far as to say it's one of - if not the - best things I've done in my life!
It's not about wanting pity, it's not about shoving our point of veiw down everyone's throat. It's about wanting to be yourself. And I have every right to do that.

[brownsocks]

personaly i don't understand why someone would need to gauge other people's eractions to things in order to know if they should do them or not. i think it is much more fun when you just do what you think you want to not what everone else is doing. people at school tell me this is the reason i'm not popular but to them i say kill yourself and leave me the **** alone. i guess what i'm trying to say is don't do what everyone else does just because they do it or think it do things because you want to and think what you want

[Hershey]

Originally posted by Mossopp


No, no, no, listen, it's OK. You didn't upset me and I didn't feel like you were putting anyone down. I just didn't understand where you were coming from, that's all. You didn't offend me.
Thanks for replying to me. I understand better now where you're coming from but I still think you are slightly off the mark.
The purpose of Holly's 'Bi/Gay/Les' thread was not so we could all have a "pity party". We just wanted to hear from anyone else on the board who is gay or bi so we could chat with them about our lives. The purpose of that thread was such that anyone on here who was having trouble figureing out who they are or having doubts about their sexuality could talk to other people who've gone through the same thing. It wasn't so we could all say "Oh, I'm gay and society has treated me like sh*t and I'm so depressed........blah blah blah".

Oh-ok-I see the point of that thread. I understand now why it was put up. Thank you for not taking my posts the wrong way and your welcome for replying back. Im really trying to make this sound better and not so harsh but its hard. I swear I dont have a problem w\gays and everything. I mean some people do throw themselves pity parties and I hate that. I am not the type of person who hates ppl just because of what they are or what color or religion they are. I look at whats on the inside cuz in the end, "you are what you are and thats good enough for me".