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JoJoJoJoJoJoJoJoJo · 03-25-2003, 11:35 PM

This is my paper i had to write for english, it's about the play "The Doll House".. i had to critique it.. anyway, could you guys maybe just read it over and let me know what you think? Does it flow OK? Any obvious grammatical erros? Thanks!!

“A Doll’s House”
Henrik Isben

“A Doll’s House,” by Henrik Ibsen is a classic example of the rise of feminism and the break down of traditional family roles. The play, published in 1879, was perceived as scandalous and unethical because of its portrayal of martial conflict. The last scene and the famous “slamming door” was even given an alternate ending due to sore public opinion. The use of diction, tones, and the style of writing helps the theme of the play become clear to the reader by the time the final scene is played out.
The diction used by Helmer helped to show how women were often viewed as objects owned by their husbands. In the first act Helmer refers to Nora as his “little squander bird” and goes on to talk about what an expensive pet she is for a man to keep. Nora’s only reply is how she saves her money the best she can. In contrast, Nora’s diction in the play shows how humble women were in the role they played and how acceptable it was for a man to belittle his wife. In act one, Nora asks Helmer to help her pick out a dress. When he agrees she replies, “I can’t get anywhere without your help.” The use and depth of the character’s diction is often revealed in offhand statements, such as when Helmer pats Nora on the head, calling her his, “precious little songbird”, at the end of act one.
The tone of the play changed from anticipation and excitement to regret and remorse. The play opened with Nora and Helmer anticipating Christmas Day and celebrating Helmer’s promotion at the bank. As the play unfolds, the reader learns that Nora has a secret in her past that she confides only to Mrs. Linde. When Helmer learns of the secret loan made to Nora from Krogstad, and the fact that she committed a crime by forging her father’s name, the tone changes to resentment and fear. Helmer quickly starts to worry about what is going to happen to him and his future at the bank. When Krogstad informs Helmer that he will not go public with the crime, Helmer quickly retreats to his role of husband and guardian and quickly ensures Nora that he is saved, and he will make an effort to reshape her. By the time Helmer is done with his tantrum Nora has already made up her mind that she must leave.
Ibsen’s style of writing is typical of the way that the characters might talk in relation to their position and their relationship with each other. For example, the way that Helmer speaks to Nora in a demeaning manner shows that he condescends to her and Nora enjoys it. While Krogstad speaks sternly to Nora, yet softens up when Mrs. Linde tells him she still loves him.
The dominant theme of the play concludes that a person cannot be happy when falling into the mold of someone else. To be happy one must know and be themselves. Nora spent all her life following right behind her father and her husband. When Nora realizes that Helmer is going to find out about the crime she has committed, her reaction is filled with horrid thoughts:
“Never see him again. Never. Never. Never. Never see the children again. Them too. Never. Never. Oh - the icy black water! Oh - that bottomless - that -! Oh, if only it were all over! Now he’s got it - he’s reading it. Oh, no, no! Not yet! Goodbye, Torvald! Goodbye, my darlings.”
By the end of the play Nora realizes that she can no longer live like a child playing house. In the end she leaves to find herself and her independence.

dlemond · 03-26-2003, 12:25 AM

You need to state what the theme is in the opening paragraph.

The term "style of writing" is too vague. You talk of diction, tone, and theme - these are specific elements. Change style of writing to something else. His diction and tone are part of his style.

"sore public opinion" sounds too awkward. Perhaps "public shock and outrage" or "public pressure".

*Don't talk in past tenses. Talk in present tense.
Not "The play opened" - "The play opens "
Not "the tone changed" - "the tone changes".
Think of it as an ongoing thing.

Try in your final paragraph to sum up your main points.
It is your conclusion.

Like this:

First paragraph - intro and thesis statement (ex- Ibsen's use of tone and diction help establish his theme of the danger in losing one's individuality )

Next paragraphs - back this up

Final paragraph - tie it together, restate a bit of what you said before.

I hope that helps.

03-25-2003, 11:35 PM	#1
JoJoJoJoJoJoJoJoJo A and J Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: May 31, 2001 Location: .S.C. Posts: 3,070	Help me out here BUUUUDDDDY! This is my paper i had to write for english, it's about the play "The Doll House".. i had to critique it.. anyway, could you guys maybe just read it over and let me know what you think? Does it flow OK? Any obvious grammatical erros? Thanks!! “A Doll’s House” Henrik Isben “A Doll’s House,” by Henrik Ibsen is a classic example of the rise of feminism and the break down of traditional family roles. The play, published in 1879, was perceived as scandalous and unethical because of its portrayal of martial conflict. The last scene and the famous “slamming door” was even given an alternate ending due to sore public opinion. The use of diction, tones, and the style of writing helps the theme of the play become clear to the reader by the time the final scene is played out. The diction used by Helmer helped to show how women were often viewed as objects owned by their husbands. In the first act Helmer refers to Nora as his “little squander bird” and goes on to talk about what an expensive pet she is for a man to keep. Nora’s only reply is how she saves her money the best she can. In contrast, Nora’s diction in the play shows how humble women were in the role they played and how acceptable it was for a man to belittle his wife. In act one, Nora asks Helmer to help her pick out a dress. When he agrees she replies, “I can’t get anywhere without your help.” The use and depth of the character’s diction is often revealed in offhand statements, such as when Helmer pats Nora on the head, calling her his, “precious little songbird”, at the end of act one. The tone of the play changed from anticipation and excitement to regret and remorse. The play opened with Nora and Helmer anticipating Christmas Day and celebrating Helmer’s promotion at the bank. As the play unfolds, the reader learns that Nora has a secret in her past that she confides only to Mrs. Linde. When Helmer learns of the secret loan made to Nora from Krogstad, and the fact that she committed a crime by forging her father’s name, the tone changes to resentment and fear. Helmer quickly starts to worry about what is going to happen to him and his future at the bank. When Krogstad informs Helmer that he will not go public with the crime, Helmer quickly retreats to his role of husband and guardian and quickly ensures Nora that he is saved, and he will make an effort to reshape her. By the time Helmer is done with his tantrum Nora has already made up her mind that she must leave. Ibsen’s style of writing is typical of the way that the characters might talk in relation to their position and their relationship with each other. For example, the way that Helmer speaks to Nora in a demeaning manner shows that he condescends to her and Nora enjoys it. While Krogstad speaks sternly to Nora, yet softens up when Mrs. Linde tells him she still loves him. The dominant theme of the play concludes that a person cannot be happy when falling into the mold of someone else. To be happy one must know and be themselves. Nora spent all her life following right behind her father and her husband. When Nora realizes that Helmer is going to find out about the crime she has committed, her reaction is filled with horrid thoughts: “Never see him again. Never. Never. Never. Never see the children again. Them too. Never. Never. Oh - the icy black water! Oh - that bottomless - that -! Oh, if only it were all over! Now he’s got it - he’s reading it. Oh, no, no! Not yet! Goodbye, Torvald! Goodbye, my darlings.” By the end of the play Nora realizes that she can no longer live like a child playing house. In the end she leaves to find herself and her independence.
	__________________

03-26-2003, 12:25 AM	#2
dlemond Hey, I know you. Moderator Forum Veteran Join Date: Dec 03, 2001 Location: New Jersey Posts: 6,751	You need to state what the theme is in the opening paragraph. The term "style of writing" is too vague. You talk of diction, tone, and theme - these are specific elements. Change style of writing to something else. His diction and tone are part of his style. "sore public opinion" sounds too awkward. Perhaps "public shock and outrage" or "public pressure". *Don't talk in past tenses. Talk in present tense. Not "The play opened" - "The play opens " Not "the tone changed" - "the tone changes". Think of it as an ongoing thing. Try in your final paragraph to sum up your main points. It is your conclusion. Like this: First paragraph - intro and thesis statement (ex- Ibsen's use of tone and diction help establish his theme of the danger in losing one's individuality ) Next paragraphs - back this up Final paragraph - tie it together, restate a bit of what you said before. I hope that helps.