The Real Lucille Ball . . .

[Montgomery]

I have read many books about Lucille Ball. From all accounts, it sounds like Lucy was really a mean, insecure person. Hard to believe the "Queen of Comedy" was a total bitch on wheels isn't it? For all her success, her life was kind of sad. Any comments from die hard Lucy fans?

[Pitooey]

I've read this too. Even from her own daughter.

Unfortunately, it seems to be true. I believe that Lucy did not have a very happy childhood but I think that she became very bitter after her divorce from Desi and was never really 100% happy again.

[Madness]

That's a shame. I never heard she was mean but then again you never know, I guess! I heard she was nice according to Carol Burnett. Carol said she received flowers for her birthday the day Lucy died. Even though Lucy was sick, she made sure Carol Burnett got flowers. I don't hear many stories about Lucy so I wouldn't really know though.

Just thought I'd share that comment about Carol Burnett.

Thanks.

[Betsy]

I don't think I've read that Lucille Ball was mean. What I've read is that, in a nutshell, she was one heck of a tough nut....but that she also had a big heart and was very caring. I read a quote of Lucie's that stated (I'm paraphrasing) that her mother would respect you more if you gave it right back to her, as opposed to being submissive and cowering.

betsy

[Madness]

You know 2 days ago it was 12 years since she died. I can actually remember the day she died how sad everyone was. It doesn't seem like she's been dead that long though.

[This message has been edited by Madness (edited 04-28-2001).]

[dawsongirl]

Strange enough as this seems, I remember seeing a copy of the People mag. that came out after her death on a grocery store rack. And back then I didn't even know who Lucy was. And I was only 9. But that picture sticks in my mind like I saw it yesterday. Guess I was destined to love Lucy as they say.

[Montgomery]

Funny story from Vivian Vance's biograhpy. Lucy and Vivan were in the middle of of filming an episode. The next scene required a costume change for each lady. (By the way, at the time Lucy was pregnant with Desi Jr) Lucy's dressing room was right by the set. Vivan had to high tail it way over to the other side of the sound stage, change and run back. Out of breath, Vivan rushed back and found Lucy waiting for her. Lucy says, "What took you so long?!" Vivian's response, "I'd tell you to go **** yourself if Desi hadn't taken care of that already!" Priceless!!!!

[dawsongirl]

Awesome quote! I'll have to read that book!

[TV Guy]

There's a great book called "Desilu", which chronicles Lucy's and Desi's careers. It was written with cooperation from Lucie Arnaz, who apparently opened a lot of doors for the author to get access to people who otherwise wouldn't have granted interviews. Lucie Arnaz seems to be pretty candid about her mother any time I see or read interviews with her.

[Betsy]

Desilu is a terrific book...despite some negative stories, I think it was a balanced look at Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz, unlike some books that undoubtedly focus on the tabloid aspects of their lives.

On her web site, there is a segment where she answers e-mails from fans, and she is is very forthright, amazingly so, considering the personal nature of some of the questions.
She obviously loved her parents very much, but as she mentions, they were complex people, and relations were sometimes strained.....just like any of us, with our parents.

[desilu #1]

Lucy was and always will be my inspiration.
I can't understand why people believe everything they read. Lucy was a very caring
and loving person. She gave to numerous charities out of her own pocket while other
stars asked for donations. You can not believe everything you read. Lucy is still my angel. I'm just asking that anyone reading
this will respect this lovely lady who cared
so much for her family,friends,and fans no matter what you thought about her because she really did love and care. Please don't
bad mouth my eternal friend.


------------------
Amy M. Weaver

[Betsy]

Amy, not to worry. You know how it is with celebrities; once you become famous, your life is an open book and people love taking pot shots at you.

I'm sure Lucille Ball wasn't perfect, but she had plenty of family and friends who loved her, and her fans love her. One thing that I've learned from reading several books, and the Lucy/Desi home movie, is that good friends and family love a person, despite whatever faults that person has; they aren't judgmental like the rest of the world.

betsy

[Montgomery]

Amy, I know it's difficult to hear unpleasant things about Lucy. Not trying to burst your bubble or anything, but pick up any book about Lucy done with or without her family's cooperation and you'll see the same things over and over again. Lucy was a insecure and unhappy lady. She could be down right nasty. Comments like this come out of the mouths of her own children. I'm not saying she wasn't a good person or anything, God knows her talent has enriched the lives of millions. It's got to be a lot of pressure to be one of the most fameous and successful people alive while your marriage is falling apart. Guess that would make anyone bitchy. My point is, try and see her as the human being she was and not as some red headed saint. You need to get out more. Take care.

[Betsy]

Montgomery, I know you weren't directing your comments to me, but I will answer anyway. In my earliest post, I stated that from what I could tell, she was a tough nut....as opposed to a bitch. Yes, Lucie has stated that her mother could be tactless at times, and I've read that same kind of comment from other people. However, while you read that as bitchiness, I don't. I believe that Lucie and Desi Jr. have discovered, through the years, what made their parents were the way they were, good and bad, and they don't pass judgment on them. It seems to me that in your haste to not make Lucille Ball a saint, you've gone to the opposite extreme and called her a bitch. Your initial post isn't exactly a balanced look at the woman. You say that from "all accounts", Lucille Ball was mean and insecure, and a "bitch on wheels". That is what you took from those books, but that doesn't mean that is the whole truth. I mean, ok...the woman was insecure. Who isn't at some point? Did it come out badly at times? Apparently so, for more than one person...including Lucie, has commented on her mother's sometimes ornery nature. She has also commented, I'm sure, about her mother's positive side. In Desilu, she mentioned that her mother personally signed hundreds responses to fan mail. However, you have painted a completely one sided picture of Lucille Ball. What about the many wonderful things her friends had/have to say about her? Do they think she was a bitch? Desi Jr. was very emotional when he talked about his mother helping him get through is drug and alchohol dependency; what about that?

I think that Lucille Ball was a very complicated person who, like all of us, was a product of where and how she grew up. Some people didn't like her and couldn't deal with her personality; others did like her, and love her, and because they did so, they dealt with her sometimes difficult personality.

Not everything is so black and white.....

betsy