Funniest Homer quotes - Sitcoms Online Message Boards

Chocoholic · 03-06-2003, 03:51 PM

"Donuts: Is there anything they can't do?"

"It takes two to lie, Marge! One to lie and one to listen."

"The boy needs to learn to weasel out of things, Marge! It's what separates us from all the animals. Except the weasel."

"For once, someone called me 'Sir' without adding 'You're making a scene'."

"Mmmm... <assorted word here>!"

I could go on and on.

Brian · 03-06-2003, 10:00 PM

(While his eyes are getting checked. Bart writes stuff on the wall) "I...8...P...P...why you little!" *chokes Bart*

*GoodMorningCalgary* · 03-06-2003, 10:01 PM

I love it when Homer is Sarcastic. Just the way he says it and the tone of the voice makes it hilarious

Homer: Dear Mr. Burns I'm so GLAD, you enjoyed my sons blood and your card was just GRAND! in case you didn't know, I was being sarcastic

Homer: Ooooh Look at me I'm making people happy! I'm the magical man from happy land in a gumdrop house on lollipop lane!

Homer: [clears throat] Ruff, ruff! I'm Poochie, the rockin' dog!
Myers: Now, that's just bad. You've got no attitude, you're barely outrageous, and I don't know what you're in, but it's not my face. Next!
Homer: [angry] Oh, no attitude, eh? Not in your face, huh? Well, you can cram it with walnuts, ugly!
Myers: That's it! That's the Poochie attitude, do that again!
Homer: Huh? I can't, I don't remember what I did.
Myers: Then you don't get the job. Next!
Homer: [sarcastically] Oh, I don't get the job, do I? We-ell boo-hoo! I don't get to be a cartoon dog!
Myers: That's it, you've got the job!
Homer: [still sarcastic] Oh, now I've got the job, huh? [quietly] Oh thank you.

Anna4 · 03-07-2003, 06:02 PM

I hate Homer, hes so ****in annoyin, but i like the show but Homer always ruins it, i mean that why u little, and mmmmm donuts or whatever is substituted is gettin old and not funny i mean how many times can people laugh at the same thing. Now Patty and Selma are funny and original and have great sarcasm.

MonarC · 03-12-2003, 10:19 PM

Man have a little R E S P E C T
this is a Homer Topic...

"D'OH"

lisaS999 · 03-13-2003, 12:02 AM

Nuclear is pronounced "Nucleeur".

dawsongirl · 03-21-2003, 01:50 AM

Bart: Your half-assed under parenting was better than your half-assed over parenting.
Homer: But I was using my whole ass.

nimrod_86 · 03-21-2003, 09:14 PM

Pretzil Guy: Wherever a child needs food, you'll be there*and so on, i forget what exactly he said*
Marge: And don't forget fat fat people, they can't stop eating!
Homer*walks up behind Marge* Hmm..pretzils.

"Krusty is probibaly up in heaven chatting it up with all the other dead celebritys. *sigh* I wish I were dead.

ElTacoBlanco · 03-30-2003, 07:48 PM

I like when Homer goes to Rock n' Roll fantasy camp and he says to Marge:

"For the first time in my life, I'm confused."

Chocoholic · 04-02-2003, 03:25 PM

"You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of the year if you had an electrified fooling machine."

DetectiveGriffin · 04-07-2003, 10:42 PM

a fav homer quote:

"Could Jesus microwave a burrito SO HOT, that he himself could not eat it?"

phoebe7165 · 05-30-2003, 07:53 PM

"Kill my boss? And live out the American dream?" Or something like that. I'm know I'm close.

_________________________________________
Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death.

judgeharm · 05-30-2003, 10:06 PM

"I'm a rageaholic....I can't ever seem to get enough rageahol!!!!"

"Hello, Mr. Burns. This is your mother!"

MonarC · 06-03-2003, 04:04 PM

ha ha ha ha

those are all classic

Brett Ferino · 07-12-2003, 07:18 PM

I like when he said "Oh Andy Capp! You wifebeating drunk!".
I also like when he said "Ura Snotball" and when he was mad when Lisa wanted a reid for her saxaphone he banged his head on the table at Moe's Tavern and began saying "The reason I'm so unhappy is 'cause the moron next door closed early". And then the moran said he was the one who he was talking about. I also like when he shoots the lightbulb with a gun and says "I WANT MY FAMILY BACK" and was saying I've ruined my "HOUSE, JOB, WIFE, KIDS, PETS, and everything but my precious precius gun. That was my fave ep.

03-06-2003, 03:51 PM	#1
Chocoholic Member Forum Star Join Date: Dec 01, 2000 Location: Between a rock and a hard place. Posts: 11,235	Funniest Homer quotes "Donuts: Is there anything they can't do?" "It takes two to lie, Marge! One to lie and one to listen." "The boy needs to learn to weasel out of things, Marge! It's what separates us from all the animals. Except the weasel." "For once, someone called me 'Sir' without adding 'You're making a scene'." "Mmmm... <assorted word here>!" I could go on and on.

03-06-2003, 10:01 PM	#3
GoodMorningCalgary Banana Hammock! Senior Member Join Date: Dec 02, 2002 Location: Sacred Heart Hospital Posts: 1,225	I love it when Homer is Sarcastic. Just the way he says it and the tone of the voice makes it hilarious Homer: Dear Mr. Burns I'm so GLAD, you enjoyed my sons blood and your card was just GRAND! in case you didn't know, I was being sarcastic Homer: Ooooh Look at me I'm making people happy! I'm the magical man from happy land in a gumdrop house on lollipop lane! Homer: [clears throat] Ruff, ruff! I'm Poochie, the rockin' dog! Myers: Now, that's just bad. You've got no attitude, you're barely outrageous, and I don't know what you're in, but it's not my face. Next! Homer: [angry] Oh, no attitude, eh? Not in your face, huh? Well, you can cram it with walnuts, ugly! Myers: That's it! That's the Poochie attitude, do that again! Homer: Huh? I can't, I don't remember what I did. Myers: Then you don't get the job. Next! Homer: [sarcastically] Oh, I don't get the job, do I? We-ell boo-hoo! I don't get to be a cartoon dog! Myers: That's it, you've got the job! Homer: [still sarcastic] Oh, now I've got the job, huh? [quietly] Oh thank you.
	__________________ RIP JOHN RITTER 1948-2003 Watch Scrubs on NBC! Tuesdays at 9:00

03-12-2003, 10:19 PM	#5
MonarC The truth will set you free Forum Fanatic Join Date: Dec 05, 2002 Location: 3rd Stone From The Sun Posts: 9,525	How Dare U Man have a little R E S P E C T this is a Homer Topic... "D'OH"

03-21-2003, 09:14 PM	#8
nimrod_86 Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Oct 11, 2002 Posts: 196	Pretzil Guy: Wherever a child needs food, you'll be thereand so on, i forget what exactly he said Marge: And don't forget fat fat people, they can't stop eating! Homerwalks up behind Marge Hmm..pretzils. "Krusty is probibaly up in heaven chatting it up with all the other dead celebritys. sigh I wish I were dead.
	__________________ It's a dog eat dog world, and i'm wearing milk-bone underwear. Sorry, Peg not sex tonight.

03-30-2003, 07:48 PM	#9
ElTacoBlanco Couch Potato Occasional Poster Join Date: Mar 09, 2003 Location: California Posts: 14	I like when Homer goes to Rock n' Roll fantasy camp and he says to Marge: "For the first time in my life, I'm confused."
	__________________ HOLY CRAP!!!

03-06-2003, 10:00 PM	#2
Brian Member Forum Celebrity Join Date: Jun 23, 2001 Posts: 20,451	(While his eyes are getting checked. Bart writes stuff on the wall) "I...8...P...P...why you little!" chokes Bart

03-07-2003, 06:02 PM	#4
Anna4 Member Frequent Poster Join Date: Nov 14, 2002 Posts: 148	I hate Homer, hes so ****in annoyin, but i like the show but Homer always ruins it, i mean that why u little, and mmmmm donuts or whatever is substituted is gettin old and not funny i mean how many times can people laugh at the same thing. Now Patty and Selma are funny and original and have great sarcasm.

03-13-2003, 12:02 AM	#6
lisaS999 Member Occasional Poster Join Date: Oct 11, 2002 Posts: 52	Nuclear is pronounced "Nucleeur".

03-21-2003, 01:50 AM	#7
dawsongirl Member Forum Icon Join Date: Jan 04, 2001 Posts: 53,128	Bart: Your half-assed under parenting was better than your half-assed over parenting. Homer: But I was using my whole ass.

04-02-2003, 03:25 PM	#10
Chocoholic Member Forum Star Join Date: Dec 01, 2000 Location: Between a rock and a hard place. Posts: 11,235	"You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of the year if you had an electrified fooling machine."

04-07-2003, 10:42 PM	#11
DetectiveGriffin Sankontessou! Senior Member Join Date: Aug 08, 2001 Location: North Central Indiana Posts: 1,288	a fav homer quote: "Could Jesus microwave a burrito SO HOT, that he himself could not eat it?"

05-30-2003, 07:53 PM	#12
phoebe7165 Pop Culture Goddess Forum Fanatic Join Date: Apr 15, 2003 Location: US of A - the country of "really bad music" lovers Posts: 11,600	"Kill my boss? And live out the American dream?" Or something like that. I'm know I'm close. _________________________________________ Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death.

05-30-2003, 10:06 PM	#13
judgeharm Member Occasional Poster Join Date: May 30, 2003 Location: Alabama Posts: 8	"I'm a rageaholic....I can't ever seem to get enough rageahol!!!!" "Hello, Mr. Burns. This is your mother!"
	__________________ http://www.lardlad.com/cgi-bin/image...r/other229.gif

06-03-2003, 04:04 PM	#14
MonarC The truth will set you free Forum Fanatic Join Date: Dec 05, 2002 Location: 3rd Stone From The Sun Posts: 9,525	ha ha ha ha those are all classic Attached Images

07-12-2003, 07:18 PM	#15
Brett Ferino Member Forum 3000 Club Member Join Date: Jul 18, 2000 Location: PA Posts: 3,782	I like when he said "Oh Andy Capp! You wifebeating drunk!". I also like when he said "Ura Snotball" and when he was mad when Lisa wanted a reid for her saxaphone he banged his head on the table at Moe's Tavern and began saying "The reason I'm so unhappy is 'cause the moron next door closed early". And then the moran said he was the one who he was talking about. I also like when he shoots the lightbulb with a gun and says "I WANT MY FAMILY BACK" and was saying I've ruined my "HOUSE, JOB, WIFE, KIDS, PETS, and everything but my precious precius gun. That was my fave ep.